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This question has 6 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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28 November 2010: Recently, I found this poem by Maya Angelou. I think it pretty well summarizes how women should feel about themselves. Here it is, in case it benefits anyone. PHENOMENAL WOMAN by Maya Angelou Pretty women wonder where my secret lies I'm n...
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This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 December 2008: Something one of my aunts sent me: When I was born, the doctor went to the waiting room and told my father: "We did all we could, but he was born alive". My mom didn't know whether she should keep me or the placenta. Since I was born before ...
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She's nice but I don't fancy her, but she FANCIES ME!!!
Q. A friend of mine introduced me to a French exchange student who's working at her lab this summer. Recently my friend as well as a number of coworkers have left on vacation. Realizing that she was pretty much alone and that not all that many other ...
A. 18 July 2007: Well, I hope everything works out just fine, for you and her.... (read in full...)
He says he is ok with me wanting to with him or someone else. He doesnt care either way!
Q. I just got back with my boyfriend of two years after a month and a half break-up. Now he says that he learned that he doesn't own me so that's why he doesn't care if I was with someone else because I can do whatever I want. He says that if I want to ...
A. 17 July 2007: If it was you who came with the idea of the break-up, he was hurt badly and now he may be trying to say his world wouldn't end if you left again.
If it was him who had the idea, well, he isn't really interested in you anymore.... (read in full...)
He wakes me up for unsatisfying sex - how do I approach him without him getting offended?
Q. My boyfriend wakes me up in the middle of the night to have sex. He pokes me so I can wake up. He does not perform foreplay ever, and I have to get him aroused. Then I must get on top and do all the work, always. I'm really tired of this. He doesn't ...
A. 17 July 2007: Kenny has given a very good opinion. He seems to need to pay more attention to what you need. You know, this is part of being in a relationship. Seems to me he has a one-sided idea of what a relationship should be.... (read in full...)
He's getting over me by pretending like we never existed and ignoring me. But I want to talk to him and get closure!
Q. My relationship of almost 2 years broke up only a few days ago, and naturally I'm heartbroken. I dont consider how he ended it really closure for me, I want to talk to him alone, but our friends told him not to contact me, so when I IM him online, ...
A. 17 July 2007: I very much understand your situation, but it would take two to go through the steps you need, and I'm afraid you won't be given that option.
I have the same feeling you do. Maybe he has someone else already and just doesn't have the time for... (read in full...)
How long after my break-up would the next relationship be considered a "rebound?"
Q. Hey everyone. I've just broken up with my girlfriend of just under 2 years. There's nobody I have my eye on as such, but if there ever were; how long after my break-up would it be considered a "rebound"? I'm told rebounds should be avoided,...
A. 17 July 2007: I think a rebound is when you're not really over someone and you start seeing people just to have sex or to have someone give you affection. To me, the key is whether you actually got over someone, not the time elapsed since you broke up with ... (read in full...)
Why couldn't he just tell me he wasn't interested in me anymore?
Q. I've always had relationship problems, because I was diagnosed with bipolar about 5 years ago. When I met my last boyfriend, I was just coming off of some medication that makes me very snappy until it clears my system. I explained to my ex ...
A. 17 July 2007: Ditto.... (read in full...)
He only sees me as a friend, but I feel by having sex with him I can keep him!
Q. I have been close friends with this lad for about 18 months and have always been sexually attracted to him and we have always had a sexual tension between us. The night of my 21st birthday I slept with him (obviously I was very drunk!)and slept wi...
A. 17 July 2007: Ditto.... (read in full...)
I didn't want to tell her and throw it in her face so to speak...
Q. Recently I have started to see my ex girlfriend again. We had talked before on the phone and have asked different questions about what we have been doing. I had told her that I went on a trip to see fire works. She asked who I had went with and I ...
A. 17 July 2007: You can't. It seems she wants you back, and you don't. I think you should be very clear about this.
Or, if you want her back, too, then go for it and don't see other people.
