A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey, I just need a second opinion to make sure I'm not going mad. This is a question about my boyfriend and and my family.I have been going out with my boyfriend for almost two years. During which time my boyfriend has met my family about five times during the first year and none since then. He has come from a very troubled family himself and he uses this as a reason, for he fears that he will act awkward, (as well as "what will we do round there?!") for not coming over to my parents (who I live with).This becomes very pressured on me because it then falls on my back and make the effort to go and see him, and if I can't then we can go almost two weeks without seeing one another! I'm a full time student so I can't always just go and see him and I also feel torn between my family and him. I guess I just want to know if there's anything that I can do or say that will get him atleast making and EFFORT!Thanks in advance guys x Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2010): In a situation like this, there is nothing you can do or say to get him to make an effort. It's pretty silly of him not to come see you. It's not like you will be hanging around your parents the whole time he is there, right? Tell him you guys will be off in another room to watch tv/a movie, play a game, or whatever you like to do together. If that doesn't work, then just let him be by himself, because it's not fair for you to have to do all the traveling.
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (1 December 2010):
 He has to open up about what issues he's having. Your strength of your relationship is based on how well you can communicate. If his approach to problems is shutting down and hiding then what good is he if one day you need emotional support? How is he going to act when one day he has kids with you? Does it mean that because his father wasn't good to him then he can't be a good father himself? He has to accept that family is a part of life. If he can't handle that he can't have a relationship. Don't make the effort to see him. If he can't see you because you live with your family, then he doesn't get to see you.
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