A
female
age
30-35,
*rustratedgirl88
writes:Dear Cupid,I am a 16 year old female. I have been dating the same guy for about 2 years now. We get along great and we really love each other. But he is afraid of commitment, so when he gets scared or needs space he just breaks up with me. But then after a few days he starts to miss me alot.So odviously I always take him back, and i feel like i am being a doormat or im too easy on him. But when we break up for those couple days/weeks he talks to this "girl" that he has known since preschool.The first time we broke up my boyfriend and this "girl" just kissed and talked for a while. Then he lied to me about it and we got back together. I found out and flipped out on him. But we worked it all out.This past few days he broke up with me and then he had sex with that "girl" but he told me about it and said it didnt mean anything and he was really sorry. He cried, cried, and cried. He calls me like every few hours aplogizing. He really wants me back. But I dont know if i can forgive him after him having sex with that "girl". But I really do love him.What do I do??? Please help me. =(
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2008): dont take him back trust me my friend has had the same problem f**k him its his fault for doin that dont take him back for the 100 time if not he will know that when he has made a mistake he will just say oh i could tell her that im sorry and make my self cry ...then shell take me back ..so show him that ur not easy....
A
male
reader, Andy00  +, writes (19 July 2007):
 In my opinion, he doesn't deserve you.
It's one thing to break up with you just through merely discussing commitment, but to keep going back to this "other girl" everytime, and ontop of that, have Sex with her, is just down right disgraceful.
It takes two to be in a relationship as it is. You want a serious relationship, but at this time, he isn't mature enough to want one himself. Simply put, he shouldn't be with you. You should find somebody who in time may want the same as you, and above all else (if things shouldn't work out), somebody who won't go and sleep with somebody else immediately after.
Hun, if he loved you, he would not be able to just break things off and then jump into somebody else's bed. If he's crying and apologizing now it just goes to show the guy is pretty confused, and he can't handle relationships well. It's gonna take time for him to learn how to handle relationships better, but based on his actions, you already deserve better than that.
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A
female
reader, e4r +, writes (18 July 2007):
for someone your age you sound very mature. i think you know that you cant trust him. its unfair of him to walk out on you when things get a littlt bit too tough for him. you have two choices. you can either sit down talk to him and tell him how it makes you feel when he leaves and how it made you feel when you found out about this girl. if you do this then you need to be sure before you take him back that nothing is gonna happen with them again. or you can walk away now. you dont need to put up with anything. you need to find the guy that loves you unconditionally and would never dream of hurting you. the ones that make you cry are not worth your tears and the ones that are worth your tears wont be the ones that make you cry.good luck and i hope it all works out for you whatever you decide to do
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2007): hunny,
If he is acting this way now, why will it change in the future...
He always breaks it off goes off with this girl and then wants you back, Im sorry but I dont think he really knows what he wants, but sweety he canot keep using you this way, he really needs to sort it out and as long as you are there then he has no worrys really... Take some time for you and go out with your mates and have a good think if this is how you want your life to continue and if you really are happy, as the trust has been broken more than once.... Have some you time TAKE CARE LOVE MANDY XXXXXXXXXX
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A
male
reader, _Edward_ +, writes (18 July 2007):
 Well, it looks like you guys are not ready to take your relation to the next step…try to date other people for a little bit…or just make him feel bad about what he did, get him to learn his lesson, tall him that you just cant handle the pain of him having sex with another girl…tall him that your fine with braking up for a little bit…but if he loves you he will stop having intercourse with other girls…but don’t be to hard on him…and see were this is going to go…
I hope every thing works out for you two… =)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2007): Trust me you are not the doormat she is if every time yall break up he has to go to that same old girl. Then that just mean his a child not a man if he has to go to one single person and work it out with them instead of being a good boyfriend and talk it out with you he ain't worth getting back with leave him be if he is so big and bad that he can go have sex with her every time yall break up then he can be big and bad to not ask you to give him another chance and you know you can do better than him trust i did better than my ex boyfriends.
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A
female
reader, rockelle +, writes (18 July 2007):
 In my opinion this guy is playing both sides of the fence, to be honest it seems like he breaks up with you to see other girls, he is not ready for a relationship. Do yourself a favor and tell him "you need some space" or "maybe I should explore other options". You are 16 these are the best years of your life so call up some friends you haven't hung out with in a while go out and have a good time, life is too short to stress over some guy who doesn't respect you and your feelings. Remember love should'nt have to hurt.
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A
female
reader, AuntySophster +, writes (18 July 2007):
 Frustrated Girl,
He is quite blatantly using you, and he obviousy knows that he can take advantage and that you will always take him back.
Well my answer is.... don't! ..He doesnt deserve you, He is not giving you any respect.. And quite honestly, you should have more self respect than to take him back!.. You are young, and there are plenty of guys out there!
A.S xx
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A
female
reader, beckicita  +, writes (18 July 2007):
Each time you take him back you reinforce that it is okay to treat you like this. You know that saying 'Fool me once shame on you, Fool me twice shame on me' Well anyways kick this guy to the curb. He seems confused about you and this other girl and as long as he can get the best of both worlds meaning that
you take him back it is good for a short while he feels the need to run back to this other girl gets what he needs then comes running back to you. Dump him.
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A
female
reader, penta +, writes (18 July 2007):
 I'm sorry, but he IS treating you like a doormat. If he needs to "date other people" he should be honest about it. Breaking up with you do date around then asking you to take him back is disrespectful.
You two should either agree to date other people, or you should break up once and for all. This half-in-half-out will only break your heart. Don't let him treat you this way.
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A
female
reader, jtaunton5410 +, writes (18 July 2007):
 Okay, He cannot just push you away when he doesnt want a GF and pullyou back when he does, That is just screwing up all of your emotions. You need to tell him that he needs to choose because someday when he wants to reel you back in you may not get back with him once and for all.
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A
female
reader, mwest +, writes (18 July 2007):
Hey hun! In all honesty, I think you should move on from him. He doesn't deserve you one bit. He obviously wants his cake and eat it too. Believe me, I know its going to be hard because you really do like this guy but your so young and have so many more experiences to endure. There are plenty of guys out there that are going to respect and treat you better than this guy is doing. I'm kinda actually going through the samething with my ex but I had to put my foot down now because he still wanted to be friends with me while he was dating someone else. Plus, he also has commitment issues and that is why we broke up. I think, if you really and truly want to be with this guy, you have to cut all ties with him for now and see how he responds to that. If you really mean something to him, he will come back to you. That's what I had to do with my ex. If you need any more advice, I'm here for you! Take care!
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (18 July 2007):
 You know, I think you should not let people break up with you at will. As I see it, this guy either wants you, as you are, on the terms you both agree, or he doesn't. He can't break up for a few days just to prevent you from complaining about his having sex with the other girl.
I'm not too sure he really loves you. Breaking up so often, for the reasons you gave, is not what a loving person does.
I'm sure you love him. You know, I read once that "love is unconditional, but relationships are not". If you want this guy back, make sure he understands this is his last chance. And that he won't be getting any other.
If you feel you can't forgive him, then just say no to him.
Hope this helps.
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