A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:ok i have been having a casual relationship for a while...i was burnt by some boy friends and am just having fun...from the very first we made it clear to each other that we were going to be just sex partners..anyways lately hes been looking at me differently he says he loves my eyes and he cant stop looking at me..the way he treats me too is way different..caring..loving..gentle..not that he wasnt that bfore its just on a whole new level now.. i do have feelings for him and i like him alot..im afraid afraid of getting to close..i feel like i want to back out now but on the other hand i like him and still want to see him..im afraid of the intensity of the relaitionship now and i dont know what to do Reply to this Question
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female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (24 November 2010):
 So why is it that when girls go into a serious relationship and get hurt, when they look for "fun" they get boys who fall in love with them?
It's like you are saying to people, "I love you, love me back." That doesn't work well.
It's when you tell people, "I don't love you, it's just sex," a sure way to would get a guy to love you.
You have to realize rules in relationships are meant to be broken. You almost never get what you expect. The more you back out the more he tries to win you.
Don't feel pressured to love him as much as he loves you. He's tricked into this love game as much as you did with your last boyfriends.
I too had felt that guys who fall in love with me quickly are weak. We have to give them chances too.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2010): I agree with the other poster. I've been there and ended up falling for a FWB but because of distance and other reasons it couldn't be more than that. I pretended i was fine with it and carried on sleeping with him till he got with his now girlfriend. Worst mistake of my life and it still hurts. Plus he still wants to have sex with me even though he's with her. Go figure.
Anyway i think you're going to have to tell him how you feel and get it out in the open. Once you know how he feels then decide what to do from there but don't get your hopes up because i thought the guy i had a FWB thing with thought the same and he didn't. Sometimes you see things that aren't there because you want to believe they're true.
I hope it works out for you whatever happens.
Keep us updated.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2010): I can't say that I know how you feel but I've been in your friend's position. About a year and a half ago I had a "friend with benefits". It worked fine for the both of us until I began to have feelings for him that were more than friendship. I told him how I felt and he admitted that he felt the same way. The only problem was that he had joined the army and was leaving in a few months so a relationship was far from possible. In the end, the only way we could stop our feelings from getting in the way was to stop the "benefits" part of the friendship. I know you don't want to do that but the truth is that a physical relationship can make those sort of feelings more intense. If you really want to save your friendship but don't want a relationship with your friend then stop sleeping with him. Good luck, honey!
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