A
female
age
36-40,
*exiestgirlalive18
writes:I have been with my guy for about a year and a half and he always looks at other girls that look better then me. They are skinnier then me and they are hot and I get jealous but i just feel like he dont find me attractive anymore and it hurts. I just dont know what to do and when I try to say something to him about staring at a girl he just says that he dont look or that he just glances when I watch him stare and it just really hurts. It just feels like he wants someone that looks better then me. What can I do?
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female
reader, penta +, writes (20 July 2007):
 All guys look. Some are just better about hiding it than others. Just 'cause a guy looks DOES NOT mean he's thinking of ditching you for the latest "her." He's with you for a lot of reasons, NOT (repeat, not) just because he couldn't find anyone better.
So, #1: stop comparing your insides to everyone else's outsides. You always see your own flaws, even when no one else sees them. I promise you that when the "other" girl is walking, she's wondering whether that dress makes her look fat too. We all do it. If you compare yourself to someone else, you will always sell yourself short. So stop.
#2: confidence is attractive. Know that your BF is with you because of YOU. Try not to look jealous; no one likes the look of that.
#3: start laughing at your BF when you catch him looking. Make a joke of it. He's not especially subtle, and probably the object of his stare wouldn't be comfortable either. Smile and say "caught you" and make a joke of it. Don't feel that he's comparing the two of you; it's unlikely.
My husband did that to me once. We were walking downtown and there was a tan construction worker in shorts and no shirt up a ladder. I looked up, my eyes went wide, and I quickly looked back down, but my husband saw. He started teasing me in a friendly way and we were laughing about it. Very fun. I've done the same thing to him.
Take this in stride, be confident that you have nothing to worry about, and you'll be fine.
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (20 July 2007):
 You know, men are visual beings: we like to look at beauty. And we need less than a second to measure up a girl. Everyone, girls included, occasionally looks at someone else, and yes, finds these people attractive, but that doesn't mean the love for your significant one is gone. It only means that your hormones are working.
Obviously he is not considerate with you in his manner of looking. He can't help noticing, but he should at least be careful with you. Here, you have a hell of a point. I would recommend you to play it lightly: complain about this as if you were telling a joke. He will understand anyways, you'll avoid a discussion, and the problem will be addressed. However, I notice you have tried the "serious" approach and it hasn't worked. Maybe you should insist, tactfully, though.
You don't really know if other girls are better than you are. You know, "better" is a tricky word. I'm sure I'm better than Brad Pitt at speaking Spanish. In deciding who is better than who, I don't think looks are the only "parameter" that matters.
And, I have advice for you. I very much like your nickname: sexiestgirlalive18. This is how you must feel about yourself. There is no reason why you should always compare yourself unfavorably to others.
Hope this helps.
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A
female
reader, macy  +, writes (20 July 2007):
It is natural for males to look at other women, although he shouldnt be doing this if it makes you feel uncomfortable. I am a size 8 girl and fairly attractive but my partner still looks at other girls and they are sometimes bigger women that me
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