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This question has 6 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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28 November 2010: Recently, I found this poem by Maya Angelou. I think it pretty well summarizes how women should feel about themselves. Here it is, in case it benefits anyone. PHENOMENAL WOMAN by Maya Angelou Pretty women wonder where my secret lies I'm n...
Just some fun!
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 December 2008: Something one of my aunts sent me: When I was born, the doctor went to the waiting room and told my father: "We did all we could, but he was born alive". My mom didn't know whether she should keep me or the placenta. Since I was born before ...
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Tested my boyfriend with texts from a "mystery admirer"... and he's arranged a date with her!
Q. I've been seeing on and off (cos of lack of time) this guy for 3years. He was and says he is so into me loves me very much; in the past i found 'his love' a bit suffocating. However recently I decided that i will give a good go to a relationship ...
A. 13 August 2007: Now you know for sure, for absolutely sure, that he is a liar and was cheating on you for who knows how long. The good part about your testing him was that it led to exposing it. I think your gut feelings warned you something was the matter.
... (read in full...)
Tested my boyfriend with texts from a "mystery admirer"... and he's arranged a date with her!
Q. I've been seeing on and off (cos of lack of time) this guy for 3years. He was and says he is so into me loves me very much; in the past i found 'his love' a bit suffocating. However recently I decided that i will give a good go to a relationship ...
A. 25 July 2007: I'm happy for you. You managed.... (read in full...)
He's more experienced and I am a virgin. Not ready for sex yet, but do I take this further?
Q. I've been seeing this guy for about five months now and I guess things are going good. It's tough because there is an age gap and he is ALOT more experienced then I am. Anyways I'm still a virgin and as of right now I'm not ready for sex. I'm still ...
A. 21 July 2007: I asked about his age because I wanted to have a clue whether he was this understanding because he is INDEED understanding, or whether he was simply manipulating you. If he were, say, a 40-year old, then I would suspect his being so "understaing" ... (read in full...)
She wanted to wait before telling others about our relationship..should I bring it up again?
Q. I have recently begun seeing a girl I met while at a volunteer summer job. We clicked the instant we met and we have been seeing each other regularly for over 2 months now. She was just getting over a very unhealthy relationship at the time I met ...
A. 21 July 2007: I think you should ask again. It's a bad sign that she wants to be "clear" of her previous relationship. She should have been clear before she started another relationship with you.
How long will it take before she thinks she's "clear"?... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to hang out with her even though she wants me back?
Q. update to http://www.dearcupid.org/question/is-my-ex-trying-to-seduce-me.html well my ex. has calmed down a bit not trying much anymore but we've started hanging out alot more like the other day we went to the movies and last night a concert, so ...
A. 21 July 2007: It is not wrong. However, you should ask yourself whether you want to give her false hope, or whether you really want to be with her. If you're not going back to her, make it very clear. Stop anything that might give her a reason to continue to ... (read in full...)
I want to know whether it is reasonable to ask him to have no further contact with this other girl?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 6 months and I feel, perhaps due to past experiences, that he doesn't really want to be with me, he say's he does and he has never really given me any real reason to doubt this. However a girl he was seeing before ...
A. 21 July 2007: I can say this much:
Your past experiences are no real way to know whether this guy really wants to be with you or not. Only he can answer that. Don't make the mistake of mistrusting him because of what other men did.
However, I do... (read in full...)
How do I get over this fear of being left and trust that not every guy is going to leave me?
Q. As short as I can keep it, I came out of a bad marriage 7 years ago, it was almost 4 years after I felt ready to try dating again, then I met a man who appeared to be all I could want, we got off to a good start, to cut it short I ended up pregnant. ...
A. 21 July 2007: Madam, I very much understand your fear and your pain, and very much want to help.
There is no guarantee that a man is never, ever, going to leave. But, some of us are keepers and do stay the course.
Your fear of being left is not letting you ... (read in full...)
Can you have sex while on your period?
