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... Send *scalaya a private message | | | *scalaya's profile:I am born of the hopes, and ambitions of my mother and father. Every day I instill hopes, and dreams in other people. I inspire the young to do their best, and the old to rekindle the flames of hope. I am a poet, a lover, a skater. I am a musician, a healer, and most important of all, I am like everyone else. I hold no uniqueness, everyone has the power to be great, amazing people. But just like the capacity for that exists, so does the capacity to be a crude, devilish person. It's your choice, choose your path. No matter what you decide, stick to your guns, keep your head up high, take confident, deep strides. And never let go of your dignity. Because at the end of the day, that's one of the only things we have left.
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Spotting before period - a precursor to pregnancy?
Q. Now, some of you may have seen my answers to many questions before, but I'm more of a relationship-advice type person, I know nothing about anatomy, nor the biology of a human being. My girlfriend and I had sex [she was lightly spotting, which ...
A. 27 November 2009: just an update, the bleeding was related to the Depo provera shot, she's stopped taking it and the bleeding is going away, she still bleeds every once in a while, but mostly it's done with. :)... (read in full...)
Students Falling in love with Their Teachers can really hurt? Your Opinions?
Q. Students look up to teachers because they're smart. They are mature. They're possibly good looking. They've had interesting lives. All the things all people look for in a character. But students can't do anything about it. ...
A. 16 July 2008: I feel there's nothing wrong with loving your teacher,or your teacher loving you.
But the teacher should realize the the laws are against them in every possible way.
If it's mutual love, and understanding, and you want to take that risk, go fo... (read in full...)
Spotting before period - a precursor to pregnancy?
Q. Now, some of you may have seen my answers to many questions before, but I'm more of a relationship-advice type person, I know nothing about anatomy, nor the biology of a human being. My girlfriend and I had sex [she was lightly spotting, which ...
A. 16 July 2008: We were using condoms, of course. Trojan-enz with spermicide lubrication.
And we religiously checked each condom (after use) for holes by filling it with water, to see if any leaked. Lol. ... (read in full...)
Could I still be pregnant if his pre-cum didn't get inside me?
Q. Me and this close friend had sex. i was a virgin and he wasn't. we both were clothed, but we had sex without protection. then he pulled out of my vagina. then he pre cam on the floor. can i still get pregnant if the pre cum never got inside me ?...
A. 15 July 2008: Yes, you absolutely can. Men are constantly excreting sperm, to lubricate the head of the penis when aroused , much like Women when they get wet.
This liquid contains sperm cells much like the sperm that comes out when a man climaxes.
It is S... (read in full...)
Help, I'm In love with my stepbrother!!!
Q. My Mom will be getting married to a very nice man in March of 09. This man has a son that is 14, I am 13 and I REALLY REALLY like him, maybe evan LOVE HIM! I have never felt this way about anyone in my life, I have had several crushes before but ...
A. 15 July 2008: Well he is of no blood relation, but it could still be awkward.
I've never been sure of the laws regarding relationships with family that is not of any slight blood relation what-so-ever, but I'd assume it's as looked down upon as sex with a f... (read in full...)
Why doesn't he care about my family's health, or is it just a 'guy thing' to have no feelings?
Q. Hi, I'm getting married in about a month but I have a question. I'm wondering if my fiance is just very insensitive or if it is just a guy thing. A few years ago (during the first year that we were dating) my mother was in the hospital for s...
A. 9 May 2008: I disagree, I don't feel anything's necessarily "wrong", I'm sure he does have feelings, but it's hard for some people to feel worried, sad, or compassionate about people that they have no emotional ties too. I know if my girlfriend told me her dad ... (read in full...)
I feel that masturbating is the reason my grades have dropped!
Q. I do masturbate and I feel so sick about it. I'm only 13 but everyone in my family knows that I do it. I'm not sure what to do. I need help and also don't tell me about how it's so healthy, and it's natural, because I use a back massager to masturba...
A. 7 April 2008: Jamer70 is correct. But if you honestly feel that masturbation has caused this issue, then just. stop. masturbating. ... (read in full...)
How do I get my equality and power back in this marriage, and how do I deal with his threats of divorce?
