A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I need help, I might as well explain the whole story...Okay on Friday night me and my bf were texting quite late and he didn’t reply for a while so I said 'g2g night love you xxxx' and he still didn’t reply so I guessed he fell asleep which is fair enough then yesterday I sent him a random text saying 'OMG I LOVE YOU!!' I dunno why I just kind of felt like it then later that night he texted back saying 'Love you too I just got back from being at the bloody pool all day!!!!' (He is a swimmer and has to do a lot of competitions and training at weekends and early before school and then again in the evening after school with his older bro)so I guessed he was just tired and cranky or didn’t do very well so I said 'aww how did you do?' he replied with 'ok thanks' (and he stopped putting x's which we do when we aren’t very happy) I said 'are u ok u sound stressed?' he replied saying 'what do you expect when I get home and your moaning at me?!' I said 'sorry what?' then he said 'I quote - OMG LOVE YOU!!' I said 'how is that bad? I was telling you I love you which strangely enough I do?!?' and he said 'yeah I know but putting it in caps without x's kind of begs to differ' I guessed he thought I was having a go at him because he didn’t reply to the 'night love you' I sent Friday night and that I was trying to get a response out of him which honestly I wasn’t so I said 'well sorry but I didn’t mean it like that' and he then said 'sorry I am just annoyed xxxx' I said 'hadn’t noticed babe :L' he replied 'kk xxxx' then I said is that all your annoyed about? xxxx' and he said 'yeah pretty much xxxx' so I just said 'I love you..3' and he said 'love you too xxxxxxx' then I said 'kk g2g night xxxx' then he said 'night love you xxxx'Okay so that’s the whole convo and I think it’s okay now and I will pass it off as him being tired and frustrated and we have stupid little tiffs like that all the time because we are quite argumentative people and we love each other but it’s usually me having a go at him and that was a bit out of the blue but I was just wondering if anyone had opinions on who was in the wrong because I think we kind of both are but mainly him more than me and should I ask him about it on Monday and risk having another argument or just leave it...? p.s I know this is so stupid but I want to know if what I said was wrong and if it was right for him to have a go at me?!thanks xxx
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks to the answers, haha I feel kinda stupid now seeing as we were over reacting and we do show our feelings through being with each other, but sometimes we use text as well, either way it was stupid and its all forgotten now xx
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (13 January 2013):
 I'm with iAmHereToHelpYou
OVERREACTING on both parts.
STOP carrying on a "relationship" over texts. It's NO proper way to convey your feeling, no matter how many XX's and smiley faces you stack in there, EVERYTHING can easily be misunderstood.
I know that sounds old fashioned (and I am that) but it drives me up that wall when I see people try and pretend that they are actually communicating with others in this matter.
TALK to each other. USE WHOLE words - call or talk face to face.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (13 January 2013):
 Oh please let it go, it was just a banal misunderstanding, and further evidence , if any was necessary, that's kind of insane expecting to carry on a romantic r/ship fearuring healthy effective communication, by text.
Yes, seeing OMG LOVE YOU, all capitals, no previous text of his before, he thought you were sort of telling him " what the heck , are you deaf or blind or something ? Didn't you see that yesterday I said g2go love you ? what are you waiting for , to tell me I love you too ? " . Which was his subjective and incorrect interpretation, then again not unwarranted or strange, since apparently you have been known for " having a go " at him for not replying your texts promptly enough or not putting the right amount of xxs at the end or stuff like that.
I despair of convincing a teenager about this and I won't even try, but : quality over quantity, always , including in communication. If you 'd pursue your relationship primarily by the traditional means of face-to-face or, at least, phone , ... you'd talk less but you would make more sense and have less misunderstandings.
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A
male
reader, Darrell Goodliffe +, writes (13 January 2013):
 Oh dear. Two people who just have to be right are always going to make for a sparky mix. On the plus side, I can understand that being part of the attraction. It is a small thing, your right it is small. Your missing a point here. Context determines perception which in turns determines reality, as you see it. In other words, what probably happened is he got home, was tired and cranky and stressed. He then read your txts and then misinterpreted them as you moaning. Caps, to my mind, do indicate shouting in txt land so thats a possible contributory factor. There is no right and wrong here - just a few tangled and crossed wires. He overacted to what you were saying but did so for understandable reasons, he was tired and stressed. You overreacted to his reply because you felt he was rejecting the sentiments behind what you were saying. So, it is really 6 of one half a dozen of the other. I'd suggest forgetting this one and moving on. This was a score draw :)
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (13 January 2013):
 It's not about right or wrong. He misjudged you this time. You mentioned you usually had a go with him because he does not reply as promptly before. For you it is common courtesy to always check on each other and say good night. For him it is unecessary and a chore. When you "had a go" with him you were basically expressing your feelings, on his side he feels you are moaning. If you keep quiet you feel you can't be yourself and you worry he will stop caring. You had made a point that you like a lot of contact texting. He is trying is best to keep in touch with you but it's still not enough. You have to see if he loves you when you do see each other. You have been relying too much on texts.
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