A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:What is going on? Should I break up with him?We have been dating for nearly 5 months. I don't want to say that our relationship is perfect but we hadn't been through any dramas or fights. He is a year older than me, much more mature but has a hint of recklessness in him. Although I'm childish because of my nature, I'm more responsible. It's funny when I think about it but we are two completely different person. He's pessimistic and I'm down to earth. He's practical while I just lack in common sense. The thing that tied us together is that special spark, our weird conversations, and a lot of cupid arrows. When I first met him, we started our little thing very awkwardly. We go out not long after our first couple dates. To him, I probably was not the 'hard to get kinna girl' perhaps had come to be "too easy". I didn't put up a challenge or the 'catch game' because I think it's useless and waste of time. I liked him and very much did want to be his girlfriend as soon as I can. Long story short, skip the middle part, we've been going out and enjoy ourselves as much as we can. A problem is that, he doesn't have a strict curfew while I do. Although I'm a first year in college, my curfew is to be home around 6 unless there's important thing. On weekends, although I can go out but my parents wouldn't like it very much and often scowled that I go out and stay out too late, as in 9. I also can not drive yet, so it hard on the transportation and my boyfriend has to take me everywhere. I will going to get my license in a month so hopefully that would not be a trouble for us. Anyway, here's where I felt my insecurity. Before, he didn't say much about my inability to stay out late. But lately, he become more 'whiny', for the lack of word. He even made a comment before that "he should have asked me if I was allowed to stay out late before he started dating me." It hurts to hear that even thought he was joking. He makes more mean remarks lately with a joking tone. It confused me a lot. I know he want to spend more time with me. But I'm trying as best as I can without making my parents mad. I'm struggling between everything even with school. I'm grateful to have him as my boyfriend and care for him as much as I can. I don't ask much nor am I clingy or nosy. Sometimes, I even afraid that he might think I don't care because I hardly ask. It's because I want him to be comfortable telling me things. I don't want to be the person who do the telling all the times but I don't want to pressure him. I felt like our communication from the beginning had been a problem. I don't want to break up with him because of something stupid like this but I don't know what's going on. I feel like I'm the person holding this relationship together and it had been very tiring.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your answers, I'm sorry it took a while for me to reply. There was a little personal stuff I had to take care off and was too busy. Don't worry, nothing related to my relationship. =) My parents have been more lenient lately but I'm still careful not to push it. My bf is still annoyed about it sometimes but he's alright now...[he's a real grumper. .] But it's cute when he took me home early even when I don't need to so I wouldn't get into trouble. You're right, something like this is not worth it to break up over. I was bit insecure but I'm better now. =)
A
female
reader, tennisstar88  +, writes (30 November 2010):
 What's really the problem here? Is it the communication, the fact that you feel like you're putting more in than you're getting in return? From your post it sounds like much more than just a strict curfew.
Seeing as your 18-21, 6 and 9 on the weekends is an extremely strict curfew. Why do they want you home so early? I would have a chat with them explaining that legally you are an adult, a responsible one at that, and is capable of making wise choices. Tell them you feel like your curfew is too strict for someone your age and ask them if they would extend by at least 3 hours. I don't think that's asking much, but then again it depends on your parents. If they knock the idea, it's their house, their rules.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (30 November 2010):
 His statement didn't mean if I knew that about you, I wouldn't have dated you. It's more like, it would have spared my frustration if I had known you have to follow a strict curfew, and not because you don't want to make the effort to see me.
I know you were surprised and reacted to his statement with silence. You shouldn't feel shy to ask what he really meant. Both of you should feel comfortable speaking up, questioning more and confirming what's being said.
You will be more independent before you know. This is not something worth breaking up over.
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