Q. Hi,I'm wat u would call a curious teenager,and i woz just wandering whether it is possible 2 have sex whilst ur on ur period.i no that it probably isn't possible,but i woz just wandering,so n e answers would b much appreciated Thanksx...
A. 21 July 2007: Yes, you can. However, some people would not like it.
In case this is the reason behind your question, it is possible to become impregnated during your period. If you don't want babies (and you shouldn't, at your age), use contrace... (read in full...)
My manly man likes to see she-male porn! Is this a common fetish for men?
Q. My husband of five years is looking at shemales. He's always had a healthy sexual appetite. However, he has been less interested in me lately and has been acting suspicious so I started monitering his computer. He looks at craig's list everyday, ...
A. 21 July 2007: I'm straight and not attracted to shemales. I think it's safe to say that the straight men I know are not attracted to shemales, either. For all the straight men I know, and for the gay ones I've met, also, a person with a penis is, in the end, a ... (read in full...)
We have the makings of a wonderful relationship. How should I approach this with him without scaring him off?
Q. My boyfriend of almost a year and a half broke up with me 9 months ago. We were long distance (the reason for the break up says he), and now he's moving back. We've stayed friends and get along extremely well, plus I am completely in love with him. ...
A. 21 July 2007: You sound like a fine and caring girl. And he already had a relationship with you, broke up, and then comes again. So I think it's pretty well established that you're not the problem. He needs to overcome his fears.
Since he sees you as a fri... (read in full...)
I have trouble accepting dates with guys! Why am I this way?
Q. I am always thinking that I would like a boyfriend to love me and stuff, and I fancy a nice boy, but then when he asked me out i felt sick and couldn't face him. Now i do not fancy him at all, but he still likes me. this has also happened once ...
A. 21 July 2007: You're afraid of something. I assume you've never had a "proper" boyfriend before. Maybe you need to give yourself a break and be willing to have a new experience.... (read in full...)
Should the top of one's penis always hurt when you ejaculate?
Q. is it meant to kind of hurt on top of your penis everytime u ejaculate???...
A. 21 July 2007: No, it isn't. If it hurts, you have done something wrong.... (read in full...)
I'm heartbroken. He dumped me for his online gf! What can I do?
Q. I have a problem my boyfriend of over 8yrs broke up with me.we have been together since Jan 3rd 1999, and I was his first love,and sex partner.I was his first everything and the first serious relationship.all he said was that you loves me and cares ...
A. 20 July 2007: Somewhere in the text you wrote "stupid me". You were not stupid: you were simply in love. Love makes us put up with things we would normally not put up with. You should not think bad about yourself. You gave yourself away, and put all of your ... (read in full...)
Going through puberty experiences and wondering, if I might be gay. Any advice?
Q. Hi im chris, 11 and (jeez this is nerveracking) i am really getting deep into my puberty such as a different voice and really getting tall in short times and other things that id rather not say. Recently i have had very tight stomach feelings and I ...
A. 20 July 2007: Yep, I agree with LauraE. You're gay when you're into sex with other men exclusively; you're not gay for looking at yourself to check on the changes you're going through.
In short: Don't worry.... (read in full...)
He's more experienced and I am a virgin. Not ready for sex yet, but do I take this further?
Q. I've been seeing this guy for about five months now and I guess things are going good. It's tough because there is an age gap and he is ALOT more experienced then I am. Anyways I'm still a virgin and as of right now I'm not ready for sex. I'm still ...
A. 20 July 2007: I have a question: how many years your senior is he?... (read in full...)
It's like we are together, but technically we are not! How do I know if he likes me?
Q. Theres this guy. And i really like him. And we flirt all the time but i know that doesnt mean that he likes me. but we get along so well. and he tries to make moves but teachers will come or friends will interupt and i think he gets a little ...
A. 20 July 2007: You should try to find out for sure what he is up to.
It seems to me that either a) he just wants close friendship, or b) he is interested but is afraid his telling you would spoil the friendship. You know, he gives you a lot of attentio... (read in full...)
He looks at skinnier girls! Does he want a girl, that is better looking than me?
