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... Send *anniepeg a private message | | | *anniepeg's profile:I am 34, married a second time. My son is 9 years old and 2 cats. He keeps me busy. My hobbies are movies, recreational games like xbox games, darts, badminton and dear cupid of course. I used to play the piano but stopped. I have been here for 6 years. Every year I see myself change. Every day is a surprise, an opportunity for growth while some days are just coasting along wondering what the point is. My relationship views are a mix of traditional values and modern, open minded ones. I still believe in long term monogamy as it feels right to me. Other than that I feel there are too many rules in a relationship that I would like to get rid of. Dearcupid is a source of my learning about relationships. I am too young to form a conclusion of what love is. I guess I will grow old with this site.
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Girlfriend is thinking of leaving me
Q. my girlfriend has told me tonight that she has been thinking about our relationship the past few days. she is thinking about leaving me. we got drunk tonight and i accidentally slipped my ex's name when i was getting frustrated with her. maybe ...
A. 11 September 2010: People lie at the beginning at the relationship to make themselves look smarter, to cover up some weakness, to avoid explaining too much. When you don't feel comfortable saying what's on your mind and you are talking about marriage, you have to ... (read in full...)
Doesn't want a relationship but still acts as if we were still together
Q. Ok so my boyfriend of one year said that he wants us to take a break. He used to be head over heels in love with me, even so much as saying that he could see me as his wife. But this past summer was extremely difficult for the both of us and I said ...
A. 8 September 2010: What you should do is go to the library and read every book you could about men and women in love. We have different communication styles. Find out how you could avoid a future argument by being more aware of how and when your negative emotions get ... (read in full...)
How do I get over feeling duped?
Q. My wife and I have been married for 10 years. When we first started living together she expressed her dislike for certain things in bed. She said she didn't care for sex toys, porn, and oral sex, among other things. We have a healthy sex life, ...
A. 8 September 2010: I am actually going to say something different. She's basically telling you, my ex is uncaring towards me, so now I am going to be uncaring towards you and I am going to make the rules whether you like it or not, because I can't face the past. What ... (read in full...)
I have a strong feeling he's lying but I didn't tell him that...
Q. me and my bf are in a relaition ship of 7 months, i'm christian and he's muslim, he always calls me stupid, he says that all his friends tell him that i'm ugly and he deserves better, he controls what i should say and do. he hate all my friends and ...
A. 8 September 2010: He's a horrible boyfriend. You have nothing to be guilty about. He won't be able to control you because you are not stupid. You were ready to break up with him but then you heart got soft after he told you he tore the tickets. Girl are you fooled! ... (read in full...)
Do I need to move on from this guy or wait for him, patiently?
Q. My boyfriend of one year and I found each other on a dating web site. He really is not my type but he seemed to be one of the only "normal" guys I had met thus far. Our first date was a concert out of town and it was okay. When we got to my house ...
A. 7 September 2010: He feels relieved that you are not a woman who would depend on him financially, at the same time he's ashamed that he doesn't have enough money. Men always say what they feel without knowing why. This must be very frustrating to you but you have a ... (read in full...)
Should I end the relationship or stay with her?
Q. I've been with this sweat lovely lady almost three months long. We get along great and have fun, but recently I've become unsettled, and interested in a few people around me. I am 27 years old (she is 25 yrs old) and lives in a big city, which I’m ...
A. 7 September 2010: It's funny, you knew you are young and aren't ready to settle down while you have been doing all the things that a committed guy is doing: such as meeting family members, laying next to each other, doing so many things together and talking about ... (read in full...)
My head is melted with a decision that I have to make, Can you you help me please?
Q. Any answers will be deeply appreciated from the bottom of my heart. Dear Cupid, I am with my girl for 3 years. We had a lil break up about 2 months back and she started texting a "friend" right away. She sent him pictures and videos and whatever,...
A. 7 September 2010: I don't have a high opinion on girls who give out pictures and videos to guys. It's very indiscreet way to get a guy's attention. She's being disrespectful to you. I don't even need to know the reason for your breakup. You need to end it like ... (read in full...)
