| Latest articles: Why is LYING about porn and HIDING it even worse than the porn itself?
This question has 37 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
21 September 2010: So from all the porn questions and answers on here, it seems many women think a guy's lying about his porn use and hiding it are actually WORSE than the porn itself. They cannot understand why anyone would lie about something like that and go behind ...
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The guy I met online..is he a girl trying to be a guy? If so, why?
Q. Hey, i met this guy online and he was different from other guys i mean he was cute and i really thought he loves me but when i started to talk to him on the phone his voice sounded like a girl's voice. Is that normal for a 17 year old guy? And he ...
A. 26 March 2012: It wouldn't be the first time a female has posed as a boy to lure a girl:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/07/07/patricia-dye-posed-as-14_n_638448.html
Once I met a "girl" in a chat room who minutes later confessed to being a guy using the na... (read in full...)
Porn related questions
Q. A few questions.... Are there any lucky women here whose partner does not watch/use porn? Did you have to tell them to stop? Did they lose interest naturally, how long did it take? Why is it so vital to men that they get to masturbate over...
A. 24 March 2012: For the record, I don't think habitual porn watching and long-term, monogamous relationships are fully compatible in most cases. The fact that DC even needs a "Pornography" section is testament to that. But this is largely due to people going ... (read in full...)
How do I get over my younger FWB?
Q. I have left my 19 year old FWB and now I miss him more then ever. I have gone in a depression mode. At first it was just all for sex and then i started having feelings for him. I want a relationship with him but he doesnt. I really dont think he ...
A. 14 March 2012: Wow... what a huge double standard we have here, with all the women saying what a creepy, lying douchebag this guy is, without knowing anything about him.
The OP is the adult here. The guy is a teen, practically a boy still. Yet somehow he took ... (read in full...)
I feel guilty about this. I can't discuss this with my parents, but can I just have one 'one night stand'?
Q. Hello Everyone, I have been bought up very distant from boys and because I went to a christian primary school think that I should only have sex with another virgin and this should be who I marry if it happens before I get married. But now I am 1...
A. 6 March 2012: Ditto what Deagan has said. I don't know what your hurry is. If you have a one-night stand and regret it, you can never take it back, it will always be a source of guilt. But you can always lose your virginity later, and you're still a looong way ... (read in full...)
Are there engagement rings for men?
Q. hello everyone seen as its a leap year next year I am planning on proposing to my bf of 2 years it will also be his birthday a few days later I'm just wondering if there are engagement rings for men. thanks all ...
A. 20 November 2011: Sure there's rings for men. The jewellery industry wouldn't pass up an opportunity like that.
"open a nice box with a cookie or cupcake in the shape of a diamond ring or something like that."
Yeah... I'm sure that would go over just great if a ... (read in full...)
I just don't want to be treated differently because of my gender
Q. hey all those who are there... im having a little issue with my partner at the moment... all my life i've been treated differently because i'm female and it really bugs me, i don't understand why all women are put under the same category like...
A. 20 November 2011: Who has more privilege? The one who can walk the streets without much fear of being accosted OR the one surrounded by people willing to rush to their defense if they are?
All I know is the people at the very top of society -- the Bill Gates, H... (read in full...)
My boyfriend can't stop masturbating to porn!
Q. Dear Cupid, So a while ago, my boyfriend confessed to watching porn and said he would stop. He thinks it's a bad thing. A teeny bit recently, i told him how i felt about it and he said "sorry for doing that" and promised he'd stop again. Then...
A. 19 November 2011: Look at the facts here:
1. Your bf confessed on his own to watching porn, without being asked
2. He thinks porn is a bad thing and was trying to stop on his own, without being asked
3. When he does do it, he's more or less truthful about i... (read in full...)
I just don't want to be treated differently because of my gender
Q. hey all those who are there... im having a little issue with my partner at the moment... all my life i've been treated differently because i'm female and it really bugs me, i don't understand why all women are put under the same category like...
