A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:There is this girl I've had my eye on at school lately. I don't know her on a personal level at all because we've never spoken to each other. However I have another female friend that does know her. I had my friend ask the girl what she thought of me looks wise based on a photo (I had her make it seem like it was random, I didn't want her to know I like her so she would be honest) and based on the photo, she said "He's average. He's not ugly but definitely not cute either" That sounds kinda harsh.The thing is, I have a personality that every girl thinks is extremely cute and funny (not trying to brag, that's just what I've heard). Do you think if she discovered this about me, and got to know me, I would have a chance? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, xTheAlmightyDuckx  +, writes (15 January 2013):
 In answer to your question. Normally yes, winning people over with your personality is an easy thing to do, considering if you have a nice personality. However it will vary depending on how important looks are to a particular girl.
And in all honesty, I would say that no, it isn't a bad thing to hear, and yeah you would still have a fair chance.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSo for future reference, when a girl makes that statement about me without knowing me, can i still win her over with my personality? Is what she said even a bad thing for a guy to hear if he wants any chance with a girl?
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (13 January 2013):
 I think you are a chicken-sh*t. IF you fancy this girl... then it's incumbent on YOU (not some third party!), to walk right up to her and say: "Hey, delicious lady, I REALLY fancy you.... and can see you and me spending LOTS of time - maybe the rest of our natural lives - together. Would you like to take a cup of coffee with me, at the local hangout, and see if you and I are in concert about this matter?"
You stand to get a definitive, "Get the F**k away from me, you CREEP".... OR, a less definitive, "Damn, I like a confident - though not very handsome.... guy, who comes on like an out-of-control steamroller... and it makes me all tingly, in just the right spots... so, let's share that coffee and see just how far we can go...."
Either one will give you a certain understanding on just how much of a chance you have with this devine creature...
Good luck...
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (13 January 2013):
 My advice, don't do that in the future, it's like shooting yourself in the foot before a marathon.
Maybe you though she would SWOON over your awesome picture, but the thing is it might even BE that she liked the picture and just didn't want to show her hand or, she is just not interested and by "forcing" her hand to say something you kinda blew it before you even really met her.
Also it seems rather.... Jr High to have a friend ask....
Did you blow it? I would guess yes, but if start to take the time to let her get to KNOW you who knows.
YOU kinda fell for her over how she looks, correct? So you are hurt that she "judges" guy by their looks too?
If you are interested in a girl, TALK to her - don't send a messenger.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOk to be honest i made up this scenario to see what people thought about it. I was considering using this strategy to see what she thought of me. The reason is because a girl had said that about me to one of my friends and even though I liked her, i didn't tell anyone i did. When i heard her say that it discouraged me. I still didn't know that girl on a personal level but i was really attracted to her.
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A
male
reader, anon_e_mouse +, writes (13 January 2013):
 janniepeg: "Just like a salesperson you have to be more proactive and assume the sale first. If she doesn't like you then you can focus on the next one."
EXACTLY RIGHT!
Thinking about it, you might have a chance. Some people look better in real life than in a photo. Give it a go but do it right this time. Don't be wimpy.
It's a numbers game.
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A
female
reader, xTheAlmightyDuckx +, writes (13 January 2013):
Saying your average isn't necessarily a bad thing. She is just basically saying she doesn't look at you and think "ew omg whos he?" and she doesn't look at you and think "Omg hes so hot" She looks at you and think "Oh just an average guy." So all in all, its okay, she isn't attracted to you but nor does she think your horrible. But when it comes to looks its acutally a very minor thing when it comes to going out with someone. Yeah sure, somebody has to be attracted to you in order to even get in a relationship in the first place, but sometimes people can find your personality just as beautiful or appealing as your looks. I've fallen in love with peoples personalitlys, and then when it came to how they looked in person, it didn't even matter as there personality was all it took. You should just first get to know her as a friend, maybe just start talking to her at school or something. You won't have a chance straight away but anything could happen, you could even just end up becoming good friends.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (13 January 2013):
 Your first mistake was giving her a "preview shot"
My husband is not all that cute when you get right down to it... but because I met his personality first (from a distance watching him manage a room full of 200 people) I didn't see the crooked teeth or the bad hair cut, or the lousy dressing... his personality is what won my heart...
You had a perfect in, you have a mutual friend.
You may be able to salvage this (if she is like me and can't associate faces with photos really well) by just going up to her when she's with your friend and saying HI. and joining the conversation.
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionShe has no idea I like her. I had my friend ask what she thought of like 10 guys at our school so it seems random. So, since she doesn't know I have an interest in her, do I have a chance? I plan on just striking up a conversation tomorrow
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (13 January 2013):
 I would rather have a guy straight out ask me, and not go through a friend for opinion. I date online, the person I pick based on photo is rarely the guy who would be with me eventually. I respond to whoever asks me out first and also what we have in common. I also think the approach to dating is that you pick someone you think will be a good fit to you, rather than wondering if you are good enough for them. Just like a salesperson you have to be more proactive and assume the sale first. If she doesn't like you then you can focus on the next one.
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A
male
reader, anon_e_mouse +, writes (13 January 2013):
Nope.
Every man and woman has to pass the physical attraction test first and foremost.
What I want to know is why did you send your girl friend in for you? That's a bit wimpy. You should've walked up to her and struck up a conversation with her, maybe make her laugh and then ask for her phone number.
This shows confidence which is attractive. Now if she wasn't physically attracted to you in some way, the conversation wouldn't have flowed and she would've said "no". However, since you're not ugly but not cute, your show of confidence might've made you more attractive to her and she might have given you her number.
However, now she has seen your photo and a wimpy roundabout way of seeing if she was interested before you approached her I'd put money on you having no chance at all. Believe me, she's not dumb. Women have a knack for this sort of thing and you can bet she knew what your girl friend was doing.
Next time, do your own dirty work if you want to get anywhere. You'll get better results than being wimpy and sending a girl friend or buddy to do it for you.
Sorry pal but I'd say you've struck out there. That's my take on it but maybe someone else here thinks differently?
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