A
male
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes: My problem is simpleMy mother is 41 years old. I found by chance ultrasound picture show that she is 10 weeks pregnant.When i asked her, she confirmed her pregnancy and want me to meet the father. When i met him, i found that he is the young man who working as driver for my mother. He is just 21 years old.It's embarrassing me and i think that the man use my mother and her pregnancy. I thought that she must end her relationship and her pregnancy. When i told her, she shouted on me and judged that i dislike the man.What i must do? Should i force her to have abortion ? Or must force her to terminate her relationship?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2024): Hi
You can not force anybody to get an abortion and although you feel terribly embarrassed, in years to come you'll understand how embarrassment is nothing but false ego. You hopefully will have developed a relationship with a younger sibling brother or sister and be proud to be their big brother who they look up to. Always remember the child is innocent and deserves love just as you deserve love. Mum is mum and at 41 she is still young ( not in your eyes) but in reality she is, her choice. Although he is only 21 again he is old enough and now has a responsibility that no doubt will change his life forever.
You don't have to accept him as your step dad but what a cool world this would be if you and he became friends instead of the forever cycle of hate that goes on between families.
Choices could be yours and some choices make a really nice difference in healing the world. Forget embarrassment, this younger sibling I am sure will really love their big bruv.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2024): You mind your own business. How would you like it if she interfered in your boyfriends, lovers, partners, friends? You would tell her to get lost, same as she did to you. The age gap is big but plenty of couples of same age don't work out.
You seem jealous at best interfering and a know all at worst/
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A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (5 January 2024):
You can't force your Mum to have an abortion, neither can you force her to terminate the relationship, she is a grown adult capable of making her own decisions.
I know its not an ideal situation, and yes I understand that this could be hard for you to deal with. But you have got to try not to get involved and let your Mum get on with it.
You have expressed your concern, now leave it at that, its not your place to get involved with your mums decisions.
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A
female
reader, fishdish +, writes (2 January 2024):
I am assuming, but am not sure, that your mother has all of her mental faculties? Ie she doesn’t have a driver because she has a neurological or physical issue? If she is healthy and capable of making decisions, then you’re gonna have to let this play out. It seems incredibly..short sighted and silly in my opinion, I understand the embarrassment factor of her having a child with someone half one’s age, but she’s an adult and she can make decisions for herself.
If she is NOT capable of making these decisions, I would talk to other family members and possibly a lawyer about the situation.
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