A. 19 November 2011: If you make a huge deal out of it and really put your foot down, he should respect that and stop accompanying you. But that probably would be a mistake on your part. He's not trying to make you feel weak and helpless, he's trying to keep you safe. ... (read in full...)
A little primer on women and sex...
Q. A Primer on Women and Sex Look, we girls are funny. We don't sexually mature all overnight, our first sexual experiences are often painful, crappy and frankly unfulfilling on many levels. We don't know how to give blowjobs, most of us don't grow up ...
A. 12 November 2011: An article like this necessarily deals in generalizations. Many more young women today would probably vomit if offered traditional romance, or would get very impatient with a guy who took things slow. Just as there are men who are naturally patient, ... (read in full...)
Dangers of Porn
Q. I was listening to the recent case of Vincent Tabak who killed his neighbour after he had watched violent porn, particularly of men placing their hands around woman's throats and tying them up in the boot of a car!!! So what did he do, he strangled ...
A. 7 November 2011: If you don't know the meaning of "impartial," look it up. Ana Bridges spoke at the National Feminist Antipornography Conference, a fact you neglected to mention each time you quoted her. Maybe your other sources are just as suspect.
"88.2... (read in full...)
Dangers of Porn
Q. I was listening to the recent case of Vincent Tabak who killed his neighbour after he had watched violent porn, particularly of men placing their hands around woman's throats and tying them up in the boot of a car!!! So what did he do, he strangled ...
A. 5 November 2011: No one here fully buys your statistics because they sound so overblown and sensationalized -- like saying studies are 100-to-1 against porn... when what you meant was that most studies you've chosen to read and to promote as a feminist have said ... (read in full...)
Dangers of Porn
Q. I was listening to the recent case of Vincent Tabak who killed his neighbour after he had watched violent porn, particularly of men placing their hands around woman's throats and tying them up in the boot of a car!!! So what did he do, he strangled ...
A. 4 November 2011: Who's Warren Farrell?
No, I don't cite statistics. You're the expert at that. You'd probably rather deal with stats and studies than have to oppose Oprah.
There is no clear consensus on porn yet. The diversity of views on here reflects that. P... (read in full...)
Dangers of Porn
Q. I was listening to the recent case of Vincent Tabak who killed his neighbour after he had watched violent porn, particularly of men placing their hands around woman's throats and tying them up in the boot of a car!!! So what did he do, he strangled ...
A. 4 November 2011: We see here people believing what they want to believe -- accepting supposed facts that support their preconceived viewpoint and disregarding the rest. 7 people answered your question: 6 moderates and 1 extremist. The moderate majority either has ... (read in full...)
Dangers of Porn
Q. I was listening to the recent case of Vincent Tabak who killed his neighbour after he had watched violent porn, particularly of men placing their hands around woman's throats and tying them up in the boot of a car!!! So what did he do, he strangled ...
A. 2 November 2011: Some people just love their statistics. I suppose if you're a hardcore feminist who believes "all sex is rape," then you can come up with a number like 88.2% of all porn being "violent". (Sounds like the group against media violence which chose to ... (read in full...)
Dangers of Porn
Q. I was listening to the recent case of Vincent Tabak who killed his neighbour after he had watched violent porn, particularly of men placing their hands around woman's throats and tying them up in the boot of a car!!! So what did he do, he strangled ...
A. 1 November 2011: Anyone who would murder after watching a violent video must be pretty far gone to begin with. They may have lacked moral guidance or had violent parents, so all it takes is some imagery to inspire them to action.
I believe what this "Madame"... (read in full...)
My parents are disgusted by me after they caught me masturbating
Q. Okay, so I'm around 19. I'm asian, and my family are catholic nuts. (No kidding, it's all they talk about) So lately i've been kind of stressed out because i recently got unemployed and looking for another job and school work was taking it's toll...
