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... Send *anniepeg a private message | | | *anniepeg's profile:I am 34, married a second time. My son is 9 years old and 2 cats. He keeps me busy. My hobbies are movies, recreational games like xbox games, darts, badminton and dear cupid of course. I used to play the piano but stopped. I have been here for 6 years. Every year I see myself change. Every day is a surprise, an opportunity for growth while some days are just coasting along wondering what the point is. My relationship views are a mix of traditional values and modern, open minded ones. I still believe in long term monogamy as it feels right to me. Other than that I feel there are too many rules in a relationship that I would like to get rid of. Dearcupid is a source of my learning about relationships. I am too young to form a conclusion of what love is. I guess I will grow old with this site.
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How can I contain my bad attitude?
Q. Me and My boyfriend have been together for almost a year i have a bad Attitude problem because when i lived with my parents thats how people would commucate to one another when they are up set they will yell my boyfriend wants me to change the ...
A. 11 December 2010: I think your question is also your answer. You can unlearn what you had learned when you grew up. Without expressing or suppressing your anger, the third thing to do is just to observe your feelings, and let your thoughts melt away. You are your own ... (read in full...)
She claims she loves me yet, she cancels our dates?
Q. I have a question that I need someone else's opinion on: I met a woman online and we been on several dates. She tells me that she loves me and wants to be with me (I figured a little early but what the hell) She lives with her grandmother who d...
A. 11 December 2010: Are you sure she has a boyfriend or are you guessing?
It sounds like her parents are out of the picture so she has to fill in and do everything for her family. You might be the only comfort, the only fun aspect in her life. Her busyness does not ... (read in full...)
He says he doesn't have herpes, but I want to see some proof!
Q. he admitted that he slept with a woman who had herpes in the past. that was before he met me. we have not had sex yet. he doesn't want to get tested i am not going to have sex with him. it's a pity because otherwise he is a good man. he says he ...
A. 11 December 2010: He can be symptomless but still carry the disease. The only way to find out is to swab an open sore to see culture, or do a blood test to see if there's antibodies to the virus. There is a strong stigma to it, that only promiscuous people have it. ... (read in full...)
How do you handle when your partner, who promises you the world and to never leave, breaks their promise?
Q. How do you handle when your boyfriend/girlfriend who promises you the world and to never leave, breaks their promise? Its hard for me to accept that someone who loves you would walk out on you like that. How do you cope? Moving on or staying and ...
A. 11 December 2010: Guys do have a bad habit of vanishing out of the blue, so if you are the more expressive one then do a relationship check-in once in a while, see where you stand, correct misunderstandings. Guys are in a perpetual state of non readiness in ... (read in full...)
Why is my boyfriend behaving like this?? Am I overreacting?
Q. Why is my boyfriend behaving like this?? Am I overreacting? whenever i see something nice my boyfriend would like i buy him it when i have the money and also cos i know he would like it. my birthday is next week and i don't want him to spend ...
A. 11 December 2010: I understand you being angry because it's common sense to reciprocate to show you care. There are better ways to handle intense emotions. He does sound stingy but has he shown you other ways of giving, like treating you to dinner or movie? I guess ... (read in full...)
How can I tell my children I'm gay?
Q. How can I tell my children I'm gay? I have 3 children, teenage girls, and their mother died a couple of years ago. I think it's the right time to be true to myself (for the first time in 50+ years) and look for a relationship with another man. ...
A. 2 December 2010: You should tell them. They would love you the same but they would probably be angry that you hid this for so long, as if you didn't trust their love for you. You will always be their father. As for telling them about finding a guy, listen to their ... (read in full...)
How do I convince her to give me another go?
Q. So I have had a few posts on here about my ex girlfriend. I ignored her for a week, and she started to text me more and more when I had dissapeared from her life. I answered one text last night and we had a short conversation and it went w...
A. 1 December 2010: Talk to other girls, not overtly flirt with them. You have to let her know that you got options so that might trigger her competitive nature to get you back. If she seems selfish to you, be selfish yourself. Let her know that if she's not giving you ... (read in full...)
