A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Myself and 3 friends went out for dinner saturday night. I don’t drive so when we go out one of them usually picks me up (all 3 of them live quite close by to me) and I always offer to pay towards petrol or buy them a drink so it’s not as if I’m freeloading. Saturday however none of them offered to pick me up and I didn’t ask, I figured they must have their reasons, so I got a taxi instead. I arrived on time but none of them were there, so I sent a text to our group chat and one of them responded saying that the had changed the time to an hour later - obviously I wasn’t told - so I just waited. Then they all arrived together (one friend had driven and picked the other 2 up) - barely acknowledging me when they came in, no apology that they didn’t let me know of the time change. Throughout the meal they seemed to have their own conversations, not really including me. When it was time to go they left me on my own whilst I waited for a taxi. They didn’t even bother to check I got home ok.When we go out one to one it’s fine but in a group I always feel excluded and now pretty annoyed by what recently happened.Do I bother voicing my concerns or just avoid going out with them again? We’ve all been friends for 15 years- I expect better.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2024): Speak to the one you like best and explain how hurt you felt by it. It could be that none of them realised. Tell her left out you felt and ask whether you've done anything to offend any of them. There might be some simple explanation. I hope they'll be more sensitive to your feelings in future.
A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (28 February 2024):
 It seems odd that after 15 years of friendship they are being funny with you and excluding you.
It really does seem a minor thing if its all about the driving thing. As you have said you have offered to pay petrol money and buy drinks.
If no one can be upfront and honest with you about why they are being like this then i would not even bother voicing your concerns, and even avoid going out with them again.
If they are funny with you like this and no one has the decency to tell you why then you have to question how good friends are they.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (27 February 2024):
 I think they don't see you are a friend they want to keep.
I would simply ASK the one you are closest to, what was up and tell her to be honest..
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A
female
reader, pepper  +, writes (26 February 2024):
 Hi sweetheart
If this was me and my mates of 15yrs acted this way I think I'd be having a good think and I would ask myself 'Are you worth more than this?
I believe you are worth more than this, If you have 1 good friend in the group can you maybe speak to them. If you are out in a group of good loyal friends I would have thought looking after each other and checking in is normal friend behavior. I hope this helps a little, I'm rusty just got back on board after many years. Sending love Peps xxxxx
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