In any case, be very, very clear about what you expect from seei... (read in full...)
What is the correct way to give a guy a hand job and more?
Q. Hi, I am very inexperienced and have a few little questions... How do you go about giving a guy a head job? Like how do you get started? What do you do first? Do you start by giving him a hand job? Usually how long does it take for him to get a...
A. 17 July 2007: I'm afraid we should not get into details here. This is a public post. Your post doesn't give us a clue, but, if you're involved with someone, that someone will be more than willing to help you know your way around.... (read in full...)
What do you do when you're boyfriend is impossible to keep aroused??
Q. so i'll make this straight to the point, when me and my boyfriend fool around he only gets turned on when he's pleasing me. If I just want to concentrate on him he cant stay hard...it's as if he's not touching me and trying to get me off, he isn't ...
A. 17 July 2007: If there's a problem here, you're not it. He does get aroused, you see, so, this is not a physical problem. His mind is at the root of the issue.
I don't think you're doing anything wrong. Don't blame it on yourself.
I suggest you talk... (read in full...)
He feels that I have so much more to experience in my life and if I ended up with him I would leave him when I grow older... he feels he is too old for me.
Q. I have been seeing a guy who is engaged. We met about a year ago, and over time we have become so close, we started off being great friends but it just went too far... now we are so in love, we have everything in common and have not once been sick ...
A. 17 July 2007: Having a relationship with someone who is engaged is not correct, and it isn't wise, either.
It's not correct because it's called cheating. YOU are not respecting the bond the fiancée has with this man. You are harming her. Think what you woul... (read in full...)
I still can’t seem to let go of the fact that the man I truly loved and gave my whole entire life and being to and made future plans and left me for the mother of his unborn child.
Q. I still can’t seem to let go of the fact that the man I truly loved and gave my whole entire life and being to and made future plans and left me for the mother of his unborn child. I keep wondering whether this child really is his or whether she ...
A. 17 July 2007: I can't agree with you in that you need to give "satisfaction" to men who want to use you. I don't think you would agree, either, if you were not in pain. At the moment, you want sex without commitment as a way to forget the man you love. But, ... (read in full...)
Guys don't like me b/c of my hair color, so how do I get the boy I'm after?
Q. None of the boys on my year seem to like me because I have ginger hair. I also really like this one boy. How do I get the boy I'm after?? Please help...
A. 17 July 2007: The one advice I can give you is not to change the color of your hair. You are who you are and people will love you that way. What one person finds unattractive others will find just right. I happen to love ginger color, for example; I wouldn't ... (read in full...)
I told him we could only be friends. Now he's saying he can't do it anymore and that I've hurt him! Why is he being this way? What can I do?
Q. Hoping someone can help me here. I dated a guy earlier in the year who...I thought wanted more than I could give. He wanted more and let me know it but I let him know that all I could offer was friendship. I thought he was ok with it but he phoned ...
A. 16 July 2007: Very simple: he still loves you, and finds it very painful that he can't be more than just a friend. He is in pain and your presence makes it more difficult for him to move on.
You mention you were honest in treating him, and you take this to ... (read in full...)
My ex keeps giving me mixed signals - I've not done anything to deserve this, and it's just torture!
Q. Since mine and my Girlfriends long distance realtionship of 2 years broke up 3 weeks ago today, I can't help but hate how little contact I can make with her. For the first 2 weeks or so, I couldn't contact her due to her being on holiday. But since ...
A. 16 July 2007: I'm with flower girl. You know, the one sign you should consider is this: she broke up with you. That says it all. I also agree with you, you don't deserve this.... (read in full...)
Am i doing the right thing telling him to sort himself out?
Q. ok, i know i am not meant to make this to long, but alot as happened and i no longer know if i am coming or going. I am so confused and i know you are an honest and understanding person from your show and you have no reason to lie to me as you ...
A. 16 July 2007: I'm sorry to hear all the things you've gone through, with this guy and with the other ones. I think you deserve a lot better than this.
