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... Send *anniepeg a private message | | | *anniepeg's profile:I am 34, married a second time. My son is 9 years old and 2 cats. He keeps me busy. My hobbies are movies, recreational games like xbox games, darts, badminton and dear cupid of course. I used to play the piano but stopped. I have been here for 6 years. Every year I see myself change. Every day is a surprise, an opportunity for growth while some days are just coasting along wondering what the point is. My relationship views are a mix of traditional values and modern, open minded ones. I still believe in long term monogamy as it feels right to me. Other than that I feel there are too many rules in a relationship that I would like to get rid of. Dearcupid is a source of my learning about relationships. I am too young to form a conclusion of what love is. I guess I will grow old with this site.
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One of my husband's employees kissed me at a party at a party. Could I be sending the wrong signals to this man?
Q. My husband and I run a small tour company...we have 10 employees. One of our employees lives pretty far away so when he has to work weekends he sometimes stays at our house. Last night we had a party and he agreed to help out with the cleanin...
A. 13 January 2013: Tell your husband. If you don't then you are indeed giving the wrong signals to that younger guy that kissing you is okay. Let your husband be the man and handle it. Ask your husband to give him another chance, like a warning since he was drunk. ... (read in full...)
Is her reluctance to explore much during love making due to fact she's done all that earlier? It's confusing me. Am I being too reactive?
Q. I'm 24 and recently engaged to very wonderful woman. I am bothered by the fact that she has had a lot more sexual partners than I have, but she won't ever tell me how many. She is from a small town and when we go visit we often run into guys sh...
A. 13 January 2013: My other guess is that some people can't feel sexual with their ones they love. Casual sex is fine but with a husband figure there is too much exposure and vulnerability. It is like the reverse of the cassanova complex, like seeing men either as ... (read in full...)
Is her reluctance to explore much during love making due to fact she's done all that earlier? It's confusing me. Am I being too reactive?
Q. I'm 24 and recently engaged to very wonderful woman. I am bothered by the fact that she has had a lot more sexual partners than I have, but she won't ever tell me how many. She is from a small town and when we go visit we often run into guys sh...
A. 13 January 2013: I will attempt at another guess. Her number of sexual lovers is quite high. One would think that she is wild and kinky but it's quite the opposite. Now I don't think she is bored with experimenting. She is just turned off with the idea of sex ... (read in full...)
Why do I get so angry with my boyfriend and say things I don't mean?
Q. Why do I get so mad at my boyfriend for no reason and say such hurtful things to him that I dont mean? I love him with all my heart I dont want to push him away from me. I can't seem to control my mouth when I get mad. He's really getting f...
A. 12 January 2013: Your boyfriend probably did something that triggered your anger. You overreacted and your anger helped you feel in control of your strong emotions. Most of the times nice people with good intentions have no wish to anger you. The trick is to be ... (read in full...)
I told my friend I have strong feelings for him and his reaction was of shock and confusion. Did I misread the signals?
Q. So-- it has finally come to the point in my life where I must go to the Internet for advice. My situation is just too confusing for me to deal with-- and I just need some help. Here's the story as short as it can be put: My friend and I have been ...
A. 12 January 2013: His signals were confusing because he seemed to be saying the right things but they are not sincere.
He is gay but was pressured by family and friends to get married some day and he was you as a target. He felt guilty for leading you on but at the ... (read in full...)
My GF doesn't want to lose her virginity until we're married, but that won't be for 10 years! What can we do?
Q. I have been together with my girlfriend for nearly a year. We both never had sex, we only experimented with foreplay etc.(Basically everything but just the most vital part, sex) She told me she will only be willing to do that once we get m...
A. 12 January 2013: If you decide to wait 10 years, then if for whatever reason the marriage does not work out you can't go back and say you regretted wasting those 10 years. There is no way we can tell you if this girl is worth it. I don't know what religion you ... (read in full...)
Since I split from my boyfriend, I feel I have no one who loves me. Finding it hard to cope.
Q. Hey everyone Me and my boyfriend decided to split up because we barely see each other and my guardian won't let me go to his house, but he can come over, and sometime we go to the movies. I don't have a Job and he don't have a job neither so it...
A. 12 January 2013: You need something that's constant in your life, not people who come and go and reinforce the idea that you can't get what you want. I suggest volunteering. It is a fact that there are always needy people. You get confidence interacting with ... (read in full...)