Q. Im in need of major advice: My hubby and I just got married last fall, and already he's been threatening with divorce. Begging of this year we have moved to the US due to his work and thus I am a housewife since I am unable to work since ...
A. 3 April 2008: Personally, I think you should get out of that relationship. But let's take a different look at this.
He's been very attentive to another female, accusing you of things, and picking fights. He's distanced himself from you, and seems to be unintere... (read in full...)
Do all men stay bitter?
Q. Do men ever get over their past relationships ?..I am in my early forties. Divorced and have 3 kids. Was married for 14 yrs. My marriage was awful, I got out and moved on. Have been divorced now for 4 yrs. Why does it seem like men in my age group ...
A. 3 April 2008: Men and women are alike in this aspect, believe it or not I've had some people pull a "psycho-ex" move on me, I've had girls try to cut my breaks, believe it or not. I've never held ill-will towards any of my ex's, it's just guys after being left ... (read in full...)
Are we more than friends and he's just waiting for my divorce to be final or am I reading too much into it?
Q. I have been best friends with a man for about 1.5 years now. I am separated from my husband for over a year (live in difft cities) and he is single and has very old-fashioned values. He will only date a woman that is single, divorced or widowed. ...
A. 1 April 2008: Best thing to do, would be to ask him about his feelings! Don't fancy yourself a mind reader, or anyone else. Ask him, and be sure.
~One love,
Escalaya... (read in full...)
I didn't respond to him that well and now he's talking with my friend...what is he up to?
Q. Hey!! OK I will make this short and straight!!! Recently me and my best friend have been hanging out with few other guys from our college who our elder to us for work purpose..and at first I noticed that there would be this guy who would always look ...
A. 1 April 2008: I think he tried for you, gave up, and moved on. There's no way anyone's speculation could be solid just based on what information's been given to us. Just be there for your friend, if he ever does do something wrong.
~One love,
Escalaya... (read in full...)
Is this smegma? And what could it do if I had unprotected sex?
Q. When my penis head is fully exposed its very red and shiny and feels very numb as I feel I have a thick layer of smegma, so I think anyway. What else could it be and if anything else how can I prevent it other than washing. Also if I still...
A. 1 April 2008: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Smegma
Unfortunately, that's the best help I myself can offer you, my apologies.
~One love,
Escalaya... (read in full...)
What are the Tell-Tale signs of your girlfriend cheating on you?
Q. We've all seen those online-articles, magazine articles, about how to tell if you're dating a "playa" or if your man is cheating on you. But I've never seen the inverse of that. How can you tell if your girl's cheating on you? Let's be honest,...
A. 28 March 2008: Nono, it's not that I suspect anyone. As of this moment I'm single, I'm just curious, 'cause I see all these articles about how to tell if a man is cheating, but never have I seen one on how to tell if a woman is cheating.... (read in full...)
How can you tell if somebody loves you
Q. how do you know if someone loves you...
A. 25 March 2008: There's no way to TELL if someone loves you.
When someone truly loves you, it's not something that can be shown through action, or words alone. You -FEEL- it, I like to think that love is like the wind, it's felt. Not seen.
~One Love,
E... (read in full...)
My boyfriend fingered me yesterday and I'm bleeding today...is there something wrong?
Q. hi im sixteen and my boyfriend and i are sexually active...we've had sex a few times, and he's fingered me a lot. I was fingered once before by a different guy and i masturbate a lot. I dont ever remember my hymen being broken and thats my problem. ...
A. 25 March 2008: I highly doubt your Hymen is the issue.
Generally, when a female's hymen breaks it'll only bleed a little bit, when the action that breaks the hymen takes place. What I mean is, if you have sex now, and break it, it won't bleed tomorrow.
I st... (read in full...)
He's seeing new people and is happy without me. Will I ever get over him?
Q. Hi Im 18 and me and my ex have recently broken up. I thought I was fine for about a week but then I realised that he is happy without me and is seeing other girls. I feel terrible, I was nearly physically sick when I found out. Many think that our ...
A. 25 March 2008: Of course you'll get over him, hun. It just takes time. Just keep your head up high, smile, and look towards the future, 'cause there'll be another guy who'll make you happier then this one ever did.
Take care of yourself, sunshine.
~One Lo... (read in full...)
