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... Send *anniepeg a private message | | | *anniepeg's profile:I am 34, married a second time. My son is 9 years old and 2 cats. He keeps me busy. My hobbies are movies, recreational games like xbox games, darts, badminton and dear cupid of course. I used to play the piano but stopped. I have been here for 6 years. Every year I see myself change. Every day is a surprise, an opportunity for growth while some days are just coasting along wondering what the point is. My relationship views are a mix of traditional values and modern, open minded ones. I still believe in long term monogamy as it feels right to me. Other than that I feel there are too many rules in a relationship that I would like to get rid of. Dearcupid is a source of my learning about relationships. I am too young to form a conclusion of what love is. I guess I will grow old with this site.
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My boyfriend refuses or is incapable of loving me
Q. I love my boyfriend, But he doesn't know. He doesn't believe in being in love or falling in love, he actually hates the phrase "Falling in love", he doesn't think its real. We say all the time we like each other. But its killing me because I love ...
A. 24 January 2013: Are you living as roommates now or does his actions say he loves you? Have you visited each other's parents, gone on a trip together? What are his views on marriage and children? I believe you need these before exchanging I love yous. ... (read in full...)
Are these the signs of an abusive relationship or am I being paranoid?
Q. I am a little worried about the relationship I have with my boyfriend, but I don’t know if I am being paranoid or not. A few years ago I was in an abusive relationship. My instinct at the time told me to get out, but I didn’t and I got hurt. ...
A. 24 January 2013: I do see signs. He is isolating you from friends so you have no support group. If you doubt your sanity it means he's slowly getting into your head. One way of doing that is through gaslighting. It means manipulating your sense of reality and making ... (read in full...)
I want to get married but my partner's been married twice before and doesn't think he wants to marry me!
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for going on 2 years. He recently told me that he loved me but wasn't in love with me. But he wanted to be. He said that he wanted to work on things. He stayed. Now he says that he loves me. And he is glad that he ...
A. 23 January 2013: A man with two failed marriages would think 1) Love does not last forever. 2) He can't trust his judgment to make the right decision. 3) Marriages are expensive, and so are divorces.
Do you really want to marry a man who's not in love with you?... (read in full...)
I think I am falling for him but I know he doesn't want a relationship, what should I do?
Q. In September I lost my virginity to a friend of a friend who'd recently broken up with a girlfriend. Since then we've slept together a few more times. My friend has informed me that he's 'enjoying being single' and doesn't want a serious ...
A. 21 January 2013: You should stop sleeping with him. I don't understand how people put so much importance on avoiding awkwardness, over protecting your own feelings. Just say you still want to be friends with him but you won't go to his place anymore. It has to be a ... (read in full...)
An affair that I never wanted to begin ended badly. I am shocked to the core at how he could do this to me!
Q. I understand that I will be judged for what I am about to ask, but please understand that nothing that can be said is comparable to the guilt and pain I am putting myself through. I had a male friend for about 2 years with whom I went to school. ...
A. 21 January 2013: Never believe anything a married man says. It doesn't matter that he had been your friend for two years. He fed you a script, a very creative one too. You said he has to divorce for himself, then he said his wife changed for herself. Too much ... (read in full...)
Is it creepy to have a relationship with him when he posted online for causal sex?
Q. Met a guy on a dating site, we totally clicked and I really really like him and he feels the same about me. We have so much in common too. Seems great right, but I recently found that he or someone that looks amazing like him, posted pics and ...
A. 21 January 2013: I had looked for casual sex with strangers in the past. I don't look at myself as creepy. Now I don't feel it is anything worth my time. When I am dating with serious intent I would make sure all traces are gone, even if they belonged to the past. ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend claims that I just want a ring as a prize!
Q. My boyfriend of 2 years and I have been talking about marriage. Please note that I am a grown woman with a degree, a job, my own home, car, pay all of my own bills, am completely self-supprting. I am generous in relationships in general with my ...
A. 20 January 2013: Your boyfriend is now the kook. Don't get burned by his abuse and stinginess. ... (read in full...)
"time apart" means break? or break up?
