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This question has 6 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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28 November 2010: Recently, I found this poem by Maya Angelou. I think it pretty well summarizes how women should feel about themselves. Here it is, in case it benefits anyone. PHENOMENAL WOMAN by Maya Angelou Pretty women wonder where my secret lies I'm n...
Just some fun!
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 December 2008: Something one of my aunts sent me: When I was born, the doctor went to the waiting room and told my father: "We did all we could, but he was born alive". My mom didn't know whether she should keep me or the placenta. Since I was born before ...
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He chased me for 3 months, now he's backed off
Q. How to respond to a text saying I cant have a relationship I am damned by the devil. 3months and he chased me. I just want to know what happened...
A. 25 August 2007: I'm sorry to hear this. Apparently he doesn't have any interest in you anymore. Don't be sad and try to move on.... (read in full...)
Do you think it is advisable that I voice my suspects to her? I don't want it to be an accusation, I want it to show her my solidarity. I really want to enjoy the evenings when it's the three of us.
Q. I started dating my boyfriend in February. He has been living with a very close friend (girl) ever since last summer. I get along with her very well if we're alone but sometimes if it's the three of us it gets a bit awkward. Lately I found out by ...
A. 9 August 2007: Well, Dora, first of all, I would say you have a very good grasp of what is going on, and you and your boyfriend are acting together. This is very good, as you would present a single opinion to your friend and she would be faced with solid truth.
... (read in full...)
He more or less told me he doesn't want to sleep with me because I'm the heaviest I've ever been!
Q. Hi Friends! Thanks in advance to any advice you can give me. My best friend/lover have been together for like 20 years. We recently have had some problems with the sexual aspect of our relationship because I was under the impression he wa...
A. 6 August 2007: Dear Steen, from your update, it sounds like moving to Austin would be a good idea in terms of doing for a living and the well-being of your girls. I think you should give it a try. I believe it would also be good for you: it would allow you to ... (read in full...)
He more or less told me he doesn't want to sleep with me because I'm the heaviest I've ever been!
Q. Hi Friends! Thanks in advance to any advice you can give me. My best friend/lover have been together for like 20 years. We recently have had some problems with the sexual aspect of our relationship because I was under the impression he wa...
A. 6 August 2007: The real problem, deep down, is that he doesn't want a relationship with you now. The fact that he isn't moving, the lack of sex, whatever, those are secondary issues; the primary one is, the relationship is over.
I understand your situatio... (read in full...)
He's been cheating on me. Do you think trust can be re-built and relationships survive this?
Q. Hello. I found out 6 weeks ago that my boyfriend of nearly 8 years has been sleeping with a girl he met through work. We moved in together last summer. He says he met her last January 06 but they just spoke and he only slept with her bewteen January ...
A. 5 August 2007: Rebuilding trust is always very difficult, and I have the feeling that the odds are always against it.
My first concern here would be what he said about your drifting apart and wanting different things. Your relationship cannot work if this is ... (read in full...)
Don't know if I want my boyfriend moving to my new apartment.
Q. I have been in a relationship for 6 years know, My boyfriend moved in 10 months ago and from the start of the relationship he has had no interest whatsoever in sex, He mentioned he had a breakdown when he was 23 I am wondering if this had anything ...
A. 5 August 2007: I am with Rythmandblues. Not having sex with you indicates how he feels in the relationship.
I think you should be very direct with him about not moving in with him when you get a new apartment. If I were living with someone, I would also pre... (read in full...)
What's she playing at? Am I ready to be dumped by her?
Q. I have a problem here goes; My current girlfriend and I have been in a relationship for four months but have known each other for around 6 months...this is her longest relationship, she is 18 I am 21 and have been in a long relationship bef...
A. 5 August 2007: I doubt that her being in the relationship for four months is the reason for the arguments. There are other issues here. Those are the ones you need to deal with. Maybe the arguments do point to the fact that she wants out, but I simply don't ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend always shaves down there when she goes on a night out with friends. Should I be worried?
Q. Ok this is quite a personal thing really but I need some advice/opinions. My better half and the mother of my child goes out on the town fairly regularly once a week to every other week. She always shaves herself down there before going on the town ...
A. 5 August 2007: It's hard to tell with the information you give. I would look into the lack of sex at the moment: Why is it happening? Whatever the problem between you two, that is the first thing to tackle.... (read in full...)
He already said he loves me after like 3 days of talking. But that's so overused nowadays I don't know if it's really real.
