A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Every time my husband and I row, he ignores me for days. It drives me crazy, I even say I'm sorry to mend things but he treats me as if I do not exist.He will come into a room and look at me to wait for me to respond then once I look at him back thinking he is going to make friends, he then turns his back and ignores me again.He blames me for all our rows and after about 3 to 5 days he then comes round puts his hand out or tries to make me laugh and I do, and everything is OK until the next time we have a row.My health has deteriorated, I feel so alone, I love this man but I've had years of this and I am a emotional wreck.Please can you give me some advice. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2013): It was Newyears Eve, a group of us go to this pub because it is catered for the children and we go every year. We leave our cars in the car park with all our winter gear so we are able to walk home.Yes it was late but is a once a year thing. If i would of known my husband was going to accept a lift i would of told my friend a lot earlier so she could of ordered a taxi. I asked my husband to walk with me so my friend could go in the car with all the children and take them back to hers but he got angry with me and said no. There is a dark bridge she would of had to cross, when there is a few of us like there normally is its ok but not a women with a nine a ten yr old walking on there own when she is told at the end of the night that we were going with someone else,,im sorry but i thought that was very wrong of him ,every year we walk home together..
A
female
reader, GabbyM  +, writes (14 January 2013):
sounds like he's a good manipulator to me. usually when men stay quiet they are normally hiding something.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2013): Stop letting him treat you this way. Tell him, when you are not in an argument, that you will no longer tolerate days of stonewalling. If he does it again when you are trying to resolve a conflict, you will move out and take the kids with you. Then you should make plans to do exactly that. You really shouldn't be in a marriage with someone who just shuts you out at anytime for days at a time. That's not how marriage partners should treat each other so he has broken the contract.He has learned that he can control you and win arguments by stonewalling you. He knows it hurts you that's exactly why repeats this tactic every time. Stop letting him win. Take back control. Kick him out of your life if he does this again. Your self esteem and emotional health are far more important than any superficial marriage which is what yours is.
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A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (14 January 2013):
"This time my husband and 2 children were out at a pub party, had arranged to walk home with my friend and her 2 children when it was over. It was 2 o'clock in the morning we all had too much to drink so no one could drive. My husbands mate said he would take us home in his car with him. I said no I'm not leaving my friend, we had arranged to go home together, my husband kicked off and told me to get in the car and leave her. There were no taxis so she would of had to walk on her own. So i gave him stick about it, told him that he was bang out of order and that if it happened to me or his daughter he would go mad. So after that he stopped talking to me for days"
He was right you should have taken the lift,you had kids with you,you were all drunk and it was 2am.He was making sure you got home safe and quicker
Your friend could have rung and BOOKED a taxi earlier to make sure she got herself and her kids home safe and could have waited in the pub till the taxi came.I dont understand why you had arranged earlier to walk with her. You went out with your husband as a family so you go home with him.
You don't say how old the kids are.
His reaction is OTT though,not talking for days, you don't seem to communicate well. Get the professional help you need to sort it or end the marriage.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (13 January 2013):
 My guess is that you are married to an emotional manipulator. He intentionally causes rifts in the relationship. The fact that he can pretend as if nothing happened the next day means that there was no authentic emotions involved. It was him trying to make you emotional because this is prove of your love to him. It strokes his perverted ego. You have to return this gesture to him. This pattern is sure to continue. When you sense tension when talking to him and an argument is inevitable, ignore him completely and let him stew in his own negativity. Focus on yourself. Your priority should be your health. Your stress from this marriage is probably exacerbating your symptoms.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2013): Whatever it is, is cutting him deep. What do you normally argue about? Do you listen?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2013): This time my husband and 2 children were out at a pub party, had arranged to walk home with my friend and her 2 children when it was over. It was 2 o'clock in the morning we all had too much to drink so no one could drive. My husbands mate said he would take us home in his car with him. I said no I'm not leaving my friend, we had arranged to go home together, my husband kicked off and told me to get in the car and leave her. There were no taxis so she would of had to walk on her own. So i gave him stick about it, told him that he was bang out of order and that if it happened to me or his daughter he would go mad. So after that he stopped talking to me for days.
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A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (13 January 2013):
Hi
I don't know how you have put up with this for years without getting couples counselling or professional help. Its no wonder your a wreck
What do you row about? Is it major things,relationship issues,or just any excuse?
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A
male
reader, anon_e_mouse +, writes (13 January 2013):
 What do you row about?
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