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This question has 6 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
28 November 2010: Recently, I found this poem by Maya Angelou. I think it pretty well summarizes how women should feel about themselves. Here it is, in case it benefits anyone. PHENOMENAL WOMAN by Maya Angelou Pretty women wonder where my secret lies I'm n...
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This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 December 2008: Something one of my aunts sent me: When I was born, the doctor went to the waiting room and told my father: "We did all we could, but he was born alive". My mom didn't know whether she should keep me or the placenta. Since I was born before ...
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Is not contacting her the best thing? Its making me miserable and ruining any chance we had left!
Q. Tomorrow marks 1 month since my long distance, 2 year relationship was officially called off by my partner, who couldn't handle the distance anymore. I've been very up and down throughout the past month, feeling fairly possitive highs, to lying on ...
A. 26 July 2007: It seems to me she's feeling bad for the breakup. She was in this relationship for two years, also. Since you were seeing each other only once every seven weeks, and she kept it, obviously she was committed to you and to the relationship. Maybe ... (read in full...)
We met up and became intimate, then a few months later, he called it off; what's going on?
Q. I met a man a little more than half a year ago. We live very far from each others, but he was very keen on getting to know me and would call me every day. After a month he traveled to see me again for about a week. During this week we became closer ...
A. 26 July 2007: Yes, certainty is painful but at least gives you a clear sense of direction. This is solid ground on which you will build.
In truth, only if it's so evident can you tell whether someone fancies you or not. So, this is not your mistake. You didn... (read in full...)
My girlfriend told me she's had many flings in the past; what is a fling exactly, as opposed to a serious relationship? I'm worried our relationship might turn into one now
Q. hi, this question might sound pretty basic but it's been bothering me for some time. When I asked my girlfriend (of 2 months) how many relationships she's been in prior to ours, she said that she's been in 2 serious relationships and had a whole lot ...
A. 25 July 2007: You take care, too. I wish you and your girl the best in this world. You know, a partner you can trust, despite what you see as failures, is one of the best things in life.... (read in full...)
He told me I wasn't giving him oral properly and I felt bad; even though he's far too rough with clitoris, I don't want him to feel bad like I did
Q. Hi guys. Help me out a bit please. When my boyfriend plays with me, he sometimes does it too rough on my clit or too much on the reeeeally sensitive bit of my clit. I like it when he plays with me and don't want to just do sometig else so that he ...
A. 25 July 2007: I'm with Stanley Cup.... (read in full...)
Should I become a bit more physical with him in the hope of drawing a commitment from him?
Q. Hi im 16 and i have a male friend whose 18. We used to talk a lot and we even made out, but then he just wanted to be friends because he didnt want to hurt me and after a while he stopped texting me. I finally managed to get him to talk to me, he ...
A. 25 July 2007: I think that making out, or sex, are very bad ways to try to get a man to commit. Commitment does not arise from sex. Some men might take the sex and leave when a responsibility comes up. So, if he won't commit, don't make out with him.... (read in full...)
I worry I might be being played again; do all men act this way after their first sexual contact with a person?
Q. What goes on in a man's head when he's had some sort of sexual contact with his girlfriend for the first time, whether it's oral sex or full sex? I've always regretted splitting up with my first love as he is the only one who has bolted after ...
A. 25 July 2007: I'm not sure whether this question can be answered for all men in general. As Stanley Cup said, there are all types of guys out there.
I do believe I can answer this question making particular reference to your boyfriend. I agree with Stanley ... (read in full...)
Is not contacting her the best thing? Its making me miserable and ruining any chance we had left!
Q. Tomorrow marks 1 month since my long distance, 2 year relationship was officially called off by my partner, who couldn't handle the distance anymore. I've been very up and down throughout the past month, feeling fairly possitive highs, to lying on ...
A. 25 July 2007: Andy, I didn't mean to be hurtful. I know you're not the problem. I was trying to tell you that, if she was not willing to do that, then there was food for your thought. I know you have tried. You're a good man.... (read in full...)
My Russian girlfriend is going away on holiday with another guy
Q. Hi, I have a Russian girlfriend who is about to go away on holiday with a male long term friend! Do you think that I should be cool about this? ...
