A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I’ve been at my current workplace for almost 18 years. Im 40. I’ve had a couple of promotions (nothing fancy) and I get to work on different projects which varies and to be honest I admit I’m settled and happy and have no desire to find another job.I was recently at a party and got talking to a few people- several people I’ve never met before and we got chatting- they asked about my work etc.. and when I told them how long I’d been at my current employers they were shocked at how long I’d been there telling me I should find something else as it won’t look good on my cv, being at a job for so long as it wouldn’t show ambition or willing to be challenged (if I ever opted to leave the company). They also all found it very odd that I had no desire to be some big executive or run a company - seeing as me and my husband have no children (by choice).Now I (wrongly) thought that being in a job long term shows dedication. Obviously if I was unhappy or ambitious I’d absolutely be looking elsewhere but I'm not. Also having lots of jobs on your cv wouldn’t it look like you are unreliable or get bored easily? I also have several friends who have left perfectly good jobs for more money and higher statuses only for them to regret their decisions at a later date. Since leaving college at 18 and working full time I’ve had 5 jobs- in a few different sectors, so I do have several skills and a variety of experience. I was just made to feel like I’ve wasted my time and should be doing more with my life.Do I need to be more ambitious in life? Do people see me as boring?
View related questions:
ambition, money, no desire, workplace Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2023): You should not care what people think. You are a complete whole person when the thoughts and opinions of virtual strangers do not matter to you and you are happy with your life. That may mean you live in a tiny apartment on a shoe string but you love your job. Or it might mean you want to be the owner of a big business with lots of staff - neither is right or wrong so long as they suit you. Don't mix with ambitious people or hard workers who work long hours if you are not their sort. Oil and water do not mix.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2023): I fundamentally feel that you should be allowed to stay in your job for as long as you like and I totally understand how you feel about showing dedication and loyalty.
The main issue, though, is that depending on your employer / boss / change of boss in the future, the majority of companies do NOT like to see their employees get 'comfortable' in their job because companies usually always want to overburden employees to ensure they are getting their money's worth (and more) out of them. It's very unusual for a company to let any employee simply do a good job, settle into their role, and let that run and run.
Companies often use 'restructuring' as a way to absorb jobs into other people's jobs or even make your role part-time with less pay (by calling it a different name under the restructuring) if they think an employee is getting too cosy. Familiarity with a role, and doing a good job, can be indicators to them that they could be getting more work out of you.
This is why people may stay with the same company, but still make a point of keeping on extremely good terms with all of their managers and ensuring they are first to know of any potential changes. It's also why employees who like their role come up with initiatives and schemes that contribute something to the company to add to its value - running an extra initiative that benefits staff and makes the company look good is a good way of showing ambition and goes some way to ensuring job security. It will also look brilliant on your CV in case you do somehow lose your job.
Another important issue is training and diversifying your skill set. It's absolutely. vital that, after this long in one job, you show that you have developed your role and that you have continually added to your training and skills. NO employer wants someone whose CV reads as if they've had a cosy time and stayed put because of that. You can show ambition in multiple ways and still stay in the same company. Asking your employer if you could mentor someone is another idea. Partnering with a charity is another idea. There are numbers of ways to show ambition. All of these things have to be for the benefit of the company and also be careful to get the balance right - take on something too big, and it could be used as evidence against you that your job is easy and lightweight, leaving you with time for other things. Always make sure you humbly but confidently take full credit for any initiatives you show and don't let other's steal your credit - one horrible boss I had took all credit for a fantastic initiative I came up with alone, and he won a company prize without acknowledging it was my idea and I'd put tons of work into it.
I am not saying this to suggest you are actually having a comfortable time of things, just making you aware that employers don't usually. ever like to see their employees get cosy.
...............................
A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (2 December 2023):
 People who define others' worth in terms of what job they do make me cringe. What happened to discussions like "what gets you out of bed in the morning at the weekend?" and "what excites you about life?" Instead everyone asks about your job and then proceeds to make you feel bad for being happy in the job you do, like there is some job goal you should all be aiming for. Some people live to work while others work to live. Don't fall into the trap of being the first type.
Do YOU. Take no notice of these people who only see your worth in terms of your status and what money you earn. Centre your efforts on your passions and live your life the way that make you happy.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (30 November 2023):
 "Do I need to be more ambitious in life? Do people see me as boring?"
Not unless YOU want to and who cares?!
I think working for the same company for years, decades show dedication and trust in the product and company. What is wrong with that?
Also, if you DO NOT want to chase some or other glass ceiling to break, there is no need for more jobs on a resume. And IF you decided to change job (at some point) it shows the potential new employers that you are hardworking and good at what you do, otherwise, you wouldn't have been kept around for that long.
I think these new people are full of bullshit. I think, quite frankly they are jealous that you find peace and enjoyment in living a good life.
"I was just made to feel like I’ve wasted my time and should be doing more with my life."
FUCK EM! You have to live YOUR life as YOU see fit, not as they think you should do things.
Let me ask you this:
Are you happy with your job?
Are you happy with your life?
And if these same people said, OH you have been married to the same man for 20 years?! Are you crazy? You should divorce him and screw any man with a pulse or else you are boring!
Would you listen to that crap advice either?
Come on, you are a GROWN woman who can DO whatever makes sense to you and your spouse. Screw all these "new people" - if they want to change jobs like they change their underwear - let them! Bully for them! Doesn't make them more interesting or you more boring for NOT doing that.
Live your life. Enjoy yourself. If you wish you had more excitement, then talk to your husband and figure out something fun to do. Travel, a hobby, hiking, scuba-diving or whatever tickles YOUR interest.
...............................
A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (29 November 2023):
 First of all it does not matter what they think, if they see you as boring then so be it.
By your own admission you say that you are happy and settled and have no desire to find another job. You are happy there so why would you leave.
I actually think the opposite of what they think, i think that being in the same job shows dedication. As you say if you was not happy then of course you would look for another job.
Sometimes we can cut our nose off to spite our face, you could very well leave there find another job, then find its not working out and find yourself in a precarious situation, and end up wishing you stayed where you was.
Don't listen to what they say, they probably made mistakes and go from job to job and are unhappy and are rather jealous of you.
I have been in the same job for 20 years, i am happy there, good opportunity, mixture of remote working and going on site, and a good pension, so i will probably end up retiring there when the time comes. If anyone said ishould leave because i was unambitious i think i would just take it with a pinch of salt and laugh it off to be honest.
...............................
|
