A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Recently I have been thinking that there might be a better guy out there for me than my current boyfriend but I don't know if my expectations are too high? We get on well most of the time and I do feel that I love him, but I don't feel like there is a great connection or real passion between us. Should there be? Or have I just been watching too many romantic comedies and now I can't recognise a good thing when I have it? Thanks!
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (14 January 2013):
 if you do not feel that you are the most important person in his life and that he would not defend and protect you, then maybe you do need to end it.
My husband is a jerk but I know he's got my back. Personally for me, I'm fairly independent and don't need a man as a protector or defender... but if you do, then you know what's important to you.
for me, what's important is,
he's smart
he makes me laugh
he loves me despite of (or maybe because of) my faults.
he's trustworthy... I know he would never lie to me or deceive me
I know when push comes to shove, he takes care of me 100%
would he defend me if he thought I was wrong? probably not... but ya know what, I can defend myself thank you very much. so it's worth it to me to be with him.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2013): I dumped my ex because I didn't feel he had enough passion for me in a sexual way. Is that similar?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2013): Thanks everyone. I suppose maybe people are thinking I want someone with movie star good looks and who is perfect but it's honestly not about that. It's less about how I want him to be, and much more about how I want to feel when I'm with him. I want to feel like I'm the most important person to him and that he'd always have my back, but at the moment I don't feel like that...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2013): Sounds to me like your settling? Movies do amp it up a bit, but I don't think you're expecting too much by wanting passion and a connection. I think the people who say that the passion only lasts in the courting stages are just settling, I've been with my partner for 4 years, we have a child together, spend most of the day, everyday together, yet we're still like two love-sick teenagers, we have an amazing connection and loads of passion. I think everyone should have what we have. It is out there for you :)
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A
male
reader, anon_e_mouse +, writes (13 January 2013):
 Hollywood films are not the right thing to draw comparisons against when it comes to relationships. They're full of rubbish. No wonder most guys don't know anything about women.
At the end of the day there is only way to sort this out; are you happy? Do you love him? NOT do you care for him. Do you LOVE him?
From what you say; "I do feel that I love him, but I don't feel there is a great connection" says to me he's on his way out and you're losing interest. If you're wondering is there might be a better guy out there for you then that speaks volumes. If you were truly happy and loved your boyfriend then you wouldn't even be thinking "what else is out there?".
That's my take anyway. Popular or not.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (13 January 2013):
 The classical struggle: passion vs practicality. The stories in rom coms only cover the courting stages and the obstacles they go through. The real story happens after the story ends and the curtain rows down. In reality if a guy with 6 pack muscles write you poems and cooks you dinner every single night, you would wonder if something is wrong with him.
You can learn something new together, try different recipes, amp up your sex life, join a dancing class, etc.
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