How to stay in love, when my wife isn't in love with me anymore.
Q. how can i do it? after all is said and done, it is my fault, i never cheated, hit her. i wasn't there for her emotionally, didn't support her when she needed to be supported. she fell out of love with me. now how can i stay in love with her,...
A. 6 September 2010: It's not your fault if you didn't know what you did wrong. Ask her specifically what emotional support means. Listening to her? Spend more time at home cuddling? More foreplay before sex? Giving her small gifts and surprises? Do the things you used ... (read in full...)
Why is my husband risking everything by visiting prostitutes?
Q. Why is my husband risking everything by continually spending hundreds of pounds visiting prostitutes, he has put is in debt and I keep trying to hold the family together but I seem to be the only one trying or suffering....
A. 6 September 2010: He's in self destructive mode. He's saying fuck it, before I die at least I would have some fun.... (read in full...)
It is infatuation? Or more?
Q. Hi, I am writing to you with hope that you will reply me because i am in real emotional pain. Actually few months ago i started to have a voice chat with a guy who is living in India and we have developed feelings for each other.We haven't...
A. 6 September 2010: It's an email, that's what it is. If he loves you like he says, then tell him to move to England and spend the rest of your life with you. Let's end his pain of waiting forever.... (read in full...)
Online trouble!!!
Q. Hi... Is it right to love a person without seeing.? I mean we both are chatting for a quite a while. And we both love each other. We've planned to meet each other after some months.. But am really scared whether it will succeed. Please give me...
A. 6 September 2010: Well, you still have to try. It's okay if it doesn't work out. Just be prepared that she may not be the same person you imagined her to be. What's wrong with meeting now? Go see if this is real. It's not wrong to love a person without seeing. It's ... (read in full...)
I'm driving myself crazy!!!
Q. I'm really driving myself crazy. I always have these irrational fears and worries about myself. Like that one day I am going to realize I am not in love, or one day I will wrong my girl. I also feel really guilty if I look at porn, look at another ...
A. 5 September 2010: I am the female version of you. I worry that I am not allowed to have emotions, I should not be needy, I feel bad about spending money then worry not having enough dresses.
I think you have an irrational fear of losing her. You are just so in love... (read in full...)
Should I hide my feelings from her or should I tell her, even if she doesn't like it?
Q. Hey guys im new to this. I would really appreciate as many opinions as possible on this one! Basically, i get down whenever my girlfriend goes out and there is a risk of something happening. This is due to the fact that i have trust issues wit...
A. 5 September 2010: Telling her not to go out is not controlling. She should be able to continue her lifestyle without you interfering. It's you who has to decide whether you could live with this. I would never tell a person to stop smoking or stop partying, I just ... (read in full...)
Help!!! Is this guy playing me or does he have genuine feelings for me?
Q. I made a big mistake yesterday, I made out with a guy I was trying to get over, I realize that he was recording me on his fone then he lied saying he was just texting. He then said to me that his friend wants me too, I said I'm not that type of ...
A. 5 September 2010: I don't know why he wanted to record you. I guess he has this friend set up for you, and he's telling him about who you are. The new guy's role is to redirect your focus, because he doesn't have the guts to tell you he doesn't want to be with you ... (read in full...)
I don't want to become a single mother, how can I get him to open up?
Q. Ok, so I am back with my ex boyfriend of 3 years and the father of my child. Currently I'm living back at my parents house with my son and my partner lives on his own. Last week he asked me if I wanted to stay the weekend so I did. But since ...
A. 3 September 2010: You say you are back with him but you are not living with him and he doesn't take care of his son. For me, this is not what going back means. He only wants to see you when he feels like it, like his time is more important than yours, or your son's. ... (read in full...)
I insulted the girl I was dating. Will she forgive me?
Q. I insulted the girl I was dating I thought she was cheating and made alot of terrible insults to her and later she told me she wasn't cheating and then I said I was sorry for saying those things. Will she forgive me?...
A. 3 September 2010: Tell her that your intentions were to feel more connected to her, however your reaction to your suspicions pushed her away and you regretted it. One time I got very mad with my boyfriend because he was counting condoms and one time he said my body ... (read in full...)