A. 24 July 2007: I'm with Eddie, as only every so often.... (read in full...)
How far is considered long distance?
Q. Hey all, Just curious to see what people class as a long distance relationship. In terms of travelling 1,2,3hrs.....away? ...
A. 24 July 2007: The physical distance of course plays a role. I'm not sure if it should be measured in terms of time. I would rather measure it in terms of difficulty to be together.
Once, I knew about a couple who were over 1,000 kilometers apart. But, the... (read in full...)
Is not contacting her the best thing? Its making me miserable and ruining any chance we had left!
Q. Tomorrow marks 1 month since my long distance, 2 year relationship was officially called off by my partner, who couldn't handle the distance anymore. I've been very up and down throughout the past month, feeling fairly possitive highs, to lying on ...
A. 24 July 2007: Andy, with the news you give, I have some more comments to make.
You know, personally I think that three hours would not be that heavy a burden to bear if she were really interested. Rather than the physical distance, I think you're in differen... (read in full...)
My husband was having a phone relationship with his first girlfriend; he says it was purely financial but I don't trust him anymore
Q. my husband is having relationship with his first girl friend donah. though they were far from each other (Philippines and UK), they connect only through calls. i confronted both of them, and they admitted that they had relationship. my husband ...
A. 24 July 2007: This is the first time that I hear someone say he has a phone relationship with someone "for financial reasons". I thought I had heard everything!
If you don't trust your husband anymore, I'm afraid the relationship is doomed.... (read in full...)
She teased me last night and now I have pains this morning!
Q. Hi Im new at this so bare with me. My girlfreind slept over at mine last night just the two of us (my parents have gone away for the week). As the night went on things got a little more steamy. We was both being turned on. But due to her being on ...
A. 24 July 2007: I also agree with Anonymous :-).... (read in full...)
Is it ok to stay in a relationship that has not commitment until I find something better?
Q. I am involved in a relationship that has no commitment. I have been questioning whether I should continue or go find a guy that is willing to commit. I get my self all worked up to tell him that Im not going to keep having sex and this ...
A. 24 July 2007: In principle, yes, it's not the best. But, apparently you two can manage. I think you two are in the relationship just for the company and the attraction.... (read in full...)
Is not contacting her the best thing? Its making me miserable and ruining any chance we had left!
Q. Tomorrow marks 1 month since my long distance, 2 year relationship was officially called off by my partner, who couldn't handle the distance anymore. I've been very up and down throughout the past month, feeling fairly possitive highs, to lying on ...
A. 24 July 2007: Andy00, I was among those who recommended you to stay away from her. So, I feel responsible for what you're going through now, and I think it's only correct that I come back and say a few things to you.
You know the phrase "I've been there". ... (read in full...)
We met up and became intimate, then a few months later, he called it off; what's going on?
Q. I met a man a little more than half a year ago. We live very far from each others, but he was very keen on getting to know me and would call me every day. After a month he traveled to see me again for about a week. During this week we became closer ...
A. 24 July 2007: Oblivia, I very much understand and share your fear of having done something to scare him off, and I also understand that you want to understand whether there was something you did wrong, et cetera. I've been there myself and know exactly what you ... (read in full...)
He was with another girl while we were on a break
Q. Im 16 years old my ex boyrfriend and I were together for 7.5 months. We did argue sometimes but never anything serious. There was always this girl that really bothered me that he used to hang out with, so while he went to go see his friends she text ...
A. 24 July 2007: LauraE is right.... (read in full...)
I think about having sex w/ him all the time, but don't want to do it when he's actually around!
Q. Dear Cupid, im a 19yr old female and i just need some general advise really on my thoughts and feelings - well ive been with my b/f now for a month (we dated for a year but then broke up, now were together again) well i think about having sex with ...
A. 24 July 2007: I think you don't really like this guy, and that explains everything.... (read in full...)
She teased me last night and now I have pains this morning!
Q. Hi Im new at this so bare with me. My girlfreind slept over at mine last night just the two of us (my parents have gone away for the week). As the night went on things got a little more steamy. We was both being turned on. But due to her being on ...