We've been seeing each other for 2 months now but he said we were only hanging out?
Q. Im 18 years old, and im seeing this guy thats 20. We're not official yet, we're just getting to know each other, etc. We've been seeing each other for a little over two months now, but have only had 4 dates in those two months as he tends to be b...
A. 1 December 2010: It's past that time deciding where it's going. You are not getting your needs met. If he doesn't care how you feel, return the gesture and start getting busy and meet more people.... (read in full...)
Women and our loss of sex drive!
Q. I got a question for ya'll. I have been told is very common in women. Why do we lose our sex drive, or have none at all? I am a 35 year old all american woman. I got 2 kids, a husband and 2 step-daughters. I have been with my husband for 8 years or ...
A. 1 December 2010: Being sensitive is good. Better to feel more than feeling nothing. You need variety. I think it's the time to discuss a more alternative lifestyle than you are having. Just be honest, lay it out on the table, and be sensitive to each other's ... (read in full...)
Everyone rejects the idea of us being together!
Q. im 21 I love the most beautiful girl on the earth ...shes 20, shes my everything, i cant live without her, and everytime i see her , we cant talk nor look at each other or even say hi or hug, nothing, and it kills me to death, as if im being ...
A. 1 December 2010: She surely can't be that important if you can't ignore your family and friends' concerns. What's really the big deal? I see a lot of black and white couples everywhere. I see increasing number of blasian kids too. Build your own community who can ... (read in full...)
I just want to know if there's anything that I can do or say that will get him at least making an EFFORT
Q. Hey, I just need a second opinion to make sure I'm not going mad. This is a question about my boyfriend and and my family. I have been going out with my boyfriend for almost two years. During which time my boyfriend has met my family about fiv...
A. 1 December 2010: He has to open up about what issues he's having. Your strength of your relationship is based on how well you can communicate. If his approach to problems is shutting down and hiding then what good is he if one day you need emotional support? How is ... (read in full...)
I'm entitled to explore my sexuality but I don't want my boyfriend to join in!
Q. I have a boyfriend who I love, but.... I've always wanted to try being with a girl. It's something I want to do on my own, so would it be terrible of me to do this and tell him afterwards? I came close to doing it last year when I first entered ...
A. 30 November 2010: You have to tell him first, that you are just exploring and it has nothing to do with not loving him enough. Be prepared for a discussion on your sexuality, whether you are born that way, how often you would want to do this thing, would you ever ... (read in full...)
Why is it so bad someone my age has sex?
Q. Hi, I was thinking today, why is it so bad someone my age has sex? I assure you I haven't but I was talking to my mom and she said as long as you are responsible(using multiple forms of birth control) and had sex with someone you trusted and knew ...
A. 30 November 2010: It's good that you are educated about sex, and the protection. Many people know about condoms and pills but still don't use them in the heat of the moment. A lot of guys don't like condoms. Some desperate guys would rather risk an STD than go ... (read in full...)
My curfew is causing problems!
Q. What is going on? Should I break up with him? We have been dating for nearly 5 months. I don't want to say that our relationship is perfect but we hadn't been through any dramas or fights. He is a year older than me, much more mature but has a...
A. 30 November 2010: His statement didn't mean if I knew that about you, I wouldn't have dated you. It's more like, it would have spared my frustration if I had known you have to follow a strict curfew, and not because you don't want to make the effort to see me.
I know... (read in full...)
We broke up then got back together, will things ever be the same again?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been dating or about 5 months. We see each other and I stay over his apartment on the weekends but for the past couple of weeks, we haven't been going out to actually do things and get to know each other like we use to when ...
A. 30 November 2010: I was at the receiving end of this in August. Still now I wasn't sure what the breakup reason was because my boyfriend's thinking was all over the place. I assumed it was a bunch of factors that triggered his fear of committment to me, and he wasn't ... (read in full...)
She told me graphic details about her past that I can't get out of my head!
Q. Hi, I'm 23, and I have been seeing my girlfriend since I was one month shy of 22. She was my first, and before her I was a virgin. However, she has had a few ex-boyfriends. Anyway, I was talking to my girlfriend as she was sorting out photos on the ...