Q. I've always wanted a summer fling, and I think it's become more than that to the guy I started seeing. I met a guy on a 2 day trip last month and he is great. He's funny, intelligent, able to hold a conversation. And we are both going to be seni...
A. 5 August 2007: If you don't want anything serious at the moment, then that's all you need to do.
About his loving you, maybe what he means is he fancies you. Or, he is infatuated, indeed. But perhaps he wants to explore a serious relationship indeed. In any c... (read in full...)
He more or less told me he doesn't want to sleep with me because I'm the heaviest I've ever been!
Q. Hi Friends! Thanks in advance to any advice you can give me. My best friend/lover have been together for like 20 years. We recently have had some problems with the sexual aspect of our relationship because I was under the impression he wa...
A. 5 August 2007: I won't be judgmental, but there is something I cannot understand and I will bring it up for you to consider: If you're in an open relationship, why would it be important to know who else he or you are sleeping with? Why would it be important if ... (read in full...)
Commitment
Q. commitment is not a major life-threatening thing that someone does. People who can't make the smallest decisions are inevitably going to find it hard to make a major decision. The way I see it is that People who are afraid of commitment (to a ...
A. 5 August 2007: I liked this article. We have a expression in Spanish: "Bare your chest to the bullets". I think your article is in line with this. ... (read in full...)
I plan on talking to my ex-boyfriend to let him know I am still in love with him. Any good tips on startng this conversation with him?
Q. I am planning on talking to my ex-boyfriend to let him know I am still in love with him. We have been apart for almost 4 months now and have stayed in touch through e-mail, phone and weekly visits (I even went away to his cottage with him and his ...
A. 5 August 2007: If I were you, I would go straight to the point. I think you should tell him exactly what you feel and what you want from him. Ask him to give you an answer, but, don't let him know you would not accept being friends. Let him tell you exactly ... (read in full...)
I love him to death but there are times when he just makes me feel worthless. Help!
Q. Hi, I'm 20 and my boyfriend and I have been together a little over a year. i love him to death but there are times when he just makes me feel worthless. I was always taught not to settle but I am afraid I may be because I don't have great self ...
A. 5 August 2007: If he truly has trouble showing his emotions, then you can't take that to mean he doesn't feel as much for you as you feel for him. It could simply be that you can show what you feel and he can't.
However, I'm a bit concerned about somethin... (read in full...)
He said no to dating me..and went back to his ex gf! How do I deal with this?
Q. This a little complicated, but I'll try to explain. This boy and i would txt all the time and we hit it off really well. One night we made out and i asked him about a relationship and he said he didnt want to hurt me because he was leaving to go ...
A. 5 August 2007: To me, he was lying when he said he didn't want to hurt you by having a relationship. It could be possible to argue that he doesn't care about hurting his ex, but I doubt it. Most likely he wanted to make out with you, et cetera, but he didn't ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has trouble with sex because of his weight and when I tried to help, he got angry
Q. My boyfriend has become quite overweight, mostly around his belly, and finds sex akward becaus of it. The weight is from prescription pills, and not his fault, and he cant stop the medication either, he has to take it for many more months. He gets ...
A. 5 August 2007: Give him some time. Maybe he was just embarrassed, indeed.... (read in full...)
he is second guessing us?
Q. my bf, who i have two kids with actually a new baby, is acting a little different lately. he tells me he loves me and things like that but then he says somethings like i have two kids with you regardless if i marry you or not i will know you for the ...
A. 4 August 2007: This man is giving so many signs of something going on behind your back. Just the lies are bad. Maybe it's not he's seeing someone else, but, he is second guessing you. I have a bad feeling about his comment about your being in his life "whether ... (read in full...)
Is it normal to be so heart broken over a girl rejecting me...8 months ago?
Q. I really loved this girl with an unexplainable love (at least to me). I didn't even think she noticed, however I did signal it to her one day and she noticed. She wasn't frightened, she wasn't angry or concerned. It seems she liked it. So we ...
A. 4 August 2007: I don't like the word "normal". Let's use "usual" instead. So, it is usual, but it's not advisable for you. You received a "no" for an answer, and that hasn't changed in eight months. That is not going to change. I think you'd be unusual if you ... (read in full...)
Should I try talking to him again when everyone is gone?
Q. Dear Cupid, my ex and I have been separated for about a month. Although we have seen each other during the month have not spoken to each other, ever in person. The most talking we did was a short conversation online...trying to say that we would act ...