A. 24 July 2007: The pain might come from the fact that you didn't ejaculate. Sometimes it does produce some pain.
The other part was a sex game and that might be fun. But, next time, tell her you had a pain in your testicle. She won't play that game again.... (read in full...)
I met a great guy during a break with my boyfriend, but mistakenly thought he wasnt interested and got back with my boyfriend
Q. I got with my boyfriend last October and we had a lovely time together, but it came to a head in April when I realised he was just too childish for me. I then met someone else in that time who lives about 2 hours away but share a lot in common with. ...
A. 24 July 2007: If you don't want to be with your boyfriend, do break up with him. This is the right thing to do.
Once you've broken up with him, take the chance with the other guy. Maybe he does fancy you.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend seems to have control issues; he said he needs time to think. How much time?
Q. Dear cupid, I am in love with a man 12 yrs my senior. We have been dating for close to 11 months now. We have great chemistry have had alot of good times together. On the other hand we have had some drama as he calls it. His pace is a little s...
A. 24 July 2007: Happy to hear that :-).... (read in full...)
My girlfriend told me she's had many flings in the past; what is a fling exactly, as opposed to a serious relationship? I'm worried our relationship might turn into one now
Q. hi, this question might sound pretty basic but it's been bothering me for some time. When I asked my girlfriend (of 2 months) how many relationships she's been in prior to ours, she said that she's been in 2 serious relationships and had a whole lot ...
A. 24 July 2007: There is no way out of such a promise. However, I think the possible outcomes can be:
1) She finds out she doesn't really want to be with you, and she walks away.
2) You do work something out.
3) You find you don't really want to be with h... (read in full...)
My girlfriend told me she's had many flings in the past; what is a fling exactly, as opposed to a serious relationship? I'm worried our relationship might turn into one now
Q. hi, this question might sound pretty basic but it's been bothering me for some time. When I asked my girlfriend (of 2 months) how many relationships she's been in prior to ours, she said that she's been in 2 serious relationships and had a whole lot ...
A. 24 July 2007: The Webster's Dictionary defines a fling as "a casual and brief love affair".
I don't think her many flings make her a slut. If she is committed to you, well, that's what counts.
You should not think about her previous relationships. ... (read in full...)
I produce a lot of pre-cum and it's embarassing! What can I do about it?
Q. Hello. im only 15 and im new to sex. the problem im having is that i seem to be pre-cumin all the Time!! when me and my girlfriend are just laying side by side and im feeling her up or something like that or something that may get me erect, i ...
A. 24 July 2007: You should enjoy yourself.... (read in full...)
I'm happy with my relationship as it is; I don't see the need to get married. Is this wrong of me?
Q. Hi, My question is, is it wrong not to marry a man I have dated for 11 years? We have had our ups and downs and have always gotten back together because of how strong our love was for each other. I was controlled by my ex-husband. My ex cheat...
A. 24 July 2007: If he is fine with this, then you shouldn't worry. I suppose he will not insist in marrying you if you maintain the same level of commitment you have to him.... (read in full...)
I'm the 'other man'; should I pull away and see if she leaves him for me?
Q. I am in a love triangle where im the other man. I know none of her friends or family and she has been in a relationship for about few years that has run most its course. Been seeing her 6 months on/off. I know she is not happy as she made choices to ...
A. 24 July 2007: Right. And if you stay away from her, for the time being, you will give her a chance to sort her own life out. Which is what should have happened before you two got involved.... (read in full...)
He said 'Good Girl' as i was giving him oral.
Q. I have several problems that I am not sure how to deal with. Firstly, I am concerned that I am getting too intimate with my boyfriend too soon (I feel this was the problem in my previous relationship even though we had known each other for year...
A. 24 July 2007: I haven't seen you but I like you very much. I will do my best to help you, madam.
I know that so many women recommend not being willing to have sex early in the relationship. The idea is, if he gets it so easily, he'll think you're loose, a... (read in full...)
Size 34A bust; men, what are your opinions?
Q. MEN ANSWER PLEASE!...i have size 34A breast's i was woundering what you really think of this!?...
A. 24 July 2007: Andy00 has given you a very good opinion. I back him. You're likely to find just so many men who will like them and just so many others who won't. You don't have value as a female only according to your breast size.... (read in full...)