Whenever I criticise his porn viewing he brings up my past and calls me a slut!
Q. I've been with this guy for about 4 years... at least that's how HE puts it. We hung out together for one year, have lived together for the past 3, but in my mind, have been officially a couple for maybe 1. I have always tried to make it perfectly ...
A. 25 March 2008: I feel that it's wrong of him to bring it up constantly, like that.. However, I also feel that unless you made it CLEAR in those first 3 years that you two were not boyfriend and girlfriend (I mean actually TELLING him that, not just saying "Unless ... (read in full...)
A guy asked me out, but I don't want to date him. How can I reject him without upseting him?
Q. this guy has asked me out. i told him that i would think about it, but i dont want to go out with him. i just want to be friends, thats it. but i feel if i dont say yes hes going to be upset and cry i cant handle that from him. i like him as a ...
A. 5 February 2008: The best thing to do, hun, is be honest. Don't tell him he's an uninteresting, ugly wop. Or anything of the sort, just let him know you don't feel for him like that, he'll be a little sad, but I doubt he'll cry.
Honesty is always the best way.
... (read in full...)
Strange Sensation. What is causing it?
Q. Hello. I have a bit of an embarrassing problem. Throughout today, every 30 minutes or so (sometimes less than that) I have felt this strange sensation in my anus. It feels a bit like it is vibrating very lightly, and I have no idea what is cau...
A. 5 February 2008: It could just be gas in your body, sometimes when I've got gas, i can feel it rumbling down there, I'm sure that's what it is, if it gets worse, or the sensation becomes more distressing, I advise seeing a doctor.... (read in full...)
I still feel insecure that he would be looking at women who are so much more endowed, how do I get past these feelings of inadequacy?
Q. I'm upset because I looked at my bf's history and found that he had looked at youtube clips of women. They weren't nude but were huge busted women wearing bikinis and lingerie. He feels very bad about upsetting me and feels bad that it's such a...
A. 5 February 2008: This probably won't help much, but remember that when it comes down to it at the end of the day, you're the one whom he goes home with.
They're videos, it's like watching a movie, it doesn't mean you want to be the person in the movie, just mea... (read in full...)
What can I do about the situation and can I deny the DNA test, given that I'm a teenager pregnant with my cousin's baby??
Q. I'm 17 years old. Me and my cousin have been dating for a while, it feels weird to be attracted to my cousin but i really do have lots of feelings for him. Anyway i'm about 5 months pregnant with his child. My parents already know about my pregnancy ...
A. 5 February 2008: Well, I'm pretty sure incest is illegal in the U.S. now-a-days ?
As a teenager, I think it varies from state to state, but I believe you cannot deny the DNA test if your parents request it.... (read in full...)
How can we make it last?
Q. Me and my girlfriend have been together for a few weeks now and I just want some tips on how to make our relationship last. We both have a lot in common and we're both really weird and quiet. I am really happy when I'm with her and I don't want it ...
A. 14 October 2007: Always treat her with love and respect, and always treat her well. Be honest with yourself, and her, stay faithful, and remember. A relationship is a compilation of compromises, not conquests.
Best of luck.... (read in full...)
Love, am I in love? Are we in love?
Q. How do you know when you're in love? i think about her when i wake up, all day, and b4 sleep... i feel all funny when i kiss her like nothing can go wrong... she makes me feel on top of the world... when i'm with her, i'm always smiling and happ...
A. 12 October 2007: there's never a way to know true love for sure. Sometimes, love comes in many different shapes, and colors. Often times, also, Something else, such as lust is disguised as love.
If you really feel you love her, don't ask yourself if you do, or d... (read in full...)
Does he now feel that he made a Big Mistake and doesn't quiteknow how to make it right again?
Q. When love enters the heart and it won't let go sometimes we look for every moment to rekindle the fire. When I man who has thought it best a relationship breaks it off with you and you are devastated. You wonder when he suddenly begins calling again ...
A. 12 October 2007: Well, I know from experience; than men, (more specifically my self) tend to be confused, and not sure of what they want. However, if the man is closer to your age, that might not be so true.
I myself, even though the one I loved was right there, w... (read in full...)
How can I become more comfortable around her friends?
