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... Send *indyCares a private message | | | *indyCares's profile:Hi everybody. I am an Italian woman currently living in Italy but I spent many years in England and USA. I hope my English is still decent but in case it got a little rusty, please be lenient.
My age ? Let say that I am way past the stage when you cry if the boy you like takes your best friend to the prom, and young enough to remember how awful that feels.
What qualifies me to help people- well, let me show off just a bit and mention that I studied Psychology 4 years in college, and, even if then I graduated in a different subject, I never lost my interest in psychology and kept reading a lot about this subject. Yet that does not really qualify me for anything because intellectual knowledge is not the same as real life experience. So let's say I feel I can advice people because I have lived a lot, travelled a lot, met a lot of people from all backgrounds , races and religions- I have loved a lot, and I have also been dumped a lot :)
Plus, I am really fascinated with people and their stories. Not in a gossipy way. I just find that every person is a whole new world that I am excited to discover.
Right now I am single- and happily so. I realized- better late than never - that rather than waiting for Prince Charming I should first become a Princess myself. You can't love anybody unconditionally, if first you don't love yourself unconditionally, and this is what I am learning to do.
Looking forward to hear from all of you..
Ciao
Cindy |
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| Latest articles: Devastation in Italy
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 August 2016: This has got nothing to do with romance or relationships or love- maybe with love for our fellow human beings, i.e. solidariety and compassion , so I hope that the mods will publish this regardless. On August 24th a devastating eartquak...
Ten best ways for a woman to be given her walking papers.
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
19 August 2014: Yeah I know : ultimately love is a mystery, not an exact science. There's always an element of sheer luck, of serendipity, of magic in it. Some times you do everything right, by the book, you are the perfect gf / wife / lover .. and you still get ...
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I’m expecting my first child with my boyfriend but he isn’t happy and is calling me a liar!
Q. I have recently discovered I'm expecting my first child with my boyfriend of 3 years. It seems like it would be great news but he isn't happy at all and keeps calling me a liar as I had always believed that I couldn't have children naturall...
A. 26 April 2016: Anon female, I don't know what doctors and nurses you have been dealing with but in any case.... change hospital :)
It's not international and it's not the standard line, it's simply BS.
Most women with PCOS can eventually get pregnant , unless... (read in full...)
I’m expecting my first child with my boyfriend but he isn’t happy and is calling me a liar!
Q. I have recently discovered I'm expecting my first child with my boyfriend of 3 years. It seems like it would be great news but he isn't happy at all and keeps calling me a liar as I had always believed that I couldn't have children naturall...
A. 26 April 2016: Oops ! fair is fair, so , my apologies, OP, for having overlooked what you stated clearly in your post, that your bf was informed when you stopped taking the pill.
It does not alter substantially , though, the gist of my post. Ok, your bf can'... (read in full...)
I’m expecting my first child with my boyfriend but he isn’t happy and is calling me a liar!
Q. I have recently discovered I'm expecting my first child with my boyfriend of 3 years. It seems like it would be great news but he isn't happy at all and keeps calling me a liar as I had always believed that I couldn't have children naturall...
A. 25 April 2016: I agree with Tisha . What have you done so wrong ? If you don't get it,...yes, you must suffer from a remarkable lack of imagination.
What you have done wrong, to begin with, is being lackadaisical and " whatever " about your reproductive heal... (read in full...)
Please please help me! Retroactive jealousy is driving me insane and it's getting out of control
Q. (Ps. English is not my mother tongue so I apologize for the grammar errors etc..) Hello; It's been more than a year since I started to date my girlfriend (fiancee). Unfortunately I'm in the claws of retroactive jealousy. I guess there is not a...
A. 24 April 2016: If I got it right, no amount of therapy could convince you , for isntance , to say that's OK for a daughter of yours to have sex before marriage. You won't accept that becaus it goes against your values; you feel that having premarital sex is a ... (read in full...)
I want to try FWB. What should I consider?
Q. I want to try friends with benefits. Any women on here have experiences with sleeping with multiple guys at the same time? Most of the stories I've heard usually only have the male fwb sleeping with multiple girls. So I figure if it's inevitable ...
A. 24 April 2016: I read just now one of your updates and I have a comment about the fact that FWB would give you sexual freedom because you would never have to worry about your partner's sexual needs:
no, you would have to, if you want an FWB, i.e. somebody who ... (read in full...)
I want to try FWB. What should I consider?
Q. I want to try friends with benefits. Any women on here have experiences with sleeping with multiple guys at the same time? Most of the stories I've heard usually only have the male fwb sleeping with multiple girls. So I figure if it's inevitable ...
