A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:HelloMy boyfriend and I have been in a relationship about a year. He just admitted because of my work schedule he cheated once with an older woman he met online. He was very casual about it when telling me. I suspected something was up because he claimed to be sleeping alot. Anyways, he knew all about my job and the 12 hour shifts I work, I'm in nursing. Seems like excuses. He claims to love me. Not sure how to feel and not sure what to do with the info he has given me. I'm a bit shocked and I'm uncertain I can continue. Any advice?
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (24 December 2023):
 Well, is cheating a deal breaker or not, to you?
If it is, wish him well and tell him it's over. AKA kick him to the curb.
If you are FINE with being cheated on then continue dating him.
The fact that he is trying to push responsibility of HIS choice to cheat, HIS responsibility onto you, should be a deal breaker, if cheating isn't.
It's YOUR fault he cheated? What a truckload of horse manure!
If you fall for that, well then, it's on you that you also stick of horse shit.
Why are you even asking this question?
It's it OBVIOUS that your BF is not only a cheater, but a loser who doesn't respect YOU at all?!
A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (24 December 2023):
 I find it strange that he was "casual" about admitting something like this. Why has he admitted it now? Usually, cheaters don't admit to cheating unless there is a reason, which is usually that they are going to be found out or that they want to end the relationship but don't have the backbone to call it a day, so they offer the other person a reason to end it for them.
Whatever the reason, he has broken your trust and you will probably never be able to trust him again. Thrown this one back in the pool. You know you deserve better.
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A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (24 December 2023):
 I can't stress enough how important trust is in a relationship. In fact its the biggest contributing factor that make a relationship work. Without trust a relationship is often doomed.
He knew exactly what he was doing, he new full well what job you have, but still he made a conscious decision to sleep with someone else with little or no thought for you at all.
He has broken the trust barrier, so the question is now can you move on from this and trust him?. Can you be 100% sure he won't do this again?.
I feel if you are always going to be suspecting him, wondering what he is doing while you are at work, who he is calling or texting then i would walk away from this relationship.
At the end of the day your health and happiness are whats important, and i feel if you can't trust him, and will always be suspecting his every move then this is no life for anyone and will end up making you ill.
I would advise ending things with him, get yourself back together and work on yourself giving yourself the self love you deserve.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 December 2023): ..My advice is to not continue.
He cheated because of your work schedule ?? Come on, this is the lamest excuse ever for cheating, in fact it is not even an excuse.What, are you punished for holding a job, supporting yourself and not being a drain on *his * finances ? Or , does he mean that he needs a partner who is at his beck and call 24/7 in case he needs sex and companionship ?
I guess basically he means that he 's a guy who when he gets a hitch , he just has to scratch it, and that who has too much time on his hands during which to scratch his hitches. He'll just do it again, next time that he is a bit bored . And then he will blame you . He'll say that he cheated because you did not fix your hair nicely enough, or you weren't supportive enough when his favourite football team lost the match.
Just kick him to the curb.
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