A. 4 August 2007: I think you should let him approach you. Actually, you really don't know if he's changed his mind: about breaking up. And, you don't know if not talking is what he wants with you now. So, I would wait.... (read in full...)
Being Raped hasn't ruined or changed my life...i kinda enjoyed it...Whats wrong with me?Am i a freak?
Q. Hi,im Naoko im 20 years old and when i was 19 i was raped... I just wanna know if im a freak Being Raped hasn't ruined or changed my life...i kinda enjoyed it...Whats wrong with me?Am i a freak?...
A. 4 August 2007: I don't think you're a freak. Perhaps this is a defense mechanism you use, something in the way of "Since I liked it, I was not raped, really". See into it.
I'm sorry you were raped. It shouldn't happen to anyone.... (read in full...)
how do i know if my boyfriend is just ejaculating or having an orgasm ?
Q. how do i know if my boyfriend is just ejaculating or having an orgasm ?...
A. 4 August 2007: Yep, ejaculation and orgasm in the male are very much the same thing. Only in some instances is it not so. Some men ejaculate without an orgasm, and that usually indicates psychological issues.... (read in full...)
She has had a very, very promiscuous past and I struggle almost daily with negative thoughts about this woman I love. Any Advice?
Q. My girlfriend “Kate” (not her real name for obvious reasons) is stunningly beautiful, extremely intelligent, witty, fun loving and full of life. She’s also brash, facetious, confident, fiercely independent, and honest to a fault. Kate is a realist. ...
A. 4 August 2007: I think you should keep it private.
She is who she is and you can't change that. She can't go back in time and not sleep with all those men. You need to either take her as she is, or leave her. Don't let the subject fester. Do it in private.... (read in full...)
He chased me for 3 months, now he's backed off
Q. How to respond to a text saying I cant have a relationship I am damned by the devil. 3months and he chased me. I just want to know what happened...
A. 4 August 2007: From the other side of the fence, I can tell you this much: He got bored of chasing you. And now he's upset. I'm honestly not sure whether you should respond to that text message.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's sex drive is decreasing!
Q. I need some advice about my boyfriends ever-decreasing sex drive. He only wants to do it at weekends, I want to do it everyday. We only end up doing it when he wants to and I find this degrading, like he's using me when he wants it. Surely it should ...
A. 4 August 2007: I'm afraid there is a little misunderstanding here.
I'm sure you're willing to keep the fire burning, and I need to recognize you're a very good person. Better than him, maybe.
I would just like to use a part of Duskyrowe's post to show you... (read in full...)
Can somebody please tell me what she might be thinking?
Q. Hi, it's just me. I'm still feeling fairly possitive today, despite the fact that I dreamt that me and my ex were getting back together last night. I woke up thinking: Right, a step forward.. What can I do to sort this o.... Oh, it was just a ...
A. 4 August 2007: Andy, I'm afraid you'll start hating me, as I always appear on your posts. It's fate, karma, or just plain bad luck, I guess. I have something to say.
I know exactly how you feel, because I've been there. I know what it feels to be given up... (read in full...)
Should I give it another go and see if the 'chemistry' can be re-created or just walk away?
Q. Hi Everyone. I've had loads of advice from you over the last few months. I split with my partner after being together for over 4 years last November but we got back together early in the New Year only to split again in March. We didn't live ...
A. 4 August 2007: If you think you can't spend the rest of your life with him, and you already were involved with him, I guess you really don't want to be involved with him anymore. If this is true, no, walk away; I don't think it will work.... (read in full...)
I dont want to sleep with a girl right away, why is this a problem?
Q. Girls, please give me your words of wisdom! I have not have sex I like over a year! I’m not ugly or anything! Just been real relaxed, REAL RELAXED about – getting out there. I hate one night stands – just not me. And this really isn’t about ...
A. 4 August 2007: I'm with Frank. And, I must say, the Pope sees a lot of action, though not the "action" you make reference to.... (read in full...)
Scheduled to be married but now..my finacee has backed down! Any advice?
Q. hi dear cupid, This time I am really longing for help. I was scheduled to be married next week but my fiancee tells me he can not make it. He said he has a fear, he has scared of the future but he said he will always love me. I am totaly down at t...
A. 4 August 2007: Gladyz,
I saw your other post, but I want to help you with this one, too.