Q. If your boyfriend says we need time apart, no contact for a bit is it okay to clarify if this is a "break" or "breakup" or should I just give up...
A. 20 January 2013: What differentiates a real relationship to an on and off relationship is that a real boyfriend will keep in touch with you even if he has an exam, his mom is sick, or you two had an argument the last night. You are important in his life and he feels ... (read in full...)
How can you suddenly be so happy with the sort of people that previously you couldn't stand?
Q. Hi, this is not one of them questions where I'm asking for advice on how to get over someone, its more of asking for an understanding to why things have changed as they have. Basically me and this guy liked each other for years and then finally...
A. 20 January 2013: You started as friends and were trying to make transitions into a real couple but probably the chemistry was not enough. He tried to convince himself that staying with you was good because you are more similar to each other. He exaggerated his ... (read in full...)
How can I tell my boyfriend that he doesn't need to bring up his children in every conversation?
Q. I am a horrible person that has hurt ny boyfriend in the past. I have changed however and he can see that. He has kids to another girl that he only gets to.see every known and then. i feel like he still loves this girl no matter how much he tells me ...
A. 20 January 2013: He definitely needs someone to talk to, but you are not his counsellor and you can't put your needs aside to attend to his. For some reason I don't see you as a horrible person in the past. Whatever happend in the past there is no need to punish ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend lied.. how to trust him again?
Q. I have been living with my boyfriend for over 4 years. He is my first, but he has had one long term relationship before me. We have had a great relationship in every aspect and nothing has threatened it so far. Well.. i admit sometimes it does feel ...
A. 20 January 2013: You shouldn't let it go. Let me tell you, what being able to talk about everthing means. A relationship either progresses into marriage and family, or it deteriorates into a cycle of insecurity and infidelity. He does not want to step up the game ... (read in full...)
How can I stop caring for this guy who obviously doesn't care for
Q. I started dating this guy 3 years ago. At first he seemed so sweet and trustworthy. After a few months we started to fight over the fact that I was still friends with my ex boyfriend. We would fight a lot because I could tell he didn't trust me...
A. 20 January 2013: I believe he had already cheated when he had a "problem" with you being friends with your ex. He accused first so he did not look like the guilty one. He also fought with you to come up with a "reason" for cheating. If you had not broken up with him ... (read in full...)
Should I try to discourage him from wanting to be married to me? Or end the marriage? Could I get transitional housing to leave?
Q. Married for over 11-12 years with passive aggressive husband who constantly diminishes my every move. I have 2 sons who are 8 and 10, and a daughter who just turned 1. Scared that no one will take care of me when I get old. I'm always good at my o...
A. 20 January 2013: I don't know much about transitional housing but making the first move is always the most difficult. You just need to start somewhere. You need more than a place to live. Sounds like you need protection order from him too. He might now know your ... (read in full...)
He lies about still contacting his ex-wife
Q. I recently looked at my boyfriend of 3 months text messages and he texted his ex-wife asking to take her out on a date. However she declined his offer. Now I have asked him if he has any feeling for her and is telling me no he doesn't! I know he is ...
A. 20 January 2013: You are not going to get it out of him without breaking up with him. Do you really want to work it out with him? It is obvious that his ex wife divorced him and he is relentless as he could not accept the break up. The marriage could not get past ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend asked for undetermined break!
Q. Hello everyone, i don't know how to deal with my boyfriend. There is something that happened to my life and i told him exactly what happened the whole truth, but however i wasnt comfortable telling my family yet, i grew up in a family where we weren...
A. 20 January 2013: It's just unfortunate that when you need a person who understand you and have your back you got a judgmental boyfriend who can't handle the truth. Who is he to judge? If your family feels you are not letting them down and understands your ... (read in full...)
Three dates and we're already fighting? Is it time to stop things?
Q. I met a guy by chance at my local coffee shop. There was instant chemistry. He asked me out and has been more romantic than Iv ever experienced. He said the sweetest things you could ever imagine and although I was hesitant to trust him he promised ...
A. 20 January 2013: Whether you take it slow or plunge into this relationship, you see his real self, passionate and straight forward. He does not hide his feelings, but he also does not think for others in the heat of the moment. So to go slow you have to determine ... (read in full...)