A. 24 April 2016: No, most FWBs do not end up with people having feeling " for each other " and we would have ample matewrial here at DC to prove it.
Most FWBs end up with ONE of the two people , the one who is less capable of neatly separating sex from love... (read in full...)
Does she love me for my money? She never offers to pay!
Q. My girlfriend Lisa and I have been going together for almost ten months and our relationship seems to be sailing along quite smoothly. We're very compatible. We always have a lot of fun together and she never nags me. She's beautiful, classy and ...
A. 24 April 2016: I tend to see it like Honeypie. My guess is that she is a "solid 10 " who feels she is already paying you back for your kind gestures.... by letting you play out of your league and and sporting off such a cool trophy girlfriend.
She is a soli... (read in full...)
How many women get pregnant because they hate their jobs?
Q. Im curious what people reckon is the proportion of women that have a baby because they don't want to work (or hate their job)?...
A. 23 April 2016: I don't even understand the question. Why should women get pregnant as a way to quit work ?....
If they need the frigging job, and relative income, they would have to keep the job anyway, - more so with a new mouth to feed.
If they can take... (read in full...)
Ladies: Can you sleep with someone for 6 month and have no attachment?
Q. Question for the women. Can you sleep with the same person for nearly six months and have no attachment to them? Is it likely? I've been sleeping with the same girl for that span of time in a fwb situation. We spend the night weekly and talk ...
A. 23 April 2016: Sure, why not ? Not all women can keep love and " fun " separated, but some certainly can.
It happens more often when the guy is likeable ,enjoyable, even adorable, yet there is nonetheless some big dealbreaker that would make him not fit ... (read in full...)
My Boyfriend's Doberman comes first. It's making me miserable. What do I do?
Q. Hi I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years. We have a 1 yr old son. The problem is when me and my boyfriend met he had a Doberman but the problem is he treats the dog better than me. He takes the dog everywhere with me. The dog can do no wrong. T...
A. 22 April 2016: Sorry, I meant : " .... we'll take a nice long stroll by ourselves "... (read in full...)
My ex boyfriend wanted the truth about his ED. Is ED a good enough reason to end a relationship?
Q. I had closure with my 45 year ex boyfriend last night. The problems around our sex life weighed heavily on this new relationship. Is it a good enough reason to end a relationship because I cant have penetrative satisfying sex? I love making l...
A. 22 April 2016: Call me heartless but I think this is an excellent reason to end a new relationship. Sex is not the be all and end all of life, of course, but it is a somewhat important part of a relationship, and starting one knowing you can't have " regular " ... (read in full...)
My Boyfriend's Doberman comes first. It's making me miserable. What do I do?
Q. Hi I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years. We have a 1 yr old son. The problem is when me and my boyfriend met he had a Doberman but the problem is he treats the dog better than me. He takes the dog everywhere with me. The dog can do no wrong. T...
A. 22 April 2016: There's not much you can do , I suppose. When you met your bf, he already had this Doberman - Dobie was there before you. And it does not take three years to see exactly how fond a man is of his dog, and how he treats it. So, if any, the time to ... (read in full...)
Who is right? Why can't he compromise?
Q. My bf says we always do what I want but that isn't true at all. I want a treadmill, to be able to workout in our apt because I have a lot of anxiety and I also have stomach issues and exercising really helps. So I tried tling him all this, but he ...
A. 22 April 2016: About the treadmill, I absolutely agree with your bf. It is an expensive, ugly, cumbersome object, if you have a large family house , and a basement like Honeypie's, lucky girl, then ok, but if you live in your typical young couple's starter ... (read in full...)
How do I get over him? Should I try to be friends?
Q. The guy i've been seeing ended things with me and i just cant seem to get over him. We've been on and off for six months which originally started as a friends with benefits thing and eventually we decided to start seeing each other. He's messed m...
A. 22 April 2016: I second Honeypie's advice. Why in the world would you want to stay " friends " with someone who messed you around and treated you badly, and only showed you insensitivity and disregard ?...
Personally I am not very much sold on the concept of "... (read in full...)
My partner or my daughter? I feel so very upset about what has happened. What should I do?
Q. I have lived with my partner for around 5 years. My daughter (now 24) lived with me....(or between my ex husband and her b/f's parents) She never paid any board money and rarely did any housework. (but that's my fault for letting her). We often ...
A. 21 April 2016: See what I mean ?...
You seem to miss the point . You keep minimizing, and making excuses for your partner.... the rock was small.... the car was not moving...
Look, clearly he was not pelting her window with little pebbles like a lover t... (read in full...)
