A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have a boyfriend who I love, but.... I've always wanted to try being with a girl. It's something I want to do on my own, so would it be terrible of me to do this and tell him afterwards? I came close to doing it last year when I first entered college but was too nervous. It's all I can think about lately and I want to experience this as a woman on woman experience with nooo men involved. I feel like I'm entitled to explore my own sexuality and I'd tell him but I know he would want to get into the action too. What should I do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (30 November 2010):
 You have to tell him first, that you are just exploring and it has nothing to do with not loving him enough. Be prepared for a discussion on your sexuality, whether you are born that way, how often you would want to do this thing, would you ever stop, boundaries, etc. He either has to accept you being bi curious or he has to move on. Or you have to let him explore his options too, if that means him being with other girls. It may not be his natural inclination to do this but he might, just to play an equal field, to feel less jealous or to make you jealous.
A
male
reader, happy140 +, writes (30 November 2010):
 That is a tuff call. As a man yes I would want to join in but as from a woman’s perspective I understand the need to be with just her alone. No matter what you chose its CHEATING, period, no other way to look at it EXCEPT, talk to him and tell him it needs to be just you and her but you will tell him about it, you need to just find out if that’s a sexual liking. I as a man would say OK, you have my permission to do it whenever but tell me about it, that takes the cheating out of it. Now it is an open one-sided relationship.
You may find that you want a man when you are with her or find out you do not. Reassure him no matter what happens you are not converting to the other side, as he will be concerned you are going to like her more than him. Hell she knows your body better than any man can or will. I think you should try it but if you do not talk to him you will have guilt, and if you decide to return to her it will be worse for you and your guilt.
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A
female
reader, youngandrestless +, writes (30 November 2010):
 hon you need to be honest with him. this is obviously affecting your daily life and probably your relationship with your man. you need to explain to him how you feel. i think he has the right to want to join but he may respect the fact you want to be alone your first time. if he doesnt you either have to compromise wich i dont think is unreasonable or decide if your relationship is more important than experimenting.
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