I am my husband's punching bag! I'm very lonely in this marriage
Q. My husband is 12 years older then I. We dated for 1.5. Then married. I feel so lonely in this marriage. He complains about everything. Talks about everyone behind their backs. But will not confort them. So i become the punching bag. He allows people ...
A. 20 January 2013: Being with a negative person zaps your energy. You feel more alone with him than when you were single. You don't have a question here but if divorce is what you think is possible then I fully support your decision. You don't have to wait till your ... (read in full...)
Sexless marriage driving me crazy !
Q. Dear Cupid, I love my wife very much but I am going insane. We have sex once in three months. I feel a physical disconnect even though I try to cuddle kiss and initiate love making. I believe that in life if you do not want something to hap...
A. 19 January 2013: Looks like there is a communication break down. Honestly, it shouldn't take that much for a woman to want sex. Intimacy is not some Da Vinci code you have to crack. It is also up to her to express what she needs to feel intimate. Confront her and ... (read in full...)
Should I be jealous of his female friend on facebook?
Q. Just so I'm clear, my boyfriend is 19 and I'm 16. So my boyfriend and I recently had problems in our relationship because he felt we were losing our love for each other and we are still trying to get back to the way it was but now I'm having a...
A. 19 January 2013: You can't promise not to get jealous. Feelings aren't things to be suppressed, denied or controlled. You were losing love to each other because the love you have can't be progressed into a real relationship. It's stuck at the level of insecurity. ... (read in full...)
Sexless marriage driving me crazy !
Q. Dear Cupid, I love my wife very much but I am going insane. We have sex once in three months. I feel a physical disconnect even though I try to cuddle kiss and initiate love making. I believe that in life if you do not want something to hap...
A. 19 January 2013: Is she still getting multiple Os the last times you had sex?
My dad is not attractive but my parents still carry on with their sex lives and they are in their 60s. They are both relatively healthy people. 2 kids and after menopause my mom was stil... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to ignore my friend? Is she avoiding me?
Q. Hey dear cupids! I have an issue. Basically it's coming up to my birthday and I have organised a meal out with my close friends. I have been contacting this girl for a while now asking about whether or not she's coming and i have been waiting for ...
A. 15 January 2013: You can't count her as a close friend. When she ignores your reply it's suggesting that she doesn't want to come but feels bad saying no to you. She's trying to make it up by inviting you to other things. It's like an empty gesture and she doesn't ... (read in full...)
Couldn't take his attitude any more.
Q. Ive been on and off with this pig. hes attitude is foul. he keeps standing me up and he does things i realy dont approve. hes made me suffer for so long. he pretended i was acually going to his last saturday night (saturday before the last one) and ...
A. 15 January 2013: You have already broken up with him so make sure this relationship is off forever. You were on when he couldn't hook up with any girl and you were off when you couldn't stand him. What is going on here is that you got a guy who's so stoned that his ... (read in full...)
Starting to feel used in this relationship -- am I blowing things out of proportion?
Q. I have a range of niggling issues with my boyfriend who Ive been seeing for 6 months. On the whole he is kind and loving but I have noticed that when we go out for a meal, the cinema or somewhere else I end up paying... he never offers or reaches ...
A. 15 January 2013: No you are not blowing things out of proportion. He sensed that he has used you up and the expiry date for this relationship is approaching. So he hooked up with a new, unsuspecting "friend" in hopes of getting free meals from her too. ... (read in full...)
Married man curious about a tranny
Q. I have been married for there years. I have become very curious about transsexuals and think I might want to try having sex with one. I am curious what anal sex feels like. I don't know if that makes me a bisexual?. My wife caught me looking at ...
A. 15 January 2013: I never tried a tranny. Some people say it's heaven while others say it's shit. It's not worth wrecking a marriage over. When you are married it's exhausting to live a double life and to lie to your wife.
It's something different. You want to try ... (read in full...)
Friend? FWB? Love?
Q. A couple years ago I was in an intense friendship with my best friend. Throughout our friendship it was always difficult. But I was always his friend. The second year we were friends we became friends with benefits. Apart from that we shared a lot ...
