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... Send *anniepeg a private message | | | *anniepeg's profile:I am 34, married a second time. My son is 9 years old and 2 cats. He keeps me busy. My hobbies are movies, recreational games like xbox games, darts, badminton and dear cupid of course. I used to play the piano but stopped. I have been here for 6 years. Every year I see myself change. Every day is a surprise, an opportunity for growth while some days are just coasting along wondering what the point is. My relationship views are a mix of traditional values and modern, open minded ones. I still believe in long term monogamy as it feels right to me. Other than that I feel there are too many rules in a relationship that I would like to get rid of. Dearcupid is a source of my learning about relationships. I am too young to form a conclusion of what love is. I guess I will grow old with this site.
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Sex is not special anymore!
Q. Today I write, I write about my experiences with sex, and love. How I have experienced so much and have come to many realizations about sex and love. First off to anyone who even reads this I know what you must be thinking. That somewhere out ther...
A. 30 January 2011: You want to be needed as a man, not just a sex toy.
Things I like in a man, stability, strength, ability to make me feel like a woman. I have faith in relationships and I am confident that I am not the only woman saying this. You are just look... (read in full...)
How can I bridge this terrible predicament?
Q. I am a middle-aged man, I have a daughter who was born when I was in my teens. Her mother and I were High school sweet hearts and I loved her very much. My daughters mother was unfaithful to me many times, I tried to make it work but I could no ...
A. 30 January 2011: Tell her the truth. Don't use words like tramp or hoe. Your daughter probably thought you didn't care about her enough, as if your pride of being a man was more important than the welfare of the baby. Her mother is distorting facts in order not to ... (read in full...)
Men are such an enigma. What would you call this relationship?
Q. Its simple. I really adore this guy whom I kept meeting at work. Though not co workers we are in a formal set up. In years we have become warmer. He is aware of my problems n tells me Im around when required. I liked him and we kept in touch. Then ...
A. 29 January 2011: I am not sure what this is. Men like to solve problems, it makes them feel useful. You don't want him to look at you as someone who needs help, but someone to have fun with too. You need help and you need love, but you shouldn't portray yourself as ... (read in full...)
He said we were moving too fast ...
Q. I met someone through friends about 8 months ago. We started with simply text messages and a couple phone calls and I really liked him. We wanted to same things out of a relationship and life. He seemed perfect. We decided to take things slow ...
A. 28 January 2011: He doesn't make any sense. You don't make sense either. Even if readers here tell you to leave him alone, you would still spend time with him. You like a challenge. As much as I hate saying this, he likes the idea of the chase. He knows you would do ... (read in full...)
What advice do you have for a feuding couple?
Q. My girlfriend and I fight a lot. We're both stubborn headed which is probably the main reason why we fight. Today I tried to joke with her and she said she felt like I "insulted" her. What advice does anybody have for the feuding couple? I love ...
A. 28 January 2011: For her, she has to simply ask what she wants from you, trusting that you will give her what she needs.
For you, whenever she has a meltdown, just take it like a man and never take it personally. Listen to her, don't fix her problems because she ... (read in full...)
I love my ex so much and I miss her. Should I send her flowers for Valentine's day?
Q. I just recently broke up with my ex fiance. We were together for 6 years, we broke up 6 months ago, but we kept talking for many months. I was trying to work things out, but she did not believe that i would ever change. Her reason for leaving ...
A. 26 January 2011: Talking to a girl online is not that big of a sin. I think she overreacted. I would send her flowers. That's the only way to know the answer quickly. If she says yes, then great! if she says no, then you should be happy either way because even if ... (read in full...)
Help! Do I give up on the girl of my dreams or be there for her and hope she gives us a chance later on?
Q. Alright so I've been talking to this beautiful girl I met at my friends bday party for about a month now on the phone. We have awesome convos and sometimes we talk for hours on the phone. She always jokes about us getting married and tells me how ...
A. 26 January 2011: I usually won't think that a girl you talk on the phone is the girl of your dreams. If there is no chance to meet, to gradually get closer physically, then she is just a dream and not reality so in a sense you are right, she is a girl but only in ... (read in full...)
