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... Send *anniepeg a private message | | | *anniepeg's profile:I am 34, married a second time. My son is 9 years old and 2 cats. He keeps me busy. My hobbies are movies, recreational games like xbox games, darts, badminton and dear cupid of course. I used to play the piano but stopped. I have been here for 6 years. Every year I see myself change. Every day is a surprise, an opportunity for growth while some days are just coasting along wondering what the point is. My relationship views are a mix of traditional values and modern, open minded ones. I still believe in long term monogamy as it feels right to me. Other than that I feel there are too many rules in a relationship that I would like to get rid of. Dearcupid is a source of my learning about relationships. I am too young to form a conclusion of what love is. I guess I will grow old with this site.
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My wife confessed that she cheated and our 4 year old daughter isn't mine. How do we proceed from here?
Q. I'm 32, and my wife's 31; been together for 9 years now. We have a 5-year-old son and 4-year-old daughter. Last night she told me she had something to confess; I asked her what it was, and she admitted to me: "Our 4-year-old daughter isn't m...
A. 18 February 2013: She had sex in August 2009. Plus 9 months pregnancy it will make it May or June 2010. How does that make your daughter 4?
She got the dates or the man wrong.... (read in full...)
How can I get past this doubt in my heart that she's being faithful?
Q. I've heard some rumors about my girlfriend from a friend of mines on campus. He says that someone he knows has been saying he and my girlfriend had a thing a few months back. We're weren't a couple back then so naturally this was something that ...
A. 18 February 2013: She is not too convincing about the reason for the relationship being discreet. She has to realize that not being public about you two will not stop the harrassments. People will think she is single and make advances. She has to face her fears and ... (read in full...)
Am I cheating on my b/f because I'm depressed and its the one thing I can control?
Q. I've started cheating on my partner, not because of anything he has done, we arent having problems and i'm not bored or anything. It's to do with my past, I've had a lot of problems and depression over the last 2 years or so. (I've never cheated ...
A. 17 February 2013: If depression made you cheat then you are not in control, as much as anorexic people who control what they eat, or a BPD patient cutting her wrist to feel something. Your control is not coming from a source of power, but fear of people getting ahead ... (read in full...)
Is it normal for my b/f to be this close to his female best friend?
Q. Hi Guys, Hope you can help. Ive been withh my bf for 2 months but from the very beginning there's been something bothering me. My bf has got no family, having lost both parents, so pretty much is on his own. But he is best friends with...
A. 17 February 2013: He doesn't fancy her, but maybe she fancies him and he's with her because she gives him the kind of ego boost that only an outsider can.
It really sounds like they are dating, just without the sex.
This kind of relationship can be platonic... (read in full...)
Will I ever have a chance with this guy or am I always destined to be in the friend zone?
Q. I'm a 17 year-old girl and I've had a crush on a guy for almost three years. We met at a summer camp in 2010, on the way there in the bus. We talked a lot, joked and he seemed really sweet. I was instantly attracted to him. Although he ha...
A. 17 February 2013: Yes he has a longer relationship and he is still a player. I don't know what makes him a prize to be had when he outwardly hits on every girl he sees, not to mention cheating on his long distance girlfriend. Even if you have a chance to be with him, ... (read in full...)
I like them when I start dating but then I really start to dislike the guy!
Q. Hi friends, one problem i have is that when i meet a guy...i will be fascinated by his looks and all but when we start dating, i begin to really dislike him and begin to give excuses and we will end up seperating. pls how do i treat this? Can i ever ...
A. 17 February 2013: The purpose of dating is to find out if you like the guy enough to look past his flaws. When you are young you can afford to be discriminating. It just means you won't get married and stuck with a guy you don't like. You can call yourself picky but ... (read in full...)
Why do we hurt the ones we truly love?
Q. I always find myself wondering about love. What love is, how it can be given to you, who chooses to love who, why it exists, when will it come, when will it go, where one anothers eye meet. People take love for granted sometimes... Cruel peopl...
A. 17 February 2013: I want to focus on a normal relationship without abuse and psychotic behavior. Abusers don't truly love in a sense that we understand. We hurt in love because we let relationships define who we are. A partner confirms our existense and importance in ... (read in full...)
How can I get past this doubt in my heart that she's being faithful?