I can't imagine what this must feel like. The pain must be huge: you learned that he doesn't love you and all your life plans are useless now. I bet you're so confus... (read in full...)
I want us to continue just being 'friends with benefits' but I told him I'd like to see him a bit more, now I'm worried I scared him off
Q. I've been having casual sex with this guy for a couple of months now. This guy is involved with someone(he has a kid too). We both know where we stand in this situation. We're like friends with benefit relationship here. I definitely enjoy having ...
A. 4 August 2007: In this situation, I think I need to read deeper into your question. My purpose is to bring some questions so you will answer them yourself, and you'll know what to do.
First, you say all you want from him is the sex. But then, yo say you'd li... (read in full...)
I'm due to be married in one week and my boyfriend has just calledit off!!!
Q. I am very, very longing for help, any advice that will make my soul go through this terrible happening to me will be heartly appreciated. I was about to marry in 1 week when my fiancee turn back off. He said he can't make it now because he is now ...
A. 4 August 2007: I just can't imagine how much this situation can hurt. It must feel like the world is crumbling down. But, dear, it isn't: the sun will shine for you tomorrow. I don't believe that your fiancé made his mind about not marrying only now; he must ... (read in full...)
I want to know if I were to ask her out and she says no will it ruin my friendship with her?
Q. I have a female friend that I have liked since I met her, I want to know if I were to ask her out and she says no will it ruin my friendship with her?...
A. 3 August 2007: If you ask her out and she doesn't like the idea, most likely you will lose the friendship. Maybe not right away, but, in the end, that will happen. Friends and lovers are different categories of people. Before you say a word, think two, three ... (read in full...)
Can somebody please tell me what she might be thinking?
Q. Hi, it's just me. I'm still feeling fairly possitive today, despite the fact that I dreamt that me and my ex were getting back together last night. I woke up thinking: Right, a step forward.. What can I do to sort this o.... Oh, it was just a ...
A. 3 August 2007: Not that I disrespect flower_girl. She is a very good agony aunt and I like her opinions very much. More than once has she enlightened me. But, read her post: isn't she saying the same thing as I, but in gentler language? As a woman, she ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's sex drive is decreasing!
Q. I need some advice about my boyfriends ever-decreasing sex drive. He only wants to do it at weekends, I want to do it everyday. We only end up doing it when he wants to and I find this degrading, like he's using me when he wants it. Surely it should ...
A. 3 August 2007: Sometimes the best advice comes from showing you where you stand. Here is mine: What would happen if YOU wanted it only on Saturdays?... (read in full...)
Is my long-distance friend interested in more than just being my friend?
Q. I have a male friend who lives over 900 miles away. We've been on vacation together with our children. We speak to each other almost every day. He is usually the one who calls me first. We talk about everything. For the last year he has been ...
A. 3 August 2007: Yep, I think it is very, very possible that he's interested in you. I'm afraid of saying it's a sure thing, but, I wouldn't call a woman who lives that far away every day if I were not interested in her.
You need to define whether he would se... (read in full...)
Can somebody please tell me what she might be thinking?
Q. Hi, it's just me. I'm still feeling fairly possitive today, despite the fact that I dreamt that me and my ex were getting back together last night. I woke up thinking: Right, a step forward.. What can I do to sort this o.... Oh, it was just a ...
A. 3 August 2007: First of all, Andy00, it's not "just" you again. It's you, man, Andy00. You're an important person.
I'm not a woman, but I think I can tell you what is on her mind.
When she asked about the t-shirt, she was hinting that she doesn't want any... (read in full...)
Ex has emailed and now all the old feelings are back! What do I do?
Q. I really need people's opinions on this, so please help if you can..... i went out for 4 months last year with this guy lets call him A. I was head over heels in love with him, even though we didnt have the greatest relationship, anyway i lost my ...
A. 3 August 2007: My dear, my advice is, stay away from him. He doesn't respect or love you.
When you're confused, you need certainty; you need to know what you can expect in order to act wisely. I believe you need STATEMENTS.
Here you can have mine: He m... (read in full...)
Ex has emailed and now all the old feelings are back! What do I do?
Q. I really need people's opinions on this, so please help if you can..... i went out for 4 months last year with this guy lets call him A. I was head over heels in love with him, even though we didnt have the greatest relationship, anyway i lost my ...
A. 3 August 2007: My dear, my advice is, stay away from him. He doesn't respect or love you.
When you're confused, you need certainty; you need to know what you can expect in order to act wisely. I believe you need STATEMENTS.