Will he cheat or should I trust him?
Q. I'm sorry this is long guys. but i really need help. Me and my boyfriend have been dating for 5 months. and he just recently left for college.....to another state. before he left...we were fighting about some girl he's been talking to. They're both ...
A. 2 September 2010: The thing he wrote on facebook has a sentence structure error. They are broken phrases thrown in together in an awkward way. He's ignorant to think this is something cool to say. The pretty girls are in college just for his entertainment and the ... (read in full...)
I like him, but I want to make sure it's for the right reasons
Q. Heyy (: So, my boyfriend recently broke up with me. This really hurt because i'd never been dumped before, and he was the first boy i really liked (maybe even loved)but after a month or two, i accepted it, and now i think i'm over it. Anyway, o...
A. 2 September 2010: Your ex and his friends are the past so you can stop worrying about them. Once the guy you like sees that you are totally over him, you can tell if he likes you too. If he continues to see you that's a good sign. You are not yet sure if you like ... (read in full...)
Everytime we break up I get a chnage of heart and realise how much I love her.
Q. help me please :( i've been with this amazing girl for nearly 3 years now. well i had, we broke up last monday. our relationship started off so well. and we've had loads of good times. i split up with her last year because i was unhapp...
A. 2 September 2010: No, sorry there is not enough info. Like why did you break up? Your post made it sound like you really didn't know why you break up. If a woman does not get a sufficient reason, she's only going to think of the obvious: such as he's not that into ... (read in full...)
I love him so much.... he left me please I need advice
Q. MOD NOTE: OP's own title please i really need help. i love my fiance more then my life but he just left me today. we were engage alomst three years ago. i hide him about my past . i was victim of rape when i was 11 years old. i did not tell him befo...
A. 2 September 2010: He's selfish to a point to denying what happened to you. A man with integrity is not going to find a reason to suspect your story. 1 in 4 women in the US encounters sex abuse at least once in their lives. This is not something hard to believe. So ... (read in full...)
In love with friend's son!
Q. Hi, I'm a 38 year old female (but look much younger) who has been very happily married for 16 years with three beautiful children. We recently went to my home country over the summer and there met one of our family friends after a long time...
A. 1 September 2010: Just keep on reminding yourself you don't want to throw away a good marriage over 10 minutes of sexual impulse. I don't know how your husband is but healthy men in their 40's are not going to lose to a 19 year old. Younger guys might have better ... (read in full...)
I still love my husband but he went back to his ex. Will he come back?
Q. I separated with my husband of 3 years while I was 5 mnths pregnant. We had problems before but it was just minor problems tht we managed to sort out. The reason we broke up was tht he suspected infidelity though he did not have concrete proof about ...
A. 1 September 2010: You being pregnant made him feel guilty about not taking care of the other child. I don't care if he comes back. Set yourself free. Let him be the one travelling back and forth between houses. Men always make decisions based on impulse. They always ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend of 11 years pregnant but now I've found the girl of my dreams
Q. 11 years I've been with my girlfriend, didn't marry since I always suspected I'd find someone else, someone I knew the moment I lay eyes on her.. it came about 5 months ago, both the knowledge of a baby girl and love of my life started working ...
A. 1 September 2010: What you need to understand about infatuation is that it is an altered state of consciousness. When you are focused on your subject of your dream girl, little or no blood goes to the neocortex, the rational, reality testing part of the brain. You ... (read in full...)
Husband went to strip club 3X, hid it from me and I can't forgive him!
Q. I found out that my husband was drunk and went to strip clubs about 3 times. He did this behind my back. When i found out i was devastated. I feel such hurt, betrayal, anger. I can't get the images out of my mind. I am nervous and anxious all the ...
A. 31 August 2010: I am in no way excusing his behavior but I believe if he truly loves you he would stop going there. Its not a trust issue. He needs to avoid doing things that would trigger your insecurity.
Going to strip clubs isn't cheating. He had no idea how ... (read in full...)
I had sex with my brother's 31 year old friend. My brother will kill us!
