A
male
age
30-35,
*alshie93
writes:So I have had a few posts on here about my ex girlfriend.I ignored her for a week, and she started to text me more and more when I had dissapeared from her life.I answered one text last night and we had a short conversation and it went well, nice and light, and I ended it by saying "I had to go to bed" because I don't want her thinking I'm that easy to get back, even though she split up with me.So today, we bumped into each other in person at the local shops after college, and we chatted and laughed and joked and walked back to her college, we were outside and our friends left us and we carried on talking till it was time to go.When it was time, I gave her a big hug and lifted her up and she laughed, and then I gave her a kiss on her cheek while hugging her, and then when I let go she kissed my on the lips.Two weeks ago I had tried to kiss her and she had rejected me, but now she had kissed me.I saw her after school as I was walking for the bus and we chatted again and walked to the bus stop, and before she went I decided to give her a hug and go to kiss her and she kissed back.Now, even though I want her back, I am happy with her wanting me.She says, she wants me, her best friends say she wants me and really likes me. But that she just doesnt want a boyfriend right now, even though we have already been out, we split because we had an argument etc and had a lot going on for each of us and it felt pressured making time for each other.So what should I do know to play it to my advantages.I dont want it going back to me chashing her etc, so should I limit when I text her or what?What little things can I do differently for her to realise, whoa, this is a different relationship altogether and make her eventually want to go out with me as my girlfriend again?So to reiterate.She, wants me. She didn't want to let me go. But I can't understand why she doesn't want a boyfriend. (Her best friend said its because we had little arguments towards the end so I'm guessing she is worried she doesn't want that to happen again, because before the relationship we never had pressure etc.)She really likes me, I think this is shown by her texting me numerous times when I stopped talking and by her kissing me back rather than rejecting me.So, what can I do so I keep the power in the "dating" period before a relationship and also to keep her interested and to want to chase me? And most importantly, what can I do for her to become my girlfriend again if right now she doesn't want a boyfriend, and why might she not want one?Many thanks, and if you do answer I will be so grateful.
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female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (1 December 2010):
 Talk to other girls, not overtly flirt with them. You have to let her know that you got options so that might trigger her competitive nature to get you back. If she seems selfish to you, be selfish yourself. Let her know that if she's not giving you what you need, you have the freedom to get it somewhere else.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2010): first of all, you deffinately did a good job by ignoring her. playing hard to get is a really great way to make people want you, because it's human nature to want what we can't have. so, I'd say to keep that up. but not too much. still text her sometimes, and if you're with her in person don't ignore her, because ignoring her too much could really make her mad, and could drive her sways from you, believe me, I've been there. as far as limiting how offten you text her, yes. I would do that. you don't want to annoy her, but you have to leave her wanting more. keep the coversations short and light, even though it may be hard because you'll probably want to talk to her. (been there too:)) and to make her want to be your boyfriend again, well, I suggest you jut give her some time to think about why she may not want a boyfriend. chances are, if she really likes you, she'll come around and relize that you're worth it. if you do end up becoming her boyfriend, then show her that you changed, and that you wont aruge with her like you used to. if an arguement comes up, then just say, "baby, I don't wanna fight with you." and appologize. or find some way to make it up to her before it explodes into something bigger.
just one last thing to say. and not trying to sound like a pessimisI, but sometimes, toying with people emotions like playing hard to get, and using reverse psyhology isn't a good thing. the feelings sometimes aren't genuine, because they may like you, because they want what they feel they can't get(as I said above) you may want to see if her feelings are true before you go much further with this. once she has you again, the feelings may fade because, well it just won't be as interesting now that she knows she can get you. not that I think this will happen, because, in this case, I don't think it will. just letting you know for future refrence. sorry, I must sound a bit like a hypocrite, because above I said it was a good thing... and it is in some cases. like such as this one, where she's your ex, and you know she liked you for YOU at one point before, so you know she's attracted to your personality, and not just that you're hard to get.
and now I'm just rambling on..
sorry.
I wish you the best of luck! :)
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