Q. 'ello, again. 'tis I, Escalaya. Anyways; Recently things have gotten alot better with my girlfriend, instead of just getting angry, and refusing to go, she comes along now, and her jealousy is cooling down. but.. Now, she wants me to hang out with ...
A. 12 October 2007: Well, It's not like I don't have communication skills, I usually can go into ANY situation, and easily make myself the center of attention, and grab peoples attention and keep it easily. It's just I don't want to say something rude to them, or act ... (read in full...)
How can I become more comfortable around her friends?
Q. 'ello, again. 'tis I, Escalaya. Anyways; Recently things have gotten alot better with my girlfriend, instead of just getting angry, and refusing to go, she comes along now, and her jealousy is cooling down. but.. Now, she wants me to hang out with ...
A. 12 October 2007: Ah ! My apologies. They're smilies, of sorts. I had a feeling I probably shouldn't have used them here. Should have listened to those feelings. They're basically other versions of ":)" showing different emotions.... (read in full...)
How can I tell if my boyfriend is my soulmate?
Q. I've come to the conclusion that I'm in love with my boyfriend, even though we haven't been together that long. I'm really scared that this relationship won't last long because we're so young, and I really do love him. I believe that to be in love ...
A. 10 October 2007: There's no real way to know for sure. The only way you can know is by taking the risk, and finding out if it's true love, and if he's really your soul mate. Just put everything you've got into the relationship, stay faithful to him, and be fair and ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is incredibly jealous! Why is she this way?
Q. My girlfriend of 5 years, now has recently become extremely jealous of me having contact with girls. Guys too. Well, anyone to be honest. If I'm not with her, she gets really anxious, and worried about what I'm doing, worried that I'm cheating, or ...
A. 8 October 2007: Thanks to everyone who took the time to reply, and help me out. It's very much appreciated!
I'm going to try and suggest, and urge her into seeing a good physician, and hopefully he'll suggest some medication, and a good therapis... (read in full...)
Should I try to call him, or wait for him to call me?
Q. theres this one guy who i got his number a while ago. we talked to each other alot. he seemed like a nice guy and i liked him. but he stopped calling me all of a sudden. is this a sign that he wants to break up if we were ever together? should i ...
A. 8 October 2007: If you want to be with him, you need to take the initiative. You can't wait for things in life, you must grab them, and make them yours.
"Grab the bull by the horns." I think is the saying. Grab life, or happiness. don't wait for it to come to ... (read in full...)
I'm in love with a 16 year old girl.
Q. hey. This may seem odd to a lot of people out there, but I think I'm in love with a 16 year-old girl. I'm friends with her mother who delivers baked goods to my shop. Sometimes "Diana", the mother, will send "Jocelyn", her daughter, to my shop to ...
A. 8 October 2007: Wait until she's 18, brotha` man. If you touch her in an inappropriate way, even if she consents, if her parents find out they can take legal action against you. I don't know what the legal ages, and stuff like that is in your country, so.. You ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is incredibly jealous! Why is she this way?
Q. My girlfriend of 5 years, now has recently become extremely jealous of me having contact with girls. Guys too. Well, anyone to be honest. If I'm not with her, she gets really anxious, and worried about what I'm doing, worried that I'm cheating, or ...
A. 8 October 2007: I'm constantly giving her affection, hell. I love giving her affection and spending alot of my time with her, I constantly surprise her, do romantic things for her, take her out on dates, hell. We're pretty much as good as we were when we first ... (read in full...)
I got called and Elephant and took it to heart. What is the average weight for a 5'3 girl anyway?
Q. Hi! I have had this problem for 3 weeks now and it's making me feel so down, drained, and depressed! To put it in a short version....well....I got called fat (an elephant) and I took it to heart and I starved myself for about 3-4 days....but...
A. 1 October 2007: "According to your height of 5' 3" your ideal healthy weight is 126 pounds. Your recommended weight range is between 112 and 140 pounds."
- http://www.healthstatus.com/calculate/iwc... (read in full...)
My bf told me he slept with a married woman 14 years ago, should we continue this if our moral compasses are so far apart?
Q. My boyfriend slept with a married woman about 14 years ago at work. He wants to forget about it but since he has told me, it practically broke up the relationship because it is something I would NEVER do (I've always thought people who do this are ...