Does anyone else think that D*cks and sex are overrated?
Q. Now that I've been with a few guys I realize how small guy's d*cks are. Like when he's pushing it in, it can kind of feel big but once you get used to it, it's just not a big deal. And long and short lengths don't make a difference. The ...
A. 21 April 2016: Just out of sheer curiosity and without any polemical intention : but , how large exactly do you reckon a dick should be for being of your liking ?...
You know, it makes sense that dicks " do not take up much space " - if men sported an appe... (read in full...)
Should I continue with this relationship? Or break up with him?
Q. Hello Aunts! I'm not sure if I'm in the right relationship. My bf and I have been dating for two years now. Sometimes I feel I love him very much while sometimes I feel I don't love him that much to get married to him. I broke up with him about a ...
A. 21 April 2016: He loves you, but you don't love him.
That sounds to me like an excellent reason to NOT get married, both in his best interest and in yours.
Some times you have got to be cruel to be kind, and I do not doubt that , if you leave him, at first it... (read in full...)
My partner or my daughter? I feel so very upset about what has happened. What should I do?
Q. I have lived with my partner for around 5 years. My daughter (now 24) lived with me....(or between my ex husband and her b/f's parents) She never paid any board money and rarely did any housework. (but that's my fault for letting her). We often ...
A. 21 April 2016: I remember your previous post and I must say that you omitted some details in absence of which the picture is not complete.
Yes, of course it's your partner's house and he gets to decide who lives there, and if the cohabitation becomes unpl... (read in full...)
Could a man lose interest in a sex buddy as fast as a few weeks?
Q. There's this guy who I have started having sex with. (I told him that I wasn't looking for a relationship. He's fine with that.) So we started to have sex and he was my first time. A couple times he has gone a two weeks without needing to see m...
A. 21 April 2016: Probably he is having as much fun ,or more ,with the other girl !, and/or, for all you know, with a third, a fourth girl... it's not as if he is missing sorely out on fun times.
Plus, even if you were his only sex partner, when it's just sex-... (read in full...)
He cuts me off in middle of me speaking. He said people do it all the time. Is this true?
Q. My boyfriend and I were working in the office yesterday. After a while he had to take over from what I was doing and I sat waiting for him. We were talking a little,but every time I was telling him a story he either wouldn't answer me or he would...
A. 19 April 2016: Well, yes interrupting is bad form, no doubt .
But.. you need to be very honest with yourself , OP, some people are so awful at telling stories or making conversation, that the temptation is too strong also for a mild mannered person . We are ... (read in full...)
What should I ask, when I speak to my Bf, about a stained black dress I found under my Bf's bed?
Q. I found a black dress with dried up white spots on the front under my boyfriend's bed. I do not live with my BF. I was in his apartment tidying it up for him. Now I wonder if he cheated? First I would like to know, does semen dry white when ...
A. 17 April 2016: First of all, congratulations to YouWish for her brilliant deductive powers; really, Miss Marple has got nothing on you !
Second... yeah, just ask already, what's the doubt about ?.
You found a woman's dress under his bed. You were looking ... (read in full...)
Should I wait an extra year before I can vacation with my young son?
Q. I have no one to ask this question to but this website. I am in a relationship for the past year and we were dating for a few months prior to being in a relationship. Outside this relationship I have a child who is around 19 months old. I wa...
A. 17 April 2016: You are right, this is not about breast feeding.
It's about miscommunication, or misrepresentation of facts.
Cultures are different but human phisiology is the same all over the world. Unless in exceptional cases , at 19 months babies ... (read in full...)
I'm in a pickle about what to do. Am I expecting too much, or is he not putting enough effort in?
Q. Hi bi guy here and really need help please read all. So back in September I met this guy via an online dating site. I was drunk and he was at work but it was a good meet. We started seeing each other regularly and everytime he was opening up about...
A. 17 April 2016: Both : you are expecting too much, AND he is not putting much effort in this.
- If he " really " cared .... if he really cared about you, he would not be in a relationship with another man to begin with ! How much " care " can you reasonably expe... (read in full...)
Should I marry him even though it would mean that I would be stuck in a life I would hate?
Q. Ive going to marry soon this year and im having dillema about my future. I think its normal to worry about my future life and im not telling or discussed this with anyone. Its making me depressed by the time pass and it keep worse. We have been t...
A. 16 April 2016: Is this the bakery guy by any chance ?...
Maybe I am getting you mixed up with somebody else, OP- we used to get posts from an Asian girl who was in your very same predicament: raised in a wealthy family, but engaged from someone from a less... (read in full...)
