Get together that left me feeling excluded
Q. Myself and 3 friends went out for dinner saturday night. I don’t drive so when we go out one of them usually picks me up (all 3 of them live quite close by to me) and I always offer to pay towards petrol or buy them a drink so it’s not as if ...
A. 28 February 2024: It seems odd that after 15 years of friendship they are being funny with you and excluding you.
It really does seem a minor thing if its all about the driving thing. As you have said you have offered to pay petrol money and buy drinks.
If n... (read in full...)
Is it normal to hurt when your ex has a new girlfriend?
Q. Is it normal for it to hurt when your ex gets a girlfriend? So 2 months ago me and my ex split up after he cheated on me. I caught him and he still lied to my face. It has almost nearly broken me but I’ve managed to pick myself up and I was star...
A. 23 February 2024: I know it does not feel like it now but time is the healer of all things and these feelings will soon dissipate and you will be free of any emotional attachment you have to him.
He betrayed your trust, he was horrible to you, so you could te... (read in full...)
Should I be suspicious of his ex-wife?
Q. Friend with benefits just got out of the hospital for open heart surgery. His ex-wife has been at his house twice a day to cook breakfast and dinner since he came home, though I offered to help. Should I be suspicious that something more i...
A. 20 February 2024: I don't know how many years they were married, they may have been married for many years, have kids together, and had an amicable separation.
by your own admission you are both friends with benefits so on that basis he can do what he likes, a... (read in full...)
I cannot tell when men are interested
Q. I've never had a bf and I am bad at reading signs of interest from a guy (yes, I know I am almost 30 and still boyfriendless). A guy and I were in a conversation, and because I liked him, I started laughing randomly mid-conversation. There was ...
A. 20 February 2024: * meant to say best medicine, not bed medicine *... (read in full...)
I cannot tell when men are interested
Q. I've never had a bf and I am bad at reading signs of interest from a guy (yes, I know I am almost 30 and still boyfriendless). A guy and I were in a conversation, and because I liked him, I started laughing randomly mid-conversation. There was ...
A. 20 February 2024: They do say that laughter is the bed medicine, also laugh or smile and the world does it with you.
There is no rush to meet anyone, go along the lines of you would like to meet someone but you don't need to meet someone.
I think the most i... (read in full...)
She’s angry I didn’t tell her, her ex got married!
Q. I fear I have just lost a dear friend and long friendship over a silly mistake that I didn’t even know I made! My friends fiancé cheated on her 3 years ago. Obviously she was devastated. My friend does not have a facebook account, never h...
A. 20 February 2024: Very odd behaviour indeed, she made it quite clear that she never wanted to know, and to be honest she should have moved on with her life now and got over this.
We all have ex's, so what if they have tied the not now, the relationships done and... (read in full...)
He is controlling and I'm worried that the bad outweighs the good
Q. I was in a relationship for 8 years, 2 children and a wedding booked when I found out he was having an affair with a woman he worked with. We split up but stayed amicable for our children. 3 years down the line and I went through some serious ...
A. 29 January 2024: Can people like this change?. I would go along the lines of no.
You will never find the qualities in a man like he has to offer?. Well i totally don't agree with you there because you most certainly will find someone with good qualities, and prob... (read in full...)
Sister in law has some odd quirks which at times cause hassle!
Q. My sister in law has some funny quirks- she is a nice lady and makes my brother happy which is the main thing but sometimes she does things that make no sense and just create more hassle. I’m probably going to be told to mind my own business ...
A. 29 January 2024: I agree the scenarios you mentioned is very odd behaviour indeed. she does sound a strange one for sure, but at the end of the day she is the one your brother married, and he is obviously happy.
I would be inclined to just take her actions ... (read in full...)
She is in pursuit of me
Q. So about a month ago this girl I was close friends with cut contact from me. We kind of had an argument and then other people said some things/rumors she got upset about. For the past week or so she seems to be for lack of a better word 'in pursuit'...
A. 29 January 2024: To be honest you are never going to know if she has a crush on you unless you actually ask her.
I really don't think she would follow you around and do the things she does if she never liked you, you would just not put that effort in for someone ... (read in full...)
My husband s a hoarder of cars and computers
Q. Dear Cupid I am married to my spouse for last 6 years and been together for 10 years. No pets and no kids. I love my husband dearly. We both work full time and share our house workloads. Everything is great, but he has been hoarding cars an...
A. 29 January 2024: Sounds to me like you husband is a master of procrastination on top of being a serial hoarder.
Do you have a big house with lots of land and not to many neighbours?. I only ask this because i would not imagine its that nice for your neighbou... (read in full...)