Suspicious texts, tights in the bed and a drinking problem....
Q. I am very happy and have a boyfriend who I'm engaged to we are very happy together although lately he has been spending longer and longer at work, he also has sone very suspicious texts on hid phone and flirty messages such as 'I'll splash you' I ...
A. 18 January 2011: He's showing signs he's not ready to settle down. He's showing you disrespect by dismissing what worries you. Consider yourself lucky you see his true self before getting married. I would never involve myself with a drunk, and a cheater who denies. ... (read in full...)
Should I trust what he says?
Q. I'm not exactly sure what to do in this situation. Around this time last year I met this guy and we began a little "thing" and we hung out on a weekly basis. One night we ended up having sex and then the day after he completely ditched me and I was ...
A. 18 January 2011: That little thing you had with him wasn't a horrible mistake. You weren't bound to each other and he was under no obligation to tell you everything in his life. It's good that he cares about your feelings and that he said sorry.
"See where this goes... (read in full...)
21 year old dating a 16 year old... how do I make people understand we are serious?
Q. Dear Cupid, I've recently been seeing this girl who is the sister of a work collegue. We get on like a house on fire, shes sweet, thoughtful and drop dead gorgeous but there is one thing holding me back and that's a gap between our ages, i'm 21 and...
A. 18 January 2011: People are always going to judge no matter what. If they are really your friends they would respect your privacy. Let people talk all they want and refrain from trying to explain the relationship or to defend yourself. You don't need your friends' ... (read in full...)
We have a 6 month old child but I keep looking at other men. Am I a bad girlfriend?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 6 years, we have a 6 month old son. And recently i've found myself looking at other men and really really wanting them? i've told my boyfriend and he said hes hurt by it but wont talk about it. He works nights and ...
A. 18 January 2011: If you had been attracted to your boyfriend before, you can certainly be attracted to him again.
This is an example that being honest works against you. Don't express anything you have no solution to. You might as well tell him you don't want him,... (read in full...)
I cheated, should I let my wife cheat now?
Q. i have cheated on my wife now iam wondering if i should let her be with another man so she can feel even ...
A. 17 January 2011: First you have define what your love is. Does love mean restraining your desires for other people even if it hurts? Does love mean possessing the other, domesticating each other? Can you separate love from sex and can she? Can she agree with your ... (read in full...)
Why do people cheat even when they're supposedly in love?
Q. I was watching a movie the other night [Swimfan] and there was a guy in the movie who really loved his girlfriend. Then a new girl moved to their school and she and the guy started talking... then they went out to eat one night, and later that night ...
A. 17 January 2011: You can't take a movie and then say this is what's happening to a lot of people. Movies are supposed to have a shock effect on the audience. If anything it could be that the media is trying to corrupt young minds. It's not hard to say no. That guy ... (read in full...)
Why are women so cruel to other women?
Q. What would you do? Stage four cancer, husband becoming more distant each week. Female @ his place of work keeps "needing" him...to help her buy a gun to make her feel safe, to give her a ride home (pretty far away), keeps bringing him his favorite ...
A. 17 January 2011: I am not the only one who thinks that women are losing friendships with other women. Instead of seeking each other for comfort, we compete and destroy ourselves. In native tribes women used to spend time with each other in lodges, talk about their ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants to be a father figure for this other girl's child!
Q. i have been with my boyfriend for five years and weve hit some rough spots every now and then. 2 years into our relationship he cheated on me with this girl he worked with. we ended up working through it and stayed together and since then he has ...
A. 11 January 2011: Well nothing sexual happened. You can guess why. Why did he leave his girlfriend after she had a baby with him? He can always blame that the woman is always tired, only cares about the baby and not him, but he would never admit that it could be he's ... (read in full...)
I ended it with a text message!
Q. Hi everyone, wow this is going to be a long story, today I broke up with my ex, my reasons? well I am a very loving, thoughtful, kind, caring person to be with, my faults? I am clingy and needy, I was with my ex from October 2009 till today, we had ...