How can I best support my fiance suffering panic attacks due to stress he is feeling?
Q. My Fiance suffers from anxiety, it has gotten worse and worse in the last while am not sure if the wedding is making it worse. The wedding is not until next year but already he is worrying about it, its affecting work as he is taking panic attacks ...
A. 16 April 2016: Personally I agree with your sister in law and her parents, that she is not doing anything wrong, but since this is simply a matter of opinions I wonder how productive it would be to open a debate about "right " or " wrong " . It may be right or ... (read in full...)
Should I wait an extra year before I can vacation with my young son?
Q. I have no one to ask this question to but this website. I am in a relationship for the past year and we were dating for a few months prior to being in a relationship. Outside this relationship I have a child who is around 19 months old. I wa...
A. 16 April 2016: This must be a troll.
Which infant- breast fed or bottle fed - needs night feedings at 19 months ?!
The most die hard sucklers will have 1 or 2 night feedings till 9 or 10 months, and maybe 1 up to 12 months- after that, they do not eat ... (read in full...)
Is my boss correct to pay me like this?
Q. My boss says she's going to pay me the 1st and 15 th every month, but that she has up to 5 days past pay date to pay me. Is this correct, should I accept this? I dont make that much anyways 25,000 a year. Also, I am living with my bf and have bill...
A. 16 April 2016: Every State have their specific rules about payday. Check with your local office of WHD ( Wage and Hour Division of U.S. Department of Labor ).
Anyway, FWIW, yes, what your boss says sounds like pretty regular , standard procedure. In fact... (read in full...)
An opportunity to say hello to all the long term Aunts and Uncles and an update
Q. Its been a long time since logging in here, regrettably I do so now to procrastinate an assignment... But hey! lets not let that small detail belittle the moment ;) I'd like to say a big thank you to anyone who is still here from back in the day....
A. 14 April 2016: Noooooo ! You ???? I can't believe it ! And I'll tell you way :
Just yesterday, the same day you posted, I was thinking : too bad that so many of the old regulars have left this site, without being replaced by as many - or ( no disrespect mean... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's attitude towards my godchild turned me off. Am I wrong for feeling this way?
Q. Hi everyone. I've been dating my boyfriend for almost a year. We recently started talking about moving in together. I felt anxious about that cause although we get along very well, I still think we're in the "honeymoon" period or something. Any...
A. 13 April 2016: Anon female of april 13th, actually there's a reason why some of us choose to not focus strictly just on the question.
It's because, much more often than not, the past explains, or at least helps to understand, what's going on in the present. And ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's attitude towards my godchild turned me off. Am I wrong for feeling this way?
Q. Hi everyone. I've been dating my boyfriend for almost a year. We recently started talking about moving in together. I felt anxious about that cause although we get along very well, I still think we're in the "honeymoon" period or something. Any...
A. 12 April 2016: Erm, not to be nitpicky, but ... whatever culture you may belong , the Code of Canon Law is only one and it applies to any culture and location all over the world. . Code of Canon Law, comma 874, specifies that among the requirement for being ... (read in full...)
What could be going on with this moody co-worker?
Q. This guy with a girlfriend of 7 years, suddenly starts to flirt with a longtime cowoker. But he started doing this after having a very hot/cold relationship (non-sexual) with another coworker who stopped talking to him. When that coworker gave hi...
A. 12 April 2016: ... Then he is dumb. Or dense. How can he not know ?
I mean, it figures, right ?, that if somebody curses at you, and in a work setting where you are supposed to keep things professional, then you, the cursed person, will be very possibly anno... (read in full...)
If a guy has a wart on his penis, then is it genital warts ? And for how long can genital warts be dormant in a person?
Q. Hi all my boyfriend has a wart on his penis which he is not sure where it came from. We have been together for nearly 3 years and I know he has been completely faithful as am I. I don't have any warts or anything. My question is, For how lon...
A. 12 April 2016: FWIW, the way I know it,it is that there are over 100 strains of HPV, about 30 of which can cause genital warts. Of these, the more common, the more.. " popular " by a great length are strain 6 and strain 11, which generally pass from latent to ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's attitude towards my godchild turned me off. Am I wrong for feeling this way?
Q. Hi everyone. I've been dating my boyfriend for almost a year. We recently started talking about moving in together. I felt anxious about that cause although we get along very well, I still think we're in the "honeymoon" period or something. Any...
A. 12 April 2016: I have to disagree with most of the responders and for once even with my alter ego Honeypie !!
Or to be precise, yes I can see where you are coming from- but I can see where he is coming from even more.
Poor boyfriend. Damned if he does, da... (read in full...)
