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... Send *irtball a private message | | | *irtball's profile:Hello DC. Some of you may be wondering where I were I went. My life has taken a turn that has taken me away from here for the time being. I'm not really answering many questions at this time. If you PM me, I will respond, but it may be delayed a week or two. I had many problems dumped on me of my own, so I don't have much energy for the problems of others. I'll be back, but it just may be a while.
Wow, been away longer than anticipated. To sum it up, life sort of sucks for me at the moment. Not looking for pity, just letting you know why I haven't been around. I still hope things will get better soon, but who knows.
ALERT: If you're sending me a PM in regard to advice I've given you, please reference the thread or specifics so I can be on the same page. Lately I've been receiving lots of PM's with an answer to some question I asked, but since the question was from an Anon poster, I have no idea which answer it was in regard to. I give a lot of advice here, so I'm very sorry if I don't immediately recognize you. The question title or a link would be most appreciated. Thank you!
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Hi, I'm the bad bad charming sweetheart dirtball. Although recently I seem to have picked up the moniker "Dirty Balls" despite making sure to clean them thoroughly each day. Anyway, I love this site. I have a BA in Psychology which is part of the reason I think I like this site so much. I posted anon for quite some time before creating my profile. I took to the brutally honest approach which has gotten me in trouble a few times, but for the most part has gone quite well. I enjoy helping people and at times challenging them when I think it is appropriate.
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I've been getting lots of great feedback on my advice and I appreciate it, even if you didn't like it. With that said, I'd like to add a segment here I'll call (drum roll please)
DIRTBALL'S RULES ABOUT PEOPLE AND DATING (in no particular order)
Men don't befriend women who they are not interested in sexually. What do I mean by this? I mean that men will not actively seek out friends of the opposite sex unless they would like to make the friendship progress further at some point. Plain and simple, that's how we operate. Are there circumstances where they are actually just friends? Yes, those would be times when you are forced together in some way. Examples could be; fellow employees at work, a regular customer at work, shared friend circle. The key to watch for is if he looks to spend time with her alone. That's usually the sign that he has a romantic interest in the relationship.
Long Distance Relationships don't work. Go ahead and tell me your success stories, I don't care. Most of the time it is just way too hard for the parties involved. Too much doubt creeps into the relationship. Plus, can you really call it a relationship if you only get to be together rarely? I think not.
Once broken up, you should stay that way. Make up/break up relationships don't work. Why do you always feel the need to break up? It's because things aren't working. Then you miss each other and get back together, only to have the very thing that drove you apart last time do it again. It is a cycle that doesn't get better. All you're doing is preventing yourself from finding someone who will actually make you happy.
People only change if they really (and I mean REALLY) want to for themselves. Changes for the benefit of others are temporary. True change is very hard to make. It requires diligence, effort, and support.
Communication is the most important part of your relationship. So many times we have people here asking about how they should handle a situation when the solution is simply to talk to your partner about it. We forget how important this is. It affects everything. If you are feeling upset about something, it is best that you discuss it with your partner instead of burying it and letting it brew. Later it will explode when it could have just been a calm discussion if addressed right away. Communicate with your partner. If you never talk, why are you even together?
People can love each other and not be right for a relationship. This kind of goes back to the make up/break up rule from earlier but it extends to present partners or exes as well. When someone is part of your life, especially for long periods of time, it is natural that part of the love you carry for them will always be there. Just because you love someone though, that doesn't mean you should be together. That's the case with most of my ex GF's as I'm sure it is with many other people. Sometimes you need to consider if love is making you do foolish things.
You should set ground rules in your relationships. Let your partner know about deal breakers. Deal breakers being defined as things they would do that would cause you to end the relationship. It is good to get these out of the way when you are getting serious. That way, you can refer back to them if your partner does something against said ground rules. An example that I tell all my girlfriends (including friends who I'm not romantically involved with) is that I will never answer the question "Am I fat" or any variation of it (does this make me look fat, does my butt look big, etc). I explain why too. It's a trap question. Answer yes, and that's obvious. Answer no, and "you're just saying that." So I won't entertain that question. I know, silly, but this works for the bigger picture too. Figure out what's important enough to you that you'd be willing to end a relationship. Tell your partner what these things are. If they want to be with you, they should know.
