A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Should I be upset that my boyfriend watches porn on the internet? Ok, so my boyfriend of 10 months every night before he goes to bed goes to at least 3 porn websites and masturbates. I am kinda uncomfortable that he watches naked women while I am asleep. Even after we have sex I will go to sleep and then he will masturbate again whenever he wants to. He tells me that I am excellent in bed but I still think about what he does while I am in the other room asleep. If this is a normal thing for guys then I will try to not let it bother me, but if this is out of control I need someone to tell me that what he is doing is wrong. Thanks everyone.
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male
reader, daglous  +, writes (22 July 2007):
 well most of us men suffer with this problem of wanting to see whats underneath the knicker all the time.But when we get women as in a girlfriend a sensible man would appreciate what his girl has as the only porn, if u like, he should ever see. so if he cant have his urge cooled by watching and having u naked then sthing is wrong.So you should try to have sex with him with lights on so that his eyes can get to turn away from the monitor. in otherwords make sure u act as his porn everytime he feels like watching some and romping thereafter. This will save ur relationship from this cancer.. Daniel in Kampala
A
female
reader, penta +, writes (18 July 2007):
 There are several things going on here. Porn, by itself, shouldn't be a problem. Guys like to look, and it doesn't say anything at all about your relationship. (He says you're excellent in bed; believe him.)
The volume concerns me. He may be addicted to sex, or using it as an escape. As long as his computer-viewing doesn't REPLACE his time with you, I wouldn't be concerned -- see: http://www.helpguide.org/mental/internet_cybersex_addiction.htm
As for using the computer -- is it your computer? If so, I'd be pretty angry about it (not the porn, but the use of the computer). Porn sites are notorious for downloading all kinds of unwanted crap -- virus, mal-ware, ad-ware, etc. -- along with the pictures. It causes pop-ups and slows the computer down.
If it's your computer (or a computer you share with him) tell him to get a Playboy and knock it off. Maybe that's your compromise.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (18 July 2007):
 I'm not sure if you "should" be upset, but I would understand if you were. We've been having a lot of discussions in this regard, and we've found that some women don't care if their males watch porn and/or masturbate, while others do care, and very much. You're among the ones who do care, who seem to be numerous.
You can check a lot of the discussions in these links:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/does-porn-bother-you.html
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/to-all-the-women-who-arent-bothered-by.html
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/can-the-dearcupid-men-elaborate-on-their-views.html
For most men, watching porn means NOTHING. It poses no risk for the woman they are with. It's just the thrill.
But, let's talk about your issue. I see he wants more "relief" than you provide. I'm not saying this is bad; I only want to highlight the difference. And he seems to need to watch porn though he has you. I assume he's approximately your age. Maybe he became addicted to porn and this is a hard habit to break.
However, I can see it's difficult that he will masturbate even after having sex with you. That suggests he is not pleased. And I don't think it's polite of him to watch porn while you're sleeping in the room. I think many women will agree with you in feeling upset.
I think you should discuss this matter with him, because, whatever your views on porn, or his, this is affecting the relationship.
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