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... Send *irtball a private message | | | *irtball's profile:Hello DC. Some of you may be wondering where I were I went. My life has taken a turn that has taken me away from here for the time being. I'm not really answering many questions at this time. If you PM me, I will respond, but it may be delayed a week or two. I had many problems dumped on me of my own, so I don't have much energy for the problems of others. I'll be back, but it just may be a while.
Wow, been away longer than anticipated. To sum it up, life sort of sucks for me at the moment. Not looking for pity, just letting you know why I haven't been around. I still hope things will get better soon, but who knows.
ALERT: If you're sending me a PM in regard to advice I've given you, please reference the thread or specifics so I can be on the same page. Lately I've been receiving lots of PM's with an answer to some question I asked, but since the question was from an Anon poster, I have no idea which answer it was in regard to. I give a lot of advice here, so I'm very sorry if I don't immediately recognize you. The question title or a link would be most appreciated. Thank you!
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Hi, I'm the bad bad charming sweetheart dirtball. Although recently I seem to have picked up the moniker "Dirty Balls" despite making sure to clean them thoroughly each day. Anyway, I love this site. I have a BA in Psychology which is part of the reason I think I like this site so much. I posted anon for quite some time before creating my profile. I took to the brutally honest approach which has gotten me in trouble a few times, but for the most part has gone quite well. I enjoy helping people and at times challenging them when I think it is appropriate.
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I've been getting lots of great feedback on my advice and I appreciate it, even if you didn't like it. With that said, I'd like to add a segment here I'll call (drum roll please)
DIRTBALL'S RULES ABOUT PEOPLE AND DATING (in no particular order)
Men don't befriend women who they are not interested in sexually. What do I mean by this? I mean that men will not actively seek out friends of the opposite sex unless they would like to make the friendship progress further at some point. Plain and simple, that's how we operate. Are there circumstances where they are actually just friends? Yes, those would be times when you are forced together in some way. Examples could be; fellow employees at work, a regular customer at work, shared friend circle. The key to watch for is if he looks to spend time with her alone. That's usually the sign that he has a romantic interest in the relationship.
Long Distance Relationships don't work. Go ahead and tell me your success stories, I don't care. Most of the time it is just way too hard for the parties involved. Too much doubt creeps into the relationship. Plus, can you really call it a relationship if you only get to be together rarely? I think not.
Once broken up, you should stay that way. Make up/break up relationships don't work. Why do you always feel the need to break up? It's because things aren't working. Then you miss each other and get back together, only to have the very thing that drove you apart last time do it again. It is a cycle that doesn't get better. All you're doing is preventing yourself from finding someone who will actually make you happy.
People only change if they really (and I mean REALLY) want to for themselves. Changes for the benefit of others are temporary. True change is very hard to make. It requires diligence, effort, and support.
Communication is the most important part of your relationship. So many times we have people here asking about how they should handle a situation when the solution is simply to talk to your partner about it. We forget how important this is. It affects everything. If you are feeling upset about something, it is best that you discuss it with your partner instead of burying it and letting it brew. Later it will explode when it could have just been a calm discussion if addressed right away. Communicate with your partner. If you never talk, why are you even together?
People can love each other and not be right for a relationship. This kind of goes back to the make up/break up rule from earlier but it extends to present partners or exes as well. When someone is part of your life, especially for long periods of time, it is natural that part of the love you carry for them will always be there. Just because you love someone though, that doesn't mean you should be together. That's the case with most of my ex GF's as I'm sure it is with many other people. Sometimes you need to consider if love is making you do foolish things.
You should set ground rules in your relationships. Let your partner know about deal breakers. Deal breakers being defined as things they would do that would cause you to end the relationship. It is good to get these out of the way when you are getting serious. That way, you can refer back to them if your partner does something against said ground rules. An example that I tell all my girlfriends (including friends who I'm not romantically involved with) is that I will never answer the question "Am I fat" or any variation of it (does this make me look fat, does my butt look big, etc). I explain why too. It's a trap question. Answer yes, and that's obvious. Answer no, and "you're just saying that." So I won't entertain that question. I know, silly, but this works for the bigger picture too. Figure out what's important enough to you that you'd be willing to end a relationship. Tell your partner what these things are. If they want to be with you, they should know.
