A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:How do I broach this situation with my boyfriend? He is getting more hours at his job, which means he is working every single night except for friday, saturday and sunday. Saturday and sunday he works during the day and gets off around 4ish. I work 40 hours a week full time, and with my busy schedule and his busy schedule things just aren't matching up for us. Also much to my dismay, he agreed to take on extra hours on Tuesday, which has typically been our one guarenteed day that we spend together. Before his new schedule we spent on average 3 days a week together which I think is perfect, it's a perfect balance between our relationship and our seperate lives. But with this new work schedule.. he can hardly "fit me in" at all. Fridays he typically has off but they hold seminars that they at his job that he almost always goes to, and Saturdays are typically the night he spends with his friends. I want to support him through this because I'm ecstatic they're giving him more hours and this will be so good for him in the long run, but I just can't help but feel a bit neglected. To top it off, we don't typically speak much on the days we don't see each other, which adds to my neglected feelings. I know this needs to be addressed, but I really need some advice on how to approach this without causing hurt feelings. I want him to know that I'm so proud and happy for him, but I have needs, too. Help? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2013): You need to talk to him. Although his job is important you are also! Maybe he could cut a couple of hours, I mean the only night he has off he hangs with his friends when he should really be with you? Maybe one Saturday a month he hangs with his friends, not saying ditch them but you are his girlfriend, any spare time he has if he lacks it should be with you Asking for more time with him doesn't mean you're not proud of him or you dont want him building his career, just means you want him to make time for the relationship just as much as his job because both aspects of his life are just as important as each other.My boyfriend and I both have crazy schedules, I work 40hours and he is finishing his degree and I said to him "hope you have time to see me" and he said he will always make time to see me, I'm still very proud of him though he graduates in July and I'll be in the front row.
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (13 January 2013):
 He is unlikely to cut down hours even though he knows how frustrating it is for both of you. If you do see him as husband material I advice you to be patient with him. It will be hard at first with this adjustment. As you find other things to occupy you, you will find that the wait is worth it. If you don't see this relationship going anywhere you have to decide whether to stay with him or not. Never hide your frustration but always prepare for a solution on your part, and not always leave it up to him when he doesn't seem to have a choice with his job.
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