A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'd like some advice please regarding a potential new relationship.A new girl started at work a few months ago. We get on really well, and have been getting to know each other. I recently suggested going out and we arranged it for the day after the Christmas works party. At the party, we got on great. She cancelled her taxi and stayed later, and shared my taxi home. Nothing happened between us that night, we went out the next day as planned and had a good time - she mentioned a few times about "next time". I texted her afterwards and said that i'd had a good time, and she replied and said she had too. At work, everything was good and I was going to suggest going out again, then a few days later, she had an injury at work and had to go to hospital. I texted her a couple of times to see how she was and I said to let me know if she was up for a visitor. I didn't have a reply but found out from work that she was home. I texted her again at the weekend and asked how she was and if she was free for lunch at all. She didn't reply.Anyway, we're now back at work and she's acting like all is normal. I'm confused. We seemed to be getting on so well, and still are, but she's totally ignoring the fact that I sent her three messages while she was off. I'm pretty sure that she got them although I guess there's a chance she may not have done and I guess she was preoccupied. I also know she's quite an independent person and not a keen texter like me! However, I do think it seems a bit rude to just not reply at all. But we had been getting on so well?I'm not sure what to do now? I really like her and I don't want to throw it all away when it started so well, but if she is just blanking me then I don't want to make a fool of myself. I guess I have to be straight with her but i'm not sure how? Any advice would be much appreciated, thanks!
View related questions:
at work, christmas, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (22 December 2010):
 There's a simple solution: ask her if she got the texts. If it bothers you this much. You could say "by the way, I hope you weren't feeling too bad at the hospitals, I sent you a couple of texts to check in on you." If you word it right you should make this sound as if you are concerned she didn't get your texts and concerned she might think you have been ignoring her and not been interested in her well being. However if you word this wrong you will make it sound exactly like it is: you are upset at her for not texting you back while she was in the hospital...! You really shouldn't get upset over this, you're obviously not going to be her top priority when you're not even in a relationship with her. So be careful how you phrase it.
Or just let it go and don't take such small things to heart.
A
male
reader, Ed12345 +, writes (21 December 2010):
She was probably just sleeping. Injuries mess up your sleep routine.
It is possible that she didn't get them if she was moving mobile networks, or if she'd lost her phone and was getting the number switched to a new one. The mobile firms often cock those things up.
...............................
A
female
reader, Ms Me +, writes (21 December 2010):
Are you sure she is single and lives alone?
...............................
A
male
reader, DKW +, writes (21 December 2010):
I would write this one off and forget about her. She's "just not that into you" my friend.
...............................
A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (21 December 2010):
 People occasionally send me texts that I note and mean to reply but I'm in the middle of something and just can't get to it. Then I forget to get back to them. She may have higher priorities right now than replying to texts.
Also, my phone acts up sometimes. I miss texts, or calls even, they get delivered hours later and occasionally, there are so many things happening at once on the phone, I'm on it, someone texts and then there's a calendar reminder all the same time.
Give her the benefit of the doubt. If she is treating you exactly the same, I would return the favor and do the same.
Funny, in the old days, you sent a card when someone wasn't feeling well, or called to see what you could do. Maybe she's schooling you as to her ways, and texting isn't in the mix. Just a thought.
Give her the benefit of the doubt.
...............................
A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (21 December 2010):
 say hello to her. Start again. If you raise the texts with her it might irritate her. Perhaps she might have liked a 'get well' card when she was in hospital. Maybe her phone was damaged or lost or had to be replaced. Try not to get off on a bad foot just over texts. Move forward politely, positively, with no judgements nor recriminations about the texts. I like texts, but have a dinosaur friend i've known for years from school, where she and her husband think texts are rude, so she rarely replies. But in person or on the
phone she is fine.
Ask her face to face, re how is she feeling. You will soon know if all is ok
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2010): Just chat normally to her, find out whether she is fully recovered and tell her it's good to see her again. Ask her out in person, not by text, and you will get a better idea of her reaction by the body language.
...............................
A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (21 December 2010):
 Ya think she was preoccupied? She was in the bloody hospital! Couple that with a dislike of texting and you have your answer. Just go talk to her. She sounds like an old fashioned girl so give her a get well card with a nice note. If it's too late for that, a welcome back card. Tell her you're looking forward to another date and completely ignore the fact that she ignored your texts. Be confident. She likes you. You know it. So make it happen!
...............................
A
male
reader, CJH +, writes (21 December 2010):
 The text route obciousl hasn't worked so why not try the old fashioned approach and speak to her face to face at work?
You could be right that she didn't get your texts or notice them before so forget that for the time being and start again.
If she makes it clear that she isn't interested, back off if, on the other hand she seems keen on another date, go for it.
The worst thing you could do is just sit and think about this over and over again. Bite the bullett and go speak to her.
Good luck.
...............................
|