Frankly, I think you should break up with him. He has problems, yes, but he seems somewhat unwillin... (read in full...)
Is this relationship worth trying to save?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been going out for a year, but now suddenly he's told me that his parents want me to change my attitude and watch my words whenever I'm at his house (he lives w/his parents). The thing is, they've been speaking to him about ...
A. 16 July 2007: From your post, I think the relationship will go from bad to worse. I also have the feeling that the relationship is not worth saving. This feeling comes to me from your words; if you look for our advice and this is the question you post, then, ... (read in full...)
Would he lie about his true feelings for me?
Q. Would a guy ever lie about his true feelings for a girl? I'm in all likelihood being foolishly hopeful, but it has been bugging me and I'd appreciate some input. For the first time, I told a guy that I liked him, a huge feat for someone as shy a...
A. 16 July 2007: Your question is whether someone would lie about his true feelings for you. My answer to that question is yes. But, reading your message, I find this is not the real question you want to ask, and, therefore, the one above is not the right ... (read in full...)
When out w/ my bf, how do I deal with seeing a stunning woman act sexy in a movie? I get jealous and uncomfortable.
Q. Im22,i dont get the opportunity to wear sexy clothes like all these girls do on posters and magazines, and itslike,myboyfriend never sees me in the sexy way he see's them. I just dont know how im supposed to feel good next to them?? how? and ...
A. 16 July 2007: I think you need to understand that nobody is perfect, and there will always be someone who will look, or think, or whatever, better than we do. You can't be happy if you need to be the very best in everything.
Also, I share your point of view ... (read in full...)
She's nice but I don't fancy her, but she FANCIES ME!!!
Q. A friend of mine introduced me to a French exchange student who's working at her lab this summer. Recently my friend as well as a number of coworkers have left on vacation. Realizing that she was pretty much alone and that not all that many other ...
A. 16 July 2007: I have to disagree a bit with the second poster about the "wishful thinking". Sometimes people can honestly mistake a friendly gesture for a gesture of love. She is not a bad girl because she fancies you, is she? If your answer is yes, then you ... (read in full...)
How do I improve my sexual tecnique when I didnt know I was bad in the first place?
Q. Hello, My girlfriend of 5 and half years has just recently broken up with me (about 2 weeks ago). She said that she no longer loves me, she found a new guy, she doesn't see a future with me, and etc. Anyways, I met her the other day and we w...
A. 16 July 2007: Bitterblue is just right. Now, use this information for your future relationship: try to get whoever comes next to speak directly to you. Tell her exactly what you have in mind: that you cannot improve on anything if you don't know what you're ... (read in full...)
She said it's not me, it's her. How can someone's feelings just suddenly stop??
Q. I've been in love with this girl for nearly a year and we've been through a lot of ups and downs. She said that she was in love with me, then suddenly she's saying she dosent even fancy me anymore. She says it's not me but she's changed. I just don...
A. 16 July 2007: I agree with Penta in saying that feelings don't change suddenly. Maybe she was trying to save what she had, and she only spoke to you about breaking up when she found this was not possible.
I think you need to let her go. Follow Penta's ... (read in full...)
I was wondering if any men (or women!) that have gone down on a girl... well what does it taste like???
Q. This is going to sound strange. My boyfriend went down on me for the first time last night. It was amazing but I couldn't relax! I mean I can't see how he was enjoying it??? Basically I got a bit curious and thought I'd taste... and... :S I thou...
A. 16 July 2007: If he wants to do it, I'm sure he's not suffering in silence. Also, I think you need to bear in mind that some people love giving oral sex. He might just happen to be one of them.
Don't worry about this one.... (read in full...)
The man I'm dating lives 320 miles away from me, can this work?
Q. hi, it's me again. Long distance relationships can they work? The man I like lives about 320 miles away from me. He said it's not a problem but this concerns me ....
A. 16 July 2007: Madam, I think the old saying is true: "'Tis better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all". Wish you the best.... (read in full...)