I caught my husband cheating with his best friend; now he wants an open relationship with her and I. I can't accept it, what should I do? I'm desperate
Q. I recently caught my husband and best friend in an affair that as it turns out has been going on for seven years. She has always been around the house several times a week for the entire time. I thought something was going on about 4 years ago and ...
A. 24 July 2007: No, my dear Desperate, this situation can't work. Basically, your husband has asked you to accept his cheating. Some people can do that, but I don't think you can.
I see you think you don't have any choices. I think you have one: don't sl... (read in full...)
He has a fear of commitment as well and thinks right now just isn't a good time but possibly in the future.
Q. So just recently I decided it was time to end a relationship after almost a year. Don't get me wrong we never fought and we got along so well. Basically I just didn't feel like a top priority in his life and he never said I love you. We talked about ...
A. 24 July 2007: If you gave him time to get to love you, you'd waste your time. As you so rightly said, if you don't know if you love someone or not after a year, you might never know. I think you should move on. Let him sort his life out; you go out and live ... (read in full...)
What's the difference between a circumsised penis and one that's not?
Q. Whats the difference between a cut and uncut penis ??...
A. 24 July 2007: The difference is the presence of the prepuce. In case you don't know, the prepuce is the skin that covers the glans of the penis (the head of it). An uncircumcised male can retract this skin back and forth; a circumcised male can't, as the skin ... (read in full...)
We met up and became intimate, then a few months later, he called it off; what's going on?
Q. I met a man a little more than half a year ago. We live very far from each others, but he was very keen on getting to know me and would call me every day. After a month he traveled to see me again for about a week. During this week we became closer ...
A. 24 July 2007: I don't think loving him is an overreaction. The short time you knew each other, the time away from each other, the distance, all that means nothing; the only important thing is that you fell for him.
I'm afraid this is not what you want to ... (read in full...)
I'm confused about what my co-worker wants
Q. Ok...So im a little confused... I've been seeing a guy who i work with and im very fond of him, we've been seeing eachother for just over 5 months now and things seemed to be going good, just recently i told him that i'd fallen for him and at some ...
A. 24 July 2007: I wish I could say otherwise, but I'm afraid he was just using you. The minute you want something proper, he keeps his distance. How bad.
You're so confused because you love him, and you wish things were different. And, you're confused because ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend seems to have control issues; he said he needs time to think. How much time?
Q. Dear cupid, I am in love with a man 12 yrs my senior. We have been dating for close to 11 months now. We have great chemistry have had alot of good times together. On the other hand we have had some drama as he calls it. His pace is a little s...
A. 24 July 2007: This is a tough question. You'll always wonder whether you should wait just another day, or just another week. I think the good answer, in this case, is "for as long as you're comfortable". If he comes your way, though, tell him you expect him to ... (read in full...)
My rapist told me it was 'normal and that porn stars do it', so I developed a hatred for porn; yet my boyfriend still looks at magazines
Q. i was raped when i was 9 and the person who did it said it was normal and all the famous porn stars did it. and now i despise porn iv told my boyfriend and he stoped watching it but lately iv found hes been looking at mags and he said he wasn't i ...
A. 23 July 2007: You know, that rapist did more to you than rape you. You are still agonizing over what he said. You know, dear, rape IS NOT normal, and I see you know it. The most pressing need you have, as I see it, is getting over the rape. I'm not sure ... (read in full...)
He won't say 'I love you' or include me in his future plans because he doesn't want to feel 'trapped' but I'm just confused about what he really wants
Q. I have been with a lovely man for just under nine months now and after about 4 months I blurted out I love you which he didnt say back. he treats me very well and is so sweet to me and reliable and says things that he loves about me or loves being ...
A. 23 July 2007: My concern here would not really be the age gap itself, but the different interests he has. I didn't find his words convincing. You gave him the option of going to Australia with you, and he came out with a quick evasive answer. My take is, when ... (read in full...)
Why do some men find commitment so hard?