When one person in a relationship has a problem, it's a problem for the relationship. You're not alone in your relationship, and dismissing your partner's problem doesn't solve anything. It makes them feel devalued and unimportant. Why don't you care enough to address something they think is a problem? It's because you know it's a problem but want to hide. Don't hide from it. If you do, it won't go away.
When a relationship ends, you need to give yourself proper time to grieve it. Like dealing with death, you go through the same stages. Denial, anger, depression, bargaining, and finally acceptance. This is part of the problem with rebound relationships. Take the time you need. Don't be afraid to wait.
Let the past be the past. It's over, it's done, and there is nothing that can be done to change it. There is no use dwelling on it because there is nothing that can be done about it. Don't worry about things that cannot be changed. You can't drive a car by only looking in the rear view mirror.
I'm sure there will be more to come, but these are the few I've seen myself repeat a lot in my rather short time here.
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This is, hands down, the best conversation I've seen about porn yet on this site: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/why-is-there-no-middle-ground-when-it.html
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Dirtball Rants:
1) What the hell happened to punctuation and grammar? I blame text messaging for the trash I see people write. It's not the content but the way it's expressed that makes me wonder what's happening to society. I realize that we're a multinational forum here, and I give a complete pass to someone who is doing their best despite the fact that English isn't their first language. But the crap I see from Americans, the British, Canadians, and Australians often makes me sick. If any of you read this, your posts would be much easier to read if you used paragraphs, sentences with punctuation, and whole words instead of abreviations like U, cuz, or wut! Quit being so fucking lazy if you want help.
2) There is a difference between the words your and you're. "Your" denotes ownership. "You're" is the contraction of "you are." Saying something like "your lame" is wrong wrong wrong! The same goes for there, their, and they're. "There" is used for things like places (look over there). "Their" denotes ownership (they wanted their cookies back). "They're" is the contraction of "they are." An example, "they're going to the service station over there to pick up their car which was just repaired." I bet that just blew your mind.
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Abreviations.
I use a lot of abreviations when I type advice so I'm going to start a list of the most common ones I see for use as a reference tool.
OP - Original Poster, the person asking for advice.
BF - Boyfriend
GF - Girlfriend
SO - Significant Other, your BF, GF, Fiance, or spouse in other words.
BTW - By the way
FWIW - For what it's worth
TBH - To be honest
IDC - I Don't Care
IDK - I Don't Know
IMHO - In My Humble Opinion
IMO - In My Opinion
IOW - In Other Words
THO - Titty Hard On (erect nipples) |
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He tells me that masturbating to porn everyday before work is normal?
Q. My boyfriend has to watch porn and masturbate everyday before work, even if I'm home he'll do it in the bathroom, he says it has nothing to do with sex, Is this normal, I mean It makes me feel like I'm not enough for him! He don't see a problem...
A. 23 December 2010: He's got a major problem. His actions speak louder than his words. He's looking for something outside. That's not good. I can see why you don't trust him.
Is the relationship doomed? At this rate, yes. It doesn't have to be if you can get ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's female friend is literally living at my place...with us!!
Q. my boyfriend has this friend that's a female, but heres the chatch they use to go out together but split up cause of some differences. Well at first I was ok with him talking to her and her working with him at his garage, but now she's every where ...
A. 22 December 2010: I'm going to expressly disagree with the anon posters who suggest an ultimatum. They really don't work. Go ahead and try it, but don't say you weren't warned.
I just wish I could find that article...... (read in full...)
Was it right for me to worry about this 15 year old girl my ex is dating?
Q. ohhhhh kayyyyy. So my ex boyfriend said i cant talk to his ex girlfriend and all i told her was the truth. He cheated on me. We live in same town. This girlfriend hes now seeing again live in a different state and shes fifteen. Hes twenty. Was this ...