The man I'm dating lives 320 miles away from me, can this work?
Q. hi, it's me again. Long distance relationships can they work? The man I like lives about 320 miles away from me. He said it's not a problem but this concerns me ....
A. 16 July 2007: I think the relationship can work if you will eventually be together, and you work towards that goal. If you will always be that far apart, someday you'll both hate it.... (read in full...)
My partner is lazy; am I wrong to expect more, given the circumstances?
Q. I am the only wage earner in the family and have to work away one sometimes two nights a week. When at home I have to do all the cooking and when away my partner only buys readymade meals. The house is a mess because she says she is not a ...
A. 16 July 2007: I think you're not wrong. I know housekeeping is horrible, but it's you two who need to do it.... (read in full...)
He only goes after young hotties.
Q. Men, I have fallen for a guy who says he is ugly, and truly he is not a picture to look at. He is very overweight, had a stroke, in his late 50s, BUT I love being with him and enjoy his company and humour etc. I am considered attractive for my age ...
A. 16 July 2007: I see your personal value, and I have no doubt that you'd be very, very good to him. However, he might be going after the young women simply for the adventurous sex. I understand he had a stroke; I don't know how serious it was, but maybe he ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is moving out after discovering a MySpace account I created for the purpose of chatting with others.
Q. My girlfriend is moving out after discovering a MySpace account I created for the purpose of chatting with others. She feels that I was planing to go further than just chatting. This is from someone who stayed in touch with a past love for 10 ...
A. 16 July 2007: I need to recognize I didn't know MySpace. With the information given by the two ladies, I think she's somewhat justified to say she's leaving. However, my advice is the same: if she wants to leave, justified or not, let her have her way.... (read in full...)
Is being fingered with more than one finger meant to hurt?
Q. My boyfriend fingered me for the first time recently. And when he used 1 finger it felt fine. But when he tried to use more fingers it was really painful and then it started to bleed slightly. I'm really worried because its not meant to hurt is it? ...
A. 16 July 2007: Fingering is not meant to hurt, or bleed. Your hymen may have been broken, and that might explain the bleeding. Or, maybe he was careless and hurt you, without breaking the hymen.
Even if your hymen was broken, you're still a virgin. If you want... (read in full...)
If someone cheats on you, can they still really love you?
Q. if someone cheats on you...can they still really love you!!?...
A. 16 July 2007: Yes, they can; but obviusly something is very wrong in the relationship. Cheating is not right.... (read in full...)
I'm 13 and he's 16; can we still be together if we don't have sex?
Q. My boyfriend is 16, I'm 13, in England the age of consent is 16, if we have a non-sexual relationship can we still be together? I know people will say I'm too young for love but I know I am in love with him, we've been through so much, but I don't ...
A. 16 July 2007: I don't live in Britain, but I understand you can be with him for as long as you don't have sex. You're too young to be having sex anyways.... (read in full...)
I get jealous because I cant compare to airbrushed models in a magazine
Q. Why am i so jealous and insecure? Im 28 years old and have been with my boyfriend for 7 years. Hes a good man and will do anything for me and vice verca. Ive suffered from jealousy and insecurity now for many years, however i am bett...
A. 15 July 2007: I have the feeling you're very much insecure about your relationship with your boyfriend. Apparently it's not about anything he's done.
I think you need to be aware of two things:
1) None of us is perfect, physically or otherwise. Howe... (read in full...)
I am so shy I missed out on a great girl!
Q. Hi there, i'm 19 and i live in the UK. Something has really been eating away at me more than ever recently. It's always crossed my mind ever since i have been growing up as a teenager, but now it's hurting me more than ever. I get on with most ...
A. 15 July 2007: Your problem is more common than you think. I guess everyone has missed out someone out of shyness. This is not the end of the world and you'll certainly not die alone if you do something about it.
You need to start little by little, talking ... (read in full...)
She's nice but I don't fancy her, but she FANCIES ME!!!