Q. I've heard some rumors about my girlfriend from a friend of mines on campus. He says that someone he knows has been saying he and my girlfriend had a thing a few months back. We're weren't a couple back then so naturally this was something that ...
A. 17 February 2013: You were not accusing her of doing something behind your back. You were simply asking if her and that guy had a thing before you dated. Her strong reaction to that is telling you to stop looking into it, and stop questioning why your relationship is ... (read in full...)
Frustrated that online guys only want sex.
Q. I am extremely frustrated in my dating life! I seem to be attracting guys who are just interested in me for sex. I am not sure what it is, it could possibly just be my ethnicity. I do not dress scantily, or act flirtatiously or inappropriately. When ...
A. 17 February 2013: I know you looked for real people, not just online too. That's why I am staying single for now. Spending money on babysitter to date and then weed out many guys is simply not economical for me. I would rather save up for my own pleasure.
I am sure... (read in full...)
My parents will never let me marry a man of my choice
Q. My parents are very traditional and believe rather have imposed this one me that I should get married to the man of their choice! I have spoken to them about it and they give a deaf ear!I am here to ask you I'm currently single but if I'm in love ...
A. 17 February 2013: I am not totally against arranged marriage but to this day and where you live, it is not so practical. You either make up your mind that you will follow your culture, or you go against it from day one. You don't fall in love then have this internal ... (read in full...)
Don't want to care what people think, but I do, what should I do?
Q. Hi Agony Aunts, I'm a 17 year old girl, and I've recently got talking to a boy. He's lovely and hilarious, and I'm really beginning to like him. But there's a problem; he's autistic. See, this isn't a problem to me, I really COULD NOT CARE LES...
A. 16 February 2013: I am assuming the horrible judgmental people are not strangers you see in the mall but actually your family and friends from school. You can date him first and see if there is potential. You only tell your folks when you consider him as a long term ... (read in full...)
Why did my crush lie about the school he went to?
Q. Why would he do that? Is he playing games? So I was talking to my crush and he was asking about my birthday and talking about star signs (shocking, I didn't know guys cared about star signs). He's older than me so he asked what college I w...
A. 15 February 2013: It's possible he didn't lie. He could have gone to your school but transferred later. You can talk about your experience in college and see what he has to say. If he really went to your school he should be able to relate things that are familiar to ... (read in full...)
Why would my husband say that sex isn't fun?
Q. I really enjoy personal time with my husband. Especially when it leads to making love. I'm the kind of girl who would be just fine with doing that every day with him. I thought he enjoyed it too, but today after showering together I asked him if we ...
A. 14 February 2013: I think you have to come here because he won't be straight forward with you. It's not normal for a man to complain about a wife wanting sex with him every day. When a man is in love with his wife, he will be happy as long as she is happy. All that ... (read in full...)
I feel stuck, lonely and worthless... any words of encouragement or advice?
Q. I feel terribly lonely and sad. I feel unloved. And like people underestimate me. I can't help but look back at when I was in high school and was rejected by every guy I liked, and also no guys liked me, ever. I wasn't popular, I was shy. I had a ...
A. 13 February 2013: The first thing to do is to break up with your boyfriend. Don't celebrate Valentine's with him. When you do that you win half the battle and can make room for a new person. You are stuck in a stale environment with constant reminders of how you are ... (read in full...)
I'm not sure about my feelings for this girl
Q. Hi everyone, i know this might be a bit long, just bear with me please. Ok the thing is that i dont know how i feel towards a girl, i dont really know how to really explain that, so i wil just start at the beggining. So last semester (about 7 m...
A. 13 February 2013: When it comes to romance it is very clear cut, you either feel it or you don't. What's hard to explain is the subconscious things that need to meet your criteria in order for you to be attracted to a person. She doesn't have those although she will ... (read in full...)
I honestly can't envision a future where its not me carrying the bulk of the load. What do you advise I do?
Q. I've been in this relationship for about a year. We were together for like two months, before I broke it off, and then maybe half a year passed before we got back together, which is where we are now. Its not all bad things that I have to say abou...
A. 12 February 2013: You still care for her as a friend but you lost love for her. You have high expectations and she just wants to stay young and carefree for a longer time. She is taking you for granted. For her to appreciate you a certain maturity is needed. Working ... (read in full...)
