A
female
age
51-59,
*orculan queen
writes:Hi I have been dating a wonderful man since September of last year and things have been progressing really well until his ex wife met me. Instantly she chose to take him to family court and refused to let him see his kids. She is now trying to stop him from seeing the boys if I am in his life. She cheated on him for their last year of marriage and is engaged to be married to this fling and living with him so why is she not wanting him to be happy? She does look very masculine and I think it floored her seeing a woman in heels, makeup and well dressed with her ex. She has now begun to stalk me through harassing phone calls to my silent landline and my mobile and my work. She rang my work and stated I had been ringing her and abusing her yet she has been ringing me! She even went as far as to pose as a lawyer trying to get me to tell her all about our relationship and when I told her nothing and questioned her bingo she then rang work and claimed I was ringing her! Huh I don't get it. Every time he has any contact with her it leaves him feeling like crap and he becomes distant and really insecure about his ability to please me or any female for that matter. She just loves stirring the crap out of him and I hate seeing the effect she has had on him. Why won't she leave him alone?
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at work, engaged, ex-wife, her ex, his ex, insecure Reply to this Question
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female
reader, korculan queen +, writes (31 January 2008):
korculan queen is verified as being by the original poster of the questionFurthermore, with my previous reply with the statistics to explain further. 98% of women we assist with domestic violence have themselves grown up in a family of domestic violence. Of these 98% of women we assist 50% have experienced childhood sexual abuse. These are the statistics in Australia and sadly too great a figure hence my full time employment. It went well in court except she chose to stare me down with her new partner also doing the same. I chose to smile immensely showing my dimples. No prank calls as yet but will keep you all posted.
A
female
reader, korculan queen +, writes (30 January 2008):
korculan queen is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThankyou for responding to me rcn. Yes I also have suspected she has a multiple personality or bipolar disorder. I am a domestic violence worker and 98 percent of women living with domestic violence have themselves experienced domestic violence in childhood. 50 percent of all women we assist have also been victims of childhood abuse. I don't know my exes history except that she is a very deceptive manipulative type of person who funnily enough is a counseller/psychologist for inmates in prison. My fear is that she may pass personal information on to an inmate due for release about my whereabouts in an attempt to have me hurt. This woman is in a position of power and gets off on it and to me displays antisocial/psycopathic tendencies. Imagine how her day will go tommorow seeing me well dressed and full of confidence and inner beauty invading her space. MMMMMM Her day will be ruined but that is totally from her own head space. She is a perpetrator of domestic violence through emotive forms and in the last 6 months of my work I have come across at least 4 female perpetrators of domestic violence and these are women most bikie blokes would even be scared off due to the mental energy they expend in doing evil things. Will keep you updated on how it goes but I will smile sweetly while looking at her and tell her to have a nice day.
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A
male
reader, rcn  +, writes (30 January 2008):
 That's definately a possability. Good luck in court tomorrow. Part of me, of course, feels sory for his ex. I know it's hard to deal with these behaviors, but could you imagine living with so much internal pain, the only way to deal with it is to develop a more destructive identity. Someone with this disorder began my research on the affects and treatment. Just as an example of what it takes to create BPD. 6 years sexual molested by both father and brother. 2 years abuse by boyfriend, one night he didn't want to be with her anymore and stabbed her 3 times in the chest. She showed my her scars. She was recovering from the flew, lying in bed, he'd hold her down and burn her feet with cigarettes. At 15 they had a child. He decided he didn't want to be a father anymore, and threw their 5 month old daughter down the stairs snapping the baby's neck. He's spending 3 life time sentences in prison.
All though she had all of the above happen, she was a real angry person, altered identities, hard to be around. The time I spent around her, and the difficulty I faced, didn't come close to what she'd experienced. She and I are no longer on a friendship level. She'd moved to a different state and was married. I still pray that some day she might find help and feel for once what it's like to live a normal life.
I hope everything works out for the both of you. Best of luck in your court hearing. Take care.
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A
female
reader, korculan queen +, writes (30 January 2008):
korculan queen is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for the advice rcn. I have just made a statement to the police and am currently getting the police to trace these calls. I will keep you all updated as to how this goes but I will be in family court tommorow as will my partner and his ex. I am there on another matter but I know that her seeing me will spark her rage. At least I have the systems in place to stop any further harassment and now the police are aware of her actions it possibly warrants having a domestic violence order taken out against her with me as a listed associate on the order.
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (30 January 2008):
First I want to tell you the number one things you need to do without fail in this matter. Keep a journal. Every phone call, her faking an attorney, any behavrior that is mallicious, out of the ordinary, etc. needs to be documented. Having witnesses to verify different accounts would be helpful as well.
Her using her children in this maaner as well is a huge violation against custody agreements. People loose custody over that.
Take care.
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