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... Send *anniepeg a private message | | *anniepeg's profile:I am 34, married a second time. My son is 9 years old and 2 cats. He keeps me busy. My hobbies are movies, recreational games like xbox games, darts, badminton and dear cupid of course. I used to play the piano but stopped. I have been here for 6 years. Every year I see myself change. Every day is a surprise, an opportunity for growth while some days are just coasting along wondering what the point is. My relationship views are a mix of traditional values and modern, open minded ones. I still believe in long term monogamy as it feels right to me. Other than that I feel there are too many rules in a relationship that I would like to get rid of. Dearcupid is a source of my learning about relationships. I am too young to form a conclusion of what love is. I guess I will grow old with this site.
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Whats up with this mysterious guy?
Q. It is Friday night and I am sitting home with tears. I had two offers for dates tonight, (both with advanced degrees) I am in love with someone who I can not have. Well, I should say he is shy. His body language says one thing and he does something ...
A. 6 November 2010: Maybe if you knew him you wouldn't be in love anymore. I assume the last time you saw him was more than 2 weeks ago. Don't give too much credit for psychologists. They are well read. They know how to talk to their patients but when it comes to ... (read in full...)
Dad thinks he's a lackluster boyfriend because he dosen't put me on a pedestal. Is he?
Q. Hello all. I've been with my guy almost 2 years, and things have been pretty smooth. No arguments, though some disagreements. He's my 1st guy, I'm his 4th girl. "Jack" is a nice guy to everyone he meets. Guys or girls, he would give them the sh...
A. 6 November 2010: He needs to strike a happy medium. Bringing you out to dinner on your birthday is the minimum any boyfriend should do. It is a typical thing for a guy to forget birthdays. Hallmark and bluemountain were created for women. Guys will be happy when ... (read in full...)
I want my girl back!! I'm shattered
Q. Hello, I am 22 years old and was in a relationship with my girlfriend for about 2 years roughly. we both loved each other like crazy. I would literally spend at least 12-13 hours of the day with her. We are both university students and go...
A. 5 November 2010: I think she likes your friend. True love is not the intense feelings you have. It's a promise of being with each other through think and thin. I don't know what she has done to qualify to be the best girlfriend you could ask for because she doesn't ... (read in full...)
It hurts when he says he just wants to be with his ex
Q. Dear Cupid, I am a widow and have started a new relationship with this gentalmen that persued me for about a month before I finally gave in. He acts like he really really cares about me. He is generous ,kind, attentive, calls almost everynig...
A. 5 November 2010: That's really messed up. I don't know who wants to go back after a divorce has been finalized. Maybe it was a default divorce and they had been separated for one year although the husband didn't want it. He wants to know if he has new chances in ... (read in full...)
We never have time together anymore.
Q. Hello i have been with my bf for close to a year. We are both nearly 22. Recently i have been feeling some pressure on the relationship as he never seems to have any time for me. We both work full time and then when it comes to weekends, if his...
A. 4 November 2010: The predicted response of your questions would be, "What do you mean? I was just with you last week."
You are probably wondering where this relationship is going. I have a lot of experience with this. Let's just assume he loves you but is just diso... (read in full...)
I keep thinking about him but I HAVE a boyfriend!!!
Q. hi i have a boyfriend i love him but i dont think am in love. He was my first boyfriend, dated since we were 18 am 21 now and live together. He is very protective over me and a bit older, 29 doesnt let me out on my own etc. The thing is I am fa...
A. 3 November 2010: When you are infatuated with someone, your reasoning ability goes down while your imagination goes wild. The object of your desire has the ability to lead you to idealize him while find faults with the one you have.
When I was single, no one noti... (read in full...)
Is he missing something in his marriage or just bored?
Q. Why would a married man seek attention outside of his home. He has beautiful children, gorgeous wife and great career. However i believe he is trying to pursue a relationship with me by calling me and texting men all of the time. He does not live ...
A. 3 November 2010: Before marriage: flowers, movies, romantic dinner, laughter
After marriage and kids: diapers, soccer practice, noisy children, sleep deprivation, obligation sex, household chores, nagging wife, etc
He has to learn to appreciate what he has rather t... (read in full...)