We are fighting over our on and off sex drive
Q. My girlfriend and I have gotten in alot of fights over sex. We used to do something every night but now its maybe once or twice? She wouldn't be turned on and I wouldn't be turned on as well. We got in a fight once a really bad fight. She told me ...
A. 12 February 2013: Once or twice a week?
I saw your name somewhere, looked it up. You were the guy talking about abandonment fears.
I don't think the issue is sex but the tension that's there when you obsess over every small thing that could go wrong. In order to... (read in full...)
Is it worth staying in a relationship when its difficult to get along?
Q. I have been going out with my boyfriend for a solid 9 months. He is older than me. I am 18 and he is 27. HE is an illegal immigrant and he has a 1 year old daughter with his ex. I found out about his daughter and literatly unbalanced ex 2 months ...
A. 12 February 2013: I wonder where these people live. I suppose the baby is American, and you were with him right after the baby was born? It's wrong to make him leave his daughter. He is not going to pay child support because illegal immigrants don't have SSNs. There ... (read in full...)
Jealousy and Obsession about Girlfriend Sexual Past with HER male best friend
Q. Hello. I'm 30 years old and I have a girlfriend (she's 29). We started dating about 11 months now. I already knew her but I had never talked to her until we started and felt in love and start a relationship. I love her deeply like never before (...
A. 12 February 2013: I am guessing this is the first real relationship you've had and you are surprised by these jealous feelings you have. With the 30 girls you had you probably asked them about pasts too. But for this one it bothered you because you are considering ... (read in full...)
How will I ever find a nice guy to date with all this crap that people are led to believe from advertising?
Q. Sorry if this seems like a rant, but honestly, I'm just so upset/angry. I'm not exactly the biggest fan of men, just because I'm friends with men, so I hear all of the "Oh, my girlfriend is hot.. OMG that girl over there would so get it!" constan...
A. 12 February 2013: Advertisements are propaganda. They trigger you the sense of instant gratification to make you want to buy the product. They don't care if that fat guy is going to have a long term relationship with that model. The ad theme also has to be outrageous ... (read in full...)
I'm getting mixed signals from ex
Q. So, me and this girl broke up about 9 months ago. I've met and dated other people, lived my life in the meantime. Yet I can't get over her, my mind keeps going back. We still meet every now and again and get along great. People who don't kn...
A. 12 February 2013: She can't make a guarantee that she will date you again in the future. She doesn't want you to have false hope because it is unfair to lead you on. She is giving you the message that if you can't wait she has no problems if you move on. I think ... (read in full...)
Is love enough? Will we hurt our families too much if we try to be together?
Q. My husband was a pastor, had 1 emotional affair another affair that was physical, I also had some affairs as well. He's wanting to make the marriage work, but I'm not. I met a man and he's in a bad marriage as well, we both have older children, but ...
A. 12 February 2013: Wow. Two pastors in bad marriages.
You want a divorce but you shouldn't assume the other pastor wants the same thing. I don't know how religious you are but I assume it is very unlikely that a pastor would get a divorce. If I were the other past... (read in full...)
Am I overreacting about his annoying habit of 'liking' his female Facebook friends' photos?
Q. I've been going out with my boyfriend for a few months now but we've known each other for years and everything is great except there is one small thing that's annoying me... He likes a lot of his female Facebook friend's photos. They vary in c...
A. 12 February 2013: He doesn't have to cheat on you or the girls taking it the wrong way for you to find it annoying. It is a habit that most mature adults grow out of. There are many hobbies to choose from. Ideally a boyfriend would pick something that both of you ... (read in full...)
I lost my virginity to him, but now it seems he's ready to move on. Do you think he is breaking up with me?
Q. My boyfriend and dated for two and half months. I loved him and thought he loved me and I lost my virginity to him the second month and three weeks later he sends me a message saying he hasn't been feeling hisself lately and that he is overwhelmed ...
A. 11 February 2013: Some people need a break from each other when they have been with each other for too long but you have only been dating for two and a half months he's already had enough. It looks like he will do this every few months. Do you spend too much time ... (read in full...)
Is he worth my time, he is sending me mixed signals and driving me mad!
Q. So basically, I've been seeing this guy (let's call him C) for 2 and a half months now, I've been keeping count! I don't know about anyone else, but I think 2 and half months is a while to be "seeing" someone and acting like a couple in public and ...