A. 29 November 2010: It's not so upsetting that she has a past than she was doing stuff to other guys but not you, and you wonder if she's really attracted to you. If she can't do it in the car, would she do it somewhere else, or do something like wear sexy lingerie to ... (read in full...)
My ex has issues, but when it was good it was great; my b/f is devoted but dull
Q. I recently got out of a relationship about 2 months ago with my ex. He went to jail and we just couldnt do it anymore. He was an alcoholic, verbally abusive, and an addict; we had a lot of problems with our relationship, starting with all the ...
A. 29 November 2010: A person doesn't have to break the law to be considered exciting. A nice person doesn't necessarily make him boring or less intelligent. A relationship becomes dead once you label a person this or that. You can still do a lot of fun things with your ... (read in full...)
He wants an open relationship and I can't handle it! how do I let go?
Q. Need help letting go...Been w boyfriend for 9 years. We see each other once a month for 5 days (LDR) he moved 8 months ago for job. I have put alot of effort into this relationship from the start. Did not move down w him because of my job and he w...
A. 29 November 2010: I was just discussing open relationship with my boyfriend today. The rules are the following:
You should both feel secure in a committed relationship, if not living together, married. You should feel a special bond that no one else could repl... (read in full...)
Can anyone share relationships that have gone right?
Q. So I enjoy answering questions here on dearcupid when I have spare time. The thing is they are mostly about relationships gone wrong/problems/etc. I was wondering if people would post about relationships they are in or have been in where things ...
A. 29 November 2010: For me, problems come from communication misunderstandings. Never discuss relationship issues on the phone before you sleep. The conversation could go on forever. You lose sleep and your next day gets messed up. Eye contact and facial expression put ... (read in full...)
Why do cheaters feel entitled to lie, sneak and hurt others?
Q. Hi all, when I read through questions and answers I read about people cheating on others (my ex did it to me) It literally tore me apart. But my question is; If you are a cheater, Why do you do this? Why can't you get out of a relationship honestly ...
A. 28 November 2010: Most men and some women want to have sex with different people but if they say this at the beginning of the relationship, they would get no further dates, and if they say this before they get married, then the wedding would be cancelled. Some try to ... (read in full...)
Heart in one place, soul in another, Help!!
Q. last weekend, for our 3 year anniversary, my partner brought her best friend over and we had a threesome. as my partner is not all that excitable, she went to sleep afterwards, and her friend and i continued to have oral and then had intercourse a ...
A. 27 November 2010: There is not much info on why this relationship got a little boring. The definition of a soul mate is one who wouldn't stray even when the relationship got a little boring. You have to talk more with your girlfriend. I don't know who would fall ... (read in full...)
I jokingly asked a girl to be my g/f, she accepted and I already have a girlfriend!
Q. Well uhm, I am having a bit of a problem, and I dont know how to fix this, so Im hoping I can find people who can help me with this problem. I have a girlfriend, and I have been with her for a year, we have had our fun and everything.. but...
A. 27 November 2010: I have always known that Phillipinos are humorous, good jokers. How do you know that the father and daughter weren't playing with you?... (read in full...)
I want to stop being rude!!!!!!!!!!!!
Q. ok, so here is the deal im gettin married in less than 30 days. lets call her miss bee, well miss bee and i have been together going on 10 years. i love her deeply, we have two sons and have been together since high school. ok so my ? i have been ...
A. 27 November 2010: I don't know what's going on in your mind. It could be: she's stopping you from exploring and you couldn't find a good reason to leave this relationship. You are young and you missed out on your partying days. You feel guilty of trying to get more ... (read in full...)
I slept with my dad's best friend!
Q. okay so my dads best friend is 8 years younger than my dad so he is 30. any ways he lives with us in our house with me and my dad . my dad is divorced because my mum is a alcoholic. anyways i came back from school on wednesday and i had stayed b...
A. 26 November 2010: Your dad is going to kill him. If you are old enough to have sex you are also old enough to tell this lodger to stop this thing, and move out. Make sure you are not pregnant first. Your relationship with your dad, his trust and respect for you is ... (read in full...)