Hold on? Or let go of this relationship?
Q. Can anyone tell me if I am overreacting or not? I chat online with my bf on a daily basis, once he just left the chat without telling me and it made me upset. But he said sorry and promised he will never do it again. But today he did it for the s...
A. 2 November 2010: He has problems expressing his needs and wants. Even saying goodbye, I have to go is difficult for him. In day care the younger kids who hit other kids are the ones who can't talk well. Rude people are everywhere, every day. He can't punch them all. ... (read in full...)
I think I prefer my room mate to my boyfriend...
Q. i moved into an apartment a few months ago. my roomate starting seeing one of the boys on campus and me and him really hit it off and have become best friends. i also have a boyfriend on campus but i think i like my best friend. i always think about ...
A. 2 November 2010: A boyfriend on campus. For some reason he sounds so far away and unimportant. There is nothing you can do unless you are sure that nothing would happen between your roommate and that guy. Even when they don't become bf/gfs, you can't act on your ... (read in full...)
Every time he is out with his friends I turn into a HORRIBLE control freak when he doesn't answer my text right away. How can I stop being this way?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost a year now and we have been living together for about three months. My issue is I have been treating him horribly lately. I get angry at the smallest of things and lash out on him. Every time he is out ...
A. 2 November 2010: I think theraphy would help you. It could be you can't handle his past, but also don't overlook other factors such as your hormonal balance, and whether you are taking any birth control pills. You can't look at the symptoms without treating the body ... (read in full...)
Should I have sex with her even although I'm a virgin?
Q. I'm a virgin, and this really attractive, and fairly experienced girl wants to have sex with me.. I really would rather save myself the embarrassment of telling her I'm a virgin, but then she'll probably think I'm just shit in bed, i don't know what ...
A. 2 November 2010: So you think it's a surprise to hear that a 16-17 year old is a virgin? Am I really that old fashioned? So nowadays first sex at 13 is the norm? You should get to know what kind of person she is first, and what she is looking for, do you like each ... (read in full...)
Pushed out of my job because of a bully!!!
Q. I am a professional and I have had two jobs in my profession that have spanned over the last 10 years. for some reason I just seems to attract bullies. I have done much research on bullying in the work place and I understand why people bully - i...
A. 2 November 2010: To tell you the truth, those people get to the top but inside they are miserable. Not all CEO's are psycopaths but the smart ones who aren't in jail are the ones who step over others to get what they want in a sneaky way. You could just tell they ... (read in full...)
Did he want to break up with me? Why not just tell me so?
Q. Hi, I was in a casual relationship during the last seven months. He was so happy with me and always caring. It was a long distance relationship and we knew from the beginning we cannot have something serious. I have feelings for me and i thought...
A. 1 November 2010: The definition of a casual relationship is that one does not have much responsibility of how the other feels. If it comes, great, but if it goes, oh well.
"we should stop sleeping together but I want to be friends"
When people say that, it's bet... (read in full...)
Ex says he can't trust me but I want him back.
Q. Me and my boyfriend were very close friends for 3 years before we started going out, i thought he was amazing, then suddenly there was just no trust in the relationship. He constantly went through my phone and I admit, I don't really have ...
A. 31 October 2010: He hit me. Those three little words look like they are hidden in the paragraph but they mean huge red flags! What is a bigger threat? Him hitting you out of the blue or you having male friends? Did he even say sorry (Not that a sincere apology would ... (read in full...)
We won't be talking as often... how do I handle this situation?
Q. My friend, "Jane," and I have been best friends for 7 years now. Her boyfriend and I go to the same school while she goes to a different school. She had a barn dance last weekend and her bf was unable to go, so she invited me. We were drinking ...
A. 31 October 2010: Not talking to her is the remedy itself. Can you handle you made a mistake and stop putting yourself in a situation where that could happen again? 7 years ago, you were a preteen so you were cool having a female friend, nothing awkward. Now you want ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend not interested is sex any more
Q. I've been with my girlfriend on and off for about 8 years, and we have a 5 year old daughter together. We have been back together now about 8 months, and I am making a very sincere effort to work things out this time around. She had wanted to ge...