A. 10 February 2013: I also had an situation where my ex introduced me to his family as girlfriend, then broke a week later, only because I told him it would be rude for him to go out to a store, leaving my son, and my dad at the hotel when we had a big family dinner 30 ... (read in full...)
Online dating -- I'm an idiot...
Q. I met a man online, I haven't dated for a while by choice...but we seemed to have a lot in common. I spoke to him via the site for a while and then we moved on to phone and text and we texted back and forth all day everyday. We agreed to meet and ...
A. 10 February 2013: Most people know how to have a great first date. I would not put so much emphasis on the mistake of putting out too soon. You and him may not be a good match. Unfortunately there is never a good etiquette in breaking things off. The day to day ... (read in full...)
Did he really break up because he has to wait for texts?
Q. My boyfriend of 6 months dumped me because he said I don't care about him as much as he cares about me, he always waits for me to text, etc. but I don't and it's tearing him apart. But I don't get that? I showed him I loved him in a multitud...
A. 10 February 2013: It is a reason for a borderline controlling person to break up. He has a lot of pain and insecurity inside and wants to take you with him. Your love will never be enough for him. So look at this break up as an emancipation. ... (read in full...)
Does my ex still have feelings for me?
Q. Does my ex still have feelings for me?. I saw him in a pub yesterday. I was in the pub with my mum. He looked at me a few times . I was nervous about going over to speak to him at first, even though we have had a chat before when we have bumped into ...
A. 10 February 2013: It's better to leave him as an ex. If you keep in touch with him, you will wonder what it will be like to rekindle things with him. He does have some feelings for you but what kind it is. Some men have known to "try things out", regretted making a ... (read in full...)
He's 12 years older and divorced. He was my lecturer. Could we make this work?
Q. Hi, thanks for those who answer my question in advance. Following is the brief intro about the man with whom i have affair. currently i am doing MBA. i met this guy during my year, because he is my lecturer.he taught me one subject,and i ...
A. 10 February 2013: Divorced people don't have a lot of stigma here. Things fall apart and they can both be good people, just not in a marriage. I do think that it works better for single parents to hook up with another. When you are young you should try finding a ... (read in full...)
There's Chemistry. But it's complicated as he owes me money he promised to pay. How do I sort this out? And remain friends?
Q. I'l try keep it short. Theres a guy at college who I met when i started there, it was instant chemistry on both sides, constant flirting etc. We finally went out for dinner a few months later, and we had such an amazing time. we go on so well, ...
A. 10 February 2013: It's very odd that he promised to repay you via bank transfer. Is it too much trouble to withdraw money from a bank, or treat you dinner at another time? Possibility is that he is either really broke or he got a free meal from you but did not want ... (read in full...)
Struggling with my soon-to-be ex husband.
Q. I'm trying to not hate my STBXH, but he's making it very difficult. We have a 2 year old and it's very clear that he is not STBXH top priority. While we were together, STBXH was almost never sick, and now,seems like every weekend he's supposed to...
A. 10 February 2013: Sorry I don't know what working from home means. In my province if you are a single mom and work full time you pay much less in daycare than if you were still married and work part time only. I don't like the idea of putting my son at daycare all ... (read in full...)
How can I break up with this guy without it being too hard on him? Is there any proper etiquette for this?
Q. I got into a relationship too quickly with a guy. At first everything was fun and fine but the longer I know him, the more I realize that there are just too many red flags (our differences in personality/lifestyle/interests) but I realize that he is ...
A. 9 February 2013: Just keep it brief. Tell him you are too different to work out and you don't like how he is controlling you. You are very sure that you won't be happy in the long run. In my opinion it is okay to do it over the phone. Wish him well and then don't ... (read in full...)
Is this normal for a couple to have a sexual relationship in this way? And am I turning gay?
Q. HI I have this question that I hope will not be taken the wrong way. My wife and I don't have sex very often but she watches me masturbate myself. It's come to the point that I like to masturbate in front of her rather than have sex. When I'm r...
A. 9 February 2013: You are watching the action of a man enjoying himself, or a woman giving him a handjob. I doubt you would like watching a man masturbating another man, or you yourself desiring touching another man's penis. Nothing can turn you gay unless you were ... (read in full...)