Is her reluctance to explore much during love making due to fact she's done all that earlier? It's confusing me. Am I being too reactive?
Q. I'm 24 and recently engaged to very wonderful woman. I am bothered by the fact that she has had a lot more sexual partners than I have, but she won't ever tell me how many. She is from a small town and when we go visit we often run into guys sh...
A. 12 January 2013: My first response is for people who are vanilla. You are inexperienced, so you don't know if you have a kinky streak and now you want to test that out with your fiancee. I wouldn't tell you, you should have known by now what your preference is, but ... (read in full...)
Is the timing just wrong for us to be together? Do I keep pursuing her?
Q. Greetings Everyone, So here's lies my issue and I hope someone has gone through a similar thing. My girlfriend and I had been dating for roughly 7 months. The relationship was really great, we got along wonderfully, and seemed to click fast. We...
A. 12 January 2013: I wonder if it's work which called upon her, or her boss. She sounds like a workaholic. She is going to continually work 13 hours a day, probably for more than a year. She does not know if she an keep this vow. You have to be honest with yourself, ... (read in full...)
Is her reluctance to explore much during love making due to fact she's done all that earlier? It's confusing me. Am I being too reactive?
Q. I'm 24 and recently engaged to very wonderful woman. I am bothered by the fact that she has had a lot more sexual partners than I have, but she won't ever tell me how many. She is from a small town and when we go visit we often run into guys sh...
A. 12 January 2013: Her reluctance to explore is due to her sexual preferences. You decide if it's a deal breaker if she won't do the things she wants. Asking her about the past is not going to make her want to do it with you more.
This is not an innocent yes or no q... (read in full...)
How I can get him to stop watching AS MUCH porn? It troubled me.
Q. My boyfriend and I both turn 23 next month (interesting, I know) and we've been together for a notch over 2.5 years. We used to have discussions that turned into arguments about the fact that he is my third sexual partner (my second was a one nigh...
A. 12 January 2013: The problem is not porn. It's him wanting to make the impossible acts a reality within a relationship. If he can't care about your feelings then he is too immature to have a relationship. Tell him he to become a porn actor so he gets paid doing what ... (read in full...)
He wont move out of his mother's house despite being in his mid 30's, is this a subtle message telling me I'm not enough for him?
Q. In a long distance relationship. My love is in his mid 30s. Due to a family tragedy, he has had to live with his mother. Problem is, it's now a couple of years after the tragedy and still lives with mom. I want him to be with me so we can start ...
A. 11 January 2013: I can be sure it's not about you. If he does not have a stable job how can he think about moving? Unless you love him enough to move in with him and take care of his mom together.... (read in full...)
I'm realizing that I'm clingy, needy and selfish. What can I do about the state of my current relationship?
Q. I'm 36 and didn't realize that I was clingy and needy and selfish to my own needs until January 3rd 2013. I've been like this for as long as I can remember (needy and clingy)and never realized it until my boyfriend and I started having some serious ...
A. 11 January 2013: He's not saying "go home" because that would expose how stupid he was to let you come all the way there just to be cold to you. He was flattered by your effort, but he was the one not thinking for you. He's the one who wants to talk about his class. ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my ex that I'm going to sleep with his room mate?
Q. My ex and I had kind of a terrible breakup. The issue was that he refused to cuddle with me at all and if I tried to touch him, he would recoil and physically shove me away, which made me feel really bad about myself. He also seemed to enjoy the ...
A. 11 January 2013: You are speaking mostly from the mean side of you. If you tell him this there will be 4 kinds of responses. 1. Great! Have fun. 2. Are you telling me this to anger me? 3. Soooooo?! 4. How can you do this to me you slut? You have to prepare that the ... (read in full...)
How can a man be so cold as to cut contact with his own son and then make a family with a child that isn't his?
Q. Please can somebody explain this to me... a few years ago when my son was 4. his father decided to cut contact. He pays money each month through the csa but doesn't have any contact with him. his girlfriend has a baby nephew and she is postin...
A. 10 January 2013: He can't do full time dad. It's too suffocating and it drains him. He believes being no dad is better than half ass dad. He wants his child to forget his existence rather than to miss him when daddy can't be there. However, being an uncle it's okay ... (read in full...)
Does he have a mental disorder?
Q. Hello, this might seem a bit random but i'm just wondering if anyone has experienced anything like this? My boyfriend is like no one i've ever met before, hes 21 near 22 we have been together for near 2 years and ive known him for 10. He has su...
