A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hi i met a wonderful man 5 months ago and the way we met we both believed it was fate. we clicked straight awy and fell in love he was always making me feel spcial telling me how much he loved me that i was the best ting to ever happen to him. we made loads of plans done things id never done before showed me a whole new world everything was perfect. we had a few little arguments over nothing a few weeks ago coz we were spending toomuch time together but then he decided he couldnt do it anymore and told me it was over just wanted to be friends this was over a week ago now he wont even talk to me when i txt him he just tells me to stop txing. i dont know what to do ive tried talking to him but he dont want o know im so heartbrken everything reminds me of him i feel a part of me is dead, what do i do ? help
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male
reader, chlez83  +, writes (29 January 2008):
Firstly my sincere sorry.Welcome to the world of heartbreaks.I used to believ in love at 1st sight but no longer do.Love grows and matures into reality.You guys were climbing the tree from the top branches and not the the bottom or trunk.You can't just meet sum1 today and claim you love them.Probably,in your case you've grown to love him but the FACT is that what you two felt when you met is called INFATUATION and it's faded and GONE on his part and you can't force him to love you.If you claim it's love,let him be,he'll surely come back.He may have fallen in love with sum1 else and just realised that he doesn't love you.Give him time,if he doesn't come back,MOVE ON!!!
Good Luck.
A
female
reader, xxmissxx +, writes (29 January 2008):
 Well, in the understanding that you're certain he actually did love you, then left you, there has to be some sort of hidden reason why, and you obviously want to know without sounding too desperate or clingy.I suggest you call him, don't cry, sniffle or sound upset, just simply ask, "why did you leave I'd like to know what I've done." Some reasons could be that he'd found someone else to fall in love with, or all this "I love you" business, could be that he found a way to get what he wanted. Or it could be that something else more important has occured in his life that he's had to put all relationships to one side for now. I hope you find the answers you want hun.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2008): hey its the girl with the problem here.... ok lets statr from beginning, im 21 hes 28 we hit it off straight away it was like we'd know each other years. everything was so perfect we were so close and could be honest and ourselves with each other. no he didnt tell me he loved me just for sex we had sex for the first time after about 3 weeks then a coupls of months after i had too much to drink was being sick and thats when he told me he loved me yeah romantic i know. i had no reason to ever doubt him or his love for me he even cried when he thought he was going to lose me at one point. i just dont understand what changed and thats whats making letting go so hard. we used to lie under the stars, go to this big hill where we would be in the clouds things id never done but enjoyed so much. he was always telling me how amazing what we had was and how it would never change we even talked about our future together looking online at holidays there was not once did i ever not believe this would ever happen i know i probably sound stupid but the way we met we both knew it was ment to be but now im all alone and wondering what i did wrong why all the love he had now feels like hate for me
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A
female
reader, MissKin +, writes (28 January 2008):
 Often we rush into relationships with "I love you"s and "forever and ever"s flying all over the place.
The brutal truth is that some loves don't last. That doesn't make them any less special.
If he doesn't feel like talking about it. there is nothing you can do to force him into it.
I know it hurts but without his explanation, what can you do to change things?
Perhaps he can't explain, and is afraid that explaining will make things hurt more.
Sometimes we confuse our feelings and say 'i love you' before you really know it's true and it turns out to be a love that thrives on new things and once all the new things are gone... it's just a friendship.
Tell him how much you're hurting. Explain that you just need to know, it's the only way you're going to get any comfort frm this situation.
I'm sorry this has happened to you. It's a deeply upsetting time. But, to be honest, if things don't work themselves out, i suggest trying to buck up and move on. However impossible this may seem, at some point it'll become possible. Make sure you're not alone during this time. rely on friends, family, anyone you trust and that can make you smile.
I'm not sure what else to say but if there is ever anything i can do, please don't hesistate to message me. i'd be happy to talk about things with you a bit more.
Hopefully other people will provide good advice.
Please don't blame anything on yourself though, things will be okay.
best wishes,
x
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A
female
reader, xxmissxx +, writes (28 January 2008):
youve not been together that long, 5 months is a short time. And its like that song "you cant hurry love".
It isnt the best way to go about a relationship. And he clearly has a reason not to be with you or youd still be together.
Hunny learn from this and im afraid to say move on because you cannot make him be with you. There isnt a love potion that exists that can help you, the only thing you can do is get a grip and move on, it isnt easy, it was never meant to be easy.
but its definatly do-able! Trust me you will come out on top and next time you meet someone take your time, distance yourself a little form the love bug!
Men dont fall in love as soon as us women would like, they never have never will, especially young lads aged 18-30! just take your time next time around, youll find love again belive me!
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A
male
reader, rcn  +, writes (28 January 2008):
 Does part of this quick interaction with him include sex? The problem with rushing in to quickly, even if it seems like fate is weeding out truth from "I'll say I love you until I get what I want."
Sory this happened to you. This part of you that feels dead will return. I hope you find someone who will really give you the love and respect you deserve.
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A
female
reader, thatgothgirl20 +, writes (28 January 2008):
 I'm sorry this happened to you. It seems like you are a very trusting person, and he took advantage of that. Maybe you should do some investigating, possibly so it would be easier of you to let him go. Was this man married and didn't tell you?
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