A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello. I've been feeling really miserable and need advice. The guy I really like was in the city for some work. We planned to meet but he got stuck somewhere. I waited for 3 hours alone despite him asking me not to. We finally met and it was good. I've never made such efforts for anyone before. I really do like him. Next day he called up and asked to meet before he leaves for his home which is 4 hours from my city. He was with a friend. We met and were chilling when I went a little overboard with drinks. I am not Much of a drinker but absent mindedly had a Lil too much while being busy in conversations. I revealed things about myself like my ambition and all which I never talk about to anyone. I said stupid things that I should never have said. And I don't look very good drunk. I was in my senses, not that drunk but the buzz made me talk without filters and I made a fool of myself. I'm not this person. I msgd him to clear it out, he asked me to chill and take it easy. But then I sent him friendly texts which were ignored and the way he is responding..it's clear he isn't interested. I was stupid enough to be friendly and text him again which was ignored too. I'm no drama queen but I did get in an argument with him and had tears for a second before I became 'normal' and took control of the situation again. I don't know what pissed him but I feel so bad and embarrassed. I get tears every time i think about it. I'm not that person. I revealed so much. I can't take it back. I feel like a fool now. Especially the way he is behaving. Instead of making me feel better, he is making it clear he doesn't want to talk. We have been such close friends since years and nothing that bad happened. I don't know what to do about this. I want to text him something like 'it was great catching up, take care, bye' or something to let him know I want to end the convo too and not clingy. I really don't know how to handle this. I feel so bad I talked so much like a fool about my life, my dreams with strangers and a guy who behaves like this now!
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female
reader, allthatjazz  +, writes (11 April 2016):
 Don't beat yourself up. It does take a little practice to master self-restraint. I'm sure you won't be committing the same mistakes again. For now, stop doing damage control because if you're thinking there's still a chance to make this work, and I'm going to agree with CindyCares on this, signs point that he wasn't interested at all to begin with. If you want to get a man's attention, you have to make yourself a little scarce. If diamonds were a commonplace, there wouldn't be any point why they should be sought after.
Focus on what makes you feel good, the rest will come.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (11 April 2016):
 I wouldn't feel bad for sharing your future dreams with someone who turned out to not be interested.
Because THAT is what I think this is about, he wasn't really interested.
It's not like talking ambitions is SUCH a big no-no. Maybe getting tipsy and making the meeting ALL about you, not letting anyone else talk, now that would have been a no-no.
You say you have known him for years, so my guess is he saw/sees you as a friend, no more and your behavior (waiting for 3 hours, even when he said not to do that) gave him an indication that you were not looking to meet up with a friend. That you seemed to have feelings for him.
For now... STOP texting him. Give him a week. If you don't hear from him within a week, then you know he is definitely NOT interested. And you can act accordingly.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (11 April 2016):
 You assume that your behaviour during the second day turned off someone who was interested, but I doubt that your assumption is correct. He showed up with a friend the second day, which he would not have done if he had been romantically inclined. And the first day he discouraged you from waiting for him, which , again, probably he would not have done if he had been really interested.
I am afraid that all he had in mind was the occasion to kill a few hours during a visit in another city.
In other words, while your little antics may have not impressed him favourably ( it depends though from what really happened. What is wrong about opening up about your goals and ambitions ??? why should that be a bad thing ? ) I don't think they would have been enough to turn off a genuine interest. In short, if now he acts distant and does not react to your texts, - chances are that he was not really interested to begin with.
But it's a moot point ,IMO. You texted him, explained yourself, and texted again, and again- and he is ignoring you. Enough. You threw the ball, he let it blatantly drop. Too bad, but , now don't chase him !
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A
female
reader, wrathykins +, writes (11 April 2016):
 Just don't text him again. You've tried that, and you've got no reply. Texting again WILL make you seem clingy, so just don't speak to him.
If he really is interested, he WILL reach out to you. And if that doesn't happen, well good riddance. There's not much you can do now.
Try not to worry too much about it, we all say silly things after a few drinks. If he holds that against you, then it's his loss.
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