When one person in a relationship has a problem, it's a problem for the relationship. You're not alone in your relationship, and dismissing your partner's problem doesn't solve anything. It makes them feel devalued and unimportant. Why don't you care enough to address something they think is a problem? It's because you know it's a problem but want to hide. Don't hide from it. If you do, it won't go away.
When a relationship ends, you need to give yourself proper time to grieve it. Like dealing with death, you go through the same stages. Denial, anger, depression, bargaining, and finally acceptance. This is part of the problem with rebound relationships. Take the time you need. Don't be afraid to wait.
Let the past be the past. It's over, it's done, and there is nothing that can be done to change it. There is no use dwelling on it because there is nothing that can be done about it. Don't worry about things that cannot be changed. You can't drive a car by only looking in the rear view mirror.
I'm sure there will be more to come, but these are the few I've seen myself repeat a lot in my rather short time here.
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This is, hands down, the best conversation I've seen about porn yet on this site: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/why-is-there-no-middle-ground-when-it.html
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Dirtball Rants:
1) What the hell happened to punctuation and grammar? I blame text messaging for the trash I see people write. It's not the content but the way it's expressed that makes me wonder what's happening to society. I realize that we're a multinational forum here, and I give a complete pass to someone who is doing their best despite the fact that English isn't their first language. But the crap I see from Americans, the British, Canadians, and Australians often makes me sick. If any of you read this, your posts would be much easier to read if you used paragraphs, sentences with punctuation, and whole words instead of abreviations like U, cuz, or wut! Quit being so fucking lazy if you want help.
2) There is a difference between the words your and you're. "Your" denotes ownership. "You're" is the contraction of "you are." Saying something like "your lame" is wrong wrong wrong! The same goes for there, their, and they're. "There" is used for things like places (look over there). "Their" denotes ownership (they wanted their cookies back). "They're" is the contraction of "they are." An example, "they're going to the service station over there to pick up their car which was just repaired." I bet that just blew your mind.
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Abreviations.
I use a lot of abreviations when I type advice so I'm going to start a list of the most common ones I see for use as a reference tool.
OP - Original Poster, the person asking for advice.
BF - Boyfriend
GF - Girlfriend
SO - Significant Other, your BF, GF, Fiance, or spouse in other words.
BTW - By the way
FWIW - For what it's worth
TBH - To be honest
IDC - I Don't Care
IDK - I Don't Know
IMHO - In My Humble Opinion
IMO - In My Opinion
IOW - In Other Words
THO - Titty Hard On (erect nipples) |
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How do I tell my daughter about her father's other family?
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A. 6 January 2011: Glad to help out. Best of luck in dealing with this difficult situation.... (read in full...)
Does my baby's father really love this Probation Officer or is he using her?
Q. I am 5 months pregnant with my boyfriend of a year. I broke up with him at 9 weeks. He was layed off from his job and I was working 2 jobs at the time. I would come home and he was never there, claiming to be looking for jobs (at 9pm at night). I ...
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How do I tell my daughter about her father's other family?
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I can also understand why you want to be nice abo... (read in full...)
How do I tell my daughter about her father's other family?
Q. How do I tell my young daughter that she was conceived while her father was/is married and has a family to another?...
A. 3 January 2011: First I should warn you that I'm not a parent. While I have distinct thoughts about parenting, I cannot speak from any semblence of experience here.
Ok, he's her dad. That's what she should call him. She won't really understand anything... (read in full...)
Does my baby's father really love this Probation Officer or is he using her?
Q. I am 5 months pregnant with my boyfriend of a year. I broke up with him at 9 weeks. He was layed off from his job and I was working 2 jobs at the time. I would come home and he was never there, claiming to be looking for jobs (at 9pm at night). I ...
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How long should I wait for the ex drama to calm down?
Q. Recently I started hanging out and getting to know a co worker. Everything is going great between us, but they are having issues with their ex (3 kids together). My question is how long would be a fair time to give them to take care of the ex i...
A. 30 December 2010: Ok, so you've got some time yet before things calm down. A relationship like that takes a lot of time to get over. 7 months is a good start, but I would bet it will take longer.
Perhaps you can do some small stuff together without getting ... (read in full...)