A. 26 September 2011: Wow. I almost hope this question is a joke because, having Catholic parents, it sounds like my worst nightmare. In your place, I would have died of embarrassment.
Yes, masturbation is still on the books as not only a sin but a mortal sin -- meani... (read in full...)
I honey-trapped my own boyfriend.....he doesn't know it was me and hes broken my heart!!
Q. I am in bits right now.....really need some help. Ive been seing my long distant lover for 9 months. Hes in the army but we saw each other when we could. Latley he had become really distant from me though......his calls and texts became very rare ...
A. 22 September 2011: If you're ending it, then who cares if you tell him? At least then he will know it was his own moral failings that destroyed his relationship and will hopefully learn from it. If you just disappear or dump him for no apparent reason, he learns ... (read in full...)
I'm insecure about my looks, Does he lie to me to make me feel better, because I don't look like a porn star?
Q. I know, I know, another porn question. I need advice especially from females who "get it". I guess I have quite a degree of insecurity. The thing is, I know my boyfriend loves me. I know he lies to make me feel better, because he swears and insists ...
A. 22 September 2011: Fantasy will always be "better" than reality: Romance novels are more exciting than real romance, just as fantasy adventures are more thrilling than everyday life. If this weren't so, no one would read novels, play videogames, go to movies, or ... (read in full...)
I'm insecure about my looks, Does he lie to me to make me feel better, because I don't look like a porn star?
Q. I know, I know, another porn question. I need advice especially from females who "get it". I guess I have quite a degree of insecurity. The thing is, I know my boyfriend loves me. I know he lies to make me feel better, because he swears and insists ...
A. 21 September 2011: The harsh reality is that everyone settles. If you could choose between your boyfriend or someone with all his good qualities who was also a billionaire and never watched porn, which would you pick? In the end, everyone settles for the best they can ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend wants her own nudes on her phone.
Q. Ok just a quick question, but first a little background. My girlfriend has in the past given me erotic pictures of her. and now she wants me to send them all to her phone. my questions is, why would she want this? ( im going to leave out the part ...
A. 19 September 2011: I get creepy vibes from her. But it's her body and they are her pictures. She doesn't owe you an explanation.
You're worried about what she may do with them but that is her business, and you not sending them will not prevent anything, it will jus... (read in full...)
True or False: Men always think the grass may be greener with someone else?
Q. This is a question for men to answer true or false. If you're female, do not answer. This is an unanswerable question by a woman. Here is the back story, or skip to the bottom for the question. Last night while watching t.v. a character we both...
A. 14 September 2011: He will find other women attractive. But seriously thinking and fantasizing about being in a relationship with someone else? I doubt that is true of all guys, especially if their own relationship is going really well.
Maybe he misunder... (read in full...)
How to I get over my porn addiction?
Q. Hello there I have been trying to get over my porn addiction, its really difficult, i will go about 3-4 days without it. But i just cant do it I am a Christian but i havnt gone to church in ages I really miss connecting with God, and i need ...
A. 14 September 2011: Don't waste your time reading outdated feminist propaganda that ignores scientific truth when convenient and focuses on how the male porn consumer supposedly hates and objectifies women. Much feminist doctrine will run contrary to your Christian ... (read in full...)
Do ALL men really watch porn??
Q. I guess I should ask this as a curiousity question, aimed at men preferrably. Now, I have been on this site awhile and asked and answered a few questions. What I always hear on the topic of porn- ALL MEN WATCH PORN. Is this true? Now I will say...
A. 8 September 2011: Of course not all guys watch it. If there's no good reason to doubt your fiance, then just take him at his word. Not all guys love sports, videogames, or beer either.
The men who claim ALL guys watch pornos are really saying more about themselv... (read in full...)
How are some people so immune to nudity?
Q. My boyfriend wants me to watch this show game of thrones. The story sounds interesting but he told me there is a lot of nudity. To me then it sounds like porn with a really long story. I want to try to enjoy it since he loves the show but I can't ...
