A
female
age
30-35,
*ooki__11
writes:I met a guy by chance at my local coffee shop. There was instant chemistry. He asked me out and has been more romantic than Iv ever experienced. He said the sweetest things you could ever imagine and although I was hesitant to trust him he promised he'd be everything I needed. On our third date which we had arranged in advance, I had planned a lovely night at the drive in cinema. I asked him over and over if hed be free for the night and he said yes (but I didnt tell him it was the drive ins, I said it was a surprise). Anyways the day of our date he asked what we were doing and I told him, he pretty much just said 'whats showing on the cinema' when I told him he said he doesnt wanna go see the movies again and sitting in a car for 2 hrs would be crap. Then when I got upset he said he cant go anyways coz he has a family dinner that night and he doesnt want to hang out with me if Im going to be a sook. He was very short and even hung up the phone on me while I was trying to talk to him.After a little bit he replied saying how sorry he was and hed cancel all his plans to be with me. We still met up for a while and we had a talk, he said he hasnt had a girl in his life and he needs to be less abrupt when he talks and that I need to be more relaxed etc. He asked me to be his gf and I said ok. But now I feel like all the magic is gone and his sweet words mean nothing coz the minute they are put to the test he fails miserably. What do you all think. Should he get a second chance or should we just part ways (I means 3 dates in and we are fighting). Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2013): I went through a similar situation, where after three dates I had an argument with the guy I was seeing, after I realised he was not entirely open about his previous gf.Anyway, I gave him another chance. And tried not to raise any subject that I thought would upset him.We lasted eight weeks!!! He dumped on the phone, and hung up on me. There were too many red flags and I ignored them all. Now I am glad we ended so soon, I had come off quite lightly. He clearly had issues and later revealed his ex suggested he go to counselling.My advice, frankly signs look bad and I think end it before you get too involved. After three dates you should be totally besotted with each other and be in the first flush of romance, not arguing.
A
female
reader, R1  +, writes (20 January 2013):
 It's not a great sign but I think if you like him give him another go. It could easily be him posting on here how he messed up a date and how to make up for it!
But no third chances, if it happens again, get out!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2013): Call it off. 3 dates, you barely know each other, and already you're fighting and having "talks"? Please. This guy is going to cause a lot of drama. Not worth it.
He will not change just like that as a result if one "talk ". No one does.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2013): Your a bit full on for 3 dates in. calm down, he sounds as though he likes you but it's a bit early for anything other than getting to know each other.
At least he rang and apologised after he bit your head off.Just have some fun,let him lead,if the foundation is there,the chemistry, then wait and see if your compatable as a couple.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (20 January 2013):
 Whether you take it slow or plunge into this relationship, you see his real self, passionate and straight forward. He does not hide his feelings, but he also does not think for others in the heat of the moment. So to go slow you have to determine whether you find his good qualities outweigh his bad ones. To make it work you have to be able to remain calm and not take things personally. You also need to speak in a mono tone, state things matter-of-factly and have a poker face in order not to provoke each other's sensitive nature. When you don't react well the intensity bounces back to you. He does have feelings for you but you don't know if you are compatible yet.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2013): too many red flags: temper, hanging up on you, changing plans, being not flexible just for the chance of spending night with you he shouldnt care if he watched a movie already.
When i just met my future husband , he asked me for a movie,that i already watched twice. I went anyway, a i wanted to spend evening with him
Then changing plans with his family, if it was the case. The this super fast offer to become a couple? I dont know, not for me, tto irrational.
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A
male
reader, CMMP  +, writes (20 January 2013):
It doesn't bode well for the future, but he could have been having a bad day for all you know.
I'd recommend giving him a second chance but quit it with all the boyfriend / girlfriend stuff. Just date him, take it slow and see what happens. I'd let him know that you think you two might have jumped into being in a relationship a little too quickly.
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