Missionary position is uncomfortable because boyfriend is so thin
Q. Hi, I need some sex advice. My boyfriend is really tall and skinny, and I'm a bit chubby, and he has really pointy hips. This becomes a problem in the missionary position, beacuse his hips hurt my inner thighs, sometimes I even get small bruises. I ...
A. 30 December 2010: Ok, what this means is he's putting too much pressure on you with his hips. He can adjust the position so that he releaves that pressure. How do I describe it? Kind of like if you guys were doing doggy style, but with you on your back. More of ... (read in full...)
How do you masturbate anally?
Q. i am interested in having anal sex but my boyfriend hates it,so i heard you can masterbate analy,how do i do it and what can i use since i dont have a vibrator....
A. 30 December 2010: You can use your finger. You will want to lube it up and then go for it. A small vibrator or butt plug would probably be better and aren't that hard to get.... (read in full...)
Should I date one sister when I want another?
Q. Zarah and Samantha are twins but not identical. I know Zarah through work. Zarah then introduced me to her twin sis Sam. Zarah keep trying to set me up with Sam. But I want Zarah as she's better looking, friendlier etc. Zarah's been with her bf Mark ...
A. 30 December 2010: You shouldn't date someone you're uninterested in just to get closer to the person you are interested in. Especially when they are twin sisters, identical or otherwise.
All your talk of career comparison is irrelivant to her. The practica... (read in full...)
When he drinks, my best friend tells me he loves me
Q. Okay, I'm a 16 year old girl, so there's guy that I've been best friends with since I was 11, never saw him as more than a brother, told him everything... He's helped me through all my relationship problems.... But recently, I've seens him as more, ...
A. 30 December 2010: You always run the risk of losing a friendship when you introduce feelings like this. It comes with the territory. It's better to risk it though if you ask me. Better than wondering what could have been.... (read in full...)
Attracted to friend in a relationship with another friend, but don't want to ruin anything?
Q. This is possibly one of the most tangled up problem you might see, and I hope I'm clear with exactly what I am troubled about. Some background info - I'm bi-curious, possibly bi-sexual. But that's not the main issue I'm having, although it does...
A. 30 December 2010: There is always risk involved in these situations Cyrano. Sorry, that's going to be my nickname for you because of the similarity in your stories. I suggest you look it up, it's about a man how helps a friend woo the girl he actually loves.
... (read in full...)
How can we get back to being BF and GF again?
Q. I like a boy a lot but i pushed him away and started calling him "brother" or "Browdy" and he started calling me sister and i hate it because i love him and i have loved him since 2008 and i dont like it when he calls me sister because to me it ...
A. 30 December 2010: You know how you're feeling when he calls you sis, well that's how he was feeling when you called him brother.
How do you get him back? Talk to him and tell him you want him back. See how he responds. It may not be possible, but he may stil... (read in full...)
Was a fling or does he want me back?
Q. Hey everyone. My boyfriend of 19 months dumped me almost 2 months ago. We were in a long distance relationship as of September this year when he started college, and he's currently home for the X-mas holidays. He attends college overseas. I'm cu...
A. 30 December 2010: Well, since you don't want to do anything, what help can we be?
You know what you should do. You said it. It's the right thing to do even if it sucks to do it.
Was he just using you? Maybe a little, but I bet he still has feelings for you... (read in full...)
How can I get an honest take on his thoughts on marriage?
Q. My boyfriend and I recently got back together. We were a couple for three and a half years and broke up for three months this year. We've only been back together for a week, though we remained in the "working-it-out" stage for the majority of our ...
A. 30 December 2010: Just talk about it. You've been together long enough that you don't need to tip toe around a subject. Tell him you've changed your thoughts on marriage. You would like to get married someday in the future. You're still in no hurry, but it is ... (read in full...)
Like, lust or love? What really demonstrates and defines it as love between two people?
Q. I was thinking and want to know, what exactly is love?...
A. 30 December 2010: It's a feeling.
Beyond that, it's impossible to define. People have been trying for centuries.... (read in full...)
Pregnant by an older abusive man
Q. So my boyfriend has been putting hands on me for while and gets outta control when we get into arguements sometimes. I am 20 and he is 20 years older than me. He always says the things I do causes him to do what he does. I really started thinking ...