Q. okay this is gonna sound well bad but here goes i went to my brother's friend's wedding this sunday just gone, and my brothers other friend who i have just recently fancied was there, i got really drunk like really drunk and randomly he started ...
A. 31 August 2010: Don't tell anyone. It really does no good. Every body gets hurt and the wedding gets ruined. Never get into a situation where you would get so drunk you couldn't think straight. He really doesn't deserve to be best man. I think the only thing you ... (read in full...)
Is not trying to have sex with someone respectful?
Q. Is not trying to have sex with somebody respectful? Somebody was telling me how they knew this guy in college who was really great, etc and wanted her to move away with him. She then told me that he was really respectful because he didn't try to ...
A. 31 August 2010: Everybody has different ideas on when to have sex. Maybe he feels that he won't initiate sex until she shows signs she is ready. You have to find someone with the same values as you. With an open minded, free spirited person, you won't find her ... (read in full...)
Is not trying to have sex with someone respectful?
Q. Is not trying to have sex with somebody respectful? Somebody was telling me how they knew this guy in college who was really great, etc and wanted her to move away with him. She then told me that he was really respectful because he didn't try to ...
A. 31 August 2010: He respects the moral code. It doesn't necessarily mean having sex on the first date is disrespectful. Although a lot of users are disrespectful but having sex on a first date doesn't necessarily make you a user. I find that SOME men who are ... (read in full...)
Difficult relationship with plenty of love and lack of trust!
Q. I've been with my boyfriend some time now and 99.9 of the time we are perfect. Were both young but very much in love. I'd do anything for him and he'd do the same for me but the crowd he hangs around with are not very reliable. A few of them have ...
A. 31 August 2010: I can never be friends with a cheater. I would think, if he did this to his girlfriend, would he do something to betray me too? Staying friends with a cheater is like being an advocate of cheating. Did his friends cheat because they were suffering ... (read in full...)
I am afraid I may lose my friends if I brake up with him!
Q. Dear Cupid, I have been in a relationship with the same guy for a little over 5 years, we used to have sex all of the time but over the last two years I have lost interest in having sex with him. I'm not sure what to do about it, I know it's caus...
A. 30 August 2010: Friends who take sides are not really your friends. I myself feel that my parents and my brother are the best people to talk with. You have to stop thinking that not being able to get married is an embarrassment. He wanted people to feel his pride ... (read in full...)
How can I let go of this' office' attraction when it's going nowhere?
Q. Mod note:OP's own title I have a situation with a guy at work, we are both married and there has been a very strong attraction beween us for 14 months . We are at the point where we are wanting to touch each other whenever possible although n...
A. 30 August 2010: Talk about how much fun you are with your husband and what kind of things you are going to do with your family. Whenever he asks you about your life, always mention your husband first.
In college dorm we played a game in which 3 people of the oppo... (read in full...)
A love that's wrong?
Q. I wanted to share my story with somebody as I'm in a situation that is eating away at me, causing me sleepless nights and affecting me in a way I never thought anything would. The cause of my problem is that I am deeply in love with my wife's s...
A. 30 August 2010: If I were Sarah and I got the love letter after you died, all I would feel is pity for Kim, and that I (Sarah) was the reason her husband can't be completely faithful to her. I know you didn't cheat and never intended to but you always had two women ... (read in full...)
Long distance confusion
Q. In short, I met an American during 3mths over there (I'm in uk) and now I've had to return home due to my visa. He was charming, a gentleman, lovely and funny but totally incapable of expressing an feeling. He cried at the airport when I left but ...
A. 30 August 2010: He wants you to move because that's what you want to do, not because of him. You have to like this country, and be okay with being away from family and friends. Suddenly he's wondering if he's that good that made you want to change your whole life ... (read in full...)
He wants me to be a housewife without marrying me!
Q. My bf and I have been dating for 5 years. I moved about a year ago to where he lives to be with him. We've been living together for a year now. However, we are fighting a lot. We seem to disagree on a lot of things. He gets mad at me for not ...
