A
female
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes:They are supposedly 'just friends' but I have possibly noticed a few things but will focus on asking about one. Whenever I am at work and dressed really nice, looking pretty or what some would consider 'sexy' she goes out of her office to talk and see him standing nearby and will often call for him. It seems she is after his attention and possibly jealous when she does this. Does it seem she is jealous and if they are just friends why would she be jealous? She is several months pregnant and married I have seen her look a certain way at him a couple of times. People unfortunately have extra marital affairs. Once I noticed was almost as if she looked him up and down checking him out, looking up and down his body. The other she locked eyes with him. I do know they are friends, but sometimes I wonder if it is more than that. I ask because of course I am interested in him.
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affair, at work, jealous Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2023): If they were more than that she would not need to look him up and down to work out if he is attractive, she would already know all that. You talk like a naive child. No man would want to date you as you are now. He might want to take you to bed just to get sex, but he would never take you seriously. You go to work to work, to earn money, not to work out the other people or get dates.
A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (15 December 2023):
 Nobody notices more "inappropriate" behaviour than someone who fancies someone. Women who have the hots for someone notice EVERYTHING around that person - just as you are doing. However, whether they interpret what they see correctly is often questionable as it is so often tainted with jealousy.
If your profile is correct, you are still a child, a mere teenager. You don't say how old this colleague is on whom you have a crush, but I am willing to bet he is quite a bit older than you. It is possible your female colleague is trying to protect him from your (possibly unwelcome) attention as she too will notice you trying to catch his eye. If they are friends, they probably even discuss you and I am willing to bet it's not in a flattering way.
If you are wearing "sexy" clothes to work, unless you work somewhere where showing off your flesh gets you custom (you know the sort of places I am talking about), it is really inappropriate to dress in that way. It is likely to get you the wrong kind of attention. I've worked in offices where girls/women who have dressed what was considered inappropriately have been the butt of the rest of their colleagues' jokes as they have always come across as desperate for male attention.
As well as all the above, it is never a good idea to date someone at work. Some places still have rules in place about colleagues getting involved romantically. Even if not, it is seldom looked on favourably by senior management. They will assume you have nothing better to do with your work time than flirt with other staff, which is not what they are paying you for.
As someone with many years' experience in various work environments, my advice to you would be to dress appropriately for the environment in which you work, keep your head down, work hard and concentrate on dating in your own time.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (14 December 2023):
 I can tell you from both experience and from other friends who have been in this kind of friendships that it's not unheard off that a male and female coworker are full of banter and fun. It makes the work day go faster.
If they were really getting into something NSFW they would definitely avoid letting coworkers in on it.
Why you would dress "sexy" for work I don't understand, be professional, dress professional, unless you work at a strip club.
Sounds like you are a little "jelly" of her being able to get his attention when you can't.
Might be that he is just looking for banter and you are too young.
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A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (13 December 2023):
 Firstly i am going to say its never a good idea to date co-workers as things can get very messy when/if things never worked out.
I think you are thinking to much about this situation between him and this other colleague. For starters she is married and has a baby on the way, so with all due respect i don't think he would contemplate going there.
I assume he is single, you are single, i think he would be more inclined to be with you than her.
Just keep doing what you are doing, and if anything is going to materialise between the pair of you let it happen naturally over the course of time.
But as i said, just be careful with co-worker dating, if things developed then one of you may have to consider leaving.
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