Curiosity killed the cat
Q. Curiosity got the best of me. I am almost certain she isn’t honest but I feel bad because I don’t think she’s comfortable but I asked my friend indirectly if she was gay. It’s several reasons why I want to know and think she is. Anyways when I asked ...
A. 24 January 2024: I guess its a personal thing that she did not want discussed with other people and you have now given her a reason not to trust you again.
What’s the likelihood she will come back and we can be friends again?! Well thats kind of impossib... (read in full...)
Something just feels off about him
Q. I started seeing this guy at the end of November 2023. On our second date, he asked me about my dating history and he proceeded to tell him his. He told me he still talks daily to his most recent ex and that she is always asking him to get back ...
A. 24 January 2024: Call it your womans intuition, if something inside you is telling you that something feels off then there is a good chance it is.
Its important to read the red flags, and he is certainly displaying quite a few of these.
The question is coul... (read in full...)
I am confused about what he wants
Q. Hey everyone and thank you in advance for your advice. I met a guy from the USA while he was working in my hometown ( I'm European). We hit it off on our first date and long story short we've been seeing each other for 2 months now. He recently...
A. 9 January 2024: I agree with you that 2 months is not really a great deal of time to have been in a relationship and getting to know someone, but I guess sometimes if you have that connection you know when you know don't you.
I think that he likes you, and does... (read in full...)
Don’t want my friend tagging along to my birthday weekend!!
Q. I know this is going to make me sound spoilt and like a coward… It’s my 40th birthday coming up shortly and my husband is treating us both to an overnight stay in a cabin in a zoo- it’s something I’ve wanted to do for years. A few ...
A. 9 January 2024: I think that your husband should have discussed inviting her with you in private then at least you could have both come up with decision to not invite her.
He has really put you on the spot by inviting her like this because now you have the dile... (read in full...)
Guy I'm dating pressures me
Q. Hello, and thanks I'm currently in a dating someone for approximately 8 months. He pressures me to see him frequently. He pressures me to talk on the phone. As an example. I'm sick and have barely any voice he will start texting and I'll...
A. 9 January 2024: I think in a relationship its important to look out for red flags.
From what you have mentioned in your post what he has done to you would make most people ditch him and run for the hills.
Your post is just full of negatives about him, and to ... (read in full...)
I want to tell my family I have an 18 year old daughter
Q. When I was 18 years old, I got my girlfriend, Stephanie, pregnant. She is the same age as I am. Due to different reasons, we choose to put our daughter up for adoption. Her family knows that she had a daughter and that I'm the father. Stephani...
A. 8 January 2024: It a tough one, but i feel here that all you can be is brutally honest, so i would choose the moment that feels right and just explain what happened then just let the chips fall where they may.
A lot of water has passed under the bridge, Your par... (read in full...)
My family found out I don't keep the gifts they give me. How do I handle this?
Q. My family (my parents, my brother, my sister-in-law and my sister-in-law's family) are terrible at buying gifts for me. They usually buy me clothes that don't fit, items that I don't need or want and other items that are useless to me. I us...
A. 8 January 2024: I would just be honest with your family and tell them a few months before Christmas not to buy you clothes or items for the house.
I think that for anyone, including myself i hate having clothes brought for myself because you are then in that sit... (read in full...)
Why block me?
Q. So this is a weird one, I came across a local musician online. Thought his music was great, had a few conversations with him. Sometimes I got the impression he liked me but I put clear boundaries down of no. I'm here for music and music only. All ...
A. 8 January 2024: How very strange, not sure why that happened, or why he would do that.
As you say you are there for music and music only so just carry on as you are and carry on enjoying what your doing and try to not let the actions of some strange people r... (read in full...)
Friend's style changed dramatically after breakup
Q. Concern over friend Friend recently had a break up about 6 weeks ago. She works at a school and went from dressing very girly/feminine like skirts and dresses everyday. She still wears dresses but now dresses in all black daily and wears litera...
A. 5 January 2024: I think we all have very different ways of dealing with things and all adopt various coping mechanisms to deal with loss and break ups or being cheated on, and this is her way.
Just maybe keep an eye on her from time to time, be a friend, ... (read in full...)
My mom is pregnant by a man 4 years older than me
Q. My problem is simple My mother is 41 years old. I found by chance ultrasound picture show that she is 10 weeks pregnant. When i asked her, she confirmed her pregnancy and want me to meet the father. When i met him, i found that he is the young man...
A. 5 January 2024: You can't force your Mum to have an abortion, neither can you force her to terminate the relationship, she is a grown adult capable of making her own decisions.
I know its not an ideal situation, and yes I understand that this could be hard for... (read in full...)
How do I talk to my crush
Q. I'm in university right now and I have a crush on someone from another major.. I confessed to him but through our university anonymous confession channel. Now he knew that somebody like him.. But how do I text him first?? Like we never even talk to ...