A. 30 December 2010: He'll say that every time. He does not mean it. Put the bastard in jail where he belongs!
Abusive people don't change. They always say they will. They talk a good game. It's how they shift the blame for their actions to you. You don't ma... (read in full...)
He doesn't show me off to his ex?
Q. We've been in a relationship for almost two years, we're very much in love we're about to have a baby and get married, but there is something ive never been able to get off my mind. When we first started dating he would mention his a little s...
A. 30 December 2010: I hate to be the one to deliver bad news, but he had feelings for her that he never really worked out. That explains everything you've described.
The good part is that his excitement that he shows to everyone else is likely genuine. The reas... (read in full...)
She cheated, I dumped her, but am having second thoughts
Q. I have been in a relationship for 2 years. and have never been happier, until i find out for a couple months my girlfriend was sleeping with her ex. the last time she slept with him was at least 6 months ago. but during the cheating period i ...
A. 30 December 2010: You can trust again, just not her. She doesn't deserve your trust. She suffered the consequences of her actions as she should.
Don't fool yourself. She can cheat again. She can lie about it again. She probably will to.
Definitely cu... (read in full...)
I broke his trust and don't know how to make things better.....?
Q. Hi. So I've been seeing this guy for just over 3 months now, but we got together when he still had a girlfriend so had to keep it all a secret from our friends. They broke up a couple weeks later and since then we have still kept everything quiet. ...
A. 30 December 2010: Nah nah nah, don't be too apologetic here. After 3 months you shouldn't be a secret. If you're having sex now, it's just plain rude of him to expect this to be hush hush. What, is he ashamed of you or something?
Sure you broke his trust. ... (read in full...)
I really don't know how I'm supposed to react!
Q. So I am pretty close to this guy at school. We have always lead a love hate relationship until lately when we have become very close and its been more Love than Hate. He started doing this thing where, if I am sat next to him if he gets tired he ...
A. 30 December 2010: Move closer to him, ever so slightly when he does stuff like this. Or touch him. Some of what he's doing you are supposed to just sit there though (like playing with your hair).
Lays his head on your shoulder, rest your head against his.
... (read in full...)
How should I start off telling him that I'm gay?
Q. Hi, I've got a friend that I'd like to "come out" to. He's a really nice person and probably the best friend I've ever had. I trust him fully, but there's just one problem. I don't know what his opinion is on gay people, and I'm a bit parinoid abo...
A. 30 December 2010: Chances are he probably suspects something already. As much as you may try to hide it, it's not something that's easily hidden for most people.
As far as starting a conversation about it, it may just be best to ask. There's lots of stuff ou... (read in full...)
I'm straight and like gay porn. Why?
Q. Alright im straight never been with a man never thought about being with a man never turn on by men ive only ive had sex women i enjoy sex with women i enjoy lesbo porn but then why when i watch gay porn do i get turned on and only gay porn not men ...
A. 30 December 2010: Why don't you capitalize your "I's" or use punctuation? The world may never know...
It's not that uncommon. It's something different, likely with some taboo appeal. Perhaps you're discovering something about yourself you're repressing. Porn is... (read in full...)
Does my baby's father really love this Probation Officer or is he using her?
Q. I am 5 months pregnant with my boyfriend of a year. I broke up with him at 9 weeks. He was layed off from his job and I was working 2 jobs at the time. I would come home and he was never there, claiming to be looking for jobs (at 9pm at night). I ...
A. 30 December 2010: So, you'd want to be with someone who would use a girl just to reduce his sentence. What a great guy. Really. He's perfect in every way.
Get serious. What they are doing is illegal. What you SHOULD do is call the supervisor of the departme... (read in full...)
My ex is in an online rebound relationship...
Q. Hey there. I really need someones help. I'm 19 years old. Me and my ex boyfriend broke up. We been together for almost 2 yrs. Before we ever started dating, I had gotten out of a relationship a few months before we stared dating. I was in high ...
A. 30 December 2010: Ok, I think I followed that. Basically there is nothing you can do. Walk away. He has a lot of maturing to do. Honestly, he sound like a prick. I know that sounds harsh. "But you don't know him!" Here's the thing. Because I'm separated from ... (read in full...)
What it takes to be a wonderful man?