A. 4 January 2011: You could still get her back but you have to be patient. Call her and apologize and tell her this is what you should have done at that moment. The correct response to her statement "life is boring." is "how come you feel this way? What kind of life ... (read in full...)
I'm worried about my ex's partying ways.
Q. The love of my life (6 years) broke up with me a month ago. Apparently she had been cheating on me with one of her friends, and decided to be with the friend. She had also started ignoring me and cancelling our dates to go to wild parties and bars ...
A. 4 January 2011: You should leave her alone. Alcohol, drugs, of course are bad. She's not going to listen to you because it puts you in the position to tell her you are good and she is bad. No one likes to be made shameful of themselves. Everyone follows their ... (read in full...)
I don't feel like I get a fair return in relationships
Q. Why do I feel this? Let's say everyday I come home from work. I have to cook, clean, and keep my child quiet and inactive. At night I relieve my man (not saying that I don't enjoy sex, I actually very much do.) My man just pretends to help out with ...
A. 3 January 2011: Thank you. For the amount of typos you could tell the followup wasn't by me. It's hard for me to just trust when he says he's tired because of all the inconsistent things he said in the relationship. I am okay with that, however I am not okay with ... (read in full...)
I don't feel like I get a fair return in relationships
Q. Why do I feel this? Let's say everyday I come home from work. I have to cook, clean, and keep my child quiet and inactive. At night I relieve my man (not saying that I don't enjoy sex, I actually very much do.) My man just pretends to help out with ...
A. 2 January 2011: Well to begin with. This woman does not live with the man she is speaking about. The chores she speaks of are her own. They see each other 3 times a week. Once or twice a week the man will have them over to spend the evening , Cooking dinner, Spend ... (read in full...)
He has a girlfriend...how do I tell him I like him?
Q. Here we go again. So I used to like this guy A LOT. I was or maybe still am on and off with liking him. When he didn't have a girlfriend I didn't want him to know that I liked him but somehow it got out and he gave me his number. I am the type of ...
A. 29 December 2010: Please don't tell him you like him. That gives him the power and you become an item he can choose. Keep being friends and continue flirting with him, but also flirt with another guy. The importance is to support his decision to stay with his ... (read in full...)
Is it possible to make myself not love her?
Q. Uhm... I've known a friend since I was 12, and we've been best friends since then. However, during the past year, I've come to realise that I love her more than just a friend. She got a boyfriend six months ago and everytime she mentions him I get ...
A. 29 December 2010: Your questions implies that you want to stay friends with her and when you can't get her you want her even more. The more angry you get the more she justifies that being with her boyfriend is good for her so you are in a no win situation. You will ... (read in full...)
Ex advice!!!
Q. hi am new to dis but i need advice on how to get over a ex. we met in oct of 09 and i moved to his hme twn and 10 so we started dating and so on, then things began to change we argured more, broken up over dozen of times, so things started to happen ...
A. 29 December 2010: When he wants to break up, he wants to end that arguing and not he doesn't want you. If you can come up with a way for both of you to talk only when you calm down, and to agree to stop and talk later when it reaches a limit, you are able to ride ... (read in full...)
If I tell her I cheated she may not accept my proposal!!!
Q. Please 1. what processes do i need to go through during love making (sex) to make my girl smiling during and after sex. 2. I've faulted my girl by having sex with another girl because she refuse my advances. So do i tell her that i did cheat on ...
A. 29 December 2010: First of all stop seeing the other girl. When the two questions combine together, I am thinking that you feel anxious about the first night experience, worried about your performance, and therefore you want to try it out with someone to gain ... (read in full...)
I live in my twin's shadow!
Q. Hello. I am 19 years old and I will be turning 20 in a few short months. I have a twin sister and a little sister and I am currently attending my first year of college. I have always been known to be very level-headed and dedicated and when I am on ...
A. 26 December 2010: First I would like to ask you do you really want and need a guy because this is what your heart desires, or you want one just because your sister had many, and everyone is in a relationship? What do you like about guys? What is it in guys that turn ... (read in full...)
