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Curiosity killed the cat

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Question - (22 January 2024) 5 Answers - (Newest, 28 January 2024)
A female United States age 22-25, anonymous writes:

Curiosity got the best of me. I am almost certain she isn’t honest but I feel bad because I don’t think she’s comfortable but I asked my friend indirectly if she was gay. It’s several reasons why I want to know and think she is. Anyways when I asked she mentioned dating guys years ago and saying she is definitely into guys completely when I said I would super and accept her either way. Then she found out I had talked to a couple other mutual “friends” about it. So now she is upset with me and ignoring me and doesn’t want to talk or even be friends. I don’t understand why she is so upset but I did try to apologize but at that time she said she just wanted a break from all of it. I feel bad but mostly I miss our friendship. What’s the likelihood she will come back and we can be friends again?!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2024):

So you are gay and you were hoping she is too. Why do you assume that if she is gay too she would want you? It reminds me of this ridiculous idea some guys have about not going out for a drink with a gay man because he will want them, when for all they know they are not his type at all, and he already has someone who is. You have no right to know personal details. If people want you to know they offer the information and don't wait to be asked.

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A female reader, All That Glitters Canada +, writes (27 January 2024):

All That Glitters agony auntYou were talking about her behind her back; so she feels betrayed. Try seeing things from her perspective to understand why she feels the way she does.

I don't think your intentions were bad but they did result in you hurting her.

If possible, send her a text/email/card/voicemail (however you can communicate with her) and ask for her forgiveness. Let her know that your intentions weren't meant to hurt her and that you care for her and miss her.

You really need to understand why she feels the way she does in order to give her a proper/heartfelt apology. Ultimately, it's up to her if she decides to forgive you - maybe time and space will help the process.

I wish you all the best and hope you are able to patch things up.

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A male reader, kenny United Kingdom + , writes (24 January 2024):

kenny agony auntI guess its a personal thing that she did not want discussed with other people and you have now given her a reason not to trust you again.

What’s the likelihood she will come back and we can be friends again?! Well thats kind of impossible to answer really, it could go either way, she might calm down and forgive you, or she might cut you out of her life and never talk to you again.

If its the latter I don't think that you should be at all suprised really.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (23 January 2024):

Honeypie agony auntHow is her sexual preference any of your business?!

And discussing HER sexual preference with other people? What the ACTUAL F!

Shame on you!

"I don’t understand why she is so upset "

REALLY? Are you always this dense?

It is NONE of your business if she is straight, bi or a lesbian!

And you are obviously NOT that good of a friend that she wanted to share with YOU what her sexual preference/orientation is.

Sure, you can be curious, but you are not OWED to know other people's PRIVATE business!

I see that you are young, so maybe your social skills are really underdeveloped so WORK on that!

How rude!

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A female reader, mystiquek United States +, writes (22 January 2024):

mystiquek agony auntShe obviously didn't feel comfortable to discuss the subject and then you talked to others about it and she didn't like that. She doesn't want to be friends because it would appear she doesn't trust you.

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