A. 10 January 2013: He does sound like Asperger's. People can have traits, but they need to have enough to qualify for an official diagnosis. That doesn't mean a person who scores 69, one point below the cut off point, is normal and does not need help with social ... (read in full...)
How could he go from telling me he loved me to nothing?
Q. I am in my 3rd year of college and just broke up with my 2nd serious boyfriend. We met thru friends and felt like we'd known each other forever. We went on dates for only 8 days and decided to make it official. I had heard alot about him through ...
A. 10 January 2013: He found that he could not give up his partying, drinking smoking life style for love, even for the most perfect woman. He assumes most people would think he did not love you enough to change. The fact is one can only change for himself and nobody ... (read in full...)
I'm realizing that I'm clingy, needy and selfish. What can I do about the state of my current relationship?
Q. I'm 36 and didn't realize that I was clingy and needy and selfish to my own needs until January 3rd 2013. I've been like this for as long as I can remember (needy and clingy)and never realized it until my boyfriend and I started having some serious ...
A. 9 January 2013: It is not wrong to have needs. We are as needy as our unmet needs. He is mourning for his wife, and he is in no way ready to have another relationship because he can't devote to anyone right now. His job also requires him to travel. Despite your ... (read in full...)
My partner uses sex like he is in control of a game
Q. Why doesn't he want a intimate relationship. My partner and I have been back together for 7 months. We have never had a active sex life but did manage one of twice a month maybe but it's been almost 3 months and he shows no interest in me sexually ...
A. 9 January 2013: You said it, you are not loving towards each other, he rations sex like he is drip feeding you. Why would someone feel affectionate towards a person you no longer love? Did you get back together for convenience so that you are closer to the ... (read in full...)
I gave up my job, my apartment for him but his controlling wife won't let him go
Q. Since 2 years I am in a relationship with a man. After a while I found out that he is married and has a 9 years old daughter. We were leaving in different countries and he didnt tell me from the start that he is married and has a kid. His marriage...
A. 9 January 2013: The problem is not the mother but the so called boyfriend who lied to you. If I were you I would not have anything to do with a liar with so much baggage. I would not advise you to marry this guy after his divorce, if that's the only way you can ... (read in full...)
Does being "up front" about wanting a FWB relationship means you are now a "decent" human being?
Q. Why is it that men (and women) think that just because, they are being "honest" about wanting a FWB type of relationship in the beginning, that they are somehow a "decent" and upstanding human being? For instance, if someone who was going to rob...
A. 9 January 2013: I don't think of them as great beings to be adored, but I don't think they are indecent by being honest about their needs, and what they can afford to offer. FWBs are different from a robbery because while you can say no to an FWB, a robber grabs ... (read in full...)
Serious Anger issues. Does she really love me? Or is she just playing games?
Q. Need some serious help from you cupid experts so i hope i can try make this short. recent behavior from my gf is worrying me, or maybe its 'affirming' my intuition about what women really want and what there true agenda is. Basically me gf's...
A. 9 January 2013: Living with her is like being in a bootcamp and training you to be the most compliant, loyal, and perfect boyfriend. When you fall short of her expectations, she "punishes" you by talking to other guys, hitting you and destroying your things. When ... (read in full...)
Am I thinking too far ahead? Would Western parents accept a large age gap if their daughter married a man 10 years older?
Q. I am in Australia but am not a westerner. I like a girl 10 years younger than me,she is 18 years old. I think she also likes me. But I am not sure.Is it possible because of age different she might be thinking the less possibility of marriage. Does w...
A. 9 January 2013: An 18 year old would be thinking about school and career, not family and kids. You are at different stages in your lives. You are thinking too far ahead because you only like her, you don't even know if she wants to date you. However some western ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend has not treated me right since he discovered I had a one night stand before dating him. Do I end things?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for a few years and we are getting married soon. At the beginning, he was really sweet, caring and understanding. The kind of guy that I have always wished for. However, one day, I told him that I had an one ...
A. 9 January 2013: It depends on where you are. In Mali, a 15 year old girl got 60 whips for talking to an adult male on the street. In a country that's 100% Muslim, I would say 100% of men have RJ.
On the other extreme, in the islands of Polynesia, polygamy is the ... (read in full...)