Q. Why is it so hard for some men to commit to someone that they are dating?...
A. 23 July 2007: I think it's impossible to answer the question in the way it is posted. I don't think the difficulty in commiting that one specific man may have will be exactly the same as that of another specific man. Situations are always different, and people ... (read in full...)
I want to give my ex boyfriend my virginity as a birthday present
Q. well heres the thing. i'm 14. iv'e split up with my boyfriend about a month ago now. but i still love him very much. lately he's started speaking to me again like how things used to be. i asked him what he wanted for his birthday and his answer ...
A. 23 July 2007: You know, dear, I kind of hate this guy for asking MONEY for a birthday present. I'm not sure if you have a similar saying in English, but, in Spanish, we always say that "intention is what counts". If you're offered a present, you usually will ... (read in full...)
Gender confusion and I need some help! Any advice?
Q. Ever since I was younger I have wanted to be female. I'm 19 now and male. I have a girlfriend as I am attracted to females but also am fascinated by wondering what it would feel like to be with anyone with male organs(male/tv etc). Am I gay? Or ...
A. 23 July 2007: Maybe you're bi?... (read in full...)
The condom split and I did get my period. But could I be pregnant still?
Q. hi im 18, last sunday (15th july) i had sex with my boyfriend, but the condom split, i started my period yesterday (22nd july) is there any chance i could be pregnant? or does the period show a definate no? please help...
A. 23 July 2007: I think this is an indication you're not pregnant. Nature has its ways, but I don't think she will play games on you this time. I wouldn't worry.... (read in full...)
Even though he pulled out, could I be pregnant?
Q. Hey there, im 16 and I think im pregnant because 8-9 days ago I was at the peak tym of my cycle and me and my boyfriend had sex a few times but pulled out before he came then on that Sunday night my boyfriend did ejaculate in me so we went to get ...
A. 23 July 2007: There are some questions that I cannot answer (I'm a male), but, yes, you could be pregnant even if he withdraws. That would be somewhat more difficult since you took the pill.... (read in full...)
He doesn't want anyone to know about our relationship! If they do find out, he lies! What should I do?
Q. 22/7/07 I'm 16, my boyfriend says he loves me, wants it to last forever, wnats to marry me, this is all in texts! When i talk to him or see him, he never says it unless we're physical he'll say i love you.. but not in the way i want to hear i...
A. 23 July 2007: I fully agree with eyeswideopen. Why would he hide the fact that he's with you?... (read in full...)
My girlfriend and I broke up recently and I'm suffering from the sex withdrawal
Q. I've recently broke up with my long term girlfriend. Withdrawel is really starting to kick in. I really miss her! Kissing, being together, talking everyday, and last but not least; SEX! I just feel like I want to be doing these things with her ...
A. 23 July 2007: I'm old fashioned, I know, but I feel I can be very direct with a fellow man. Once a relationship ends, the sex ends, too. It can't be otherwise. And if you have passion inside, the urges will come quickly. But, in the end, you have to accept ... (read in full...)
He thinks if we have sex he will lose interest.
Q. I am posting this because i am really looking for non involved opinions and what you all think about this situation. First and foremost I am gay I have just started dating this guy about 3 weeks ago in which we flirted on and off for at least 5 ...
A. 23 July 2007: Yes, there might be a lot of emotions and feelings behind, but I think you should get to the point: eventually, you'll need some sex. And "you" means "you two". If he says all this wonderful things to you, well, he should have the confidence to ... (read in full...)
My close guy friend distanced himself after I found a bf..why?
Q. Hello- I a fairly sure that one of my best friends has abandoned our friendship because I am no longer single. I will describe the situation and perhaps you all can tell me what you think. I met this man several years ago while in college. We bot...
A. 23 July 2007: There is nothing you can do but keep going. HE is avoiding the contact, obviously because he didn't like your being in a relationship. I don't think it would be justified to leave the man you love over your friend, particularly because you don't ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend and I broke up recently and I'm suffering from the sex withdrawal
Q. I've recently broke up with my long term girlfriend. Withdrawel is really starting to kick in. I really miss her! Kissing, being together, talking everyday, and last but not least; SEX! I just feel like I want to be doing these things with her ...
A. 23 July 2007: No. But you'll have to manage.... (read in full...)
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