A. 15 January 2013: I would call it unrequited love. I believe you can hurt just as badly even though he never loved you. I would say that when you are older and you experience another heart break similar to this, it won't hurt as bad because it's the second time ... (read in full...)
If I hate him, can someone please help me figure out why I stay?
Q. I'm seeing a man I like sometimes, hate sometimes who annoys me most of the time. He can be sweet but still. Now I'm shocked that I've spent seven months with him! He's the opposite of what I appreciate in a man: ungentlemanly, often conceited and ...
A. 14 January 2013: As women we are always taught that nice guys who open doors for you, have good manners are the ones we go for. Secretly we like wild men with just a touch of arrogance. I feel that he loves you more than you love him. The stability is hard to let go ... (read in full...)
Am I in the wrong for wanting to end things and move on?
Q. Ive been in a monogamous relationship with a woman and we have recently decided to become more serious. As I get to know this person more I find out things that bother me. I'm sure there are things that bother her about me but what relationship ...
A. 14 January 2013: No, end it now. She probably finds it tremendously hard to suppress her real junk food loving self. I have never heard of hyperactive homophobic OCD. Is it three disorders combined together? You should not bank on future changes. You assume the ... (read in full...)
Husband ignores me for days whenever we row. It's making me an emotional wreck. What can I do?
Q. Every time my husband and I row, he ignores me for days. It drives me crazy, I even say I'm sorry to mend things but he treats me as if I do not exist. He will come into a room and look at me to wait for me to respond then once I look at him back...
A. 13 January 2013: My guess is that you are married to an emotional manipulator. He intentionally causes rifts in the relationship. The fact that he can pretend as if nothing happened the next day means that there was no authentic emotions involved. It was him trying ... (read in full...)
My wife thinks I'm seeing other women. How can we sort this out?
Q. Hi all. I got a prob that I think I’m stuck with. I been married for year and half and things ain’t too pretty. My wife is thinking that I’m seeing other women and hiding things from her. I have a friend, T, that lives south of England, I’m...
A. 13 January 2013: Your wife should not be checking your phone. She does not have a right to check your phone and computer. Her therapy is not working because she refused to acknowledge she was in the wrong. She could even be lying to the therapist, making her ... (read in full...)
Why did he suddenly end the relationship when we were so happy? What should I do?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for a little over 5 months. We live 20 minutes apart and every night when I get off work I spend the night with him. We practically live together. We hardly fight, we have a great sexual relationship and he is very ...
A. 13 January 2013: He feels that him being with you would affect court's decision on your custody. I do think that these things have to be settled before you start dating. A man can love until reality hits, and he has to man up not only for you but for your 11 year ... (read in full...)
Do I still have a chance at getting this girl?
Q. There is this girl I've had my eye on at school lately. I don't know her on a personal level at all because we've never spoken to each other. However I have another female friend that does know her. I had my friend ask the girl what she thought ...
A. 13 January 2013: I would rather have a guy straight out ask me, and not go through a friend for opinion. I date online, the person I pick based on photo is rarely the guy who would be with me eventually. I respond to whoever asks me out first and also what we have ... (read in full...)
Troubled relationship: What's the best way to handle my guy and this immature guy?
Q. PLEASE HELP!!!! It will be four years this year that I'm with my current bf...in distance relationship. We've been madly in love since we met last fall I was supposed to move to his country and continue university there but since we didn’t mana...
A. 13 January 2013: He does not love you and is not in love with you. He treat his friends as priority and that won't change even if you move in with him. You will find yourself competing for attention. When things go wrong you will be held responsible because you had ... (read in full...)
They stop caring after a short time. I think that I DESERVE romance! Is it too much to ask?
Q. I'll start by saying this: I've never been overly obsessed with romance, like I've never chased it, if it happens then it happens. I'm 19 and I've never had anything romantic, I've never even been on a proper date, the guys I go for get comforta...
A. 13 January 2013: The boyfriend you described is not the typical guy who takes you for granted after he won you. He is a boy who needs a mom to feed him, buy him stuff. He even stole from you. You don't have a relationship with him because he can't even take your ... (read in full...)