A. 22 December 2010: "It was horrible how i couldnt open me eyes to wat everyone was saying..."
Yup, just like you won't be able to open her eyes either. that's why it's best if you stay out of it. If you don't you just look like a spite filled ex with issues a... (read in full...)
Was it right for me to worry about this 15 year old girl my ex is dating?
Q. ohhhhh kayyyyy. So my ex boyfriend said i cant talk to his ex girlfriend and all i told her was the truth. He cheated on me. We live in same town. This girlfriend hes now seeing again live in a different state and shes fifteen. Hes twenty. Was this ...
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My husband doesn't understand why I can't get over his cheating!
Q. my husband told me he had a one night stand with a woman years ago. i found out he had a long term relationship with this woman. my husband can't understand why this still bothers me. he told me to get over it. i try but his actions today remind ...
A. 22 December 2010: Hmmm, I have to think back to Sunday school. I thought there was a commandment that says, "Thou shall not commit adultery." Perhaps I'm mistaken. It has been a while.
Him saying "get over it" doesn't address anything. It's bullshit. It's dis... (read in full...)
Is it normal to have sexual feelings for people 10-15 years older than you?
Q. I have two questions. First is that how do male teens masturbate? And second is that is it normal to have sexual feelings for people who are about 10-15 years older than you?...
A. 22 December 2010: How do male teens masturbate? The same as adult males. Usually with their hand and some sort of stimuli (fantasy, magazine, movie, etc.)
Is it normal to have sexual feelings for people older than you? Yup. Some people are attracted to people t... (read in full...)
He makes sex seem like a chore!
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for about 2 1/2 years now. Ever since we became sexually active (3 months in), he has not been able to have an orgasm during intercourse, only during oral. And it's only during oral that he seems to really enjoy himself. ...
A. 22 December 2010: Physical compatability is very important to a relationship. Some people seem to think it shouldn't matter, but when one partner always initiates, it leaves that person feeling unwanted and unloved. "Why am I not good enough for you to desire ... (read in full...)
He doesn't know I'm gay and neither am I clear about his orientation. Help!
Q. Right now, I'm typing this with a miserable and lonely heart and I really need help and advice. So basically there's this guy which I like and I can't stop thinking about. I've known this guy for about a year and we're friends. He doesn't know I'm...
A. 22 December 2010: The comment I'm stuck on is his statement about how his mom would freak out if he brought a guy home. This implies he may be interested in doing that. The rest just sounds like buddy buddy type stuff.
You could try asking him, or even telling ... (read in full...)
I want to see my boyfriend every day but hes always got other plans
Q. Am I being too selfish I see my boyfriend almost everyday even if its just for a minute but when he says he is gonna try and come over and the next thing ya know he is with his friends at a fire... But days he will be over later.. What am I supost ...
A. 22 December 2010: It's not healthy for you to spend all your time together. Couples need space from each other if it's going to work out long term. If you're not so demanding of his time, you may find he wants to spend more of it with you. I also suggest you start ... (read in full...)
Help...i can't get a woman out of my head.
Q. On a chance meeting I briefly chatted with a woman younger than myself. I'm 15 years her senior. She's 30 and has a young child. Amazingly I was instantly attracted to her, and now I cannot get this woman out of my mind. I cannot become involved ...
A. 22 December 2010: Well, if you've tried, then I guess that's all you can do.
Usually your best bet for getting over someone is to cut all communication with them and find other stuff to keep you occupied. Delving into a hobby or passion usually helps. Maybe jo... (read in full...)
I'm still in love with her, is this because she dumped me or do I just need more time?
Q. Hi my queston is if is a good idea to send her a marry christmas sms or email? or for new year wishes? or for her birthday, which she have it in the end of january. which it will be a month that we broke up and maybe is better then to show her frie...
A. 22 December 2010: I'd just leave it alone. Time will help you. When you have strong feelings for someone, it always hurts when they end it. You now need to cope with your feelings and not be concerned about her. Good luck.... (read in full...)
