A
female
age
30-35,
*andaxboo
writes:okay me and my boyfriend have not been dating very long..and i now like his best friend..and he likes me and...well...at my boyfriends basketball game i kinda made out with his friend..and i now know that i dont like him and i really really like my boyfriend..should i tell my bf what i did and tell the other boy it was a stupid mistake....or should i not tell my bf and keep it a secret and just tell the other guy it was a mistake...HELP ME PLEASE
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2008): There's a good chance you won't accept my advice, but I will tell you anyways. You are an teen girl, and I have to tell you, you will be dating many, many other young fellows, before you reach the point in life where you will exclusively commit to one. This is what dating is for adolescents...it's the time in their young life, to understand about relationships, to mature into an adult by taking responsibility for one's action by being truthful and accepting the consequences.
At this point in your life, you probably are not be ready to wholly commit to one person and that's okay. But you need to admit that to yourself. You need to mature and gain the empathy needed to want 'one' exclusive relationship. But you just can't hurt others to get there. And the best thing to do when dating others, is always being honest. You tell your boyfriend, and you deal with the fallout and the consequences of what happens, irregardless. If your bf breaks up with you, then you walk away, heal, recover and you learn from this experience. But before you date anyone else again, you first need to understand a person is tempted to cheat. People who cheat are driven by one common urge, the urge toward self-satisfaction. You may genuinely care for this bf you cheated but when all is said and done, you didn't care enough to resist temptation. He may think you are the type of person, who puts your own immediate needs and desires ahead of him. And then again he may forgive you. We don't know. Out of respect for him, he needs to be told and he needs the time to think about what happened and come to his own decision about whether you two can carry on. And what do you learn? You learn about trust..you learn about respect for others and you work hard to grow from this and take the lesson and learn from it.
Don't be hard on yourself..you made an error. Now face up to this and accept whatever consequences come your way. Be brave and tell him. And then accept whatever he decides to do.
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (31 January 2008):
 Tell and kiss him goodbye!
Do you know how your b/f will react? If your b/f come and confess that he slept with your best friend. How would you react?
Would you just tell your b/f , I forgive you and then act like nothing happens?
If you tell your b/f, what will happen to his best friend?
How are you going to tell him? That you seduced him or that he seduced you. His best friend will then turned defensive and accused you back.
Who will your b/f believe, his g/f or his best friend?
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A
male
reader, leonard j. Douglas +, writes (31 January 2008):
Yes, by all means you need to tell your BF,as he will sooner or later find out,so it should come from you
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A
male
reader, chlez83  +, writes (31 January 2008):
What a best friend he has! If he wasn't friends with your bf i would've told you to keep quiet but in my opinion you really have no option.Imagine once you turn him down,he runs to your bf and makes it look as though you were seducing him.You'll seem the bad person.Be strong and tell him even if it means losing him,you'll look less of a bad person.
Good Luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2008): I am sorry but I think it would be extremely wrong to keep this a secret. One of the main parts of a successful relationship is trust and to achieve trust you have to be able to share things with your partner. It's not the easy way out but it's the right way out. There is no guarantee that you boyfriend will keep you after finding out but I doubt your relationship would be a great one if you were keeping such a secret. Explain to him your feelings and I wish you all the best.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2008): honesty is always the best policy believe me!!!!!and believe me the truth will come out one of these days and than how do you think will your bf feels if he finds out by someone else what you did.and remember you have cheated on him with his best friend it will come out. so it will be much better if you tell him he'll be furious remember but give him time and asure him of your feelings for him and that it was a totally terrible mistake.
good luck!
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A
male
reader, kenny  +, writes (31 January 2008):
 The correct thing to do here would be to tell your boyfriend what happened. Then you can proceed with the relationship with a clear conscience, not hiding anything. Of course it depends what sort of person you are, if you think you can go on and keep this from him then do so, personally if it were me i would not be able too, my conscience would be eating me up. Lay it all on the table and let the chips fall where they may.
Good luck x
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A
female
reader, Laura1318 +, writes (31 January 2008):
I think you should keep this a secret. If you tell your b/f , you could be history.Your b/f would not like you if he knows you have slept with his best friend. His best friend will also be no more. Honesty does not pay in this situation. If you are asked , just deny everything. It is only your words against his.
You don't have to tell them both.Just pretend nothing has happened and carry on as usual.
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A
male
reader, rcn  +, writes (31 January 2008):
 I'd tell your boyfriend, because it's the right thing to do. You can't be boyfriend and girlfriend if you can't learn to be honest. It wouldn't be right to do so.
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