A. 22 September 2007: Well, I was in a very similar position in the past, and let me tell you. The lsat thing I wanted was to dig up more Drama with that girl, I felt bad with the way I did it, and the way I ended it (she threatened me with all kinds of jazz) and, the ... (read in full...)
I work, study at night, do the cooking and more than my share of household duties, and feel unappreciated! Am I silly if I want a bit of help from her?
Q. Hi I am a 28yo Male who has been in a relationship for almost a year with my girlfriend also 28. we have lived together for 6 months. My problem is I am so miserable becasue i feel totally unappreciated I work 9 - 10 hour days and study at nig...
A. 20 September 2007: Not silly at all, my friend. You've every right to feel that way. Stop doing those things for her; attend to her needs a little less. stop the surprises, and gifts. When she complains about it; simply say. "I'm sorry. You never seemed to really care ... (read in full...)
Do you think he's still viewing porn?
Q. my husband used to visit porn sites until i found out [5 years ago]. he nas now put a password on his computer and has become avasive and sly. he sometimes comes to bed a few hours later than me which he never used to do. am i wrong to be ...
A. 13 September 2007: Hmm, ask him about it. Also, why not try watching it with him?
I used to do that too, my girlfriends solution to the problem was that she had to watch it with me. It's something i consider to be healthy (to OCCASIONALLY look at pornogra... (read in full...)
What do men think about a women asking them out?
Q. I am 36, female and single. I got chatting to this great guy who's single and 38, i felt that he liked me. I then asked him out on a date and he said Yes. What do men think about a women asking them out? ...
A. 12 September 2007: I find it very attractive when a girl has the confidence to ask me out, and who is ready to grab ahold of what she wants, and hold onto it tightly, instead of waiting for me to make the move.... (read in full...)
There were rumors of her cheating. I didnt believe them, but now she is upset with me anyway
Q. Me and my girlfriend have been dating for a year now and we just moved off to college. We both have never been so happy in our lives but last week someone I know started a rumor about her cheating on me. Although I trust her completely because of ...
A. 11 September 2007: well, i'd say just reassure her that you don't believe the rumors, that you trust her completely, and that you love her.
... (read in full...)
Nervous about a potential 1st boyfriend! Help!!
Q. (Ill try and keep it short) Im 15, never had a bf and never kissed. Now I like someone and he likes me back. Im pretty sure he'll be asking me out very soon. But im soooo nervous! Ive never opened up to a guy like that and Im not really sure how...
A. 8 September 2007: well, whether it works for you or not,that's always the best option. The worst thing you can do is plan it out, trust me. It'll never go according to plan. Just be honest with him, always. If you want to wait, and be friends, tell him that. If he ... (read in full...)
I think he cheated... What do you think?
Q. I think my partner is cheating on me, please advise We have been together for 14 years, and have lived together for nearly 7. I have a son by a previous relatonship who has left home. We live with our two other children who are 6 and 3. For so...
A. 8 September 2007: Well, you are suspicious for good reasons. However, don't let your trust issues cloud your vision, hun. You see, when you look for something you WILL find it, whether it be a product of your imagination, or mind, or it's real. Best thing to do is to ... (read in full...)
Is my mum's doctor coming onto her?? Is this normal??
Q. please could i get some very much needed help and advice regarding my mum and her doctor ,for a month now my mum who is a good looking woman for her age 59,has been visiting her doctor,regarding feeling low and down and finding things a bit tough ...
A. 7 September 2007: If you really need good proof, next time she goes in have her carry a Pocket Voice Recorder, once the appointment starts, have her turn it on, to record the whole appointment. If there was any bad behavior than it'd be caught on tape, and it would ... (read in full...)
Is my mum's doctor coming onto her?? Is this normal??
Q. please could i get some very much needed help and advice regarding my mum and her doctor ,for a month now my mum who is a good looking woman for her age 59,has been visiting her doctor,regarding feeling low and down and finding things a bit tough ...
A. 7 September 2007: She needs to file a complaint to the Clinic/office/hospital he works out immediately. She should also tell the man that she wants no part of that kind of relationship, considering he is married, and has kids. Also, change doctors immediately.... (read in full...)
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