A. 31 October 2010: I would really feel bad if she was indeed attracted to you, and that your sex life would be good after you get married. When I read this again, you told us you already had sex with her, so she broke the vow. Whether she had orgasm or not, the vow ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend not interested is sex any more
Q. I've been with my girlfriend on and off for about 8 years, and we have a 5 year old daughter together. We have been back together now about 8 months, and I am making a very sincere effort to work things out this time around. She had wanted to ge...
A. 31 October 2010: It's not the thing with sex or no sex, and orgasm or no orgasm before marriage. She has issues with self identity. There are people who can't mix sex and love together. The public vow thing bothers me a lot, it's really hypocritical. Has she ... (read in full...)
He says he really likes me but doesn't want a girlfriend.
Q. I have been seeing this guy for a few months now (I have not been sleeping with him) ... He comes down basicully every night after work and college and we watch some t.v and chat. We do sleep in the same bed, although we are not having sex. He seems ...
A. 31 October 2010: You can wait for him to open up, that's if you can't find someone else. Some people take years to get over a breakup, for some, only a few days.
Emotions, moods, feelings are different things. Emotions and moods are more chemicals affected by your... (read in full...)
I cheated and never told him
Q. im with my boyfriend 5 years and we have a daughter together and another child on the way. I should be happy but im not because i cheated at christmas and never told him the truth. Before you judge me listen to my story first. i was just 18 when i ...
A. 31 October 2010: I don't understand why the fella wants to tell your sister you slept with him unless he's an ass. And if they really said things like that you could deny it, saying they were both drunk and didn't know what they were saying. Not the most graceful ... (read in full...)
I have feelings for my boyfriend's best friend but he has a girlfriend.
Q. Okay, so I've been dating my boyfriend for a couple months now. And the one thing on the back of my mind, is his best friend. I've started developing feelings for him, and it's just come on so randomly. There's just something about him, that clicks ...
A. 31 October 2010: You should stop hanging out with your boyfriend's friend. For some time forget about the other guy. When you are alone with your boyfriend and you still feel that something is missing then you know he's not the one for you. You are young you have ... (read in full...)
I'm wondering if its stupid or foolish in a sense that I'm 'waiting' for another chance at 'us'.
Q. to make a long story short, i was in a relationship with this guy for about a year. in the beginning, i lied to him about my past, which really hurt him and tainted the relationship. we took a 'break' after that, and since then we've been in this ...
A. 31 October 2010: The reason why you broke up is because he can't handle your past (talk about retroactive jealousy), and not because he is busy. It's not stupid to want something, but it is to wait for something that won't be. He said he didn't know what would ... (read in full...)
Should I just approach him and tell him I'm ready for more???
Q. I have been "talking" to this person for approximately a year an a half but are and have always been in a grey area. As time progressed, things have gotten a lot better in that he is no longer afraid of people seeing us together or thinking that we ...
A. 31 October 2010: He can cause problems acting territorial. He really has to restrain his aggressive, primal nature. Whether a label is given you should keep things seperate between work and love life. When people spread rumors then it would affect both of your ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend not interested is sex any more
Q. I've been with my girlfriend on and off for about 8 years, and we have a 5 year old daughter together. We have been back together now about 8 months, and I am making a very sincere effort to work things out this time around. She had wanted to ge...
A. 30 October 2010: Don't buy into it. The idea of pure sex, religion has drilled into her mind. A blow job would be considered dirty for her. How can you find it exciting to spank a virgin Mary? Marriage is between two people. I find the idea of the public vow very ... (read in full...)
Anyone have any advice on how to better my sex life with my fiance?
Q. Okay, I'm new to this. My fiance and I have been together almost 2 years now. When we started out, we constantly on a regular daily basis would have sex. After about six months things started to calm down we would go from every day to 3-4 times a ...
A. 30 October 2010: It is alright to have sex with him when you don't feel like it. It's called maintenance sex. It's not all about power, relieving his balls, being a sex object, keeping a man, deferring to him. It's more about putting the effort to connect with each ... (read in full...)