Are my expectations too high? What do I need to bring a great connection or real passion into our relationship?
Q. Recently I have been thinking that there might be a better guy out there for me than my current boyfriend but I don't know if my expectations are too high? We get on well most of the time and I do feel that I love him, but I don't feel like the...
A. 13 January 2013: The classical struggle: passion vs practicality. The stories in rom coms only cover the courting stages and the obstacles they go through. The real story happens after the story ends and the curtain rows down. In reality if a guy with 6 pack muscles ... (read in full...)
I feel uncomfortable about our little argument.Was I wrong, or was he, or were we both wrong in some way?
Q. I need help, I might as well explain the whole story... Okay on Friday night me and my bf were texting quite late and he didn’t reply for a while so I said 'g2g night love you xxxx' and he still didn’t reply so I guessed he fell asleep which is ...
A. 13 January 2013: It's not about right or wrong. He misjudged you this time. You mentioned you usually had a go with him because he does not reply as promptly before. For you it is common courtesy to always check on each other and say good night. For him it is ... (read in full...)
Am I too traditional? If a guy was attached, is it ok for him to go out one on one with a female friend?
Q. Hello all, I was wondering if a guy was attached, is it ok for him to go out one on one with a female friend? Personally I wouldn't go out with an attached guy one on one even if we're just friends because I find it weird, and maybe a little disr...
A. 13 January 2013: It's not okay if there were sexual or romantic feelings before he met you. This is universal. We are all somewhat possessive regardless of race and age.... (read in full...)
Anyone been in a relationship with a Bf in Turkey? I'd like to help him get a Visa to visit me here. How could I help?
Q. So me and my turkish boyfriend have been going out for just over 5 months now. I met him back in august when i was there on holiday and spent a month with him, I then went back in December to see him again for just over a week and I met his pare...
A. 13 January 2013: http://www.ukba.homeoffice.gov.uk/visas-immigration/visiting/general/extend/
He can also apply to college near where you live. If he wants to work there a degree will be valuable. ... (read in full...)
My Bf is becoming a workaholic. So I feel neglected. How can I broach this subject with him?
Q. How do I broach this situation with my boyfriend? He is getting more hours at his job, which means he is working every single night except for friday, saturday and sunday. Saturday and sunday he works during the day and gets off around 4ish. I ...
A. 13 January 2013: He is unlikely to cut down hours even though he knows how frustrating it is for both of you. If you do see him as husband material I advice you to be patient with him. It will be hard at first with this adjustment. As you find other things to occupy ... (read in full...)
I'd like to be exclusive, not FWB. Should I just stop sleeping with him?
Q. This guy and I have many mutual friends. For months we kept running into each other at parties and finally about 7 months later I kissed him out of nowhere. He explained to me how he had been trying to find out more about me for months and try to ...
A. 13 January 2013: I would not stop sleeping with him if the occasion comes up, but I would definitely spend more time with him on dates and trying to get to know him. If he has been sincerely interested in you from the beginning that interest won't be lost just ... (read in full...)
Almost 30. Is it ridiculous that I'm still waiting for 'Mr Right?'
Q. I'm 29, single for almost three years, I meet nice men through internet or when I go out, but I keep turning them down. It's not that I'm looking for someone "better" or think I deserve the richest or smartest. It's just that I want to meet someone...
A. 13 January 2013: I don't think it is ridiculous. I hate smokers as well. I find it hard to see you describe a smoker with a narrow mind who doesn't treat you right as Prince Charming. I like internet dating because you can screen a lot of things before even ... (read in full...)
One of my husband's employees kissed me at a party at a party. Could I be sending the wrong signals to this man?
Q. My husband and I run a small tour company...we have 10 employees. One of our employees lives pretty far away so when he has to work weekends he sometimes stays at our house. Last night we had a party and he agreed to help out with the cleanin...
A. 13 January 2013: Tell your husband. If you don't then you are indeed giving the wrong signals to that younger guy that kissing you is okay. Let your husband be the man and handle it. Ask your husband to give him another chance, like a warning since he was drunk. ... (read in full...)
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