I think my crush hates me
Q. well, in primary school, now that i think of it, my crush really really really liked me. we don't go to the same high school now, but we kept in contact on facebook a year later, we used to talk,it would be smileys and hi's and stuff like that. now ...
A. 9 January 2013: In primary school, relationships between boys and girls are very innocent and easy going. The awkwardness comes in when puberty hits. Usually girls mature faster than boys. You went to different schools and grew apart. Some people don't see a point ... (read in full...)
My husband's depression and withdrawal caused us to drift apart, see others. Is it just time to end things?
Q. My life, I know, was needlessly complicated. I understand I made some very stupid decisions in my life and I am fairly certain they contributed to the lose of the love I actually treasured to preciously. (digestion version) I met him online and w...
A. 9 January 2013: You have no choice but to end it. He had been slowly checking out the first time he asked for an open relationship. He was hiding under his depression. He's able to have sex with strangers because they don't have to know him while being his wife his ... (read in full...)
He cheated, said it was over so why is her number still in his phone? And other women's too?
Q. My guy and I had been together off and on for 4 years over the phone and finally got together last year and he moved in with me. One day he asked me to marry him and of course I said yes and things were going great then about 5 months ago he cheated ...
A. 9 January 2013: You should let him go because he does not respect committment. He does not seem apologetic, is lying to your face, and does not even bother to cover up his tracks. He thinks it is okay to have one woman as a mother and a traditional home caretaker ... (read in full...)
When we have a fight no matter whose fault it is, b/f switches off his cell phone till I beg for forgiveness on facebook. I can't take this!
Q. Dear Cupid My bf of 2 years always switches off his mobile when we fight and make me suffer until I send him sorry msg to his Facebook account even when he started the fight and even when he's wrong He did it now too. I can't go thru this suffer...
A. 9 January 2013: He made it a public humiliation. He is a bully too. Unfriend him on facebook and never talk to him again. If you don't want suffering again you have to be strong and cut off contact with him. ... (read in full...)
Is my friend a jerk for making this disrespectful comment about his African American lover?
Q. This older guy who I am friends with, told me that if he ever got married in the future, he would never tell his wife that he had a sexual relationship with an African American woman because, she would look down on him and so would the entire ...
A. 9 January 2013: The definition of racism is believing a certain race is inferior to other races. When you decide not to date a certain race simply because you care about what other people think, you don't want to deal with dirty looks or gossips, then it is also a ... (read in full...)
Is there anything I can do to reduce my sex drive?
Q. Hello, I have a sex question. I've been with my boyfriend for a little over two months now, im 18 hes 25. And Lately he says all ive wnated to do is have sex, and i have. Im consantly "horny" when im around him, and when im not with him i thinkg a...
A. 8 January 2013: There's always masturbation and dildos. If you feel it is important to have him give you an orgasm, tell him to try oral. If he doesn't like oral, then fingering. When I advice people about sex drives, I always educate them about food. There is a ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend who cheated in the past is now almost perfect, but I can't get over the trust issues.
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for a year and a half now. It's never really felt and still to this day does not feel like a real relationship to me. Previously I've always had a very close connection with bfs, we've lived together from an early stage, ...
A. 8 January 2013: He is full of excuses and there is never a reason for cheating. He has not done everything thing in his power to gain your trust because he talked to his exes. He can't go both ways. If he said that you talking about your ex means he can cheat, him ... (read in full...)
Is my friend a jerk for making this disrespectful comment about his African American lover?
Q. This older guy who I am friends with, told me that if he ever got married in the future, he would never tell his wife that he had a sexual relationship with an African American woman because, she would look down on him and so would the entire ...
A. 8 January 2013: He is a jerk if he is not straightforward with this African American woman, that sex is all there is. He is not a jerk if he's honest at the beginning and she is happy with just sex. If he mentioned they are FWBs there is no need for an explanation ... (read in full...)
Why does my BF go quiet for a few days after we've had sex? Does this mean he only contacts me when he's horny?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for about 2.5 years now and he has a habit which upsets me quite a bit. A lot of the time when we have sex he goes very quiet for a couple of days afterwards. He will text me regularly and call every night beforehand ...
A. 8 January 2013: Maybe he is recharging his batteries and retrieving into men cave. You drained his testosterone levels and low testosterone is associated with depression and loss of manhood. A man who is starved of sexual affection gets worked up and irritable, ... (read in full...)