Q. I have been with my guy for about a year and a half and he always looks at other girls that look better then me. They are skinnier then me and they are hot and I get jealous but i just feel like he dont find me attractive anymore and it hurts. I ...
A. 20 July 2007: You know, men are visual beings: we like to look at beauty. And we need less than a second to measure up a girl. Everyone, girls included, occasionally looks at someone else, and yes, finds these people attractive, but that doesn't mean the love ... (read in full...)
Tested my boyfriend with texts from a "mystery admirer"... and he's arranged a date with her!
Q. I've been seeing on and off (cos of lack of time) this guy for 3years. He was and says he is so into me loves me very much; in the past i found 'his love' a bit suffocating. However recently I decided that i will give a good go to a relationship ...
A. 20 July 2007: The civilized peace you mention is worth in itself and I would go for it. After all, you had a love relationship. Sometimes problems like the one you had are good, in a way, because they expose what is not working well, and, with the right ... (read in full...)
Is this a relationship worth pursuing or am I just wasting my time?
Q. I Have been seeing my boyfriend for nearly 4 years now, 4 or 5 times a week and we mostly enjoy ourselves, we phone every night,we have a good sex life and share all or interests. There are problems that prevent us from taking our relationship a ...
A. 20 July 2007: Your question is whether you should stay with this guy for years until you can live with your boyfriend. You describe the problems you have to commit to a higher level so far. On this basis, I think it's actually very hard to answer whether you ... (read in full...)
How can I help my friend here?
Q. I'm 21, and my friend's 19. She got married 6 months ago to a 40-year-old man who she's been with since she was 17 - and said that they married for love not money (he was a nice guy who was a builder, and said he wasn't wealthy, just lives a good l...
A. 20 July 2007: This is a May to December relationship that's gone awfully wrong in only six months. Obviously it doesn't work.
I am amazed that the man has lost his interest in sex after so short a time.
You suggest that your friend only recently has tak... (read in full...)
We have been together for 10 months but we happen to fight like every couple does but the thing is he always blames it on me...
Q. I need some advice on whether or not I should stay with my boyfriend. We have been together for 10 months but we happen to fight like every couple does. But the thing is he always blames it on me, I tell him not to be mean to me and he tells me to ...
A. 20 July 2007: Flower girl has just said what you need to know.
You don't have to be what he wants you to be, just because you're his first love. And, you know, you don't fight like every couple does. Your situation is not that of every couple. It is unhealth... (read in full...)
Guys always ask me out when I just want to be friends and then it ruins the friendship
Q. Hey guys, I need some advice. The thing is that every time I want to be mates with a guy they always end up asking me out and I hate this. When they ask me out I say no or whatever and then our friendship seems to always end there and I can't be the ...
A. 19 July 2007: So you say you're average. I'm sure this is not the way males see you. Maybe your looks are "average", if that exists, but I bet there's something about you.... (read in full...)
Are you single? Please reply here!
Q. Hi everyone Andrew, site guy here.. Just doing a poll to see how many visitors to the site are SINGLE and would be interested in a (free, of course) DearCupid dating service. Just reply to this post. Thanks! A....
A. 19 July 2007: I agree with Dr Pete and Irish 49. A separate dating site would be best. Also, I believe any agony aunt dating someone should refrain, or be forbidden from, contacting any agony niece of nephew. I believe this in line with the very good arguments ... (read in full...)
I'm 14 and I'm scared to have sex with my 17 year old boyfriend; he wants me to get pregnant!
Q. i am a 14 year old girl and i am going out with a seventeen year old boy and i am stuck in a situation because he wants to have sex with me but im scared because i do not no what to do when having sex!!and he said that he wants to get me pregnant ...
A. 19 July 2007: Call me old fashioned, but you're too young to have sex or get pregnant. If the guy you're going out with isn't a bad person, then he's stupid. Sex should be out of the question, and babys... he thinks a baby is like a game.
DON'T give in to se... (read in full...)
After a relationship ends does the partner ever eventually regret leaving the person that gave them everything?