A. 26 December 2023: I don't think that you should send a text, i feel this could come off worse for you.
I would wait for the perfect time, a time that feels right for you and strike up a conversation with him. Just start off with short and sweet conversa... (read in full...)
How to reframe my mind for healthy dating after toxic past
Q. So if you see my previous posts I was in what I now consider a toxic relationship for almost 2 years. I will spare the details but I essentially felt used, discarded, and led-on by my ex-boyfriend who I considered to be a pretty nice guy. I'm not ...
A. 24 December 2023: Ok i know you have some bad experiences with regards to dating, and you feel you are surrounded by negative relationships.
I am a great believer that time is the healer of all things, and its so important to refrain from dating and get yourself... (read in full...)
Boyfriend's admission of cheating has left me uncertain
Q. Hello My boyfriend and I have been in a relationship about a year. He just admitted because of my work schedule he cheated once with an older woman he met online. He was very casual about it when telling me. I suspected something was up...
A. 24 December 2023: I can't stress enough how important trust is in a relationship. In fact its the biggest contributing factor that make a relationship work. Without trust a relationship is often doomed.
He knew exactly what he was doing, he new full well what job... (read in full...)
Husband wants to argue about everything
Q. Hi! My husband's moods have gotten alot worse. He's very irritable. Always angry and causing arguments with me, over the smallest issues. I believe he has low testosterone and he refuses to go to a doctor to check what is going on. It's har...
A. 18 December 2023: I really appreciate how difficult this must be for you, and it must be very stressful living under these conditions.
I feel in these situations communication is the key here, i think you need to sit down and have a chat and find out what is going... (read in full...)
I am interested in him but is a married coworker also interested in him?
Q. They are supposedly 'just friends' but I have possibly noticed a few things but will focus on asking about one. Whenever I am at work and dressed really nice, looking pretty or what some would consider 'sexy' she goes out of her office to talk and ...
A. 13 December 2023: Firstly i am going to say its never a good idea to date co-workers as things can get very messy when/if things never worked out.
I think you are thinking to much about this situation between him and this other colleague. For starters she is marri... (read in full...)
What should I do about the feelings I have towards a coworker?
Q. I(28M) work in a small organisation with a handful of people in the team. I'm the most senior person in the group and we all report to the owner of the organisation. About half a year back a girl joined our organisation. She is a very polite and ...
A. 13 December 2023: I think its very grown up and mature of you to recognise that dating someone you work so close with is not a good idea. This would of been precisely my advice to you. Its all well and good dating a co-worker when things are going well, but if things ... (read in full...)
Do I need to be more ambitious in life?
Q. I’ve been at my current workplace for almost 18 years. Im 40. I’ve had a couple of promotions (nothing fancy) and I get to work on different projects which varies and to be honest I admit I’m settled and happy and have no desire to find ...
A. 29 November 2023: First of all it does not matter what they think, if they see you as boring then so be it.
By your own admission you say that you are happy and settled and have no desire to find another job. You are happy there so why would you leave.
I actua... (read in full...)
The guy I'm dating is too clingy
Q. I've been dating a guy for the last few months, we've had sex and he was a virgin. I have a history of sexual abuse which I have told him about and told him sometimes I need a bit of space around sex or I feel pushed and suffocated. He said he ...
A. 29 November 2023: No this is not normal, and he should respect your boundries and learn that No means No.
Your decision to stop seeing him is a wise choice, you need someone who will show you respect and not keep invading your space when you have said no.
Fini... (read in full...)
My dance partner has been behaving strangely with me
Q. I have a friend who is also my dance partner and we have been dancing together for a year. We're extremely close, and most people tend to think we're in a relationship and we keep having to tell them we're not. He is married and he has a daughte...
A. 29 November 2023: Yes I think that you are doing the right thing by distancing yourself. He is wrong to be flirting with you and sending you the texts he does.
He has crossed the boundries of professionalism so things are always going to feel rather awkward ... (read in full...)
Ex contacted me to wish me a Happy Birthday
Q. So about 2 months ago I came here and asked a question regarding about going to therapy about a girl I was romantically involved with leaving me. I come back ask the situation with her has changed entirely that I've had what can only describe as an ...
A. 29 November 2023: I think that there are just to many complications with her, you tried with her but it never worked so time to move on.
I don't know why she text happy birthday, but I would accept that its never going to work with her and move on. You have bee... (read in full...)
FWB not working out and I want more
Q. I stopped sleeping with FWB recently because he insulted me. He said I wanted more and was into drama because I questioned him about a woman that was in his vehicle (ex wife) because they had to take care of a bank issue. Not questioning WHY she was ...
A. 18 October 2023: In all honesty in my opinion if someone is just a FWB you are not really in a place to question what they are doing or who they are with.