He claims he can't be in a relationship right now
Q. Hello, I've been in a relationship with this guy for 2,5 years. We were even engaged. I'm 24, this guy just turned 23. Evert hing was perfect for the first 2 years. We fought like normal couples do. Sometimes fights were over nothing, sometim...
A. 30 October 2010: I can't be in a relationship rignt now = I am a loser
It's not you = I am a loser
I work a lot but can't pay rent = I am a loser
Being with you is a daily reminder that he's a loser. He's wondering why you keep running back to him. He senses that ... (read in full...)
I don't understand why he has stayed when he has no love in his heart for me.
Q. Hi I am in the strangest relationship i have ever been in. This man is married but please no telling me i am a home wrecker because that is not the case here, I have been in this relationship for many years this man doesn't love me but he knows i ...
A. 30 October 2010: You are all in your 60's so the lack of sex isn't due to age. There is a breakdown in their communication. They gave up patching the hole in the relationship and he's looking outside to fill that hole. He is doing what he's doing because he's ... (read in full...)
What is dirty talk?
Q. What do men want when they say they want dirty talk. Can anyone give me some ideas of what they are talking about. Do they want me to call them a dirty boy and start spanking them? Or is dirty talk more of "oh f*** me baby?" Just wanted to see what ...
A. 30 October 2010: Dirty talk is suggestive ideas about scenes and actions, trigger words that give them a hard on. If you are on the phone, remember that men are visual so always start from what you are wearing. Men want to be desired, they want you to beg for it. ... (read in full...)
What's wrong with me? I'm scared of everything
Q. Hello. I am 13 yrs. old. I am in the 8th grade. I dont have many friends. I dont really like people, and people dont really like me, but I want friends. I hope it will get better in high school, but I dont think so, and I dont know why I think ...
A. 30 October 2010: From what you wrote, you sound normal to me. The world can be an unfriendly place for teenagers, full of dark forces. The future can be unpredictable. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be a recluse. Going to a psychiatrist would help you rule ... (read in full...)
I've been waiting for my husband to grow up
Q. I've been married for seven years have have two children with my husband. He recently told me that he's been thinking about separating. I never believe in divorce unless there was abuse or infidelity involved. We have had a hard marriage. Lot's of ...
A. 30 October 2010: When a man makes a woman pregnant, it doesn't automatically give him the parenting skills he needs. Same as a marriage certificate, it says nothing about him being able to play the role of a husband. He could benefit from parenting classes. His ... (read in full...)
Has my relationship got a chance of lasting?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been in a relationship for a year now. In the last five months or so, alarms bells have been ringing; saying somethings not quite right here. I am in love with him. I worship the ground he steps on. I am in full time trai...
A. 28 October 2010: You are confusing. How can you worship him and at the same time ask for a break because he's not manly enough?
Is his clinginess a symptom of being in love, or does he call 40 times a day and gets angry when you talk to a male coworker?
Peopl... (read in full...)
I want my married lover to take off his wedding ring when he's out with me
Q. ok yall i have been dating this man for a least a years and some months! however our relationship is getting deeper and deeper everyday! when the two some us started dating we both agree to no feeling no attachment ! now that time change words have ...
A. 28 October 2010: Taking off a ring is not just a simple motion, it says something else deeper. Later it would be leave your wife for me. This guy has a habit of pulling away when there is a problem. He pulled away from his wife and children when home life is no ... (read in full...)
I feel guilty and foolish for being open! So is it best to close up?
Q. My first boyfriend of almost two years is great. I can’t find many things wrong with him, in fact, next to him, I’ve been feeling almost inadequate! He is careful when he speaks. He tries to avoid conversations with emotional weight or bias. ...
A. 26 October 2010: You shouldn't mirror his behavior. He doesn't want a carbon copy of himself. Disclose information in the briefest way possible. Ask him for advice. He will feel like your protector. Just make sure you don't blab about the same issue over and over ... (read in full...)
FWB, then we are exclusive, then back to FWB. Now I'm pregnant.
Q. My bf and i have been together for a little over a year. our relationship is quite complicated. we met and both of us had been hurt and decided we didnt want a relationship or to be in love. well. HA we broke our own rules fell in love and became ...