Q. Hi all girls there. I often hear girls saying I have a wonderful man/ boyfriend etc. i wonder what it take to be a wonderful man from the ladies point of view. well what it takes to be a wonderful man? is it wealth, look, traits,education or ...
A. 30 December 2010: Hahaha, many of the women I see post about having a wonderful man then ask why he's cheating on her! LOL
"He's so great and caring, but why does he hit me?"
"I'm in love with the greatest guy ever, but why won't he leave his wife?"
I'm cu... (read in full...)
Really confusing mixed signals - driving me mad!
Q. We're best friends, we spend a lot of time alone together, we text almost all day and I can trust him with anything! He always says he's my knight and he always takes care of me, and does cute things to make me happy. And when we're together we're ...
A. 30 December 2010: He doesn't want to go out with anyone OTHER THAN YOU. That's the part of the sentence he left out. He likes you. That's pretty obvious. I think you two will make a good couple. I think you should try to make it official.... (read in full...)
He always accuses me of cheating, but I didn't!
Q. Hi... I would really appreciate your help, because i am really desperate now... My boyfriend and I have been together for 7 months now.. i never done anything that could make him think that i like someone else, except going out a few times, and ...
A. 30 December 2010: person12345 beat me to the punch. He's definitely cheating on you. Not to mention being emotionally abusive. Be done with that jerk. He's made you a wreak over what? His insecurity, jealousy, controlling behavior, and abuse. Sounds like a real ... (read in full...)
Do we have a future? He won't get a divorce.
Q. im 21, he's 28. we're coworkers at a restaurant. ever since he first kissed me out of nowhere a year and a half ago, we've been making out, texting, even hanging out when we can outside of work. we never hooked up. hes not pressuring me at all, im a ...
A. 30 December 2010: There is something keeping them married. It's not good that he hasn't finished the divorce if they are both dating people. That's just weird. Couple that with the fact that they still live together and it's just trouble.
He may be sweet, b... (read in full...)
How long should I wait for the ex drama to calm down?
Q. Recently I started hanging out and getting to know a co worker. Everything is going great between us, but they are having issues with their ex (3 kids together). My question is how long would be a fair time to give them to take care of the ex i...
A. 30 December 2010: When kids are involved you'll never be completely rid of the drama. If you both are planning on getting together, you just need to give her the time she requires. It's different for everyone.
How long has it been since they broke up? Were the... (read in full...)
How do I get emotionally close to my boyfriend?
Q. i'm a 16 year old whose mother left when i was 13. the only person i'm close to is my sister. i'm afraid of emotion and i'm so used to being by myself that it's weird to have attention. i want a boyfriend and i want to be kissed and held but i'm ...
A. 30 December 2010: Can people tell when someone's never been kissed?
Not usually.
Tips for getting a first boyfriend?
Find a guy you fancy and ask him out. Or have a friend set you up on a date. Experience rarely matters to people. In fact, many people pre... (read in full...)
After you break up, should you get rid of any gifts?
Q. I have two questions. When you break up with a boyfriend, especially when it was a serious relationship, do you trash/give back gifts, or anything that reminds you of him? And by getting rid of those things, does it make you get over him faster, ...
A. 30 December 2010: People do different things. I typically don't get rid of that stuff. Definitely don't give anything back unless it was just given very recently. Some people will have a bonfire and destroy any memory of that person. Some people will put those ... (read in full...)
Why does he want me to marry someone else?
Q. My story is long but am in a very miserable condition. Please aunts help me.I am around 30 and my boyfrnd is around 40. When i was in his city, he was around 34 and was crazy after me. But i only had oral sex with him during our relation. This is ...
A. 30 December 2010: He used you for sex. He doesn't want a relationship with you. He was saying that stuff to get you into bed. It worked, he was happy, and he had enough of you.
I'm sorry this happened, but you should learn from it. I know you had a history,... (read in full...)
I had sex and now I'm nauseous. Is this normal?
Q. i lost my virginity on christmas 5 days ago and 3 days ago i have started getting stomach aches and feeling like vomiting but nothing happens is this a normal symptom or should i be worried? :/ ...
A. 30 December 2010: It's a normal symptom for pregnancy. You might want to take a test or go to the doctor.
Then again, you could just be sick.... (read in full...)