A. 12 August 2011: Never seen "Game of Thrones" so I can't speak to how gratuitous it is. Personally, I wouldn't want to see a show where "people have sex every few scenes" if it was just thrown in there for no reason or for shock value.
But just because somethin... (read in full...)
I don't enjoy my boyfriend's company, but he seems to really like me
Q. I've been dating this guy for a few weeks now, he's really sweet and lovely and really likes me but I'm just not happy with him. I just find him incredibly boring, I don't like being alone with him, whenever I am I'm desperately texting my friends ...
A. 9 August 2011: Put yourself in his place. Imagine if you were with a guy (or girl) you really loved but the feeling wasn't mutual. In fact, deep down they thought you were as boring as a pile of rocks and hated being around you. As bad as that would be, wouldn't ... (read in full...)
Why didn't he jump at the chance to get my number? Now what?
Q. Hey guys and girls Just needed a bit of advice as I'm really confused! 2 months ago a new guy started working at my local cornershop, he only works weekend evening, after a few weekends, we'd have strong eye contact And smiled at each other and e...
A. 28 June 2011: "Why didn't he jump at the chance to get my number?" Maybe because you didn't offer it. You suggested he give you HIS number, and he may not be used to doing it that way. I recall reading dating advice somewhere that said guys giving out their ... (read in full...)
Why do women care so much about men having a job?
Q. I am 39 and have never been able to get a job, so I have never been able to find love. And am still a virgin! Why do women care sooooooo much about this job thing? Why can't I be the one who does the housework and take the kids to school ect. ...
A. 18 June 2011: Just because someone wants or attains power doesn't mean they want the responsibilities that go with it. Women want to serve in the army but don't ever want to be drafted. They want to earn their own money but don't want to pay for themselves, much ... (read in full...)
I'm ashamed that I am into women, not men
Q. Help! i'm feeling really ashamed about my bi sexuality and liking more women, than men. I would love to be out,but i know that will never be the case when i think about being the way that i am. I feel sick, horrible. Sick to my stomach kind, like ...
A. 16 June 2011: Ok, if only to balance out what everyone else has said about being yourself, simply doing what you want, and that God will accept everything, I'll add this: while it's true you can't help who you're attracted to, you can still decide how you will ... (read in full...)
I want once a week sex but he has a low sex drive
Q. I have just returned from a week-end away with my boyfriend of 2 years. We are very loving and cuddly towards each other and get on really well except for the sex side of things. I make a real effort to look my best, going to the gym, keeping ...
A. 6 June 2011: Is he at least making an effort? Seems like he doesn't think there is a problem here or doesn't take your concerns seriously. There are many things he could still try (natural supplements, exercise, stress reduction, fantasy role-playing, etc.) to ... (read in full...)
Guys - do most of you struggle with committment and why?
Q. Hello. It turns out that the guy I am with and have been with for coming up to 1 and ½ years may have some commitment issues. don’t get me wrong, he’s great, we love each other and we are still together and have no intention of breaking up but he ...
A. 19 May 2011: According to this, it's because men value freedom:
http://www.thefemininewoman.com/2010/04/why-men-wont-commit/
And marriage -- especially what it's become in the modern Western world, with men needing their wives' permission to do virtually ... (read in full...)
My friend is in love with her uncle
Q. Hi, I write on behalf of my friend who needs serious help from you all. She just told me yesterday to help her, that she has been diagnosed with chronic ulcer and depression due to the fact that she has been in love with her uncle that lives with ...
A. 25 April 2011: I'm sure you've already told her she needs help, that obsession isn't healthy, incest is wrong, etc. All you can really do now is listen if she needs to talk and give her the best advice you can.
Beyond that, this is an internal family matter a... (read in full...)
Are men aware of what porn does to their sex drive?
Q. With all this so easy to reach pornstuff these days and especially men of all age groups spending lots of time on pornsites, I wonder what happens to their sex drive and joy of having sex with there partners. It makes me sad to read from so many ...
