A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey dear cupids! I have an issue. Basically it's coming up to my birthday and I have organised a meal out with my close friends. I have been contacting this girl for a while now asking about whether or not she's coming and i have been waiting for people to contact me so i can get a decent idea of numbers. Anyways she failed to reply all of the times i contacted about this.... she then contacts after like 3-4 days saying she's been busy with uni and work.... I'm in Uni also and i work and i've found time to contact my friends. Anyways still avoided me asking her about whether she's coming., She asked if i wanted to go to a gym class so i said sure sounds good and stuff, i never heard anything for a while again after that contact i then asked her about how much the class was etc and previously about other general stuff.... nothing! So i decided fine i'll book off what i know the numbers are for definite and add a few extra incase she decides to let me know. So i contacted her before i rung saying i needed to know numbers i was going to try and book still nothing this is after 3-4 days or so again so i contacted her the time and date of the meal again nothing..... she then contacted me yesterday all it was, was a picture of a children in need thing we done back in college then later again at about ten to midnight she asked if i was going to the gym class still nothing on my birthday. Oh i forgot to mention she invited me to a meal on the saturday just going but i had been working and got in and felt quite under the weather so i didn't go but said we could do something instead she then replied saying she was skint and couldn't come with me for a coffee or to town. I got a bit miffed then i said well we can still hang out but something that doesn't require money again nothing...... until last night. She then contacted me again earlier about the class my boyfriend suggested i leave it as it seems she only wants to contact me when it's for her rather than me. I have turned off my phone but i feel quite guilty and sad and i thought maybe i should have said to her why i wasn't going i mean i'm not feeling great today as it's time of the month so didn't fancy going to a class just wanted to chill. Do you think i am wrong for ignoring her and do you think that maybe she's avoiding me for some reason?Please any feedback would be great i'm losing my mind!Thanks!
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you both for your responses, I will have to think it through because a lot of what you have both said makes sense and is making me wonder.But thank you again.
A
female
reader, Dayzy  +, writes (16 January 2013):
Answer this. How does this relationship affect your self esteem. I bet it makes you question your value as a person and a friend. Do yourself a favour and move on. You sound like a giver, which means you may be attracting takers. Try and foster friendships where others also contribute to makingthe friendship work. You deserve better than the crumbs this girl is throwing at you.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (15 January 2013):
 You can't count her as a close friend. When she ignores your reply it's suggesting that she doesn't want to come but feels bad saying no to you. She's trying to make it up by inviting you to other things. It's like an empty gesture and she doesn't really care if you could attend. Deep down she probably hoped that it wouldn't work out with you. It could have been clearer if she just told you she doesn't look at you as a friend. Do you see how difficult it is to say this in your face? She is not worth you losing your mind. Some people are just weird. At the same time understand that if she can't enjoy your party there's really no point going.
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