Our kiss led to this?
Q. My best friend and i ended up kissing a few months ago...It was his b'day and he'd been teasing me for just one kiss so we went ahead and snogged away to glory. May i add that this kiss was totally amazing? The moment his lips touched mine...i...
A. 26 November 2010: The kiss was amazing only because it was a rare moment. You don't know if that could ever happen again, so every time you see him you will make the best out of it. It is like a life time's pleasure condensed into a simple moment.
Words are chea... (read in full...)
I think b/f is looking for the perfect relationship and its not with me?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 18 months and we live 40 miles from each other. We go to each other's places at week-ends and I am getting fed up of the travelling and strain that it puts on us. I think we would get on better if we lived ...
A. 25 November 2010: The perfect woman he's looking for is someone who agrees with him 100%, is forever patient, and wouldn't mind travelling to him every weekend indefinately. Assuming he's as old as you, he has not married or lived with anybody before? What does that ... (read in full...)
I thought we were great together and all of a sudden he's not responding
Q. So I met a guy 2 weeks ago, who I hit it off with really well. We met at a bar near my school and hung out the whole night. He had said he was surprised that I even spoke to him, and that he normally never went up to girls as he found most girls at ...
A. 25 November 2010: He sounds like a wimp. One night stands are not everybody's cup of tea but for him to actually say that out loud makes him unconfident as a man. It's like a coverup for his insecurity in the bedroom department. He's one who would complain a good ... (read in full...)
Things were looking up and now she's back!
Q. My boyfriend used to fancy another woman, and she even went to his flat a few times, although he said that nothing happened between them. He told her once that he thought she was " out of his league " and said he wished he was confident enough to ...
A. 24 November 2010: He told you too much details. He is honest to a fault. Things are better left unsaid. He's making you feel you are not special, sexy enough and he has to make up for that, like a $30 dinner or something, for saying something stupid. He has to give ... (read in full...)
Should I go to the party and risk upsetting my boyfriend?
Q. To cut a long story short, my boyfriend cheated on me so we split up and i slept with one of our guy mates. We sorted things out and got back together but promised we wouldnt go to town at night without each other. Its my best friends 21st and i ...
A. 24 November 2010: You should go. You made the rules too quickly. He's the one who broke your trust first, if I were the one making the rules he automatically lost the privilege to make decisions. Even though your cheating was out of revenge, for him that doesn't make ... (read in full...)
What is she trying to tell me?
Q. I'm asking this question because I don't know what to do. I broke up with my girlfriend about 2 weeks ago now, and it was horrible, we had argued for like 2 weeks before hand and had been together for just over 4 months, short, I know. However,...
A. 24 November 2010: You have to surrender to the unknown. She wants her answer to be a sincere yes, from her own heart, and not be influenced by your wishes. She's telling you what she had told you, that she needs time to miss you. You did what the internet told you to ... (read in full...)
I think my friends with benefits is falling for me
Q. ok i have been having a casual relationship for a while...i was burnt by some boy friends and am just having fun...from the very first we made it clear to each other that we were going to be just sex partners..anyways lately hes been looking at me ...
A. 24 November 2010: So why is it that when girls go into a serious relationship and get hurt, when they look for "fun" they get boys who fall in love with them?
It's like you are saying to people, "I love you, love me back." That doesn't work well.
It's when you tell... (read in full...)
Should I tell him I love him or wait for him to say it first?
Q. ok so i have been seeing this guy for a few months and i know for me it was love at first sight. i just felt connected to him somehow. anyways we moved in together already and things are great. only thing is that i am having a hard time not telling ...
A. 24 November 2010: Don't say it and don't wait for him to say it. Rip these three words out of your consciousness. To make him stay with you, and continue being a good guy, it's better to not care where the future is headed because then he would feel free to love you, ... (read in full...)
First boy that I've ever loved, but I think I'm gay
Q. Hi, My problem is this. My boyfriend lives in England whereas I live in Ireland. I met him when I was there on holiday and he's the first boy I've ever loved. I love him deeply and we have plans to see each other soon. The only thing is. I alwa...
