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She's really confusing me, she wants me then she doesn't.

Tagged as: Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (18 July 2007) 2 Answers - (Newest, 18 July 2007)
A male United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

My case's sorta complicated...

We started hangin' out a couple months ago, things were going fine 'till she complained to me that she thought I was 'kiddin around' with her. ok things were solved. Things were going well again.. but a little time after (a month, perhaps) he started to act all weird to me and stuff, kinda like indifference. When I went to talk about this, she'd always told me that this was not happening, that things were normal. I went again to ask that, and she wanted to end it all...

She told me that she was confused and stuff and it was just a time of her life but sometimes she gives some signs that she wanted to go back again and sometimes not..

please, hele me someone

thanks in advance.

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A female reader, Butterflyfly United Kingdom +, writes (18 July 2007):

Butterflyfly agony auntIf she's giving you mixed signs it may be that she's just that, confused. If she wasn't interested you would not hear a whisper from her, trust me. But also watch out for the possibility of her using you, playing you like an yo=yo. I dont know your particular circumstances, but if she only calls you when she is bored and wants to go out and is all sweet and lovely with you, well that is not a confused person that is just a person who's milking the situation the best she can. But I am only speculating here!

If she told you she thought you were kidding around with her.. that may be her trying to get some reassurance that you are there for her.

IMO, the best thing you can do is to give her some space, let her know that you will be at the end of the phone/etc whenever she is ready and that you certainly respect the way she feels. Don't give ultimatums as these really stress out confussed poeple and she could resent you and chose the easier option, to not get involved with you! Just make a clear concise message that she will understand: you're not giving up on her, you only step back until she is ready, and you would like her to come to you.

Meanwhile you take it easy too and try to have some fun on your own.....

hope this helps xxx

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A male reader, Danielepew Mexico +, writes (18 July 2007):

Danielepew agony auntI guess it's obvious there are some parts of the relationship which she doesn't like, and she doesn't really want to be with you anymore. When you're in love, you pay attention to the small details that give you hope, and miss the big picture. This is natural and human.

I think you should give her space and time to think. If she comes back to you, fine. If she doesn't, fine, too. I know this hurts, but, believe me, this is the best you can do.

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