A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello all, I was wondering if a guy was attached, is it ok for him to go out one on one with a female friend? Personally I wouldn't go out with an attached guy one on one even if we're just friends because I find it weird, and maybe a little disrespectful to his gf. Or am I too traditional in my thinking? Girls, how would you feel if your bf went out one to one with a female friend (but he told you)? What if that female friend used to be intimate with him? Or that he used to like her? Would that be different then? Many thanks for your answers. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, mrswaldhauser  +, writes (16 January 2013):
 If I was in your situation and it was my husband going for dinner or out with a woman he used to have sex with then I would chain him to the living room sofa. I trust my husband 100% that he wouldn't do anything. But after having had a child a few weeks ago and not feeling my best after childbirth physically there is not a chance in hell I would let him sit and talk with a woman and remember all their memories together, especially naked ones! It depends on your situation though. Right now me and my husband hardly get any time together due to work and looking after our baby so if we did have free time we would generally spend it with eachother and not out alone with other people.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (14 January 2013):
 I'm married. I have lunch fairly regularly with a male friend who is also married. we go alone at lunch time from work...
I would never go out with him at night without our spouses however...
also his wife knows me, my husband knows him... they know we go out... no big deal for us.
IF my husband wanted to go out with a female friend, I would want to know about it before hand... and I would want to know the woman he was friends with. NO Secrets.
If they were former lovers, I think I would be ok with it as long as hubby and I talked about it before hand and they were over each other.
IF she had a thing for him still, I would not permit it. NOT because I do not trust my husband because I do, but because he's totally clueless about women putting the moves on him and it would get ugly for her once he realized it.
Now my ex husband... NO way I would be letting him go out for a meal with an female without me. He was a liar and I did not trust him.
Trust is key.
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A
female
reader, kirra07  +, writes (14 January 2013):
I would not be okay with it if there were more than platonic feelings at any time in the past or present. Also, it depends on whether the one-on-one hang out occurs occasionally or it's an all the time kind of thing. If my husband were busy one night that I could see my male friend, then I would still see him. But 90% of the time my husband and others are there as well. It also depends on what your partner feels about it. Some people are more jealous than others.
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A
female
reader, Staceily +, writes (13 January 2013):
 I am with you, I don't think it is right for a man in a committed relationship to hang out one on one with another female. If there were feelings involved at any point its even worse and a definite no. The ONLY way it would be okay is if he had been only friends with the girl and never anything more than platonic friends and they are hanging out one on one ONLY because I couldn't make it but still was okay with him going. Hanging out one on one without even inviting me? Hell no. And hanging out with a girl he/she ever liked as more than a friend? Hell no.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2013): It is not ok if there were some feelings between the two of you. Why do you have to meet one on one? Meet as a group of people.
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A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan +, writes (13 January 2013):
It’s absolutely fine so long as you are both just friends. It only becomes a problem if one of you crosses the line or if he lies about it, then his girlfriend is entitled to get suspicious if she finds out he’s not been upfront about it. If the 2 friends are exes the girlfriend wouldn’t be being unreasonable if she expressed concerns about it, but sometimes people do maintain good friendships after a break-up and so long as he was being honest with his current girlfriend and she was okay with it, there wouldn’t be a problem. Spending time in the company of another woman isn’t cheating if it’s platonic.
I wish you all the very best.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (13 January 2013):
 It's not okay if there were sexual or romantic feelings before he met you. This is universal. We are all somewhat possessive regardless of race and age.
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