A. 26 October 2010: Have no expectations and try your best to get a job after you have a baby. He wants to live with you because he knows his other ex wouldn't let him live with her but you, you may still give him a chance. If he lives alone that means he has to pay ... (read in full...)
I want my wife to move out...What else can happen?
Q. Dear people I have asked for your help before and I found your advice (Very very helpful ) so please try and help me again. Three years ago my wife had an affair with a married man. This affair has destroyed our family and because I could not ...
A. 25 October 2010: If there is no divorce, it means at some point in your life you would be able to forgive her. I do not think it's wrong to ask her to leave the home. She didn't sound remorseful for what she has done. After the last texts with her coworker, she ... (read in full...)
How do I know if I should salvage this at all?
Q. I have been married for ten years....sometimes he's been great, alot of times not. i recently kicked him out and started seeing an ex. (well not really, i just wanted to show him i really could find another.) stupid kinda, i know, but we agreed t...
A. 25 October 2010: It sounds like he is a provider but doesn't really know how to act like a husband. Words like emotional support and intimacy are probably foreign to him. You did nothing to cause his affair. If he had a problem with you raising your voice he should ... (read in full...)
Does she only see me as a friend?
Q. Okay, I really need help. I have a female roomate who has lived with me now for the past 2 mos. I had met her earlier this summer, and recently she needed somewhere to live, and I stepped in to help her. Anyhow, her and I get along extremely well, ...
A. 22 October 2010: You've tried and nothing happened because you didn't officially ask her out, although she has been hinting a lot. Mentioning about the dogs was to test your reaction. You have to do the asking. Just ask if she's over her ex. The falling in love part ... (read in full...)
I can't be without my boyfriend, but I can't carry on having his dad talk about me in this way.
Q. Ok, here it is. I suffer from slight mental health issues. Having been bullied since I was about 10, I have learned to block a lot of things out, but eventually it all gets on top of me, and I have serious breakdowns, to the point where I curl up ...
A. 22 October 2010: Your boyfriend is not so smart here. His dad cooks for you and drives you home but talks bad behind your back. He is proud and he wants to make sure his son's trophy girlfriend can represent his family. He knows his son is going to tell you this and ... (read in full...)
Need to talk to my b/f about problems in our relationship without sounding bitchy
Q. I'm having a talk with my boyfriend about how he has been treating me and acting and how I don't like it and etc. What are ways to do this without sounding naggy, mean, bitchy, insensitive, annoying, etc. I just want something that wont sound ac...
A. 21 October 2010: How can your boyfriend do his share when he doesn't know how to act like a boyfriend properly? You are giving your boyfriend a lot of pressure to be the only thing positive in your life, or to fix everything that's wrong. He's withdrawing because he ... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend falling out of love with me?
Q. Is my boyfriend falling out of love with me or lost interest? I'll try to keep this short. But here goes. My boyfriend and I have been together for nearly 4 years. I love him so much and I am stilll soo in love with him. I like to think that he's ...
A. 21 October 2010: I don't see anything significant signs that he's falling out of love. He's not going to read your mind. It's better to tell him what you want rather than saying what he isn't doing already. Let him make you happy in Spain. I wish you have a good ... (read in full...)
I'm not as physically attracted to her as I used to be!
Q. So this question goes primarily out to guys, but girls can answer as well. I am 16 and have been dating my girlfriend for 7 months. And for some reason I'm finding myself not being as attracted to her. At first I didn't know why, but as i looked ...
A. 19 October 2010: No, you shouldn't talk to her about it. She is going to think you are the type who finds excuses to run after the infatuation period, a period when your senses are heightened. She is still growing. I would assume she doesn't have a high paying job ... (read in full...)
What can we do to make my boyfriend's mother see that he is a grown up?
Q. My bf Jack is in the army, he is VERY close to his family espically his parents and I love that about him. He was deployed for a year and just came back 3 weeks ago and his mom is driving us crazy. we both lived at home with our parents before he ...
A. 19 October 2010: There is a pursuer/distancer relationship between mom and son. The more she bugs him, the more he runs away. It's good that your boyfriend can say no, but it's even better if he could express his feelings to her about her overprotectiveness so that ... (read in full...)
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