A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:Need help again! My boyfriend and I broke up 3 months ago now because he's afraid of commitment but up until yesterday I finally ended all communication with him for the 4th time. But also at the same time, he keeps telling me that I could always call him whenever if I ever needed to talk and that he'll always be here for me. A few days ago while we were emailing each other, he asked me if I met any guys when I was out the other night and then he said, "okay, don't tell me I don't want to know". He's already dating someone else so I can't understand why he would ask me that question and why would he still want to talk to me if he was dating someone else? I told him maybe one day we can be friends in the future but I need to get over him first. Any opinions and advice on this because I've never been in this situration before with a guy. Thanks for your help!
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male
reader, DJ8433 +, writes (18 July 2007):
 It sounds like you've made your decision and already know what needs to be done. Good job, you are obviously the more mature one here. One more thing. Some men are territorial, and stupidly decide after they break it off that they want you because you show interest in someone else. I don't think that it's necessarily a "love" force that drives this need, it's more of a "controlling" force. Be careful to use the measurement of "love is a verb" to determine if he loves you or just doesn't want another man to have you.
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (18 July 2007):
 I understand the relationship was broken because he was afraid of commitment. So, my guess is, it was you who broke it. He wouldn't give you what you wanted.
You say this is the fourth time you stopped all communication with him. I'm afraid you're contradicting yourself. The first three times, obviously communication was not stopped. I don't say this as a criticism. I just want to show where you stand.
Then, he offers his friendship, is interested in whether you're seeing someone, et cetera, and you tell him you can be his friend AFTER you're over him.
I think you're still in love with him, and you wish he came back to you with the commitment you wanted. You have a feeling that, maybe, his offers of friendship and his interest in knowing whether you're seeing someone are indications of this. I'm not sure this is the case. Maybe he's simply offering you more of the same. If you broke up with him, he was comfortable with the relationship as it was, and YOU weren't.
If you want to be sure, maybe you should ask him directly whether he would commit to you in another try. Maybe he would take you again, and you'd be happy for a while; but you need to know for sure.
This is what you need for closure. Once you find out what his intentions really are, you'll either be with him, or move on. I guess this is what you need to do. Doubt is the worst enemy.
I hope this helps.
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