My first love from 30 years ago contacted me...He's free, I'm not. I still love him. Don't know how to quit him. Help!
Q. I have been with my husband for over 20 years. We have a good marriage now, not always easy (I guess that's marriage afterall), but we are making it work. We also have children. Last year, I was contacted by the first man I ever loved. There wa...
A. 22 December 2010: I think the desire to reconnect with long time exes has to do with correcting the wrongs in the past, wishing things were different. Don't feel guilty about ignoring his emails. You will actually be doing him a favor by letting him choose someone ... (read in full...)
Why can't the girl I love appreciate all the things I have done for her?
Q. Why can't the girl I love appreciate all the things I have done for her? 1. When she was upset, I tried my best to cheer her up by trying my best to fake a smile even though I am a very pessimistic person and suffer from depression (not ...
A. 18 December 2010: You are wise beyond your years. Young girls usually fancy boys who look like studs and are socialable. Who's going to fancy someone with an unusual interest like making money at 16, or studying ancient texts? You have to understand that a lot of ... (read in full...)
What's got into my wife? She says infidelity will enhance our relationship.
Q. My wife and I have been married for 17 years. She has never had sex with anyone other than me. She told me just two days ago that our sex life was great but that she wanted to experience sex with another man and also said she wanted me to be with ...
A. 18 December 2010: Infidelity is a strong word. Before you only knew that one person is good, getting another is betrayal and that's bad. As you explore anything outside monogamy you will find terms like polyfidelity, triad or quad relationships. There are many models ... (read in full...)
My wife now wants a threesome. Who exactly will be the third person? Not me
Q. My wife has stated she would be open to a threesome encounter with a male or female. I'm not interested in being the third person in this. What can I do?...
A. 18 December 2010: You don't have to be the third person. You can be three equal sides of a triangle. If you are 100% heterosexual then a threesome with another man would not be for you. Since this is something new you will be confused about your role in her life. ... (read in full...)
I'm ruining everything and I feel powerless to stop what I'm doing. Help please.
Q. hi, I am so confused and don't know what to do. I've fallen in love with this guy and sometimes i feel like I shouldn't talk to him. That I might do too much, I may annoy him or disturb him. I think he may think the same way. The problem now is that ...
A. 18 December 2010: You are old enough and he kind of knows why you are not calling but you both didn't want to make it obvious. Guys can't trust themselves reading your signals so if you keep this thing vague you may never get him to ask you out, like he should have ... (read in full...)
An unrequited love actually loved you.
Q. My story is like many others on here... A girl I was friends with in college fell in love with me. But for me, I wasn't interested. She was too fat. As time progressed we became good friends. At one point I fell for her best friend. Hard. But ...
A. 18 December 2010: When someone like 8 years ago called me all of a sudden I am going to assume a few things. He's drunk. He just broke up with someone. He's lonely for the holidays. He had a dream about me. He's living in the past and couldn't let go.
Love as a word... (read in full...)
He didn't want to have sex while we were together but now he does?
Q. I am enganged to the love of my life. We've only been together for 4 months but everything is perfect, except for one thing and we've just had an upset convo about it. He suffers from depression and low self esteem and although we are close sexually ...
A. 17 December 2010: You did nothing wrong. You mean you should have pretended to be happy about it when you are not?
You: sexually frustrated. Him: Depression, anxiety, ex issues.
He's the one who needs more understanding. He needs you more than you need him. He'... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend serious about me?
Q. Okay before I ask my question ill give you background information and I would really like advice from male readers but I'm happy with whatever I can get. I have been dating this guy for about 7 months. He told me from the beginning that is very ...
A. 13 December 2010: He's ready for committment and family. Good for him. If you are not at the same wavelength as him there's nothing wrong with that. He just has to be patient. What sounds like true love to him may sound like blind faith and possession on your part. ... (read in full...)
Is it just me, or is there something wrong with this relationship?
Q. I don't know whats happened today but it has been awful. We were just meant to be buying decorations for the tree but somehow we ended up angry with each other again. When we got home he sat on the laptop while I was decorating the tree. The ba...