By your own admission you said you knew who he was with and what he was doing, so why did you feel the need... (read in full...)
Whirlwind vacationship gone wrong
Q. Thank you all for reading my story: I am 35 years old, and on a recent trip to the Pacific, I met a man 10 years older and we fell in love. After a brief week together, we parted ways, only to reunite in Thailand weeks later to see where things...
A. 17 October 2023: Well I think that you have given a relationship with him a fair shot and unfortunately it has not worked. I feel if you try again I fail to see how things would improve.
I think that you should save yourself future upset and heartache and call... (read in full...)
Why do FWB get so possessive?
Q. Why do fwb get so possessive? I really never had a good experience, that's why I want to give up on it. Even pleasant conversation and flirting and cuddling goes away as soon as the sex starts. I've had several year long friendships go away as soon ...
A. 17 October 2023: Life is a learning curve, you are only young so just put these previous encounters down to experience.
We have all had bad experiences and relationships that we would rather forget, but each one of these experiences there is a lesson to be learn... (read in full...)
I don't want to be pushed into sex. How do I express I want it to come naturally?
Q. Hello, I was chatting with someone online for about 5 years. He finally moved to my country. I have seen him several times since he moved here. We get along well, he seems very serious. He reminds me he moved here for me. We haven't had s...
A. 16 October 2023: I would be very cautious over this situation because I sense a red flag.
You were chatting for five years, so you had not actually met. Him saying he came here for you and is now pressuring you into something your not ready to do.
This is... (read in full...)
Why send me the photos
Q. Meet a guy for sex every blue moon. Last time was over a month ago. I think he said, Thanks for letting me use you for sex or I use you for sex. I replied, and me with you too. He sent me a photo of himself ages a go of himself having a drink. H...
A. 27 September 2023: Its difficult to say why he sends them, it is an odd thing to do for sure.
At the end of the day he is just someone you meet for casual sex once in a blue moon, which i'm guessing you are happy to do, and assuming your not looking for anything... (read in full...)
Colleague ruined spa day. Do I inform management of her behavior?
Q. My workplace paid for myself and a colleague to a spa day last week as we were the top 2 in our team with the highest sales records. Often they treat staff members who have hit target with things like this and this was both our first time. ...
A. 26 September 2023: To be perfectly honest i would not mention it when you go back and your manager asks how it went, as you say it could go against you and look bad for the workplace.
Where ever you go in life you are always going to come across a Debbie Downer o... (read in full...)
I am missing my partner after our breakup
Q. I have recently left my partner, who I didn’t want to leave but the relationship was toxic. He blamed me for everything that was wrong, said I didn’t communicate with him. I did, but he didn’t want to listen or compromise on anything. We were ...
A. 25 September 2023: You should not regret your decision because you 100% did the right thing.
the relationship was toxic and coming with that a myriad of red flags, you were right to do what you did.
You just need to give yourself time, the feelings you are... (read in full...)
Embarrassed him at the airport & things haven’t been the same since.
Q. I’ve made a complete fool of myself and not sure how to fix it…. Please don’t tell me it’s my fault as I know it is and I’m not looking for sympathy. I’ve been with my boyfriend for 4 years- we don’t live together (we both rent our own pro...
A. 24 September 2023: I actually agree with your friends and family, i think he is being too sensitive and unappreciative.
You both had not seen each other in a long time, i just think that a couple in love who have not seen each other in months the reaction at the a... (read in full...)
Followup to post produce
Q. This is a follow up to my post on the 29th August “ Are we being harsh by no longer giving neighbors fresh produce as they seem to take advantage?” I wanted to thank everyone for backing us up and making us realize we weren’t being harsh for ...
A. 22 September 2023: Well done you, you did the right thing.
Lol, I agree, what a cheeky cow. ... (read in full...)
Accused of bragging about my 2nd property at work
Q. My husband and i recently bought a 2nd property - it’s an apartment on the beach here in the UK. We’ve saved up and made sacrifices for years to be able to do this and are proud that we have been able to do so. At work last week a few ...
A. 19 September 2023: I think sometimes social media is more trouble than what its worth to be honest. If i was you i would not have anyone from work on your social media, just your close friends and family.
You are always going to get jealous people, who want to ... (read in full...)
Early friend dating and sensing a conflcit coming
Q. I have an inquiry about new friends. I try and be very open to different kinds of friends. I've seen people who are closed off and I feel they miss out on great people because they are so safety-concerned and any sign of remote conflict, sends them ...
A. 18 September 2023: You really have not know him for very long, and the little time you have there are some red flags, which are a sign that you should walk away.
Passive aggression, ridicule, low key aggression, drink drugs. Come on OP, you know in your heart of... (read in full...)
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