A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have recently left my partner, who I didn’t want to leave but the relationship was toxic. He blamed me for everything that was wrong, said I didn’t communicate with him. I did, but he didn’t want to listen or compromise on anything. We were constantly arguing and he was always right and I was always wrong. I’ve had to move, leave my home that we had together and relocate over 6 hrs away from work. I travel with work and the commute is hard but I moved closer to my family for support. They have being amazing but I’m just so lonely. It’s crippling me and I miss my partner. Why, I don’t know, as I said, we were becoming worse together. My friends where I live now are all in relationships. I don’t see them much. When I’m not at work I spend a lot of time on my own which gives me time to think. I don’t have siblings, just my parents and other family but they have their own lives and work. I just feel so lonely and sometimes regret my decision. I try to keep busy but I just do things on my own. Any advice or help from someone who has experienced been on their own.
View related questions:
at work Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (25 September 2023):
 You should not regret your decision because you 100% did the right thing.
the relationship was toxic and coming with that a myriad of red flags, you were right to do what you did.
You just need to give yourself time, the feelings you are having are normal. I am a great believer that time is the healer of all things.
Give it time, work on yourself and learn to love yourself again. Get some hobbies, do things that you enjoy and that make your heart sing and make you smile.
Be strong, you will get over this quicker than you think.
When you are over this and happy again in your own skin and loving life i guarantee you will meet someone new who treats you with the love and respect that you so rightly deserve, and probably when you least expect it.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2023): I could have written your post as going through the same thing I have days where I feel so lonely Its like I want to get out of my head. What I'm learning is cliche as it is time is going to make you feel better and when you meet the right man who treats you right you will understand why this is the right thing to do. I get days when I want to pick up the phone and say I miss you I want to come back but I did that for 25 years and the blame and abuse got so bad he would spit in my face call me names through things at me , and my mental health and physical health was going worse I wasn't happy I felt so low from the abuse. We are just trying to rebuild ourselves and our life's and that takes time and strength to do it. Please stay strong I am thinking of you
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (24 September 2023):
 Consider your ex a "bad habit". While I get that you were with him and cared for him, HE didn't return those feelings at all.
What you miss are the GOOD times you had (I'm guessing you also HAD some good times).
Next time you feel like you miss him, think of the LAST time you two were arguing and HOW that made you feel. Hopefully, you will understand that leaving WAS the right thing to do.
Is it possible to get a transfer with your job? Or find a similar job near your family?
The last thing you need is to be isolated from loved ones. So don't ONLY do things by yourself. See if a family member wants to hang out, like, Go for a nice walk with a family member or friend.
Find some things that you LOVE to do, read a book, knit, paint, cosplay, sports, whatever! and find some JOY in life.
You feel lonely because you are now "alone" - being single isn't the worst thing. It would have been WORSE had you stayed, you know this. But sometimes people rather be with a bad partner than be alone or they think that is what they want.
Focus on you. On who you WANT to be. What kind of partner do you REALLY want? Not someone like your ex, correct?
Take your time to heal from this relationship. Look back and consider what red flags you ignored when you first met. And take the relationship as a lesson in what NOT to do and what kind of guy NOT to pick NEXT time.
Give yourself some time. Journal your feelings, and your "lessons" and become the partner YOU want to be.
Stay away from dating for a little while, at least while you get over this ex and find your equilibrium.
Chin up.
Leaving was the right thing.
...............................
|