A. 24 November 2010: Whatever you choose to do with your life is your decision. Your family not accepting you for being gay is also their decision. There's a big chance that someone else in the family is also gay. Your family can deny that they passed down that gene to ... (read in full...)
Unrequited love, and I need to end contact with her
Q. Alright well I am now pretty sure that I want to end all contact with the girl I am in love with. I have very strong feelings towards her I love listening to her being around her and thinking about her but unfortunately for me she doesn't feel the ...
A. 24 November 2010: You used to spend a lot of time thinking about her and pleasing her and now doing nothing is an effort. Think about the unburdening of thinking little details, how freeing that is. Remember the time when you didn't even know her at all, when you ... (read in full...)
Is love enough? Should I leave, should I ask him to leave?
Q. Is love enough? Should I leave? I have been dating someone for 20 months, but I think I am at the point where I am ready to give up. During this time we have argued at least once a month about the same things (i.e. cleaning, finances, moving...
A. 24 November 2010: No, I don't think so. Love is not enough to keep a relationship strong, it's not enough to change anybody. You are reluctant to start over again because you invested so much already. I think you feel safe with him knowing that he's dependent on you ... (read in full...)
How do I tell Him I still like/love him? A poem? Text?
Q. So I have liked this guy and I have known him since I was in 2nd grade. His parents are close to my entire family so we see each other on weekends.Every since I can remember I have always liked him on and off for 7 years. He is a very sweet and a ...
A. 22 November 2010: It has already been 6 months. If you suddenly text him again he would wonder what makes it different this time that it would work. I don't think you love him. You kept your dreams alive even though you didn't know what to do with him. This brief ... (read in full...)
She left without a real reason
Q. Ok...So I met this wonderful lady with 3 kids 4 years ago and started dating. I got scared because I really liked her and then all of a sudden she disappeared. 4 years later, we meet up again and I find out that she has watched me from a far ...
A. 20 November 2010: How much time did you actually spend with her those 6 months? You don't seem to understand what kind of life she is living. When you say gone does that mean out of the city? If she had to go to another city for the weekend that means her ex or some ... (read in full...)
Should I stay with my girlfriend who has love addiction?
Q. I have a dilemma: I think my girlfriend has love addiction. I have been dating this woman for over a year now. She is 44 and I am 47. I have discovered that she has been in lots and lots of relationships before we met, some lasting a few days to ...
A. 20 November 2010: What you described is not love addiction. Love addiction is more like buying flowers/chocolate, writing love poems, reading romantic novels, calling 40 times a day, etc. She is more passive aggressive, manipulative and "user" friendly. The reason ... (read in full...)
How can I tell my future husband about the past sexual abuse?
Q. I was sexually abused over a period of four years, I was eight years old when this took place. I lost my Mother at the age of twelve. After my Mother's death my Father used to suggest that I invite a group of girlfriends over for the weekend,...
A. 20 November 2010: I would discourage you from telling. Your husband is not going to be more loving knowing this. Most men find it hard to deal with this. All he could say to you is "I am never going to hurt you or do something that makes you uncomfortable." What more ... (read in full...)
I am very tempted to have lots of sex and see what is out there for me. Should I?
Q. I am very tempted to have lots of sex and see what is out there for me. I am in a long distance relationship with an older man who has done it all and been there but I have no experience and I feel like I am missing out on plenty of things. I need ...
A. 20 November 2010: You both have to agree on your status of your committment. Are you exclusive to each other? Is casual sex okay with other people as long as you still call him boyfriend? You said he has done it all so you may be surprised to hear that he actually ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend and I are not connected sexually I need serious help!
Q. I fear that my boyfriend and I are not connected sexually, ie, there is no intimacy between us. We have sex the same position every time, and i rarely have an orgasm. Also, he does not give me oral sex and does not kiss me. I perform oral sex on ...
A. 20 November 2010: If there is no sexual connection, there is no boyfriend and girlfriend. This is one of the reasons why I don't wait to have sex. From the sounds of it, it's not like you started off great and then had some glitches. Either he's lazy or he has no ... (read in full...)
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