He has trouble orgasming in me! Is that normal?
Q. My boyfriend has not cummed in me ever we have been together for 2 years. Is there something wrong with me or him? I feel like im trying really hard to please him but still nothing. He said he has only been able to do it about 5 times in his ...
A. 30 December 2010: How does he orgasm? Does he just not orgasm?
Honestly, my first guess would be anxeity over pregnancy. Even when it's irrational, some people's stress will prevent them from pleasure. It's nearly impossible to say based on the info though. ... (read in full...)
Can you really alter a polygraph?
Q. Ok, my question is I want to give my husband a polygraph test and I want to know that he cant alter the test. The reason I want him to take one is because well lets just say his work takes him to different places over seas for a year to a yea...
A. 30 December 2010: Polygraphs are crap. Absolute crap. It's obvious that your trust is broken. That's what really matters here. ... (read in full...)
Does sex always get in the way of just being friends?
Q. So can a man and woman be friends or does sex always get in the way. I have this guy I chat with a couple times a week when we see each other. Small talk has turned intimate and he asks a lot of questions wanting to know me. He also recently told me ...
A. 30 December 2010: He's flirting. Bad news as he's in a relationship. He's getting his desired outcome though.
Are male/female friendships possible. Yup. I personally think that one party often develops deeper feelings for the other though. Sometimes those fe... (read in full...)
Should I really be doing this or am I getting a little ahead of myself?
Q. Okay, so I'm 14 years old, and just recently, I've made plans with this guy, a friend, who I've known for years, to lose my virginity...and I know a lot of people might say I'm too young, but I know what I want.. my thing is, I have a fear of ...
A. 30 December 2010: You're welcome. Be cautious of guys your age. Many of them will pressure you for sex. That never has been right, and it never will be right, but it is the reality of the world we live in.
I'm glad to hear you've decided to wait. I hope you... (read in full...)
Boyfriend dependable on me and others, but I love him?
Q. Okay, so here's my problem-o. I have a boyfriend, who I've been with for five months and counting. We've known each other for almost 4 years, and at first we were just friends with benefits (Before you guys judge me, we would only make-out, never ...
A. 30 December 2010: BIG RED FLAG!!! If his last GF left him for the same reason, and he still hasn't learned... He never will. You're college bound. Congratulations! College is a great experience and definitely worth it. He's a dropout who mooches off of ... (read in full...)
First I was smothering her, but now I don't care enough!
Q. Okay so I am a 17 year guy and I went out with my girlfriend for about 7 months. This is the second time we've split up. The first time was due to me "not caring", not being sensitive enough and generally giving the vibe that I didn't care (despite ...
A. 30 December 2010: If she initiates contact you should ignore it or at most give short replies that do not initiate further communication. Carrying on conversations with her will just prolong your hurt. It will give you hope of change, feelings will stick around, ... (read in full...)
How do I tell my daughter about her father's other family?
Q. How do I tell my young daughter that she was conceived while her father was/is married and has a family to another?...
A. 29 December 2010: How old is she exactly? This is a delicate situation to say the least. She's the product of an affair. Is her father in her life?... (read in full...)
What types of signals does a guy send when he likes you ?
Q. i like this boy and i told him that i like him in person but it was really acward and he diden't say anything ometimes he sends signals that he likes me well it seams like it im rally confused . what tipes of ignals dose a guy send when he likes u ?...
A. 29 December 2010: It depends on the guy, but smiles, staring, flirty conversation. All these are signals he likes you.
Body language can be an indicator too. Does he approach you? Does he mimic what you're doing without realizing it? What I mean is, if you touc... (read in full...)
I'm his wife and yet I feel like a "dirty secret"
Q. Needing Advice My husband and I recently married. We had discussions about concerns prior to marrying and I thought all was settled....Wrong...My husband went to visit his new Grandbaby at his ex's home on Christmas. His son, who is in his 30's was...
A. 29 December 2010: I can certainly understand why you're feeling the way you are. This is all pretty shady behavior.
I think you should have his son over, or at a minimum all go to dinner together. You're right that his son is old enough to realize how the worl... (read in full...)
Why doesn't my wife want me going down on her?