Trapped in a sexless marriage but he wont let me go
Q. hi i have been married for past 5 years,i am a very simple, shy and homely girl.in this 5years of marriage we have had sex only 10-15 times. he is putting all blame on me what is is saying is that when we got married i was not his type of girl he ...
A. 22 December 2010: Why can't you leave? Do you need his permission? I'm sorry, I'm not sure about how things work in your culture.
The only way that problems in a relationship can be solved is through communication about them. You need to open up and talk to ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's female friend is literally living at my place...with us!!
Q. my boyfriend has this friend that's a female, but heres the chatch they use to go out together but split up cause of some differences. Well at first I was ok with him talking to her and her working with him at his garage, but now she's every where ...
A. 22 December 2010: (scrambles) Catfight, what?!?
Sorry, I got distracted there for a second.
I don't have any idea what he's thinking, but this is definitely not good and I feel for you. A couple of tips though. All that little manipulative stuff you're doi... (read in full...)
I traveled 30,000 miles to get back to a boyfriend who broke off with me!
Q. I travelled 30,000 odd miles home 2 days ago to be told as soon as I got off the plane I no longer had a boyfriend - the boyfriend I was so desperate to get home to. The boyfriend I thought about the whole time I was away. The first 2 weeks it was ...
A. 22 December 2010: In Cerberus' defense, I interpreted your original post as this being an LDR too, and everything he said there applies. Based on your follow up though, I see he's just a jackass (your ex, not Cerberus). You're better off without him. ... (read in full...)
I just wanna be normal like every other teenager...
Q. Hello, This is quite personal but i have never been fingered before but i think my boyfriend wants my first to be with him. I do finger myself sometimes because i want to get used to it. When i do i have found this small selection of lumps ri...
A. 22 December 2010: I hope you keep that attitude! Our warnings often come from personal experience. In my case I thought I was ready at 15. I was wrong. I just didn't realize it until a couple of years later. Remember, just because it may be legal at 16 doesn't ... (read in full...)
Is a hollywood wax a bad idea?
Q. I want to get a hollywood wax [all hair off] but I have mega sensitive skin and a low pain threshold. Bad idea girls?...
A. 22 December 2010: No worries if you have someone to kiss it and make it better! ... (read in full...)
My fantasy for another man turns him off
Q. I am in my 30's and my husband thinks that I am the ice queen. He has told me numerous times that he thinks I need to be bolder in my sexuality. I finally told him that what really turns me on is fantasising about sleeping with another man (spe...
A. 22 December 2010: The fantasy isn't uncommon, but usually the person who wants to watch is the one that brings it up. You have an exhibitionism fetish. Look for a middle ground. Instead of having sex with someone else, what if he "secretly" watches you masturbate? ... (read in full...)
She's totally ignoring the fact that I sent her three messages!
Q. I'd like some advice please regarding a potential new relationship. A new girl started at work a few months ago. We get on really well, and have been getting to know each other. I recently suggested going out and we arranged it for the day afte...
A. 21 December 2010: Ya think she was preoccupied? She was in the bloody hospital! Couple that with a dislike of texting and you have your answer. Just go talk to her. She sounds like an old fashioned girl so give her a get well card with a nice note. If it's too ... (read in full...)
Merry Christmas, with an off-color queston!
Q. This is NOT a relationship question. At least not yet :-). I'm just on a playful mood at the time, taking a break from work, and one of those weird and funny thoughts that give you the goosebumps came to my mind. I want to wish everyone a Merry ...
A. 21 December 2010: They must be pretty profitable because it seems like new ones are popping up all over the place by me! I hear adds for them on the radio all the time too.
"Turn play time into sexy time..."
... (read in full...)
Merry Christmas, with an off-color queston!
Q. This is NOT a relationship question. At least not yet :-). I'm just on a playful mood at the time, taking a break from work, and one of those weird and funny thoughts that give you the goosebumps came to my mind. I want to wish everyone a Merry ...
A. 21 December 2010: Very nice! Hair removal cream in the conditioner... Ouch! That stuff burns. Saran wrap on the toilet is always a good one, but can get messy.
Merry Christmas! ... (read in full...)