Q. A friend of mine introduced me to a French exchange student who's working at her lab this summer. Recently my friend as well as a number of coworkers have left on vacation. Realizing that she was pretty much alone and that not all that many other ...
A. 15 July 2007: I think you should simply behave as a friend. You know, it's only normal that she likes you. Maybe you should be flattered. If she eventually talks about her feelings, or gives you a strong hint about them, you will be able to deal with this in ... (read in full...)
I was wondering if any men (or women!) that have gone down on a girl... well what does it taste like???
Q. This is going to sound strange. My boyfriend went down on me for the first time last night. It was amazing but I couldn't relax! I mean I can't see how he was enjoying it??? Basically I got a bit curious and thought I'd taste... and... :S I thou...
A. 15 July 2007: The answer you need is this: if he wanted to do this to you, and he didn't say a word about it, well, let him have his way. I have the feeling you're insecure about yourself. Don't be.
If he didn't like it, he would tell you. I'm sure you know... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is moving out after discovering a MySpace account I created for the purpose of chatting with others.
Q. My girlfriend is moving out after discovering a MySpace account I created for the purpose of chatting with others. She feels that I was planing to go further than just chatting. This is from someone who stayed in touch with a past love for 10 ...
A. 15 July 2007: In my humble opinion, you're sooo right. Let her go if that's what she wishes.... (read in full...)
His colleague from work keeps texting him and she KNOWS he's with me!
Q. Please can you help me as I seem to be going mad! I have been with my fiance for 6 1/2 years. We got engaged last year. We have a really good relationship and I want to spend the rest of my life with him. The problem is a woman at his work. He curr...
A. 15 July 2007: About what to think about the texts from this woman, obviously she wants to be involved with him. And these are not innocent messages, since she knows your boyfriend is with you.
Maybe your boyfriend hasn't been as strong as he should have bee... (read in full...)
I don't know how I should get back with him. Should I even bother?
Q. My boyfriend and I have gone out for just two months, everything seemed fine until the last week where we saw less of each other. When I tried to call and talk to him he seemed uninterested to talk. We broke up with each other yesterday. But I still ...
A. 15 July 2007: I think you've already shown you want him back. The phone call should be enough for this purpose. I think you should wait form him to contact you again.
I also think some advice is in order.
You say you expressed "your feelings for eac... (read in full...)
Does he want to date me or what?
Q. I have a crush on a man who I met through a friend at a group outing. We talked a lot during the first meeting, and since we have emailed back and forth about our common interest--computers. I suggested that he come over so we can work on a ...
A. 15 July 2007: If you're interested in him, you should show him so. I think you should always give love a try.... (read in full...)
Why did he leave me for her? Is there a chance for us?
Q. I met my ex at school and we started dating in our final year, aged 16. We were together for 9 years but have recently seperated. we have three children under 5 together. He had an affair when I was 7 months pregnant and is now dating the women he ...
A. 15 July 2007: I don't think I can answer why he left you for her. I would need to hear his side of the story. Maybe his relationship with her won't work, but in my opinion it's not a rebound.
You said very clearly that you'd like him back. I understa... (read in full...)
Why does he never show me any affection?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years, I love him, and he loves me. The thing is he doesn't tell me this, we don't cuddle or hold hands, or kiss, unless it's just me and him alone. He doesn't compliment me, he flirts with me still, but like I ...
A. 14 July 2007: I think he's not the romantic type. That's all. But, if he still does these things to you, I think he does love you.... (read in full...)
I havent heard from him in a week, did he lose interest?
Q. I have been friends with a guy for a few years now, and he gave me his email and told me to keep in touch with him as I was leaving school for the summer. I emailed him a very quick message, just so he knows my email address, and he responded with ...
A. 14 July 2007: I've been in the exact situation as you, only I am the male. I think I can relate to you.
E-mail may not be very personal, but I don't see why it's inappropriate in this situation. You were trying to get close to him without making any mistakes... (read in full...)
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