A. 15 April 2011: "If porn is lowering women's "market value" by being a substitute for women and sex, that equates porn with real sex. It's basically an admission that porn is cheating."
Uhhh, yeah, you got me. That's exactly what I meant. Sure. By the same tok... (read in full...)
Are men aware of what porn does to their sex drive?
Q. With all this so easy to reach pornstuff these days and especially men of all age groups spending lots of time on pornsites, I wonder what happens to their sex drive and joy of having sex with there partners. It makes me sad to read from so many ...
A. 13 April 2011: This complaint seems not uncommon nowadays, and is ironic considering that before the Internet, we most often heard the exact opposite. Women would complain that their partners wanted sex too often, that it was a chore or a marital "duty" to be ... (read in full...)
I resent my boyfriend sometimes to the point that it disgusts me
Q. Hey aunts and uncles.. I have been using this site for a while but this is the first question that I have posted. I am very nervous so please be gentle with me. My problem is my hard to explain but here goes... I have borderline personality di...
A. 7 April 2011: Smothering behaviour, constantly needing praise, and saying you're too good for him sound like symptoms of low self-esteem. Any relationship with someone lacking in self-esteem is bound to be challenging and places a burden on the other person. Your ... (read in full...)
Looking for some reassurance in the midst of teen angst
Q. OK, i know that i will get through this, because its only teen angst but i need some reassurance that i will stop feeling so goddamn sad! i just need to know that life will get better and i will become the person i would like, and that adulthood ...
A. 20 March 2011: Ok, this may not be exactly what you want to hear. I was a really sad teen as well, would spend a lot of time sleeping (because it was an escape from reality), and would fantasize about how great and perfect my future self would be. But when ... (read in full...)
Does he watch porn because he's bored?
Q. Quick question - do the majority of guys look at porn when they are in a relationship, and if so, what drives them to do that, and what do they get from it? I'd really like to understand. I'm in a relationship with an awesome guy, been together 6 ...
A. 19 March 2011: Don't think you'll find any one answer that applies to all guys. Some do watch out of sheer boredom. Others because they think they can learn sex tips and new moves from it. For many, it's just a way to get a quicker release through self-pleasuring ... (read in full...)
Should I let him go, so he can be with someone closer to his age?
Q. I'm a mature beautiful woman. I've met a man 14 years younger than me. We have been together for almost 2 years. I have had many relationships. He has not. He is the first man that I feel is my match, my love. He knows I would do anything for him. ...
A. 18 March 2011: If this is really true love, then why would you give that up? Don't listen to the skeptics or let your insecurities take over. There are some very long-lasting couples out there with even bigger age differences than yours. If he truly loves you, ... (read in full...)
Can you sleep with someone and not get attached?
Q. Can you sleep with someone and not get attached? Do you honestly think the 'friend w benefit' thing is possible?...
A. 18 March 2011: No and no.... (read in full...)
Should I feel jealous and annoyed that there is porn everywhere?
Q. dear cupid, i am geting anoyed with my husband's porn. not only has he purchased many dvds of porn but its everywhere on our computer, on our ps3, one our phone, and he even orders it through our cable! I found all this out about a month ago ...
A. 18 March 2011: At least to me, it seems rather absurd that a married man - especially one in a happy and still relatively new relationship - would be keeping that much porn around, and that to many in society this is considered normal.
To put it another way, it'... (read in full...)
Is it strange to not like pornography?
Q. I know this may seem odd for a lot of people to hear, but I'm a 16yo guy who is not at all into pornography. What I wanna know is, am I the only one? All my friends say I'm weird because I don't like it, but I personally don't understand why they do ...
A. 13 March 2011: I think the appeal is precisely that it IS fake and has no basis in reality. The same way that movies or World of Warcraft will always be more exciting than your real life. Would you criticize Star Wars for being fake? These things are total ... (read in full...)
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