Q. They say that being nice never gets you anywhere. In my past relationships I have always been the 'nice' person and never got the same in return, instead I got walked over. After a relationship ends, does the partner eventually regret leaving the ...
A. 18 July 2007: The posters have said it all. Sometimes they do, sometimes they don't. I think the underlying feeling here is, whether he might eventually come back to you; or, whether he will ever appreciate what he had. You know, your value as a person in love ... (read in full...)
Is he having an emotional affair with his ex?
Q. Me and my bf have been going out for nearly two years now. As we live nearly an hour apart, i only get to see him at weekends. During the week when we are not seeing each other we talk almost all day via instant messenger. I have recently found ...
A. 18 July 2007: Eyeswideopen is right.... (read in full...)
How do I adjust from being a boyfriend to being a friend?
Q. Hey all, yes, by Christ it's me again. As a lot of you know, this is my situation: 2 years relationship Coped with distance of 200+ miles Ended just over 3 weeks ago, suddenly. There's been some development over the past couple of days. We...
A. 18 July 2007: Don't close the issue just yet. Mine is only an opinion, and I did not intend to be judgmental or mocking, but to make it light for you. I know what you're going through. Wait until other people have made their comments. You know, they often ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend says I have caused him too much pain by not trusting him
Q. I have been in 3yr relationship w/my boyfriend.I have been very untrusting of him.He told me several times to stop but I didn't and now because of my trust issues I have driven him away, he won't be affectionate at all to me, says I've hurt him and ...
A. 18 July 2007: You know, when a man in love goes away, it's often for good. So, you start with bad prospects.
If you were unstrusting of him and he wasn't to blame, then you are. You need to understand that no person is responsible for other person's actions.... (read in full...)
He broke up with me to have sex with another girl and now wants me back
Q. Dear Cupid, I am a 16 year old female. I have been dating the same guy for about 2 years now. We get along great and we really love each other. But he is afraid of commitment, so when he gets scared or needs space he just breaks up with me. But ...
A. 18 July 2007: You know, I think you should not let people break up with you at will. As I see it, this guy either wants you, as you are, on the terms you both agree, or he doesn't. He can't break up for a few days just to prevent you from complaining about his ... (read in full...)
We are trying to be friends, but I think he still likes me
Q. Need help again! My boyfriend and I broke up 3 months ago now because he's afraid of commitment but up until yesterday I finally ended all communication with him for the 4th time. But also at the same time, he keeps telling me that I could always ...
A. 18 July 2007: I understand the relationship was broken because he was afraid of commitment. So, my guess is, it was you who broke it. He wouldn't give you what you wanted.
You say this is the fourth time you stopped all communication with him. I'm afraid y... (read in full...)
Guys always ask me out when I just want to be friends and then it ruins the friendship
Q. Hey guys, I need some advice. The thing is that every time I want to be mates with a guy they always end up asking me out and I hate this. When they ask me out I say no or whatever and then our friendship seems to always end there and I can't be the ...
A. 18 July 2007: Again, penta is giving very good advice. I just disagree with her about the "body language". I think there's more to it. You know, if EVERY male friend falls for you, the obvious answer is, you're extremely attractive. And this doesn't have to ... (read in full...)
How can I make my vagina dry so that my husband wont want to have sex with me?
Q. I've been married for 16 1/2 years. We've had great sex,but lately I'm not interested in having it with him.He's very controlling in the bedroom he wants it every night.And the problem I have is my vagina is very wet at night and he loves it.Ho...
A. 18 July 2007: Penta has it just right.... (read in full...)
Should I be upset that my boyfriend watches porn on the internet?
Q. Should I be upset that my boyfriend watches porn on the internet? Ok, so my boyfriend of 10 months every night before he goes to bed goes to at least 3 porn websites and masturbates. I am kinda uncomfortable that he watches naked women while I am ...
A. 18 July 2007: I'm not sure if you "should" be upset, but I would understand if you were. We've been having a lot of discussions in this regard, and we've found that some women don't care if their males watch porn and/or masturbate, while others do care, and very ... (read in full...)
Is it normal to only want to have sex with the lights on?
