A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I just got back with my boyfriend of two years after a month and a half break-up. Now he says that he learned that he doesn't own me so that's why he doesn't care if I was with someone else because I can do whatever I want. He says that if I want to be with him that's OK and also if I don't want to be with him. He says that he can't involve his feelings so he wouldn't suffer. This can't be love. Could it be? Reply to this Question
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reader, NuVu +, writes (17 July 2007):
He's protecting himself and its a common thing that many people do. However, at this time he appears to have gone so far in protecting himself that he's actually pushing you away. This isn't healthy for either of you. With a little patience he might come back to you emotionally, but i think it will be hard to get back to what you once were before the breakup. Give it a little time to see if he comes around, but if he doesn't you should move on. However, you might want to clue him in on the fact that if he continues on this path he will never experience the great joy of being emotionally connected with someone again.
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (17 July 2007):
 If it was you who came with the idea of the break-up, he was hurt badly and now he may be trying to say his world wouldn't end if you left again.
If it was him who had the idea, well, he isn't really interested in you anymore.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2007): "He says that he can't involve his feelings so he wouldn't suffer." A typical case of a person who wants to avoid a heartache, he makes his heart unvulnerable, by controlling his emotions. It's his choice and he's being honest about it. The way you paint it, sounds as if he's been hurt in his past, and has taken his precautions. You decide if you will accept his terms hoping things will work in time, AND you must have a brave heart to do so! - or find someone who won't put these sentimental barriers. Why did the relation end initially? If you can do "whatever you want" now, it means he can as well! Talk to him and set some rules. If you wish a long-term relation, let him know that, and decide together if his position can change. Also analyse what has gone wrong in the first place and how it can be remedied. It's not the safest circumstances, take very much care...
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