Does "love at first sight" really exist?
Q. Is there really such a thing as "love at first sight" or should it be "attraction at first sight" - I think the first has happened to me. ...
A. 21 December 2010: I think it does, kind of. Attraction at first sight would probably be more accurate though, because I feel you have to know a person to love them. It's impossible to know someone from just sight alone. Still, some connections happen right away, ... (read in full...)
He does not allow me to initiate sex, he tells me he is not a peforming animal.
Q. Hello I have been married for 9 years, five of those years have been spent begging, crying, bargaining, conjoling my husbanc into making love to me. He does not allow me to initiate sex, he tells me he is not a peforming animal. the only way he ...
A. 21 December 2010: Therapy, for the both of you. He's not listening to your needs. That's not healthy for any relationship. This will also drive you apart if it's not addressed.
He needs to know you're serious about this. Physical intimacy is very importan... (read in full...)
Why wont she say once and for all if its over, or if I need to change for this to work?
Q. My fiance has moved out, again, during the most stressful time of year for us. My income fluctuates and is seasonal. She is out of work and without her own transportation. She's stuck at home alone and not meeting any goals. I'm used to hibernating ...
A. 21 December 2010: Glad to help. I'm all about working through problems, but it takes two in order to do that. It's a shame, but it seems like she's checked out. Good luck.... (read in full...)
Is it possible that he treats me seriously?
Q. I met this guy in a club three days ago, we were dancing, talking and, well, we had sex in a toilet (yeah, I know, but I was drunk and it was actually the first time I did something like that). After that we spent some more time together, left the ...
A. 21 December 2010: I wouldn't bring it up right away. About the most I'd do is, after a few dates, say something along the lines of, "You know, I have something to get off my chest. The night we met was the only time I've ever done something like that. It's been ... (read in full...)
Help...i can't get a woman out of my head.
Q. On a chance meeting I briefly chatted with a woman younger than myself. I'm 15 years her senior. She's 30 and has a young child. Amazingly I was instantly attracted to her, and now I cannot get this woman out of my mind. I cannot become involved ...
A. 21 December 2010: I'm wondering the same thing. A distant business relationship is nothing but an excuse. Ask her out. ... (read in full...)
Defended my special needs child from attacker, who's now vilifying me. What can I do?
Q. Anyways i am a parent who went on vacation with my husband's family. Not a good idea, it turns out that I ending up reprimanding, my husband's family member for physically attacking my child. Well that wasn't a good idea as the relative, got so ...
A. 21 December 2010: You, as a parent, have every right to decide how your child is raised. That includes discipline and how it's carried out. What that person did was wrong.
Sociopaths suck to deal with. All the things you describe are pretty much the textbook... (read in full...)
StepDad terrorises me And Mum stays silent. Help please
Q. My mum got together with my stepdad when I was 6 years old (I'm now 20).All of my life he's been terrorising me and bullying me to the point when I was 14 I shot myself in the head with an airgun because I was severely depressed over him. Mum neve...
A. 21 December 2010: You need to get out of there asap! That's the only way this will end unfortunately. I know you said you're looking for a place. Keep looking. Talk to your friends too. Some of them may need a roommate or be looking to move out of their parents' ... (read in full...)
Is it possible that he treats me seriously?
Q. I met this guy in a club three days ago, we were dancing, talking and, well, we had sex in a toilet (yeah, I know, but I was drunk and it was actually the first time I did something like that). After that we spent some more time together, left the ...
A. 21 December 2010: Is it possible? Anything is possible. Is there a future? Doubtful, but at the same time it can't hurt to see, right?
I say why not. Go for it. I would suggest you don't make a habit of screwing random guys at clubs, but other than that the... (read in full...)
I just wanna be normal like every other teenager...
Q. Hello, This is quite personal but i have never been fingered before but i think my boyfriend wants my first to be with him. I do finger myself sometimes because i want to get used to it. When i do i have found this small selection of lumps ri...
A. 21 December 2010: I don't think you have anything weird going on. Everyone is shaped differently down there, and your boyfriend is not likely to even notice or know anything different. He'll be nervous too.