Why didn't he tell me about this close female friend of his? Why has he saved hundreds of emails? And why is he buying this woman gifts that I don't even know about?
Q. I don't know if I'm overreacting or not... I hope someone can help me clear this up in my head. I have discovered that my husband of less than a year has a close female friend that until the other day, I did not know about. I found out when he left ...
A. 9 February 2013: He is cheating on you, already in less than a year. You have to prepare yourself for a divorce. It's normal to overreact to this. I am not sure if he's a close female friend he had known for years or a mistress who doesn't know he is married. He ... (read in full...)
New town. His town. How do I overcome problems with making friends with my partner's buddies? They don't seem to like me
Q. I've been with my partner for two years. He was unhappy in the town we lived in (where we met) so I agreed to move with him back to the town he lived in previously, where he has lots of friends and was happier. I am freelance and work from home s...
A. 9 February 2013: You compromised and made the move. Your boyfriend has to include you in his group. If his friends are not too busy to socialize with him, they shouldn't be too busy to get to know you too. Surely your boyfriend does not want you to feel lonely like ... (read in full...)
Two women that I both care for know nothing about the other. I don't want to hurt either of them
Q. I am in a very complicated situation. I have dated this girl on and off for 18 months and when things go well, the relationship is awesome. But unfortunately, it was a very tumultuous relationship that had several arguments and breakups. It was very ...
A. 8 February 2013: One is an ex. The other is a recovering drug addict/new roommate. Neither has to learn about the other. Tell your ex that you will keep in touch but you are not ready for a relationship yet. Tell your new roommate that the living situation is ... (read in full...)
Why Do My Boyfriends Always Leave Me?
Q. Why Do My Boyfriends Always Leave Me? My boyfriends ALWAYS leave me, and I have no idea why. It's starts out all love and lollipops and then BOOM, gone. I'm pretty (objectively), and it's like they date me for that firstly and then get in...
A. 8 February 2013: The "ideal girlfriend" responds to the London/Rome/Madrid trip with, "Oooooh! that's a brilliant idea. We are going to have so much fun." Problem is, you are sick of acting. You are angry with not them not reciprocating so you have had enough with ... (read in full...)
It seems like I'm the one doing all the chasing
Q. I met a lad who's three years younger than me in September last year, and we hit it off right away. We found that we have lots in common; some things freakishly in common (our mums have the same birthday), which only led to strengthen our ...
A. 8 February 2013: The only things you have in common, being each others' firsts, mums having same birthdays, are not very practical things that are essential in a relationship. I imagine when I was 23, 24, a 19 year old would not have the same mindset as me. It's a ... (read in full...)
A confused girl, an unhealthy obsession, and feeling helpless.
Q. I am a college student. A year ago I met this spectacular person. We both have the same - erm - learning disabilities, spectral disorders, and share a TON of the same habits in that we have them, and express them in the exact same way, to the ...
A. 8 February 2013: I am not sure how your friend is leading her on. I would imagine him trying to experiment a relationship with a girl. This guy wants to be friends with you to lessen the guilt of stealing your girlfriend. More accurately your ex pursued him.
Y... (read in full...)
After five months he broke up with me, for doing all the things I thought made me a perfect girl friend. What did I do wrong?
Q. Basically ever since I was younger I've always had this preconception of guys as hard and unfeeling and only wanting sex. So when I picked a boyfriend, I picked one who wouldn't be emotional or sensitive or want me to open myself up, nor one that...
A. 7 February 2013: Men want to be rewarded for their effort. When all you give them is sex they won't be thrilled because sex is everywhere and valueless. Men have a built in desire to protect and nurture, not just spread their seeds. Even a bad boy wants a woman to ... (read in full...)
Where is this relationship going? I think her feelings may be more serious than mine. Nor sure what to do?
Q. Been with my girlfriend for about 9 months now, first few months didn't really count as we started dating towards the end of the uni year, then I went travelling over summer, and we live in different areas but still spoke frequently and met up when ...
A. 7 February 2013: She doesn't know you don't want more so you have to tell her now. It may take you 10 more years to want to settle down but it sounds like she wants to get married as soon as she graduates. Tell her about wanting to go slow, then she can decide if ... (read in full...)
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