A
male
age
30-35,
*oviefan
writes:Well theres a girl that i think im starting to fall for. Well she a few weeks ago got out of a relationship because he kept pressuring her to have sex and thats all he talked about all the time. and she has been hitting on me. Asking a lot of personal and relationship based questions, example: she asked me if i would dump her if she wouldnt have sex. I am starting to think of her like i did my ex. Same feelings. And she seems to be trying to get me closer to her everyday. And i have known her for a long time but i never looked at her this way.Well she seems to fear that i will do the same thing her ex did, after a few months start just careing about sex and hurt her like he did. How can i prove to her that i wont do this. And i want to tell her that i kind of fear the idea of having sex with anyone a little because ive never done it. Is this a good idea. I wont pressure her, i never pressured my ex, she kind of pressured me oddly enought but we never did anything. And i didnt like it so im not going to do it to someone else.''Thanks for the help!
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male
reader, chlez83  +, writes (30 January 2008):
I like your moral standing.You seem to be serious life which is good.Just be careful,some people may make you lose those principles.
Take care.
A
male
reader, Moviefan +, writes (30 January 2008):
Moviefan is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks again everyone, well she sort of asked how far i had gotten. Well i answered but i was a little nervous about how she would react but she still treats me the same and she continues to ask questions about me and she has picked up on the fact that i like her and so has her friend, it probably was noticable o well. But yeah i kind of fear talking to most girls about sex or personal things. Wait maybe fear is a bit strong, maybe uncomfortable. It seems to be getting easier with time. I was really open with my ex but it took a month or so for me to fully open up then. I can be very shy and not just around girls. If i dont really know someone its hard for me to talk to them. I have been getting better about this and girls have been showing more and more intrest.
Maybe the fact that i was a social invert until recently was a major damper on my love life i guess. But i also have reason to be nervouse because this could be the 2nd girlfriend i have had.I am known to have long relationships. I dont use people or do one night stands i dont like the idea of that.\
Thanks
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A
male
reader, chlez83 +, writes (29 January 2008):
I sense a fear in you of growing closely intimate with any girl.You need to open up and that's exactly what she's doing.You never know just telling her about your inexperience may make her trust you more but again she may look at you in a different way.For now,analyse how friendly she is and open up bit by bit.If so,a time will come when you'll be comfortable telling her everything about youself.
Take care.
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (28 January 2008):
 I'm not saying just come out and blurt that your a virgin, but if opportunity comes up to weave it into the conversation, it would be a good idea. The reason for that is honest is a huge key to having a good relationship. Letting her know is not only a way to show your honesty, but it also shows you're not going to hide pieces of you from her.
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A
male
reader, Moviefan +, writes (28 January 2008):
Moviefan is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell that all makes since and i know the whole"actions speak louder then words" idea and i've preached it before but i wasnt sure if that was the best way to handle the situation or not so i guess i'll go about just being nice to her and she seems to be trying to trust me and get closer still, she is still asking me personal questions and telling me personal things. So i still would like to know if it's good idea to tell her that i'm afraid from more people there are mixed ideas here and a female said keep it to yourself. Thanks for the help!
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (28 January 2008):
 Treat her in a non sexual way and do not tell her about your inexperience or fears. Best to keep those secrets to yourself only.
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A
male
reader, chlez83 +, writes (28 January 2008):
It's really not a good idea to start going out with someone just after a break up but since it seems she wasn't so in love with the guy,you are on the safe side.To anwser your question,you need to be her friend first of all.You really can't force any1 to trust you but they allow themselves to trust you.The more you become closer,the more she'll learn to trust you and when she trusts you,she'll learn to believe what you say.Ever heard of the saying "Actions speak louder than words".Unfortunately,it's the only way to win her trust.
Good Luck.
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (28 January 2008):
I think it's a good idea to tell your fear. It shows your honesty. But as far as your question, actions. The only way to prove it is to not pressure her.
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