On a different note, perhaps you're a little young to... (read in full...)
I think I'm losing him to his best friend... What to do?
Q. OK my BF's BFF is now single. I didn't really mind if she was taken but I know she loves him. She told him herself after she found out about me. And now It sort of bothers me because it's long distance. And yesterday I asked my dad, who ...
A. 21 December 2010: It's not her fault. She has every right to like whoever she wants. You have no right to be mad at her if she likes your boyfriend. It's your boyfriend that you should be concerned with. He would be the one cheating.
This is a major reason w... (read in full...)
I'm clueless with girls and in over my head... Help!
Q. Needed to get this off my chest. Enjoy. I am a 21 year old male living in the US as a student and my name is Aiden. Girls confound me and I know virtually nothing about them and I have very limited experience around them. I have a female best frie...
A. 21 December 2010: If you like her, let her know. No harm in that. The problem I see is the distance. How far away is the university that Claire is attending? How would you make a relationship work?
The reason I ask, is a perpetual dater (someone who is rarely s... (read in full...)
Boyfriend has been acting differently since his brother died
Q. I'm 17 and I got my first boyfriend a year and a half ago. We're still together, but recently he's been acting differently around me. I feel like now he doesn't care about me at all. He started acting differently when his brother died a couple of ...
A. 21 December 2010: You're better off without him. If he's both verbally and physically abusive, then that's a problem that gets worse, not better. I know you don't feel like celebrating right now, but you should. Well, maybe not now. Anyway, please don't even ... (read in full...)
He tells me that masturbating to porn everyday before work is normal?
Q. My boyfriend has to watch porn and masturbate everyday before work, even if I'm home he'll do it in the bathroom, he says it has nothing to do with sex, Is this normal, I mean It makes me feel like I'm not enough for him! He don't see a problem...
A. 21 December 2010: Ok, then it's a problem. Would you have any problems with a wake up quickie?
I think you should tell him you want him to bring that energy your way. If he can jack off every day, but can't satisfy your needs as much as you like, then he's got... (read in full...)
Is this lack of communication during the day, and seeing each other only once a week normal?
Q. Hey, guys.. Me and my boyfriend have been together for 1.5years. I'm 25 and he's 35. Ever since we got together, there's one thing that really bugs me. his habit of not calling. OK lemme make it simple: 1. He never texts or calls from morning til...
A. 21 December 2010: It's not demanding or needy to want what you want. You can't help it after all.
Perhaps when you moved out, it had a deeper effect on him than you thought. It's really hard to say. You need to sit down and have a heart to heart with him. ... (read in full...)
Do men like lingerie or women naked?
Q. So I got some realllly cute Lingerie at Victoria Secret to wear for my boyfriend the other day and I guess the thought never ran through my head but do guy's really enjoy lingerie or are most men just all for the full blown nakedness?...
A. 21 December 2010: Mmmm, a girl in nothing but a guy's button down... Yeah, that's definitely hot. So is lingerie. All the reasons people stated apply. I'm sure he'll love it.... (read in full...)
Why wont she say once and for all if its over, or if I need to change for this to work?
Q. My fiance has moved out, again, during the most stressful time of year for us. My income fluctuates and is seasonal. She is out of work and without her own transportation. She's stuck at home alone and not meeting any goals. I'm used to hibernating ...
A. 21 December 2010: Give her time to focus on herself.
Listen, she can't tell you to change. You need to want to change for yourself in order for it to happen. She won't say it's over, so now you have to decide for yourself if that's what you want.
To me, it sou... (read in full...)
Did I do something to make him think I am not interested?
Q. I had been talking to this guy all week and he met me and my friends out on Saturday night. We talked the entire night and well into the morning. We fooled around a little bit, but there was no sex (oral or otherwise). We fell asleep and then ...
A. 21 December 2010: I don't think you did anything wrong, and there is nothing wrong with you reaching out either. Just a quick text or call to say hi.
Keep in mind that this is a very busy time of year for most people. Sometimes things we want to do get pushed t... (read in full...)
