A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hi.Okay, so... I had a girl which was my best friend, we used to talk almost the whole time and being together a lot, I loved her but didn't tell her because I didn't want to ruin our friendship. One day she saw I had no mood, it was because of it, I just kept thinking the whole day about my situation with her.It was after school and we were with friends but we were alone a few times, she wanted to find out what's wrong and I didn't tell her. After a while she just, got sort of upset or mad or i dont know what, and she told me it't not fair I'm not telling her what's wrong because she tells me almost everything, which is true. I told her it's nothing and that it's not important, it's just a mood. She told me I'm acting weird for a while and that she is worried about me, I felt so great that she cares about me but on the other hand I didn't want her to worry for nothing. Since then, she didn't talk to me at all, for a few months.I tried to talk to her but she always rejected it and wasn't willing to talk so I kinda let it go. Then, she sent me a message says that she can't take it anymore and it's so weird for her that we're not talking, and she knows most of it was her fault and she wanted us to make up. I told her that's okay but I didn't really mean it, I knew nothing is going to change, and it will never be like before. I was so hurt because of her, because she didn't talk to me and I lost a friend that I loved. Now, after like 7 month, I think we should make up and put all of it behind us because I can't take it anymore either but she is always with her friends and I'm so shy to go to her for the first time after 7 month and just talk to her like NOTHING heppend and when she is not with her friends I just don't know what can I tell her and how to start a conversation, I mean, alot of time passed. Please, tell me what should I do, how can I start a conversation, how can I make her be my friend again ?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2010): If she loves you and you love her then why are you hurting her by not telling her that you love her. You're not making any sense. Sorry but this is ridiculuous actually. What are you waiting for man for some other dude to sweep her to the alter?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2010): Thank you both, @ dirtball, you see, I rather have her as a friend then not having her at all, my feelings didn't change, its true, but still, I have girl friends but, they are nothing like her and we don't talk like I used to talk with her.It's kind of awkward going to her like that after we haven't talked a while, the thing is that I already talked to her about that I'm sorry and such, of course I didn't tell her I love her by a message. although it wasn't face to face but still, I don't want to repeat that again. I think she already knows my point and I don't want to sound desperate.I know I missed a golden opportunity and I regret that often.You say I should just go for it ? tell her how I feel or rebuild our friendship first and then wait for the right moment and tell her ?Thanks :)
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A
male
reader, 83puremage1  +, writes (21 December 2010):
I think you should just tell her how you feel about her. Trust me the most painful thing is you love someone but never have the courage to tell the person and then she goes out with another guy.
If she rejected you, then that means she only treats you as very important friend but not a boy friend, which can hurt a lot. I have experienced that. However, at least she knows how you feel and you will feel much better afterward.
trust me on this.
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A
male
reader, dirtball  +, writes (21 December 2010):
 Do you really want to torture yourself with being her friend? Your feelings don't sound like they've changed.
I think you should come clean about your feelings. Practice a bit of what you will say, but just tell her. Ok, she's with friends. Go up and say hi and ask if you can steal her away for a little bit. If she wants to reconnect too, then she'll come with you to talk. That's when you tell her what happened. Here's an example: "I'm sorry I didn't tell you what my problem was that day. I know that's when things changed for us. The thing is, the problem was that I have developed feelings for you, and I was afraid it might ruin our friendship. I got scared, but it seems that by not telling you the outcome I feared came to be anyway. I'm really sorry. I've come to realize I really want you in my life. Do you think we can be friends again?"
You missed a golden opportunity when she was pressuring you for an answer. Don't let your fears keep you from something that could possibly be great. A friend sent me this quote yesterday, and it applies to you. “It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return, but what is the most painful is to love someone and never find the courage to let the person know how you feel.”
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