Q. My wife won't let me go down on her, I LOVE doing it and I am actually pretty damn good at it. (5 girls have told me I have given them their only orgasm from oral) I try to head down south but she tells me 'I don't want you doing that right ...
A. 29 December 2010: BionicTongue. Nice name. LMAO!!
Perhaps she's feeling self conscious about something. Perhaps she doesn't like it as much as you think. Just because someone gets an orgasm that doesn't mean that the really like something. It could also be ... (read in full...)
Sexual past creeping in the present...and now my retroactive jealousy is raging.
Q. I have been with my wife for 15 years. About 7 years of dating and being engaged, about 8 or so of it married. We have 2 amazing kids. I adore my wife. She's beautiful, my best friend, I love spending time with her. We started dating our Senior ...
A. 29 December 2010: The joys of too much information.
If she wanted to be with him, she would be. You're the only man she's had in her life for almost half of the time she's been alive and all but 6 months of her dating life. That's commitment!
There is no s... (read in full...)
After 3 years I still don't have the confidence to ask her out!
Q. Im going through my teenage years but struggling quite a lot.Im a teenage boy of 14 years old and ive never asked a girl out.Ive liked this particular one for three years and i still dont have the confidence to speak to her.I have thought about ...
A. 29 December 2010: How to build confidence.
It's not easy, but there are some tricks. Find something you're good at, and get really good. Then start teaching people about it by either joining or starting a club. This will get you talking about a subject you know... (read in full...)
Pregnant, Jealous - how do I stop? urgent help needed!!
Q. Hi, I will try and keep this short. Basically I am 3 months pregnant to my live-in boyfriend. Before I got pregnant (this time), his ex (who has a new partner and child) would call him every week or so and despite us being together for 2 years, ...
A. 29 December 2010: The ex thing would definitely bother me. This other girl, not so much. He's being honest with you about these communications. He's not hiding them. Even when you snooped and asked him, he told you without knowing you already knew. These aren't ... (read in full...)
Torn between room mate and boyfriend in jail
Q. SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME. I have a boy friend in jail he's been in jail for two years, he comes home in three months. this guy supports me and we have a understanding. the thing I fear is him doing illegal things again. then theres this other gu...
A. 29 December 2010: So, guy 1 is in jail and he supports you. Guy 2 is someone you've been cheating with for the last 6 months.
When guy 1 gets out he's going to want to kill guy 2 for fucking his GF while he's been in the joint. When he does it, he'll land bac... (read in full...)
Boyfriend dependable on me and others, but I love him?
Q. Okay, so here's my problem-o. I have a boyfriend, who I've been with for five months and counting. We've known each other for almost 4 years, and at first we were just friends with benefits (Before you guys judge me, we would only make-out, never ...
A. 29 December 2010: Is he at least making an effort to find a job? Have you talked to him about the strain this is putting on you and the relationship?
Situations like this are very stressful. They are difficult to deal with because the truely important things i... (read in full...)
Should I really be doing this or am I getting a little ahead of myself?
Q. Okay, so I'm 14 years old, and just recently, I've made plans with this guy, a friend, who I've known for years, to lose my virginity...and I know a lot of people might say I'm too young, but I know what I want.. my thing is, I have a fear of ...
A. 29 December 2010: No you should not be doing this. Yes you are getting ahead of yourself. Trust is important, but so is love when it comes to your first time.
Sex changes a relationship. There is no such thing as staying just friends with him after you've h... (read in full...)
First I was smothering her, but now I don't care enough!
Q. Okay so I am a 17 year guy and I went out with my girlfriend for about 7 months. This is the second time we've split up. The first time was due to me "not caring", not being sensitive enough and generally giving the vibe that I didn't care (despite ...
A. 29 December 2010: It's for the best man. Best wishes.... (read in full...)
First I was smothering her, but now I don't care enough!
Q. Okay so I am a 17 year guy and I went out with my girlfriend for about 7 months. This is the second time we've split up. The first time was due to me "not caring", not being sensitive enough and generally giving the vibe that I didn't care (despite ...
A. 29 December 2010: Rollercoasters are fun, but there is a reason why they are short. When it comes to relationships, they are intense, great at times, and at other times, the lowest of the low.
It's time for you to get off this rollercoaster of a relation... (read in full...)
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