Why can't he look me in the eye?
Q. Why can't he look me in the eye, he might sometimes but when our gazes meet he looks away or starts walking and talking instead...we had some ups and downs in our knowing eachother, and i think this guy is an attention hound when it comes to the ...
A. 21 December 2010: So, you got him in trouble with HR and you still have contact with each other? Not a good plan.
He looks away because he's uncomfortable. I would be too if I needed to talk to someone who might cost me my job if I'm not careful. He may not ... (read in full...)
Is this lack of communication during the day, and seeing each other only once a week normal?
Q. Hey, guys.. Me and my boyfriend have been together for 1.5years. I'm 25 and he's 35. Ever since we got together, there's one thing that really bugs me. his habit of not calling. OK lemme make it simple: 1. He never texts or calls from morning til...
A. 21 December 2010: 1. Over the last year and a half you've developed a routine. He'll stick to the routine as long as it's working. Talking for 20 minutes a night is normal. The longer you're together, the less you have to say to each other on a daily basis unless ... (read in full...)
One of my breasts is bigger than the other, will this affect my relationships?
Q. dear cupids, This question has been botherin me for a long time now. I have unequal breasts. One is half the size of the other. Will it affect my relationship in any way?? Do men give too much attention only to your outer appearence? Bcoz of this ...
A. 21 December 2010: A good guy won't care, a shallow one might. I can say I wouldn't care as long as I could still play with them.
... (read in full...)
Can I forgive this?
Q. I've been with my partner for over two years but four mths ago,I discovered he'd been having cybersex with strangers,including on webcam and swapping intimate photos.I've tried to keep the relationship going,with the beginnings of therapy,he got rid ...
A. 21 December 2010: I doubt he's cheated physically. I can completely understand why you feel the way you do though. Basically this is porn. It's interactive porn, but still porn. Nasty pictures and dirty chat. It's something that trips his trigger. Most men who ... (read in full...)
Can you ever be friends with a member of the opposite sex?
Q. Hey, this isn't really a problem I was just wondering what everyone thinks on whether guys and girls can ever just be friends? My friends think one will always find the other sexually attractive but is this true? I've had lots of guy friends for ...
A. 21 December 2010: I think it's possible, but usually at some point in the relationship deeper feelings creep in. How those are handled will ultimately define the relationship.... (read in full...)
Is he referring to oral sex?
Q. Hi, This is a question for the guys. If a guy says to a woman he wants to touch and lick you until you scream.Is he referring to oral sex? ...
A. 21 December 2010: Sounds like it to me.... (read in full...)
How can I make her be my friend again?
Q. Hi. Okay, so... I had a girl which was my best friend, we used to talk almost the whole time and being together a lot, I loved her but didn't tell her because I didn't want to ruin our friendship. One day she saw I had no mood, it was because of i...
A. 21 December 2010: Do you really want to torture yourself with being her friend? Your feelings don't sound like they've changed.
I think you should come clean about your feelings. Practice a bit of what you will say, but just tell her. Ok, she's with friends.... (read in full...)
Can I forgive this?
Q. I've been with my partner for over two years but four mths ago,I discovered he'd been having cybersex with strangers,including on webcam and swapping intimate photos.I've tried to keep the relationship going,with the beginnings of therapy,he got rid ...
A. 21 December 2010: You can get past it if you both make the effort to. Keep in mind it won't happen over night. While this isn't quite an affair, it does land in that shady grey area between porn and an affair.
I think that if the rest of the relation... (read in full...)
He tells me that masturbating to porn everyday before work is normal?
Q. My boyfriend has to watch porn and masturbate everyday before work, even if I'm home he'll do it in the bathroom, he says it has nothing to do with sex, Is this normal, I mean It makes me feel like I'm not enough for him! He don't see a problem...
A. 20 December 2010: I'm with Stayc on this one! Normal is different for everyone. I would venture to say that's fairly common. I know I've gone through similar streaks. It's a good boost to the morning.
Do you want to have sex every morning? Does he still ha... (read in full...)
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