A. 13 December 2010: What you have may be a prolonged postpartum blues and your boyfriend is affected by you. When you live together you are not separate beings anymore. You absorb each other's energy. When the boat sinks at least one person has to get the boat up and ... (read in full...)
I need help negotiating all the problems with my girlfriend and my friends!
Q. If you've read my other quetions, you should know exactly what's going on. I've found lately that my best friend has become a bit angry with me abiut my girlfriend, who he liked, but I didn't know. He doesn't say anything to me openly, but I think ...
A. 13 December 2010: In ancient time, men were awarded for being the physically strongest to protect their family and their tribes. They were applauded for killing an opponent. Nowadays we have to be civilized. We are denatured but to say it in a more positive way, we ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend pressured me into having an abortion
Q. Hi guys, please give me some advice. Iv been with my boyfriend nearly 2 years and about 6 months into our relationship I fell pregnant. I was on the pill at the time and think it must have happened due to a little tummy bug. I was head over hee...
A. 13 December 2010: The feeling of regret is not going to be there for a long time. I'll promise you. No one pressured you. You did it for yourself and I admired your courage. You may feel this is the worst thing you did but in the future when you are with a more ... (read in full...)
Married, but I had a co-worker's baby, now what??
Q. I've been together w my husband for 81/2 years. I got pressured into having sex with a co-worker. I was too afraid to tell him no. (why , because he got mad at me if I didn't). Stupid stupid I know. I have always had zero feelings for this guy. ...
A. 12 December 2010: Does your coworker know you are pregnant? This makes a lot of difference. How far away are you?
Brainstorm what's going to happen if you were to make a few choices in life, before just spilling it all out with your husband. At least when your husb... (read in full...)
Why no contact from him on the weekends??
Q. I have been seeing this guy who owns his own business and is always crazy busy, he is a client of mine that we hit it off from the begining. We have a connection to each other that is so overwhelming to me it makes me weak everytime i think about ...
A. 12 December 2010: Perhaps he knows he's unattractive and feels out of your league. He's testing if he doesn't contact you would you still wait for him. It's a bad feeling being with someone you think would be stolen away any day. So maybe he's indeed looking for a ... (read in full...)
I swore I'd never marry again but now I want to! How do I tell my boyfriend?
Q. This is a bit long, so thank you in advance for reading. My boyfriend and I have been together for about a year, living together for 6 months. We are both in our early 30s and have known one another for 15 years. I am his first "serious" ...
A. 12 December 2010: You are basically like a married couple, but without the till death do we part promise. On an emotional level, the best promise is to treat each other with tenderness and respect everyday. On a physical level, it's going to a legal witness and have ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend was robbed and says that if I love him I should go cash in my bonds and give it to him
Q. My boyfriend was robbed for several hundred dollars, right before Christmas. He has a 6 yr old we've been together for 3 1/2 yrs. The past year has been rocky because he cheated on me and I'm stiiill trying to regain all the trust. He says because ...
A. 12 December 2010: I am not sure if I could believe his story. What kind of young guy just walk out the door with thousands dollars of cash? Did he spend carelessly online using his credit card? Ask him for more details. Who was the guy who mugged him? What does he ... (read in full...)
How you get a man is how you lose them?
Q. I want to know if this is true. I heard someone say "how you get a man is how you loose them" i got with a man that was married and he finally left his wife for me. So does that mean he is going to leave me for anothre?...
A. 12 December 2010: Let's not discourage her. I hate to think that men just want to find replacements when it gets boring. Be the best wife you can be. You are with him now, it doesn't matter how you got him. Make the best out of it and don't let guilt punish you at ... (read in full...)
How can I contain my bad attitude?
Q. Me and My boyfriend have been together for almost a year i have a bad Attitude problem because when i lived with my parents thats how people would commucate to one another when they are up set they will yell my boyfriend wants me to change the ...
A. 11 December 2010: I think your question is also your answer. You can unlearn what you had learned when you grew up. Without expressing or suppressing your anger, the third thing to do is just to observe your feelings, and let your thoughts melt away. You are your own ... (read in full...)
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