Q. My boyfriend can only have sex with the lights on. He doesn't know how anyone can do it if they "can't see anything." Is this normal? Do most men actually prefer doing it with the lights on?...
A. 18 July 2007: Preferences vary, and I wonder if this is what most men would prefer. But, you know, I think he has a point: he wants to see you. We need visual stimulation. And, maybe he very much likes what he sees.
If you don't like this, maybe you can ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesnt want to use spermacide because he says it is painful for the girl. Is that true?
Q. Hi There People,I Have Just A Quick Question. My Biggest Fear Is Getting Pregnant, But Im SO In Love With MY Boyfriend (and he loves me too :) ) That We Started Having Sex The Problem Is, I'm Getting On The Pill But I Want To Be Safer Than That ...
A. 18 July 2007: Penta is right.... (read in full...)
How do I adjust from being a boyfriend to being a friend?
Q. Hey all, yes, by Christ it's me again. As a lot of you know, this is my situation: 2 years relationship Coped with distance of 200+ miles Ended just over 3 weeks ago, suddenly. There's been some development over the past couple of days. We...
A. 18 July 2007: You should find yourself a job in the Army as a minesweeper. You do like to put yourself in difficult situations. But, I understand your issues, and I'm here to help.
It will hurt like hell to be her friend if you still love her. This is not w... (read in full...)
We used to get together all the time, now she says she is too tired or busy!
Q. I have started a new relationship with a woman of 28 and I am 36. We got together just under 3 months ago, she works for a customer of mine and asked me out after and we got on very well. Everything started out fine. I visited her after work, we ...
A. 18 July 2007: I see you're seriously, and very much, interested in this girl. I bet you were very happy to give her all the time you could. You think she's well worth it, and you would give her even more time if you could. She says you should get some friends; ... (read in full...)
She's really confusing me, she wants me then she doesn't.
Q. My case's sorta complicated... We started hangin' out a couple months ago, things were going fine 'till she complained to me that she thought I was 'kiddin around' with her. ok things were solved. Things were going well again.. but a little tim...
A. 18 July 2007: I guess it's obvious there are some parts of the relationship which she doesn't like, and she doesn't really want to be with you anymore. When you're in love, you pay attention to the small details that give you hope, and miss the big picture. ... (read in full...)
What is the best way for me to handle this "friend"?
Q. During my adolescent years I had a good friend whom I lost contact with when I temporarily moved overseas. He had difficulty mixing in the same circles of friends and so our time together was often just the two of us. His mother was always very ...
A. 18 July 2007: If you don't want the contact, don't answer the e-mail, never accept an invitation, say a quick, distant hello if you ever come across him, et cetera. He will get it quickly.... (read in full...)
She's nice but I don't fancy her, but she FANCIES ME!!!
Q. A friend of mine introduced me to a French exchange student who's working at her lab this summer. Recently my friend as well as a number of coworkers have left on vacation. Realizing that she was pretty much alone and that not all that many other ...
A. 18 July 2007: Well, I hope everything works out just fine, for you and her.... (read in full...)
Should I try to talk to him about the little white lies?
Q. I have just started dating this guy and when we were talking about honesty, he mentioned that he has told 'little white lies' in the past. I agree with him that everyone does it from time to time, but I don't know how to feel! I don't know whether ...
A. 17 July 2007: I agree with Carina on how to manage the situation. I just want to add a little something: if I said I have never told a white lie, would that make me more trustworthy?
Of course not. Everyone has told a white lie sometime. Maybe you have com... (read in full...)
They call or text a few times and then just stop. What am I doing wrong?
Q. Ive had enough of meeting men who I really fall for and then they dont contact me. Theres been a couple of guys over the past 2 months who Ive met whilst out with friends. At the time they seem to be really interested in me, we swap numbers and text ...
A. 17 July 2007: I don't think I can really know why these guys stop calling you. I also think that YummyMummy's and NuVu's posts are just fine. I just would add something: check what you're doing wrong. Don't just play hard to get; if you work hard to get ... (read in full...)