Here you can have mine: He m... (read in full...)
Can I ever find happiness in a relationship, when my feelings always seem to dig me into a quagmire?
Q. Dear Cupid, Can I ever find happiness in a relationship, when my feelings always seem to dig me into a quagmire? Is there anything wrong with me for always getting stuck with guys who are not marriage material? I am 28 already and my last boyf...
A. 3 August 2007: The two posters have already given you a lot of good advice. I will add my grain of salt. Don't sustain the contact with the guys who dumped you, particularly with the one who said, up front, that he wouldn't marry you. You are begging them for ... (read in full...)
Would it be wrong to have a f*** buddy while my girlfriend is out of state?
Q. Is casual sex OK when you love someone else who is not around? My girlfriend took a job that forces her to travel out of state for weeks at a time 90 percent of the time. I love her but dont want to sleep alone. Is it wrong to find a casual sexual ...
A. 3 August 2007: Of course it would be wrong. What if YOU were out of state?... (read in full...)
Do you think it is advisable that I voice my suspects to her? I don't want it to be an accusation, I want it to show her my solidarity. I really want to enjoy the evenings when it's the three of us.
Q. I started dating my boyfriend in February. He has been living with a very close friend (girl) ever since last summer. I get along with her very well if we're alone but sometimes if it's the three of us it gets a bit awkward. Lately I found out by ...
A. 3 August 2007: I think she is keeping her feelings to herself because she doesn't want to complicate things with you or your boyfriend. If this is the best way she can manage it, let her have her way.
I am afraid that she won't see any words from you as "soli... (read in full...)
I desperately want to help my friend with his relationship but he won't let me.
Q. My friend wont let his gf go on the pill in case she gains weight *she a stick so she need a bit of weight* and they use condoms but only 60% of the time. He's 18 and shes 17 ive tried to explain to him that she wont become fat and if she did he ...
A. 3 August 2007: I'm afraid you have spoken quite a lot. Having kids at their age is not the smartest thing they can do, but, they have been warned. Let them be.... (read in full...)
I don't want to be too clingy and lose her over my insecurity.
Q. I am 16 and my girlfriend (16) of 9 months now recently went on a a weeks trip with two of her friends. I trusted her fully with her friends as she was staying with her grandparents. All was well, when she got back I asked her how it went. I found ...
A. 3 August 2007: Maybe she was doing that for the fun, indeed, but she shouldn't have let it happen. Would she be that understanding if you had had fun in this way?
As I see it, you will have problems trusting her from now on. With good reason, I must add. In... (read in full...)
I can't keep my bfs - I seem to like them too much and scare them away.
Q. i am really not good at keeping guys who like me. I always seem to like them way to much and scare them off i think. I try to play it cool but then end up texting them all the time, cos i really like them. there is a guy that likes me and i have ...
A. 2 August 2007: And, I will add, don't feel bad about yourself. How to behave in a relationship is a learning process. Just fear not learning enough.... (read in full...)
He says it's him but could it be me???
Q. i have started dating a guy, we have been sexual active for 4 months, he can only ejaculate via masterbation and sometimes looses his erection during intercourse. is the problem me, he says not....
A. 2 August 2007: This is not a problem with you. His penis is less sensitive than it used to be, and he needs the strong stimulation of his hand. This can improve with time, however, as he will get more and more used to the sensations a vagina gives, much more ... (read in full...)
I have to masturbate to climax even after 1-2 hour sex sessions... is this normal?
Q. I can't seem to ejaculate while having sex i have to masterbate to climax. Me an my fiancee usually have sex for one to two hours and i have to masterbate to climax what could be done to help with this or is it normal. ...
A. 1 August 2007: Rather than "normal" I would prefer the word "usual". This is not usual. My guess is, you have some psychological issues. Maybe you should think hard about this, as it will be a heavy burden on your girl and you. Can you imagine having to wait ... (read in full...)
I can't forget about him, even though he has a girlfriend!
Q. I really need help with this situation. I feel like im in love with someone. He has a girlfriend, and has been with her for over a year and a half now, but he cheated on her various times with me. He treats her bad, and their always arguing. I know ...
A. 1 August 2007: Well, advice is here.
You need to use your mind, and your heart, too, to control the matters of the heart. You can see the situation clearly, which is more than many people can do, but your heart won't follow. This is your real problem.... (read in full...)
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