How do I stop distancing myself from my BF? I've convinced myself he's cheating.
Q. I really need help. I have been distancing myself from my boyfriend of 2 years for the last little while. Maybe 6 months or so. It's been a slow and steady process. Designed to protect my heart from getting hurt very badly. I just could never trus...
A. 11 April 2016: I concur with Tisha- 1. This is a medical problem. Words can only go so far, whether they are words of reassurance or encouragement or reproach.
Any sentence that starts with " I cannot function in my daily life anymore ... " screams for a spec... (read in full...)
He says my vagina is too loose and that I'm cheating
Q. Ive been with my boyfriend since i was 16 im 23 now. Our sex life has always been good but now he has been saying im too loose and he thinks im cheating on him, which im not!! I have been feeling the difference also but im not sure why my vagina is ...
A. 11 April 2016: I think you are feeling the difference because your bf is brainwashing you into believing that there is a difference. Biut how your vagina could have suddenly loosened at 23 ? Only if you JUST had had a baby ( and it would go back to normal within ... (read in full...)
My ex contacted me and then I found out he's living with a girl. Should I just tell him and cut all contact?
Q. Well this is kind of a mess of a story but about a week ago my ex boyfriend randomly contacted me through facebook and for the past few days we've been just catching up and chatting about old times, our family, etc. Nothing sexual or flirty ...
A. 11 April 2016: Maybe I am too suspicious but I tend to agree with the anon male reader. I am a bit skeptical about the possibility that your ex just wanted to be nice and polite, and find out how you have been doing etc. Maybe ; but maybe the initiative is not so ... (read in full...)
I got drunk and revealed too much of myself to him and now he's ignoring me
Q. Hello. I've been feeling really miserable and need advice. The guy I really like was in the city for some work. We planned to meet but he got stuck somewhere. I waited for 3 hours alone despite him asking me not to. We finally met and it was good. ...
A. 11 April 2016: You assume that your behaviour during the second day turned off someone who was interested, but I doubt that your assumption is correct. He showed up with a friend the second day, which he would not have done if he had been romantically inclined. ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend has a small penis!
Q. My boyfriend is has a considerably small penis. When we have sex I'm unable to achieve an orgasm through penetration, only foreplay (oral, fingering) but I've never told him this in order not to hurt his feelings. We've been together for a little ...
A. 10 April 2016: If you can reach orgasm through just penetration alone you are lucky because not many women can. Then again, if you can reach orgasm through just penetration , ... nevertheless your anatomy won't be different from that of other women and your ... (read in full...)
How could people be so rude about my wedding?
Q. Hi, I don't know if I can post on here but I really need to vent and feel so upset. I got married in October and my husband and I were on a really tight budget, even though we had been saving for 2 years, making sacrifices and working every ext...
A. 10 April 2016: I know I am gonna put my foot in my mouth and say something that may offend you ,because it's a critique to your relatives, and to posters who may have opted for a superfancy wedding- but some times I just CAN'T keep my big mouth shut , so...
.... (read in full...)
Would you be thinking there's more to the story here or just a guy wanting to get away at a casino, all by himself?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating about 2 years. We have been arguing a lot lately and have broken up some but then gotten back togther. I have never doubted his faithfulness to me. And I know he feels the same about me. So trust has never been an ...
A. 10 April 2016: I would go mhhhhhh too.
I don't know... when I feel I need to get away from it all , I usually end up at the public library :). At most at a health -and- beauty spa.
Now there's no law that say you cannot go far from the madding crowd ..to a c... (read in full...)
What should I do so he could leave me alone without hurting his feelings?
Q. My ex and I broke up about a week or 2 ago because he felt as though we weren't "compatible". I ve been coping with it and I honestly don t want to talk to him nor see him because it makes getting over him easier. Ever since we broke up he s been ...
A. 8 April 2016: Feelings schmeelings. He hurt your feelings when he dumped you, didn't he ? Why should you be so delicate in handling his ?
Mind you, I am not encoraging you to be vengeful, petty or spiteful. Not at all.
My point is, that when you take decision... (read in full...)
I need my mother to understand why I want to move out!
Q. Hello everyone, I'm 24, employed and living at home. I've been helping out with bills etc and when my mom told me she was buying a house with my stepfather I got concerned because I've been wanting to move out for ages. She doesn't make a lot and ...
A. 8 April 2016: As the other ladies said, just move out. You can take a horse to the water but you can't make it drink.
I think your mother understands perfectly already (... it's not that difficut to figure out ) that at 24 you want and need space, privacy, indi... (read in full...)
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