Is she just on the rebound with me?
Q. My good friend of 2 years and his girlfriend, who I've been friends with for 6 months, just broke up. And now she's going out with me and he's upset about it. She broke up with him because she has a lot of issues of her own and so did he, so sh...
A. 17 July 2007: Maybe there's nothing to this, and maybe yes, she's on the rebound. You'll know with time. My advice: take it slowly. As flower girl said, she's with you now. She seems very interested. Don't spoil a relationship with early suspicions. That ... (read in full...)
He says he is ok with me wanting to with him or someone else. He doesnt care either way!
Q. I just got back with my boyfriend of two years after a month and a half break-up. Now he says that he learned that he doesn't own me so that's why he doesn't care if I was with someone else because I can do whatever I want. He says that if I want to ...
A. 17 July 2007: If it was you who came with the idea of the break-up, he was hurt badly and now he may be trying to say his world wouldn't end if you left again.
If it was him who had the idea, well, he isn't really interested in you anymore.... (read in full...)
She's nice but I don't fancy her, but she FANCIES ME!!!
Q. A friend of mine introduced me to a French exchange student who's working at her lab this summer. Recently my friend as well as a number of coworkers have left on vacation. Realizing that she was pretty much alone and that not all that many other ...
A. 16 July 2007: I have to disagree a bit with the second poster about the "wishful thinking". Sometimes people can honestly mistake a friendly gesture for a gesture of love. She is not a bad girl because she fancies you, is she? If your answer is yes, then you ... (read in full...)
She's nice but I don't fancy her, but she FANCIES ME!!!
Q. A friend of mine introduced me to a French exchange student who's working at her lab this summer. Recently my friend as well as a number of coworkers have left on vacation. Realizing that she was pretty much alone and that not all that many other ...
A. 15 July 2007: I think you should simply behave as a friend. You know, it's only normal that she likes you. Maybe you should be flattered. If she eventually talks about her feelings, or gives you a strong hint about them, you will be able to deal with this in ... (read in full...)
Tested my boyfriend with texts from a "mystery admirer"... and he's arranged a date with her!
Q. I've been seeing on and off (cos of lack of time) this guy for 3years. He was and says he is so into me loves me very much; in the past i found 'his love' a bit suffocating. However recently I decided that i will give a good go to a relationship ...
A. 10 July 2007: All right, Butterflyfly. We don't know when you'll find the right guy, but I hope you do find him. I hope we've helped you.... (read in full...)
Tested my boyfriend with texts from a "mystery admirer"... and he's arranged a date with her!
Q. I've been seeing on and off (cos of lack of time) this guy for 3years. He was and says he is so into me loves me very much; in the past i found 'his love' a bit suffocating. However recently I decided that i will give a good go to a relationship ...
A. 9 July 2007: I'm with you, Butterflyfly. Only he who has never been through the horrible experience of finding out someone is cheating can disagree with the reason for the testing.
I think you're doing things the right way: you are giving him an option. ... (read in full...)
Tested my boyfriend with texts from a "mystery admirer"... and he's arranged a date with her!
Q. I've been seeing on and off (cos of lack of time) this guy for 3years. He was and says he is so into me loves me very much; in the past i found 'his love' a bit suffocating. However recently I decided that i will give a good go to a relationship ...
A. 9 July 2007: Well, with the information you give, it's obvious he was not just curious about knowin who his mistery admirer is. I'm happy to see that you and I are in the same wavelength, but now I want to add something. I'm with you, not in the test itself,... (read in full...)
Tested my boyfriend with texts from a "mystery admirer"... and he's arranged a date with her!
Q. I've been seeing on and off (cos of lack of time) this guy for 3years. He was and says he is so into me loves me very much; in the past i found 'his love' a bit suffocating. However recently I decided that i will give a good go to a relationship ...
A. 8 July 2007: I agree that you shouldn't play this games. However, I also think there is a reason for you to. If he constantly says he loves you and you found reason not to believe him, there is a problem here.
I also think he should not go with this game, le... (read in full...)
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