Why does my BF go quiet for a few days after we've had sex? Does this mean he only contacts me when he's horny?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for about 2.5 years now and he has a habit which upsets me quite a bit. A lot of the time when we have sex he goes very quiet for a couple of days afterwards. He will text me regularly and call every night beforehand ...
A. 7 January 2013: It would help if you have other activities outside too, where it allows him to be affectionate in other ways. If you are so busy that the only thing you share is sex, maybe put more priority on connecting and reigniting the fire. Ask him to not stop ... (read in full...)
Why is my boyfriend so convinced that my parents don't like him? How can I change this?
Q. My boyfriend is 25 and he is convinced my parents don't like him. This is not true - I have obviously spoken to them about him many times and they think he is great and said they have never seen me so happy. Based on past boyfriends they would ...
A. 7 January 2013: I think you already know the answer and just getting comfirmation here. He doesn't want to take the step towards a more serious relationship. Some parents are good at putting up a good front and smile, while some can't hide their animosity. If you ... (read in full...)
My BF of 7.5 years, father of our son, won't propose! I want us to be married, but he says he's not ready now.
Q. I am 29 years old and live with my boyfriend, who is 31 years old and we have been together for over 7 years. Together we have a son of 3 1/2 years old. We have lived together most of our relationship. We fell in love fast and knew immediately we ...
A. 6 January 2013: I look through that list and I think even after a few years where your careers are where it should be, you are still slim, your debts got cleared, he will still think of more reasons why marriage is not good. I feel he is just throwing a bunch of ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend is being evasive. Is he scared of change?
Q. When my husband left, my daughters and I were left with nothing. We had to start from scratch. I started dating my boyfriend 3 1/2 years ago, after my husband left. 6 months later he asked me to marry him when my divorce came thru. We are finally ...
A. 6 January 2013: 6 months is too soon to marry someone. He is apprehensive about the future but it's too late to backpeddle now as that would make him look like a jerk. Just tell him as much as you love him, you don't feel ready when there are no concrete plans ... (read in full...)
My relationship feels awesome, but I'm always expecting something bad to happen! How do I let go of these irrational fears?
Q. So, I have this little problem. About 6 months ago, I met a guy who I initially detested, in a science research station. He was gross to me, I hated everything about him, the way he looked, the things he was talking about, we had absolutely ...
A. 6 January 2013: I think there is a bigger chance that you will tell him later you don't like him anymore. We have our own set of preferences. It is not a negative thing that you saw things you didn't like in him. He was all you had and you got close and attached to ... (read in full...)
I went 'no contact' and he found somebody else!
Q. ok cutting a long story short as possible!!..the guy who i was chasing and then i decided to go no contact with..i recently heard from his 'friends' that he had met somebody else and that he was serious about her!!..(bearing in mind that he told me ...
A. 6 January 2013: You know what you want, but it feels better to say you are confused than to feel that you can't get what you want. His financial situation means there is more than manning up to do. Just becoming more responsible means he will try harder making more ... (read in full...)
Maybe I should just give up and accept I am single!
Q. I split up with my partner of 4 years over 7 years ago. I was 39 then and I shall be 46 soon. It was an unhealthy relationship. I had a brief relationship (6 months) about 7 months later, but nothing since then. I have been doing interne...
A. 6 January 2013: I am 32 and I am giving up for a year and I will see how I feel next year, or until my 7 year old son feels less attachment to me and become more independent. Now I am enjoying my son more.
I do see people on dating sites suggesting going on a vaca... (read in full...)
I went 'no contact' and he found somebody else!
Q. ok cutting a long story short as possible!!..the guy who i was chasing and then i decided to go no contact with..i recently heard from his 'friends' that he had met somebody else and that he was serious about her!!..(bearing in mind that he told me ...
A. 6 January 2013: He is not going to be single and regret what he did. He still needs women so he could continue being a commitment phobe. He needs to build the relationship up in order to run away from it. Confusing but true. No contact does not work for an ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend has not treated me right since he discovered I had a one night stand before dating him. Do I end things?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for a few years and we are getting married soon. At the beginning, he was really sweet, caring and understanding. The kind of guy that I have always wished for. However, one day, I told him that I had an one ...
A. 5 January 2013: If anything I think RJ is what most males evolve out of. Their species will be extinct in the western world if they keep on insisting getting virgins for mates, or ask potential mates about their past when they are dating.... (read in full...)
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