A. 29 August 2010: Him not proposing is actually a blessing in disguise. You deserve better. What happens when later you get divorced? You end up supporting him too. The longer you stay with him, you are saying to the outside world that other men don't exist.... (read in full...)
We had sex and now he treats me like crap
Q. Ive got a problem with a guy im seeing but and i really like him but he doesnt show any interest in me. The second time i slept with him he wanted to do what they do in da end of a porn movie in my mouth so i said hell no next day i called him he ...
A. 29 August 2010: First of all, this guy is a jerk and doesn't know it. There are no excuses for his rudeness. He's mad because he thought every girl swallows her boyfriend but when you refused his ego was bruised. Rather than saying sorry for being crass, he was ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend thinks its ok to push my buttons, treat me badly and then break up with me!
Q. My girlfriend and I have been dating for 5 yeare. the last three have been on and off. We break up and then get back together. I have done nothing less then shower her with love and affection. I treat her very well, she will tell you that. However, ...
A. 29 August 2010: It's good that you are aware she's doing that out of insecurity, rather than your fault here. But when she pushes your button, you get reactive and she won't acknowledge it when she tries to make you look like the other men in her life. You don't ... (read in full...)
When things are good between us, they are very good. But when they are bad , they are awful.
Q. Iv been in a relationship with this guy for the past year. He is a nice guy and i do like him...but the problem is that we end up fighting a lot, most of the time. Tiny matters escalate into ugly spats, and it gets really unbearable at times. I have ...
A. 29 August 2010: The point of an argument is not to bring the other one down, not to be right, not to make the other person apologize and buy you gifts later. When you argue you are telling the other person your point of view and see if it's possible to compromise ... (read in full...)
I stupidly love a married man. How do I move on?
Q. I met a married man in my local pub a couple of years ago. We struck up an instant, flirty friendship and that continued for ages. Just recently things have progressed and we have had sex. I don't ring or text him and we never arrange to meet, it is ...
A. 29 August 2010: It's easier to move on when you think about the negative things about him. He's too old, he cheats, he's not your type, he can't control his urges, he has no clue how to fix things in his marriage, he has no guts to end it, etc.
Then replace your... (read in full...)
Why do guys feel the need to lie?
Q. Ok,so i just started dating this guy. Granted I have been seeing him for almost two years, but we finally said we would try a "serious relationship". Everything was going good, up until a few days ago, when we had a date planned. So he calls in ...
A. 29 August 2010: He lied because he didn't want you to think you are not special to him. He feels ashamed that he would rather go to a party than hang out with you. Third reason, he has bad preconceptions about what a serious relationship is, he is afraid to lose ... (read in full...)
She doesn't understand my problems with the club scene
Q. My girlfriend likes to go to clubs to dance with her girlfriends and i know she wont dance with any guys. Heres what bothers me though, I dont like her getting all scantily clad and going into a predatory environment. Guys at clubs want to grind ...
A. 29 August 2010: Sorry no advice. People who are partiers never get a date from me. It's like I wear a shirt with the prints: Don't talk to me if you are a partier. She's too old to not understand your concerns. The guys at the clubs are innocent. Unless your ... (read in full...)
Surely its up to me if I watch porn! Isn't it?
Q. Men are visual when it comes to sex! Its a fact..so if your girlfriend will not do sertin things in bed then is it really that rong to watch porn? Insted of tryin to make her do sertin things that she don't wanna do I think she should be fine with ...
A. 29 August 2010:
It depends on what that certain thing is. She is less likely to want to do it when you cite porn as a reference. Porn actresses are paid to do things sometimes they don't enjoy. Sometimes the guy doesn't enjoy it either. Have you seen those guys... (read in full...)
How should I act? I wan't her to give me another chance!
Q. My girlfriend and I have been dating for nearly three and a half years and she decided she wanted a break from the relationship. It's been going downhill with arguments started by me being a complete jerk 99.9% of the time (not being self-blaming, ...
A. 29 August 2010: I think you should calm down. She still loves you but want to understand men a little bit more before she invests in you again. She wants to see that you are emotionally stable enough to handle the vigors of a love relationship. You don't feel equ... (read in full...)
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